I Am Waiting (Review)

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I Am Waiting

aka 俺は待ってるぜ aka Ore wa matteru ze
I Am Waiting 俺は待ってるぜ
1957
Written by Shintaro Ishihara
Directed by Koreyoshi Kurahara
I Am Waiting 俺は待ってるぜ
Japan’s cinematic output in the 50s and 60s was astounding, and the quality of films from that period form a reputation that is hard to match. It is no wonder that huge swaths of them got festival coverage over the years, and many get released in the US under premium labels. Nikkatsu Studios produced a whole series of “borderless action” films (as a response to US and French film box office success) and is where Seijun Suzuki made his fantastic flicks, at least until he got fired after constant clashes with the studio head and Nikkatsu later turned into a roman porno factory. But those hundreds of films still exist, and are still awesome. And while many haven’t been seen outside of Japan in forever, the growing appreciation means more and more get releases over time. Hence, I Am Waiting popping up in 2009.
I Am Waiting 俺は待ってるぜ
I Am Waiting is a tale in two acts. Joji Shimaki (Yujiro Ishihara) meets a mysterious woman at the pier who calls herself Saeko (Mie Kitahara) – we find out later her name is Reiko. It’s clear she’s on the run from something traumatic, and we slowly learn that she is a cabaret singer at a yakuza club and one of the gang members got too frisky, so she bashed his head and ran, thinking him dead. Her dreams of being a singer soured after he vocal chords were ruined by an illness, and now she’s trapped in a contract at the yakuza nightclub. Her time with Joji helps her to briefly escape that life, working as his waitress and hanging out in town with Joji. But she’s recognized, and the yakuza come to reclaim her, until she finishes her contract. She spends the last half of the film again working in the nightclub, which Joji returns to occasionally as part of his story.

While the yakuza are confronting Joji, Joji gets a clue into his big mystery, the whereabouts of his brother. His brother was supposed to go to Brazil a year ago to buy land for a farm, but hasn’t contacted him since the boat left port, and Joji’s letters were returned. But one of the yakuza had a medallion that Joji’s bother carried, and the focus switches to Joji’s mystery as he works to unravel just what happened to his brother, and the culprits work to try to cover up their deeds.
I Am Waiting 俺は待ってるぜ
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Hallmark Channel likes you Just the Way You Are!

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Just the way you are hallmark channel

Will you be my dead husband in Fuller House?


As we all know from romantic comedies, people who set up romances know the least about having stable romances in their lives. Thus Candace Cameron Bure’s character, who tries to reignite her marriage, except her husband is all about his job and not his family, which is really bad as Mother’s Day is approaching AND this is Hallmark Channel, the channel from the greeting card company that made you feel guilty about not buying your mom enough stuff on Mother’s Day. So you know things are going to go down!

When a professional matchmaker’s own marriage loses its spark, she seeks to recharge the relationship by asking her husband out on a blind date. As Mother’s Day approaches and their romance starts to rekindle, she wonders if her career-driven husband will finally learn to put his family’s needs before his job.

Dang it, Ian, get it together!!!

Just the Way You Are stars Candace Cameron Bure (Fuller House) as Jennie, Ty Olsson (Godzilla) as Ian, Farryn VanHumbeck (Big Eyes) as Kate, Natasha Calis (The Possession) as Chloe, and Kristine Cofsky (No Men Beyond This Point) as Donna. It’s directed by Kristoffer Tabori (High Plains Invaders) and written by Harvey Frost and Michael Murray

Just the Way You Are airs Saturday, May 9th on Hallmark Channel!

Photo via Hallmark/Bettina Strauss

To Catch a Yeti – New RiffTrax VOD!

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There are some things you just can’t unsee. And Meat Loaf and a animatronic baby yeti hanging out is one of those things. Forget wondering who greenlighted this, because all you should be wondering is how quickly you can get away before your eyes spontaneously explode and then you get put on a terrorist watch list despite the fact you now have no eyes and can’t even watch lists. But at least you won’t be able to watch Meat Loaf and a mechanical yeti.

However, if you are one of the few brave souls who have built up a resistance to eye-explodingly bad movies and mechanical bigfeet and bigmeat palling around, then you should watch the new RiffTrax VOD To Catch a Yeti, but only with the powers of Mike, Kevin, and Bill backing you up. The rest of you, run like a bat out of hell, and also something something do anything for love, but I won’t do that something something.

Buy To Catch a Yeti today on RiffTrax.com!

To Catch a Yeti. To live a dream. To Meat a Loaf. Some things just seem too good to be true. Meat Loaf, in a movie about a bigfoot? But Meat Loaf isn’t playing the bigfoot? Might seem disappointing, until you find out Meat is instead playing the world’s greatest hunter, Big Jake Grizzly, and his prey is a yeti that’s 2 feet tall and makes the puppetry in Mac & Me look like high art. Even calling the yeti a puppet is really an exaggeration, since basically all it can do is sit still and whimper and blink. But that doesn’t stop it from doing some rad skateboard moves1, because hey, it’s the 90s!!! (1radical skateboard moves = someone dropped this stuffed animal disaster on a board and kicked it down a hill)

Against all notions of reason and good taste, a little girl is charmed by the creature and makes him her friend. But there’s also an evil little rich boy (who somehow manages to be even more detestable than the yeti and ‘Loaf COMBINED) who wants the hideous goggle-eyed creature for himself. It all leads to a thrilling hijinks-filled showdown in New York City…or at least, the best fake approximation of New York City to be found in a production so Canadian your screen will ooze maple syrup.

Maple syrup, Meat Loaf, a horrific puppet, and more things you’ll never want to eat again after To Catch a Yeti!

To Catch a Yeti RiffTrax

Murder She Baked brings the cookies to Hallmark Movies & Mysteries!

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Murder she baked hallmark

Forget the murder mystery, there’s a cat in this movie! YES! Must-watch TV!


Murder She Baked: A Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder Mystery is the latest of the various Hallmark Movies & Mysteries series the network optioned and has now reached the small screen to delight us all with bakery-themed death and investigations. It’s the first of the book series written by Hannah Swensen.

Not only that, but there are even recipes from the movie on the Hallmark website, so you can bake while you watch to enhance your movie pleasure. Or rage about how your own cookies are better, like my cookies are.

Murder She Baked: A Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder Mystery stars Alison Sweeney, Cameron Mathison, Lisa Durupt, Toby Levins, Juliana Wimbles, and Barbara Niven. It is directed by Mark Jean (The Nine Lives of Christmas) and written by Donald Martin (Carnal Innocence).

This freshly baked new murder mystery introduces Hannah Swensen (Sweeney), a creative and bubbly baker extraordinaire in a sleepy town in Minnesota, where everyone knows each other and secrets don’t stay hidden for long. Hannah’s bakeshop, the Cookie Jar, is where much of the town’s gossip percolates along with the strong coffee. But after she finds her good friend and delivery driver shot dead in the alley behind her shop, Hannah’s idyllic world is turned upside down. Her brother-in-law and county deputy sheriff recruits Hannah to help him chase down the culprit, but newly appointed Detective Mike Kingston (Mathison) has other ideas on how to investigate. As Hannah gets close to the handsome detective, she also meets the town’s new resident dentist at the prodding of her matchmaking mother Delores (Niven), and is suddenly caught in an unexpected romantic mystery of her own. Then, as a surprising number of suspects emerge, and motives ranging from blackmail to extortion abound, Hannah is strategically placed in the investigation to hear all as she jumps in as detective. Packed with plot twists and red herrings, romantic entanglements and family shenanigans, this lighthearted Hannah Swensen crime solver will please the palate of any mystery fan.

“Murder She Baked: A Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder Mystery,” is a Brad Krevoy Television and Stephanie Germain Productions Production. Brad Krevoy, Stephanie Germain and Eric Jarboe are the executive producers. Mark Jean directs from a script written by Nancey Silvers. “Murder She Baked: A Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder Mystery,” is based on Joanne Fluke’s book Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder.

Murder She Baked: A Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder Mystery premieres Sunday, May 2 on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries! Hopefully the cat gets a lot of screen time.

Photo via Hallmark Press/Bettina Strauss

Lifetime drives into Stockholm, Pennsylvania!

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Stockholm Pennsylvania Lifetime

You can’t seriously let it end with Sex and the City 2, right? That one was TERRIBLE!! You got to complete the trilogy!


A kidnapped girl is rescued as an adult and must readjust to the life she knew before, that is only a distant memory. She’s so used to the sheltered and abusive life of her captivity that being normal seems strange and alien. Stockholm, Pennsylvania deals with emotional trauma after the events of an abduction situation, something we barely see in films. The only one I can even recall is I Know My First Name Is Steven, where Corin Nemec played the adult Steven’s spiral into alcohol abuse and suicidal behavior. Stockholm, Pennsylvania promises a strong look into the rarely mentioned issues that affects those that survive horrific events.
Stockholm, Pennsylvania is written and directed by Nikole Beckwith (her first feature). It stars Saoirse Ronan, Cynthia Nixon, Jason Isaacs, David Warshofsky, and Rosalind Chao.

Lifetime is set to premiere the film “Stockholm, Pennsylvania” on Saturday, May 2, at 8pm ET/PT. Starring Academy Award and Golden Globe nominee Saoirse Ronan (“Atonement”), Golden Globe nominee and Emmy Award winner Cynthia Nixon (“Sex and the City”), Golden Globe nominee Jason Isaacs (“Harry Potter,” “The State Within”) and David Warshofsky (“The Mentalist”), the original movie centers on a young woman, kidnapped as a child, who struggles to readjust to life after being returned home.

Abducted 17 years ago, Leia (Ronan) is miraculously found and returned home to her parents Marcy (Nixon) and Glen Dargon (Warshofsky). Having long forgotten her family, after being raised by her captor Benjamin McKay (Isaacs), Leia finds herself unable to connect to those who love her the most. Instead, she yearns for Ben, the only father figure she’s ever known, and the safety of the basement she called home most of her life. Marcy resorts to desperate measures to forge a relationship with Leia, allowing her marriage to unravel as a byproduct. With Marcy’s increasingly erratic actions echoing those of Ben, Leia is left questioning what it really means to be loved.

Produced by Fido Features in association with Olympus Pictures, “Stockholm, Pennsylvania” is written and directed by Nikole Beck with (“Three Generations,” “Big Beach”). Marking Beckwith’s directorial debut, the film is produced by Greg Ammon (“59 Middle Lane”), Dan Halsted (“Virgin Suicides”) and Leslie Urdang (“Rabbit Hole”).

Stockholm, Pennsylvania premieres May 9th on Lifetime!

Photo via Aaron Epstein/Lifetime

Pale Flower (Review)

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Pale Flower

aka 乾いた花 aka Kawaita Hana
Pale Flower 乾いた花
1964
Written by Masaru Baba and Masahiro Shinoda
Based on the book by Shintaro Ishihara
Directed by Masahiro Shinoda
Pale Flower 乾いた花
Pale Flower starts out slow and continues the leisurely pace, building up the complex web of characters and simmering gang drama. Muraki (Ryo Ikebe) is newly released from prison, after serving a few years for killing a rival gang member. By now the gangs are in a loose confederation as a third power has become a threat to both. The two former rival leaders spend part of their time arguing like old bickering lovers. Muraki is brought back into the swing of things, but kept out of any heavy action because of his recent release status. The reacquaintance with underworld activities results in one exciting point, a striking young woman (Mariko Kaga) who shows up at one of the local gambling houses, bets big, seems bored, and speaks to no one. Muraki manages to attract a scrap of attention from her when he matches one of her large bets.

After a few weeks of gambling together in silence, Muraki scores a conversation with her. She goes by Saeko, and the small time bets no longer excite her. Muraki says he can get her bigger action, he just needs to ask around for where the games are played now. They agree to meet up later in the week, and a partnership is born. Saeko is a thrill-seeker, zipping around in her sports car, betting big. She senses the danger in Muraki and it attracts her, but not in a sexual lust way. Simply being around him is enough. One look at Saeko answers all questions of why any guy would hang with her.
Pale Flower 乾いた花 Mariko Kaga
The increasing bets and Saeko’s danger chasing mirror the increasing threats from the real world. A cryptic guard at one of the games Muraki pegs for a maniac, and soon Muraki is being talked down dark alleys by a hidden killer. The upstart gang kills an important gang figure, and there must be a response of killing their leader. Muraki volunteers, his stretch of freedom growing sour at the same time his relationship with Saeko seems to be going south. But she reunites with him as he prepares to go off to do his job, seeing someone be murdered is a thrill she hasn’t experienced yet.

Muraki is a low-key gangster who seems bored with life in general and justifies his killing by talking down on mankind as a whole. His relationship with Saeko isn’t overtly sexual, but is two people at a similar point in life that come together because they click, and tension boils beneath the surface. Muraki has a woman who waited for him while he was away, she sleeps in the clock shop her family owns, the scenes there punctuated by the ticking of hundreds of clocks, a reminder of the limited length of life. She can’t stay away from Muraki even though he’s no good, and follows him, observing his relationship with Saeko.
Pale Flower 乾いた花
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