What’s going on at TarsTarkas.NET????

Godzilla four wheeler jump

You may have noticed things have slowed to a crawl here at good ol’ TarsTarkas.NET. Or maybe you haven’t, in which case, pay attention! In any event, I am not dead, the site isn’t going anywhere, and aliens haven’t replaced my brain with a cabbage (at least not again since I installed the anti-alien abduction kit I got from eBay!)

What is happening is I’m taking classes again AND doing a lot of running because I’m going to be in a marathon. So that means I’m usually tire from exercising and studying programming, which means the amount of time I have to write and write and write is very small. Even when I have free time, I’m usually just exhausted and chill out playing Hearthstone or watching flicks instead of writing about flicks or the fiction stuff I write that I’ll never share with anyone not married to me.

But classes can’t last forever, and once I run the marathon I’ll have more free time. Updates will continue, just don’t expect the regularity or volume as when I am free as a bird. Yes, it sucks because this year’s traffic has been amazing and now I’m blowing it all by having a life and doing stuff. Silly me! I have no intention of turning this into a running blog and just posting my times, nor will I suddenly throw up a bunch of java or python code and scare everyone away. Reviews and articles are in the queue, some are even written but need images. And the long-delayed March of Godzilla for this year has like 15 entries written, I just need to write the introduction and splash pages that the updates are organized around (you’d think I would take care of that first, but then you’d be wrong!) This will show up before 2015 ends. Thanks for putting up with this site for 11 years!

Double Daddy knocks up Lifetime..twice!

Double Daddy

We’re going to be the best episode of Maury ever!


Just when you thought the baby mama drama genre has run out of ideas, now we got preggers vs preggers with Double Daddy! Yes, Connor the condom hater has gone and knocked up two separate girls, and the new girl in school goes completely insane, and it’s not just the pregnancy hormones talking! Can Amanda survive being pregnant, her dolt of a boyfriend, the baby unfortunately having his loser genetic code, and a rival pregnant girl? Is there ever a Lifetime movie where the new girl at school isn’t trouble? Will the babies be born with psychic links? Remember that Dudley Moore movie where this happened, except the only bad person was Dudley Moore?

When 17-year-old Amanda learns her boyfriend Connor has impregnated a new girl at school, she is shocked…but even more so when she discovers that she too is pregnant! Even though Connor is doing everything he can to be there for both of his teen moms this high school drama is taking social backstabbing to a whole new level.

Double Daddy stars Mollee Gray, Brittany Curran, and Cameron Palatas. It’s also MIA from the IMDB, so I can’t tell you any more about it! Quality!

Double Daddy premieres Saturday, June 6th, on Lifetime! Be there or get pregnant!

Photo via Charles Christopher/Lifetime

Take Aim at the Police Van (Review)

Take Aim at the Police Van

aka その護送車を狙 aka Sono gososha o nerae: ‘Jusango taihisen’ yori
Take Aim At The Police Van その護送車を狙
1960
Screenplay by Shinichi Sekizawa
Based on a story by Kazou Shimada
Directed by Seijun Suzuki

Take Aim At The Police Van その護送車を狙
The Nikkatsu borderless action train continues, this time with a police guard looking to uncover the conspiracy to kill prisoners that he took the fall for. Take Aim at the Police Van gets attention as an early piece from Seijun Suzuki, before he got bored enough to try the widespread experimentalization of his flicks.

Michitaro Mizushima (Underworld Beauty) stars as Daijiro Tamon, the guard on a police prisoner transport van that is hit with gun fire and two prisoners are killed. Because someone must take the blame, Tamon is suspended for six months, which gives him plenty of time off to find out who shot at the van and why. Thus begins an investigation that will see Tamon sucked into the world of sex trafficking, hidden behind fronts of modeling agencies. This gives an excuse to have lots of attractive women running around, which gets even more glaring as most of the male characters range from seedy to extra seedy to so full of seeds they’re being sold at garden supply stores.
Take Aim At The Police Van その護送車を狙
Tamon distinguishes himself as a guard because he treats the prisoners fairly, this gives him enough of a reputation that he gets more doors opened to him when he starts hunting for clues. It also seems to say something about the Japanese prison system if just treating someone like a human being is commendable behavior. Not that we have problems like that in modern day America…

The prisoners that were killed don’t seem to be connected at all, but the more Tamon digs, the more he finds connections to something bigger. A missing sister to one of the prisoners who was working as a dancer is connected to another dancer that was watching the police van just before it was fired upon. The dancer, Tsunako Ando (Mari Shiraki), is dating another prisoner from the van, Goro Kashima (Shoichi Ozawa), who has a mysterious new job that he promises will earn a lot of money. And everyone seems connected to the Hamaju Talent Agency run by Yuko Hamashima (Misako Watanabe), who took over when her father Jube (Shinsuke Ashida) fell ill. But a rival firm has popped up and they are poaching each others’ talent.
Take Aim At The Police Van その護送車を狙
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Kidnapped: The Hannah Anderson Story steals herself away on Lifetime!

Kidnapped the Hannah Anderson Story Lifetime

I haven’t been this miserable since I ran away with that old guy and had to pretend I was kidnapped. I mean, since I was kidnapped!


I take back my statement last week about Lifetime’s lack of confidence in The Wrong Girl, because this week the links for Kidnapped: The Hannah Anderson Story are also broken! This is especially weird since Lifetime went the extra distance to provide more thank just a low-rez trailer, even including behind the scenes stuff! Not that you can get there from the main MyLifetime.com/movies site, mind you…

Based on a true story. On the afternoon of August 3, 2013, 16-year-old Hannah Anderson was abducted after finishing cheerleading practice in a San Diego suburb. When the bodies of her mother and brother were found in the burned home of family friend James DiMaggio later that day, an AMBER Alert was issued, and a frantic multi-state manhunt for Hannah began. For a week she was kept prisoner by the increasingly unstable DiMaggio as they made their way across the state. One week later, the two were found in Idaho and DiMaggio was killed in a shootout with FBI agents, leaving Hannah as the sole survivor. As the dust settled, questions began to emerge about the nature of the relationship between Hannah and her kidnapper. Was Hannah purely a victim of a depraved adult, or is it possible she was more complicit in the tragic events?

Ah, kidnapping conspiracy theories. Every internet commenter will feel justified now!

Kidnapped: The Hannah Anderson Story stars Scott Patterson (Little Big League), Jessica Amlee (Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus 3-D), Brian McNamara (I Know Who Killed Me), Jay Pickett (Guts and Glory: The Rise and Fall of Oliver North), Susie Castillo (Holiday Engagement), and Tim Abell (Snow White: A Deadly Summer ) It’s directed by Peter Sullivan (Christmas Under Wraps, High School Possession), who also wrote the story along with Jeffrey Schenck (Chupacabra vs. the Alamo) and Hanz Wasserburger (A Novel Romance), the latter also doing the screenplay.

Kidnapped: The Hannah Anderson Story premieres Saturday, May 23rd on Lifetime!

Photo via Hybrid LLC/Jack Zeman/Lifetime

Rusty Knife (Review)

Rusty Knife

aka 錆びたナイフ aka Sabita Naifu
Rusty Knife 錆びたナイフ
1958
Written by Shintaro Ishihara
Directed by Toshio Masuda

Rusty Knife 錆びたナイフ
Yukihiko Tachibana (Yujiro Ishihara) is released from prison and trying to go straight, after spending time for killing the man who raped and murdered his girlfriend. But the crime of what happened to her still haunts him. Meanwhile, the cops look for witnesses to murders committed by the local yakuza boss, something Tachibana unwittingly became during his time as a thug. But when he and fellow witness Makoto Terada (Akira Kobayashi) get approached by the cops, they get pulled back into the underworld, and soon there will be a whole lot more murders as the yakuza moves to silence everyone and Tachibana discovers his girl was attacked by more people when she was killed.

The debut picture of future hitmaker Toshio Masuda, Rusty Knife weaves a believable web of police seeking justice through the courts, yakuza bribing and murdering their way clear, and the people caught in the middle. It’s only really handicapped by the too obvious reveal of who the real villain is, his character existing entirely to be a big reveal and contributing little else. The Nikkatsu action format still had a few kinks to work out, but the overall style is coming along nicely.
Rusty Knife 錆びたナイフ
Mie Kitahara clocks in another appearance alongside frequent costar and future husband Yujiro Ishihara as Keiko Nishida, a daughter of a politician who killed himself, until information comes to light that it was staged and he was murdered. Tachibana and Terada are two of the witnesses to the staging, but despite knowing Nishida, he doesn’t realize it was her father he saw being killed until much later. Unfortunately, she seems largely an extraneous character, only sharing a few scenes with Ishihara. While it is nice from a world building stand point, it becomes a negative ding in the film on the emotional front.
Rusty Knife 錆びたナイフ
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The Wrong Girl goes to the wrong channel — Lifetime!

The Wrong Girl Lifetime

Just because I’m left handed it doesn’t mean I’m the wrong girl!


You can tell Lifetime has a lot of faith in its latest original movie The Wrong Girl (aka Fatal Friends), because it hasn’t even bothered to release any promotional material besides a trailer. No pictures, no real information, and the link on the MyLifetime.com website doesn’t even point to the right place. But I have faith in The Wrong Girl, because someone has to. That’s what I do, step up when no one else will.

Sophia is the perfect 17-year-old girl. She studies hard, stays out of trouble, and is a promising pianist. The only problem is that she’s always been quiet and keeps to herself, so when she strikes up a friendship with Grace, the new girl in school, her parents are happy for her. Unfortunately it’s not long before Grace starts showing signs of being possessive. Then, when she tries to destroy Sophia’s family and seduce her would-be boyfriend, Sophia can’t help but wonder if she’s befriended the wrong girl. Now, Sophia must uncover Grace’s secret past and learn the truth about her new friend before it’s too late.

Lifetime continues to teach us that the only thing more dangerous than men are new girls at school.

The Wrong Girl stars Jamie Luner (Stranger in My Bed) as Ashley Allen, Kirsten Prout (Joy Ride 3) as Michelle, Sarah Grey (Embrace of the Vampire) as Sophia Allen, Nels Lennarson (Spooky Buddies) as Dylan Allen, Dominika Juillet (Dracano) as Hana, Alessandro Juliani (Battlestar Galactica) as Mr. Clark, and Nicole Muñoz (Chupacabra vs. the Alamo) as Allison. It is directed by Jason Bourque (Stonados) and written by the incredibly prolific Peter Sullivan (Chupacabra vs. the Alamo, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, every The Dog Who Saved… movie)

The Wrong Girl premieres Saturday, May 16, on Lifetime!

via Lifetime