The last of the kittens, Poppy, has been adopted. Although it is sad my wife and I weren’t in a position to keep them, we are happy they all found good homes. This experience has also inspired us to volunteer at the local animal shelter, so we will be doing that soon.
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TarsTarkas.NET is five years old
TarsTarkas.NET hit five years old this week. What started out as fun with the upping of Catwomen on the Moon (and terribly written, I might add!) is now 283 reviews, along with Battle Beast stuff, the Wingnut Web, an active blog with cult movie news, actual researched articles, and even assisting in the destruction of a crazy racist’s congressional campaign. We have a healthy average of 1250 people visiting each day, and stay in the black from the ads. The most important part is the relationships with other webmasters and readers I have forged over the years. Without any of you, the site would still be here, but it wouldn’t be as great as it is. Five years is only the beginning.
Now if you excuse me, I have to finish up a review about Sek Kin and his giant foot…
SciFi Channel upcoming crap
Before SciFi Channel becomes SyFy, they must make us watch garbage. And after they become SyFy, they STILL must make us watch garbage!
Sand Serpents sounds like someone liked Dune a little too much and decided to turn that into a SciFi Channel creature feature. So they did. Directed by Jeff Renfroe and starring Jason Gedrick, we have US soldiers chasing the Taliban, who find out they are now the ones being chased by the Sand Serpents! Watch it July 11th.
Hellhounds is directed by Silver Spoons himself, Rick Schroder. It involves hounds that are in Hell, because some dude in ancient Greece has wandered into there to go get his girlfriend. I guess he brings other people with him, otherwise the Hellhounds won’t have any doggy snacks. Will Cerberus show up? Find out July 19th.
Malibu Shark Attack is next on July 25, it used to be Goblin Shark Attack and is about a Goblin Shark that attacks. In Malibu. Peta Wilson will defend people from goblin sharks that are released after an earthquake opens an underground lake. Chelan Simmons also costars, she has fought giant bugs, ogres, chupacabras, and snakehead fish before on SciFi Channel, so freaky sharks should be no biggie.
Infestation will premiere August 8th. The official site has stuff for you to check out.
Fast and Ferocious shows up August 11th. No one knows anything about this film yet, so it is probably something else renamed. Hopefully it involves Vin Diesel racing cars against mutant cheetahs.
High Plains Invader then arrives August 30th. It used to be called Alien Western and stars James Marsters vs a bunch of giant bugs in the old west.
SciFi Channel will also be showing a bunch of stuff from The Asylum, with Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus airing August 29th, Transmorphers 2: Fall of Man airing August 1st, and The Terminators airing August 15th.
Is Thomas Haden Church Tars Tarkas?
Maybe.
That’s all the information we have. He is probably going to be in the film, but no one knows for sure as to who he will be.
Wingnut Web – Letterman makes me hate the darkies edition
Oh, David Letterman. One simple joke about a knocked up daugther of Sarah Palin has turned into fake outrage by pretending it was about a different, younger daughter and conservatives playing angels that would never insult young children, while 100% remaining silent on the onslaught of jokes about Chelsea when Clinton was in office! Even John McCain made tasteless jokes at a child’s expense, along with their lord and master, Rush Limbaugh. What was originally going to be a failed look as some random Letterman comments turned into something special thanks to my favorite racist from Resistnet.com, Ann, who goes even more off the deep end than usual to attack the Obama children while simultaneously attacking Letterman for attacking children. The trainwreck is a thing of beauty, and the thread is still ongoing.
We start out with thefoxnation.com…
I have no idea what Delores CH WV’s point is
Jim Long Beach wants to beat up a TV personality because of a joke that he doesn’t understand
Now, nothing too exciting was being posted, so I was all set to let it go. Until I checked out resistnet.com…
Ann goes balls to the walls racist
Ann hopes you aren’t offended…by her views on ugly people!
Ann’s thoughts on the appearance of black people couldn’t possibly be accepted by the community there, right?
sigh…
Madison and Ann have concern for the children, whose parents are filled with hate. No, not their own children…
RikBrooks shows there is at least one semi-decent guy left on Resistnet.com (they will run him off the site soon enough!)
Ann claims she has black friends, like they all do.
RikBrooks tries to talk sense into her…
Ann declares she isn’t racist, and her imaginary black friend also thinks Michelle is “ugly”, so therefore the comments are justified, see!
RikBrooks calls her out
Ann becomes a crybaby! And Ann, you ARE a racist!
Alex Fitch chimes in about how integration destroyed America! How dare you call him racist for hating the darkies!
Mindy also joins the Ann Fan Club of Racist Resisters
Phil shows he loves underage girl incest blowjobs! Let’s hear it for Phil, posting from jail!
Ann begins attacking everyone, even supporters
Ann starts to explode like a volcano of hate!
And Ann begins to play the victim. Black people are the real racists.
That is sadly the end for now, but the thread is still ongoing and if Ann posts her sob story about how one of her racist tirades went awry I’ll add it up. Resistnet.com was laying low for a while, but the crazy racism is back, baby! Until then, Wingnut Web is out!
James Band 007 (Review)
James Band 007
1980
Directed by ???
James Bond ripoffs seem to exists in every culture’s movie repartee. Some countries churn out dozens of them, especially during the boom years of the 1960s and 1970s. So it is only fitting the comedians get in on the act. Spy spoof films also seem to show up in every country. Spy films are a genre ripe for spoofing, because they are usually freaking ridiculous on their lonesome. James Bond even approached self-parody with cheesy ridiculous entries like Moonraker. So it comes to no surprise that we have a Thai James Bond spoof. The surprise is the film has survived to the point of hitting VCD, which pretty much means we will have at least a low-res version of it forever. Hooray for low-grade film archiving.
Now, I originally got this film off the eThaicd website as a whim, looking for something to fill the order up enough. I didn’t expect this to be anything special, I didn’t even expect it to be a comedy. I was surprised when I opened the package and looked through my vcds, just to notice that the cover to this one included a tiny C-3PO and R2-D2 at the bottom of the film poster. I expected that I would scan in the VCD cover, make a joke about how I liked those droids and couldn’t wait to see them, then get all mad when they never showed up. But the movie punked me. Because…C-3PO and R2-D2 are in this movie! Seriously! Sure, generic Thai knockoffs, but it is them and that is who they are supposed to be! It is one of the most awesome movie discovery I have made. Of course, I included clips of the droids in action. Just stay put. I did some research on the cast, since the only thing written in English about James Band 007 is the order page on the eThaicd website.
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