Transformers 2 drawing critisims for racism

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen has drawn fire for racist caricatures in two robots. This is sort of not expected at all because the original was filled with minstrel-types for almost every black actor (Tyrese was the only one who wasn’t embarrassing.) They even introduced a whole house filled with them for Anthony Anderson’s character! Now they got racist robots, and this will probably be the dumbest movie of the summer, even dumber than Wolverine if that is possible. But it will still rake in the dough because people want dumb and explosions.

The street slang-speaking, gold-tooth having, jive-talking, illiterate (how does that even happen??) robots are named Mudflaps and Skids, but Michael Bay says they are for the kids. Kids love racism, you see! It is like Jar Jar. Mudflap and Skids are voiced by black actor Reno Wilson, and white comedian and voice talent Tom Kenny.

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Between Wolverine leaks, Transformers racism, PG-13 Terminators, and GI Joe looking to be a trainwreck, this is one disappointing summer. Only Star Trek emerges not terrible, and that is only because it is not terrible, not good. Oh, and Up, but that doesn’t count because Pixar rules and is above box office comparisons.

Bonus: The most racist toys ever!

You're a Looner!

Looner is a band made up of a husband and wife duo who just happened to score the Teenage Caveman remake we reviewed here a while back. The band even got the name from a line in the film, probably the only good thing the film has spawned. Thus, they emailed me a bit ago to promote themselves as they are releasing some singles soon. Since what I listened to wasn’t that bad, I agreed because I can link to my own review when I talk about them. And, no, I don’t plan to plug every random band that emails me. Now that the full disclosure is out of the way, let’s get to what is important, which is the actual songs:

Video for “I Love My Tamagotchee!”

Looner is made up of husband and wife Angel Roché Jr. and Zoë Roché. Zoë Roché is actually the daughter of Basil Poledouris, responsible for films scores from Conan and Starship Troopers. Zoë even contributed to some of those scores.

Official Website
If you like the song check them out, if you don’t then you probably aren’t reading this far anyway.

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The Furious Buddha’s Palm (Review)

The Furious Buddha’s Palm

aka 如來神掌怒碎萬劍門

1965HKMDB Link
Directed by Ling Yun

Welcome to another adventure down 1960s Cantonese cinema lane! There are no subtitles, of course, unless you count the Chinese subtitles. But we don’t need no stinking subtitles! The character names are translated by my wife. They may not perfect, but all information about the film is in Chinese so this is the best you will get in English.

This is the 5th film in the Buddha’s Palm series, takes up right after the previous films (Buddha’s Palm 1-4.) For an overview of the Buddha’s Palm series, read this article I wrote that accompanies this review. That’s what happens when I get efficient and do research on the films, they spawn additional articles. The film is only sold in a vcd boxed set, but my wife’s parents managed to get a copy from a Chinatown video store that was selling off stock, thus they have this one but none of the other ones. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea. I should try to acquire the set, photos on the internet show that Buddha’s Palm (Part 2) has robot-looking guys, a bird character, and a guy with metallic paint on his face. There is not much other information on the other three parts so I don’t know if they have cool visuals as well.

One highlight of the film is it has both of the teen queen sensations of 1960s Cantonese cinema, Connie Chan Po-Chu and Josephine Siao Fong-Fong. We also have Sek Kin as his usual role as being the villain. This is a Cantonese film in the 1960s, mind you! The rest of the regular players from 1960s Cantonese cinema are present, many of which popped up in How the Ape Girl Stole the Lotus Lamp or Lady Black Cat. Since the last go-round with 1960’s Cantonese cinema, Sek Kin has passed on. He will not be forgotten, nor will this be the last thing he shows up on TarsTarkas.NET in (considering he made hundreds of films, we could be reviewing his films until the end of time!)

Lung Kim-Fei (Walter Tso Tat-Wah) – His father was a great kung fu master who defeated Half-Metal Face and a bunch of other bad guys. He may be the subject of the other four films, I haven’t seen them. Husband knows the 9 Buddha Palm technique, but refuses to use it to harm people after an oath to his departed father/master. This oath gets tested when old family rival Half-Metal Face returns wanting revenge.
Kau Yuk-wah (Yu So-Chau) – wife of Lung Kim-Fei and master of magic rings. She can capture people and fight off flying swords with the rings. Doesn’t want her husband to be branded a coward. Is captured by the evil Half-Metal Face, but saved by Monkey Kid and Dragon Girl.
Monkey Kid (Connie Chan Po-Chu) – Connie Chan is the half-ape child Monkey Kid. We could not figure out if she was supposed to be a boy or a girl, but since no one in their right mind would think Connie Chan was a boy, we’re going to just use “she” as the pronoun. Monkey Kid likes causing trouble, eating fruit, and being loyal to her saviors, Husband and Wife, who adopt her after her parents die.
Dragon Girl (Josephine Siao Fong-Fong) – Student of Half-Metal Face who begins to realize her sifu is a very bad man. Her attempts to turn him good only result in her being tortured by centipedes in her body and sent to do even more evil stuff. Luckily she makes a friend in Monkey Kid and is helped to turn good. Dragon Girl is armed with magic swords that multiply and fly around under her command. Her kung fu powers are so good her master fears her.
Half-Metal Face (Sek Kin) – Sek Kin dons long white hair all over to be evil baddie Half-Metal Face. HMF (as his friends call him) lost a leg battling Husband’s father years ago, and has spent all this time planning his revenge. Now with a giant foot, Half-Metal Face will dominate the kung fu world, unless Husband stops him.

New Review – The Furious Buddha’s Palm

The new review is up, and we once again dip into the world of 1960’s Cantonese cinema to give us a tale of a giant foot, a monkey kid, a dragon girl, a deity’s palm, two teenage movie superstars in the making, Sek Kin being evil once again, and awesome visuals. It is The Furious Buddha’s Palm! Packed with pictures and clips, it even comes with a companion article about the Buddha’s Palm film series! Read it today!

Buddha’s Palm Part 1-4 and related films

One famous set of films from the heyday of Cantonese cinema is the Buddha’s Palm series of films, the main four parts were released in 1964 as Buddha’s Palm Part 1-4. (They are also known as The Young Swordsman Lung Kim-fei Part 1-4)

Starring Walter Tso Tat-wah as Lung Kim-fei and Yu So-chau as Kau Yuk-wah (mentioned because they reprise the roles in The Furious Buddha’s Palm, the 1965 film we are reviewing and thus inspiring this companion article!)

The Buddha’s Palm films are based on Shangguan Hong’s serial novel ‘Thousand Buddha’s Palm’ that was printed in ‘Ming Pao Daily News’. Series director Ling Wan went on to direct the three followups The Furious Buddha’s Palm (1965), Buddhist Spiritual Palm (1968), and Buddhist Spiritual Palm Returned (1968).

The first four parts all in 1964
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Buddha’s Palm Part 1

Lung Kim-fei is disfigured and abandoned by his female junior disciple before running into an ambush sprung by her husband Auyeung Ho. The mythical condor of Wicked God of Fiery Cloud, Ku Hon-wan, flies the man in distress to safety. The master imparts his adopted son the skill of the Buddha’s Palm. A vicious duel six decades ago with Suen Bik-ling, dubbed the Capricious Flying Ring, left both challengers blind. To pay his debt of gratitude, Lung sets out to obtain the cure—treasure of the golden dragon—and wrestles to save Suen’s granddaughters Kau Yuk-wah and Yuk-kuen who come under the attack of a unicorn while seeking the cure. The unicorn blood that splashes onto his face miraculously restores his features. Taking a detour back, Lung chances on But Ku, the helmsman of the Cheung Lei Sect, who teaches the gifted young man the invincible Seven Spinning Gash. Regaining his eyesight, Ku instructs his disciple to return the treasure when he again runs into the sisters and offers aid to help Luk Yu to sever ties with a cult faction. Suen sees, to her shocked dismay, the Fiery Cloud armour that Lung is wearing and strikes him down with a lightning bolt.

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Buddha’s Palm Part 2

Distressed by her sister Yuk-wah’s sacrifice for lover Lung Kim-fei, Kau Yuk-kuen pacifies their granny Suen Bik-ling with the scheme to lure out Wicked God of Fiery Cloud, Ku Hon-wan, using Lung as bait while devising a strategy with Luk Yu. The duo secure help from But Ku in their rescue plan but before they can reach Lung, he has already broken free despite sustaining an injury. Garbed in the Fiery Cloud armour, Yuk-kuen beguiles the guards into a futile chase but is struck down the cliffs by the elder. The mythical condor delivers her to Ku who takes her in as his foster daughter. Luk, however, is captured by Twin Talents of Kunlun. Having perfected four styles of the Buddha’s Palm, Yuk-kuen is aided by Yuk-wah and Lung to rescue Luk. Suen follows on their heels and allies with other adversaries to subdue the disciple with the Capricious Flying Ring. The master administers the ninth style of the Buddha’s Palm, ‘Ten Thousand Buddhas Paying Court’ to defeat his bitter foe and lays their feud to rest.

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Buddha’s Palm Part 3

Lung Kim-fei and Kau Yuk-wah seal their nuptials following the reconciliation between their masters, Ku Hon-wan and Suen Bik-ling, but the auspicious day is marred by the assassination of Suen. Eager for revenge, Kau Yuk-kuen visits Ten Thousand-hand Lohan who reveals the killing weapon to be a silver thunderbolt shuttle and supplies a list of martial arts suspects. On her way to track down Lau Piu-piu, the helmswoman of Heavenly Fragrance Sect, Yuk-kuen is abducted by Auyeung Ho and the protege of the Three Invincible Palm. It is learned that Lau and the deceased are sworn sisters and the real culprit is still at large. Ku follows the leads which reveal the murderer to be the Three Evils, Auyeung’s conspirators, and apprehends the trio with the Buddha’s Palm. Nursing a wound inflicted by Auyeung in an intrigue, Ku flees into a temple where he imprints the ninth style of the Buddha’s Palm onto six tripods to bequeath to his protege with the enemies hot in pursuit.

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Buddha’s Palm Part 4

Kau Yuk-kuen is delivered to safety by the mythical condor with one of the tripods while her foster father, Ku, continues the fight until his last breath. The Three Evils brutally beat and cripple Auyeung to intercept his scheme to appropriate the tripods but fail to prevent him from shoving two of them down into the deep valleys in frustration. Finding themselves no match for the Three Devils, the fellowship seek help from Lau Piu-piu. But the master declines out of a grudge against Suen Bik-ling with whom she was locked in a bitter love triangle which resulted in disfigurement of her face. Undaunted, they embark on a perilous journey in quest of the tongue of a mythical dragon and eyes of a crimson python for her cure. Meanwhile, Kau Yuk-wah has retrieved the two tripods from the deep valleys. Lau engages the Three Devils in battle while the sisters recover the remaining three tripods. Nonetheless, the missing palm print on the last tripod baffles Lung Kim-fei. As the Three Devils overwhelm Lau and But Ku to clinch the tripod, Lung shatters the vessel to find the palm imprint inside and vanquishes the devils with the ninth style of the Buddha’s Palm.

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Three cool images of Buddha’s Palm Part 2 from HKMDB

Bird Guy:
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Metal Dude:

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Robot Kung Fu?!?!:
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Buddhist Spiritual Palm (1968), and Buddhist Spiritual Palm Returned (1968) have nothing at all written about them except a few almost blank database entries. I didn’t even find any surviving ads. They don’t seem to star Walter Tso Tat-Wah, so I am not sure how they are related.

The 1982 Shaw Brothers film Buddha’s Palm even had Walter Tso Tat-Wah as the older master who passed on the scroll about the Buddha’s Palm that eventually resurfaced and started the film going crazy. I haven’t seen this one, but here are some reviews of it: Teleport City, LoveHKfilm

The Baby Formula

Here is a film from the fine folks in Canada that doesn’t quite know what it wants to be. Girl power? Indie? A comedy? All together, it looks like something I would run away from screaming.

Athena and Lilith are two women in love. As with most couples, they dream of having a child that is a true biological combination of them both. Although Mother Nature doesn’t work that way, modern science has found a way to make one plus one equal two. With the help of Jim, a trusted lab technician, they use sperm made from Lilith’s stem cells to inseminate Athena. And it works! Athena is pregnant with Lilith’s child.

Lilith is happy to be an expectant mother, but secretly wishes she was the pregnant one. She goes behind Athena’s back and convinces Jim from the lab to help her with the same process. That causes some friction, but the couple works it out, and everything is running smoothly, until their families get involved.

First there’s Athena’s obnoxious brother Larry. Over a year ago, they approached him to be a sperm donor. Now he thinks he’s going to be a dad. To set the record straight, and prove he is not the father of Lilith’s baby, the couple is forced to divulge the truth. They call a family meeting and announce the news to their loved ones.

Athena’s religious right-wing mother, Wanda wavers between total denial and going through the roof. Her father Karl seems dumbfounded. Grandma Kate accepts the news with quips of humour, wisdom and love. Lilith’s gay alcoholic parents, Daniel and Edward, are ready to be granddads but have their own troubles to face.

While everyone sits back to digest the surprising news of the pregnant couple, Karl makes an announcement that sends the family meeting into a tailspin. The trauma that results brings life’s blessings into perspective and acts as a catalyst for change and growth. What begins as a story of advancements in science, THE BABY FORMULA ultimately ends in a tale of love, acceptance and family.

My favorite part of the trailer is how it is like 88% of all quirky indie film trailers until the last few seconds when the totally out of place and incredibly stupid “My Humps” part. It also pinpoints the exact second I wished this movie flaming death.

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