Wingnut Web – Boooo-urns Edition

Resistnet.com. It’s just…Resistnet.com. That’s the whole joke. Resistnet is a joke. A collection of losers who are insane. Even with the dale henderson worship now gone, the site is still filled to the brim with horrible people. But that’s what you get when you pander to the base of the ultra right wing. Health care mobs on Medicare screeching about socialized medicine. Cognitive dissonance theater. Luckily, this update allows me to make a Simpsons quote, something almost unheard of on the internet!

Let’s all say Boooo-urns!
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How dare this woman use money!
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Yeah, why doesn’t the wife of the leader of the free world just bike around strange cities? I can’t imagine any security concerns…
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Obama hates white people, by the way
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They turn everything into a race issue! They even turn threads about booing a motorcade into a race issue because of their secret racism. Oh, wait, we’re talking about Obama being racist???
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I can’t imagine why the woman in the story was concerned for her kid. No idea at all…
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Liberal Trees? Remember when this joke was about black people instead of liberals?
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Resticted mail letters are the only way to stop Obama the Snake
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George and Pat Wilkins’s favorite way for Obama to leave office is getting murdered. Totally sane. And ignore that Confederate Flag avatar…
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It was a COUP him being legally elected. Why doesn’t the military overthrow our election? Wah Wah Wah, somebody change my diaper!
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Resistnet.com shows their concern for human life:
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So no one could want to see people be hurt…
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Sigh….

Resistnet.com….so wanting someone to kill everyone in Congress.

For some more fun, go visit the Frump Gazette, which has also visited Resistnet recently and was kind enough to link here. But don’t give away the secret of wanting these nutters to post here, Frump!

Dragonball Evolution

Dragonball Evolution (Review)

Dragonball Evolution


2009
Directed by James Wong
Written by Ben Ramsey


Dragonball is a famous manga and anime series from Japan that has fans all over the world. I am not one of those fans so I don’t give a crap how they deviated from the source material. If you just want to read a review that complains about that stuff, then I am sorry, this is not the review for you. If you want to read a review that complains about other stupid stuff and yet still gives the film a fairly positive review, then you have hit the jackpot. Also, there is a monkeyman in this movie, and a CGI dragon. Just saying.

Dragonball the anime is about some dudes who spend 99% of the show charging up for the 1% where they fight and someone gets blasted only for them to fight next week after more charging up. It is the most popular show that has ever existed in the world. The movie decided to ignore the charging up and instead do some sort of “Find the Dragonballs!” plot. Fine with me. The film then basically becomes a low-rent Star Wars ripoff, or at least that same stupid farmboy mythology that everyone does. Sure, that legend has been around forever and Star Wars is known for borrowing elements wholesale from other myths itself, but all of those stories now just end up being compared to Star Wars, like it or not.


And where were the fistcams we were told about? I don’t remember any fistcams in the film. Maybe they realized it looked stupid.

Justin Chatwin does a good job with the normal teenager parts, but the sections where he is vowing revenge, questioning people about stuff in the dragonball mythology, or calling upon dragons to resurrect his master all come off as very badly acted. He just isn’t a good genre actor at this point, but he would be find chatting up some girl on 90210 or something.

Goku (Justin Chatwin) – Goku is the grandson of Master Gohan and your average American teenager who has a martial artist grandfather and is the heir guardian of a mysterious Dragonball that is sought by evil warlords. And he is secretly an evil monkey. Justin Chatwin is the annoyingly not-killed son from War of the Worlds. Here, he is less annoying.
Master Roshi (Chow Yun-Fat) – Master Gohan’s friend and mentor to Goku. Master Roshi is a creepy dude who enjoys some good porn and robots and being a slob. But he cleans up his act to teach Goku. You should know who Chow Yun-Fat is so I am not going to explain it.
Bulma Briefs (Emmy Rossum) – Bulma wants to use her father’s dragonball to develop a new energy source, but the dragonball is stolen by Mai and Bulma runs into Goku while tracking it down. Bulma Briefs was named by a guy, in case you were wondering. Emmy Rossum is enjoyable and graduated high school at age 15.
Chi Chi (Jamie Chung) – Chi Chi is not only a celebration of food, but is Goku’s love interest. She is a secret fighter and also a child of a super rich family and her parents are never around. Jamie Chung likes being on reality shows and drinking and driving. My wife was friends with her sister so that makes me totally famous! And we got cheesecake pics!
Lord Piccolo (James Marsters) – Lord Piccolo was trapped for 2000 years or some crap when he and a monkey failed to steal all the dragonballs long ago. They never mention how he escaped, nor how he got his zeppelin. Zeppelins are cool. Piccolo is green. James Marsters was on Buffy, but I don’t watch Buffy.
Yamcha (Joon Park) – Yamcha just shows up in the middle of the film as a semi-criminal guy who joins our heroes in chasing balls. Joon Park was a member of the music group g.o.d. in Korea.
Mai (Eriko Tamura) – Mai is Piccolo’s servent who just steals all these dragonballs and does other stuff while barely saying anything and looking like Bai Ling should have played the role. Eriko Tamura was in Heroes and the great film Surf School.

Star Trekkin'

Being a giant nerd, I was totally into Star Trek as a kid and had all sorts of third party books and blueprints and other nerd crap. But even I know the difference between reality and fantasy. The internet has allowed the world to come together and exchange information in ways never dreamt of. There is a dark side to this information exchange. Namely, much information is horrible and should never be seen by anyone. Not because of censorship, but because it is just crazy. And thus, here are some crazy Star Trek fan wank stuff that I have found recently:

It appears to be a big thing in Star Trek fanfic to make pictures of your characters using actual actors:
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What a shame they can never make this movie, what with one actor being dead. The creator seems to have a thing for blondes and black men, so know we know what kind of porn this guy watches, as well. And LOL at Vulcan Chris Rock.

Let’s rock!
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This is the same dude:
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Good Lord…

As part of a request from Admiral Nathan Jenkins, the “Kazue” variant was based on a japanese female “Maki Goto” from the 21st Century due to his admiration of japanese culture.

Who is Nathan Jenkins?

Admiral Nathan Jenkins is one of the most honourable Starfleet Officers of his time, due to his Caitian heritage from his father he treasures important things as sacred and that includes the laws of the Federation. However there comes a time when an officer must take a stand for what he knows is right and Admiral Jenkins is no different.

One thing Admiral Jenkins will not stand for is insubordination from his crew, but despite this he has always tried to have a joke and a laugh with othes especially with his crew because he feels one must be close to ones’ crew. This means that Admiral Jenkins will stake a lot for his crew to make sure they are safe because they are his friends and are also like to most Captains are like family to him.

Also because of his aggressive nature he can often be found having arguements with others, adding to this is the “honour” of sorts that Caitians carry similarly to the Klingons in that Admiral Jenkins although being only a Half Caitian hates to lose.
Appearance

Because Admiral Jenkins is the offspring of a Human and a Caitian he therefore has both attributes common to both species. He has two cat like ears coming out from either side of his hair, and also has a long furry tail near the bottom of his spine.

However he has a very humanoid body in appearance lacking the furry appearance that a Caitian would typically have. While having a young appearance, it is almost impossible to know how old he really is, but due to his Human DNA one would expect him to be the age he appears.

There is actually a lot of cat people, but this guy goes way crazy trying to explain it instead of just making another Caitian/human character:

dr. Peterson is a scientist and her specialties are bio physics. One day there was an accident in her lab and she woke up in the sick bay a few days later how ever she had changed and she was realizing this since shortly after she woke up. Zoey was studying a certain Cat like creature from a new found world when the accident happened. she was studying some of its DNA and found some thing remarkable but when she had slipped and fell into a table of a bunch of beakers and DNA samples they all fell onto her and fused into her DNA and she her self had become a bit just like the cat like creature. The only deference was she would still be in her human form but at times she would have cat ears and a tail sprout out at certain reactions of her own such as excitement, and embarrassment. Only the doctor that treated her knows her certain condition and it is not life threatening so she decided she would be able to live with this since the affects can’t be reversed. Some of the side effects she has is she has four newly pointed teeth always. And there is some times that cat urge to do what cats like to do such as play with a ball of string if she sees it.

Zoey Was transferred after the accident a year later to the USS Daystrom to be first officer due to one reason Cannons. Cannons had worked with Zoey back in the academy and when he found that she was at the rank of Commander decided to reunite them and work together as a team once again.

Huh…
Raymond L. Anders

Captain Raymond believes everyone is equal, has a right to a good life and believes all are capable of good. He upholds the beliefs of the Federation and will always look for a peaceful solution to any hostile situation. This is seen in Raymond’s style of command and the way he deals with people.

Raymond does not believe war is the final solution to a problem but believes diplomacy and understand is the true way of peace. However Raymond being a part of Combat Division will always do his duty for Second Fleet and Starfleet, even if that means coming into conflict. He understands the need for protection and self sacrifice, especially when it means protecting the honour and well-being of the Federation.

The house of Vra’chath spread the word of Captain Anders’s deeds which led to him having influence with the Klingon people. But Raymond has also acquired enemies in his quest to help create a peaceful and fair galaxy, such as the fanatical Romulan royalists who kill all who seek negotiation with the United Federation of Planets and the Kalosian Terrorist. Raymond will always fight on the side of good, through upholding the incorruptible political values and upstanding beliefs of the Federation.
Physical Description

Handsome, tall white male with brown eyes and brown hair . Has regular exercise to keep a health body and an alert mind, he is always prepared for any condition Starfleet assigns.

Me

Look out, J-Lo!
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This is the tip of the ice berg. You don’t want to go down this rabbit hole. You don’t.
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Seriously…

Riots in Outer Space – 1959

Riots in Outer Space is a 1959 Mandarin language film that might just be the first Chinese science fiction film. Thanks to the Historical dictionary of Hong Kong Cinema that mentioned Riots in Outer Space in like five entries I decided to look up the film. (that book also gave me a bunch of background biographies that will be used in the upcoming Black Rose films reviews and a few other older Hong Kong movies)

HKMDB link
HKFA link
Chinese HKFA link

Director: Wang Tianlin (aka Wong Tin-lam).
Screenwriter: Wang Tianlin (aka Wong Tin-lam)
Cast:
Kitty Ting Hao (as Lin Hsiao-chu)
Chiang Kwang Chao (aka Chiang Kuang Chao) (as Wang Ting-hsi)
Liu En-chia (as Chang San-yuan)
Li Ying (as boss)
Chen Hao (aka Chan Ho)
Lau Yan-kit.

The Plot:

Chang San-yuan and Wang Ting-hsi work in a firecracker factory and have a craze for making rockets. During one such experiment, an explosion occurs and the two get injured. While staying in the hospital, the duo dream that they wander in the outer space and encounter aliens on Venus. Next, they venture to Mars and declare their love to a beautiful damsel who looks exactly like Chu, the nurse of the hospital. The duo are again under attack… When discharged, they are invited to attend an official firecracker testing. Another explosion occurs, injuring the duo who are re-admitted to the hospital.

HKFA claims to only have handbills and programs for the feature, so I do not know if it exists. In fact, it is hard to find any information on it. The one thing I did find was some photos from INTERNATIONAL SCREEN Chinese Movie Mag DEC 1958 # 38 that was on eBay:
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You can see the style of the film there. Check out the space babe! I shall add it to the list of dozens and dozens of films I am keeping an eye out for.

Serpent Lake now available to order

Serpent Lake, which we have been reporting on several times, has now hit DVD status and is available to order off of their website. If you forgot what Serpent Lake was, just watch the trailer and get refreshed. Or read the stuff below. I don’t make any money off of this, for the record.

Every 30 years, in the summer there is a mysterious unidentified creature claimed to inhabit Astaire’s freshwater lake in Minnesota.

Along with Loch Ness monster Nessie and Lake Champlain’s Champ, this monster is one of the best-known mysteries of crypto zoology. Most scientists and other experts find current evidence supporting the creature’s existence unpersuasive and regard the occasional sightings as hoaxes or misidentification of known creatures or natural phenomena. Minnesotans believe in this legend, even though their theories may vary. The creature thought to be a plesiosaur being the most popular of these theories. But unlike Loch Ness or Lake Champlain, there is no canal linking Serpent Lake to the sea raising the question,” Where does this creature come from? And during this time some people in or around the lake come up missing.

Official site
Order form (that needs spellcheck)
Written and directed by Joel Trujillo

Thanks to Avery for the head’s up.