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InMovie News

Shaolin – New epic film with Jackie Chan, Andy Lau

October 26, 2009By

Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, Wu Jing, Yu Shaoqun, Fan Bingbing, and Nicholas Tse will star in an update of Shaolin Temple (a film that made Jet Li a big star) filmed on the grounds of the Shaolin Temple in Dengfeng, China called Shaolin. The update will be moved forward several decades so it takes place during the Pacific War (aka World War 2.) Benny Chan directs and the action choreography is by Corey Yuen. Expect it out in 2010.

Nicholas Tse will play a wealthy young man who finds refuge in the temple after a tragic incident in his family. He meets his kung fu master, played by Jackie Chan, in the temple as well as future enemies.

Source
shaolin

Sharks In Venice
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Sharks in Venice (Review)

October 26, 2009By

Sharks in Venice

aka Shark in Venice

2008
Directed by Danny Lerner
Written by Danny Lerner and Les Weldon

Sharks in Venice (or Shark in Venice, as the film’s name changes versus the DVD box and the title screen) sounds like it should be one of the best shark films ever. The idea is so obvious and yet so not obvious that no one came up with it. It should be an instant win. But… Someone didn’t tell Nu Image films, who instead of making an awesome film decided to just add some sharks to a mediocre treasure hunt film. The sharks serve so little purpose in the film if they were removed entirely no one would notice. It is one of the greatest shames of the made for SciFi Channel genre. And that is a genre with a lot of shames.

We got the least talented Baldwin brother running around Venice with Scarlett Johansson’s sister while someone who is not related to famous people menaces them and there are sharks who may be related to Jaws, but only on their mother’s side. And Stephen Baldwin dives for a lost treasure.

David Franks (Stephen Baldwin) – David Franks is a diver who teaches a diving class in college. That doesn’t involve actual diving. After his father becomes shark food, David Franks gets involved in a hunt for an ancient treasure and mob bosses and sharks. Just a normal day in Italy.
Laura (Vanessa Johansson) – David’s girlfriend who comes to Venice with him and tries to keep him from doing dumb things. But she didn’t figure on the mob kidnapping her! Also an amazing sharpshooter who brutally guns down mob enforcers. Don’t make this chick mad at you!
Vito Clemenza (Giacomo Gonnella) – The crime boss who spends his family’s money looking for lost treasure. And on importing sharks to release in the water to guard the treasure. Because sharks are cheaper than some hired goons, I guess.
Lt. Sofia Totti (Hilda van der Meulen) – Italian police officer who is on the take. But has a change of heart because the script says so.
Sharks (CGI and Stock Footage) – They are sharks! And they are in Venice! And it should be cool, but it totally isn’t. WAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

InWingnut Web

Wingnut Web – Putting Lipstick on a Swine Flu Edition

October 26, 2009By

They say that laughter is the best medicine. And nothing makes you laugh like the posts at Resistnet.com! Resistnet posts make you feel like a hyena trapped in a nitrous oxide factory. Even if you are on your last breath, just reading the exploits of the crazies will make you crack a smile and put years on your life. Resistnet.com has been waiting since Day One for Barack Obama to declare martial law so they can start shooting nig– I mean, protecting their property. With their guns. By shooting them. At people. Even if they aren’t on their property. We know Obama will declare martial law and try to suspend elections. Because…uh…you see… Resistnet just knows, okay? You have to be crazy to think otherwise.

It begins…
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Alice Grannas knows National Emergencies mean she has feet
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How dare Obama make it easier to help people! The monster!
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Let’s see, racism, faulting Obama for helping people, faulting Obama for not letting 90% of the world population die, a fake Forrest Gump quote, and it is all a prayer.
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I think your film is over-exposed.
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If we start gunning down people because of this, the Feds will react! How dare they step in the way of me gunning down federal employees!
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I’m going to cut to the chase and say Cynthia Sue Braxton is crazy.
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Heh heh heh, “HINI”!
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What some guy says he heard on FoxNews and email forwards, the two most trusted sources of information!
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Beware the spooky powers!
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O. Hitler is a famous short story writer.
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Let’s stay level-headed and cool…ID chips! ID chips! ID chips! ID chips! ID chips! ID chips! ID chips!
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Alice Grannas shoots everyone who comes to the door. 4 Mailmen this week!
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Let’s just make up more stuff! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Why am I dying?
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News so important it generated multiple threads
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Illegal aliens take our jobs and take our vaccines! You know, the ones we don’t want because they control your mind!
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If Alice doesn’t die in a hail of bullets from the cops she will cry herself to sleep.
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“David” “C.” “please” “stop” “using” “quotes” “thanks”
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carol , mouse warrior of SHADY WEBSITES!
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Haven’t you been paying attention? Everyone dies.
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Melinda is a racist piece of crap, and a perfect example of Resistnet.com and Grassfire.org’s target audience!
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Yeah, Bush would never violate our constitutional rights!
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12. And Jesus said unto them “Verily I say unto you, suffer the little children and blow them away. 13. Load your glocks and remember to aim between the eyes. 14. Kill them all and let dad sort it out. Amen!”
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carol , mouse warrior of CRAZY
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Let’s not panic, One World Government! One World Government! One World Government! One World Government! One World Government! One World Government! One World Government! One World Government!
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Join Resistnet.com and get involved with creepy conversations like this!
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Swine flu is a myth! I saw it on the internet!
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One of you please shoot people because I am too big of a pussy to!
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Yes, this entire affair is to protect…Virginia?
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carol , mouse warrior of ANNOYING STATE REPS EVERY HOUR
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Yeah, all those troops in the streets…
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Yeah, allowing vaccinations faster totally equals butchering the opposition.
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Yeah, why would anyone think Resistnet posters are racist?
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Oh No!
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Blah blah microchips, military dictatorship, Jesus… but we AREN’T panicking!
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carol , mouse warrior of MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD
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It great news for John McCain that there is a military dictatorship in America!
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Wingnut Web has to go now, for we caught the sniffles! But don’t worry, the stuff we hack up is nowhere near as disgusting as the average Resistnet.com post, so we’ll be back and stronger than ever soon enough!

InMisc News

Crazy giant monster tourist videos for Hakodate, Japan

October 24, 2009By

The Japanese city of Hakodate has created some crazy tourism videos involving giant monsters, alien invaders, robots, and all the stuff that make nerds go nerdgasm. So get your N-face on and watch these commercials!

We got alien squid invaders from ikaaru who are upset over the Hakodates squid consumption. They hijack local landmark and giant mechanical squid Ikabo (Hakodate’s tourism mascot) and set it loose to destroy the city. Luckily, the city has two robotic defenders, a building called the Goryokaku Tower that turns into a robot and a giant clay figure called a Chuku Dogu that also is secretly a robot. A giant clay robot. And another historic building called the Goryokaku Fortress joins the fight in the form of a giant spaceship with a drill on it. See all six parts of the commercials below:

Source: PinkTentacle

Just imagine the US version of this, with DC being invaded and giant Abe Lincolns and Washington Monument robots fighting it out…

For more Kaiju commercials, see here and here.

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