Edison Chen and the Poo Patrol

Disgraced Sex Scandal survivor (and former Hong Kong star) Edison Chen got another honor this week – someone threw a bucket of poo at him! Throwing poo seems to be the weapon of choice in China, as long ago Vicki Zhao Wei had poo thrown at her for wearing clothes made out of the Japanese flag. But all Edison Chen did was bang a lot of Hong Kong celebrities and “accidentally” have the pictures leak all over the internet. I guess this guy was an obsessed Twins fan. Or maybe and obsessed Cecilia Cheung fan. Or he was upset because there should have been more photos. In any event, expect Hong Kong celebrities to be packing umbrellas for a while until the rain of poo comes to an end.

Source

More info on Edison Chen scandals

This is not poo.  Or is it Rainbow Brite's poo?  Edison Chen, you sex maniac!

This is not poo. Or is it Rainbow Brite's poo? Edison Chen, you sex maniac!

TeaParty.org and Resistnet.com meet the N-word

TeaParty.org owner Dale Robertson is one of those patriotic guys who wanders around teabagging people while carrying signs with racial slurs on them. And he is being promoted by Resistnet.com! Or they were, everything related to Dale Robertson seems to have been scrubbed from Resistnet.com, though I still have the email I got from them promoting the TeaParty.org concerts.

So the story goes, Resistnet.com sent out an email promoting “Liberty Concerts” set up by TeaParty.org and the owner of the site, Dale Robertson. But then bloggers were told about this photo of Dale Robertson at a Teabagger Rally on Feb 28th:
teapartypic
Note that he was kicked out of the rally for the sign, but just look at his sign. Expecially look at how the misspelled racial slur seems to be taped over that part of the sign, making me wonder what he possibly could be covering up. But I’m just weird like that.

Later Resistnet quickly sent out this follow up email message:

This is in response to the blast mail you received regarding the Liberty Concert being promoted by the National Tea Party group. The purpose of the email was to share an opportunity for you to experience the fellowship and company of
other conservatives, as we kick off the election season and strive to
take back America, restoring it to the Constitutional Republic it is
meant to be. While they are a separate group from us, we share many of
the same goals, a free, conservative America, and fiscal responsibility
within our government. We are not necessarily promoting their complete ideology.

And all information about the “Liberty Concerts” seems to have been completely scrubbed from the site (or their search is acting dumber than usual)

In any event, this is probably very embarrassing, thus, we’re reporting on it, even if we are late a bit. Darn us having lives and contributing to the economy!

Source and our own emails

Here is the full text of the email, for posterity’s sake.

Teaparty.org is inviting all of you to take part in their Liberty Concerts:

Tea Party Taking The Next Step

“We are setting the tone for taking back America with Liberty Concerts. We are not waiting until the first quarter of the year, we have already begun.” Dale Robertson, President and Founder of the Tea Party – TeaParty.org

‘Liberty Concerts’ is a venue designed to be the key to create a model for our Nation to Take Back America. The Tea Party does not intend to waste their time simply rallying. The Plan is to optimize the events, they will be fun and Citizens will be asked to run for office, with the focus of Restoring America, and thus, putting it on the Conservative track.

The goal is to shift attendees from being merely a presence at a rally, into involved Patriots recognizing the need to be engaged in the process of Self-Governance.
The Tea Party is gearing up for action. Robertson has a developing strategy to bring the Republic back under the control of ‘We The People.’ He is asking for thousands of Patriots across America, to run for office.

Robertson stated: “Even though the likelihood of their success is diminished by the lack of experience or financial support; the knowledge will be invaluable for the next election cycle and a point of pride for the American People.”

The Tea Party’s number one imperative, is to have candidates on the ballot. The second priority is to get out the vote, especially in Texas where Robertson lives and the home of over 800,000 members of the Tea Party……….

Robertson is molding the Tea Party events to empower Citizens so they will make a difference in the November 2010 elections. The ongoing tactics are to prioritize States, creating a durable model for ballot access, voter eligibility, precinct chair/county chairs, and candidate awareness. The Tea Party is actively seeking candidates that represent Conservative Constitutional Values. It appears the Major Parties can’t get in step with such a complex idea as Conservative Constitutional Values; therefore, the Tea Party will make it easy for the Independent Parties to break the glass ceiling and get on the ballot.

The ‘Liberty Concerts’ event taking place in Stafford, Texas is a developing prototype, which when successful, will allow the Tea Party to create a thriving event not in months but days. We will be quick on the draw, sure fired and ready to rock in a matter of only a few days. This Tea Party formula will work against incredible odds and will be nothing short of a miracle, but Robertson believes with all his heart all the pieces will fall into place.

Does the Tea Party really believe it can make a difference in November? “Some say, “talk is cheap” but 2 years ago when I started the modern day Tea Party no one believed it could work now 7 million strong, the world is listening and America is hoping, we will not fail.” Dale Robertson – TeaParty.org

Wingnut Web – Lee Harvey Freeper Edition

So I have to admit, I am a hoarder. I have literally hundreds of randomly horrible Wingnut posts collected for several months that I had been planning to feature on Wingnut Webs. I even uploaded most of them into a draft file that has a bajillion pictures and takes forever to load on preview. So I guess I should start unleashing them upon the world, making you both horrified and laugh-out-loud hysterical at the same time. Such are the Wingnuts and their musings. Watching A&E’s Hoarders thanks to the magic of the last two episodes being hosted on their site so we stream there every week or so is always a fun time. And good motivation to clear the clutter. So here comes an update that should have been put out in 2009, featuring yet another almost threat against Barack Obama’s life on FreeRepublic.com that skirts along by not directly threatening Obama.

We open with yet another random OP written by some sore loser still crying in his diapers about the 2008 presidential election, his stained Sarah Palin shirt beginning to disintegrate along the armpits and neck.
f1.jpg
f2.jpg

The comments are a bunch of agreeing and cheering on from the armchair revolution crowd, until you notice that syc1959 has posted a gigantic image in his post…
f3.jpg

What is that image? Well, here it is, click it for huge!
treason

Now where have I seen something like that before…
JFK treason
Lee Harvey Oswald was passing these out! And then he was framed by the CIA/mob/Nixon/KGB/Castro/JFK himself for the JFK assassination, just like the Freeper who shoots Obama will be framed. But we all know this is just an isolated case and FreeRepublic.com is not a hotbed of crazy mofos jonesing to have the president killed…
f4.jpg

Sigh…

BONUS FreeRepublic.gif!

14l7srs

Next up – some of the bajillion Resistnet.com posts we have stored up. That site could go down tomorrow and Wingnut Web would still be giving updates for the next six months!

Meet your future occupiers

When the Wingnuts begin firing off their high-powered assault rifles and declare the beginning of Civil War II these nice folks will be there to greet you with either a bullet (if you don’t look like them) or a cheery gift-basket full of MRE rations, Confederate flags, and Bibles (maybe some tea bags too).

Yup, if you can’t read their banner this is a photo of those brave souls in the Texas branch of The Well Regulated Militia (http://militias.ning.com), or atleast the members that were brave enough to meet other internet militia folks in middle-of-nowhere Texas. The Regulator (Oath Keeper), who keeps popping up on Resistnet and Militia.Ning, posted this proud photo so I assume that’s him standing in the middle with the .44 that would make Charles Bronson run in the other direction. Let’s see who else we got here…

This pictures almost reads like the High School A/V Club’s yearbook photo (except with a lot more guns and illegitimate children). Looks like all the members of The Texas Well Regulated Militia made it out for this photo op though. We’ve got:

The young kid who got dragged to this boring dumb thing by his lame dad

The shotgun wedding couple who decided to bring their 2 year old along so he could play with all the pretty firearms

Some pudgy porker guy whose weapon of choice appears to be a baseball bat or plank of wood

A creepy Sam Elliott look alike who prefers to bludgeon people with guns rather than shoot them

One of the GEICO cavemen (or what I assume is Sam Elliott’s wife)

The token Vietnam vet who prefers historic rifles

The fat goony looking fellow with an AK-47 (Jorts do not provide good camouflage buddy!)

What I can only assume is fat goony guy’s hot sister

Butchy McButcherson (the token closet lesbian of the group)

and some poor old guy who they found sleeping at the bus station (and who continues to sleep while his picture is taken, at least they propped a rifle up against him).

Not pictured: the crystal meth lab

This cheery fellow is apparently part of the group too but I guess he didn’t fit into the photo with his huge gun and all. The following text was included along with the pictures:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)
Do YOU recognize any of these people?

These Texas boys & ladies will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken fried steak.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Snopes.com is run by Communist Liberals!

Snopes.com is a great website. I’d estimate that at least 1.7 million people (a figure I just pulled out of my ass like so many Tea Party organizers) visit Snopes.com every day to settle silly little arguments over some dumb “fact” that someone heard off the Internet that sounds just too ridiculous to be true. Beyond debunking things like Old Wives Tales and rumors about Coca-Cola, Snopes has also turned their attention in recent years to cataloging and analyzing rumors, myths, stories, pictures, and all the rest of it from events like 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina.

And wouldn’t you know it, things have gotten so ridiculously stupid with the Birther/Tea Party movement that Snopes has even dedicated their valuable time to debunking pretty much everything that has come out of the mouth of Orly Taitz, Steve Elliott (the guy in charge of Grassfire.org and Resistnet.com), Rush Limbaugh, various chain e-mails, racist photochops, and everything else those illustrious “Patriots” have come up with. Before getting started I’d just like to point out the sheer number of Snopes posts about President Obama rumors and how 98% of those rumors are marked with a red “this-is-utterly-bullshit” dot (yes it is true that the winning number for the Pick-3 in Illinois lottery was 6-6-6 the day Obama was sworn in as President, why has Glenn Beck not made light of this scandal yet?). But further more, and even more importantly, you can’t trust ANYTHING Snopes has to say about ANY matter WHATSOEVER PERIOD END OF STORY because it’s run by Communist Fascists according to the same Birthers who Snopes likes to debunk.

For whatever reason this “Associated Press article” that asserts that Orly’s Obama eligibility court case is being heard by the Supreme Court just won’t die. For smart people like us at TarsTarkas.net and you the reader it means more eye-rolling and sighing, but for the echo-chamber loving Birther movement it means continually getting outraged by the same fake news article every two months and having to be talked down to by another Birther who found out it was fake the last time the article surfaced. For your enjoyment here is the text of this fake AP article (notice the language in it and how a high school graduate could have written something more convincing):

VERY QUIETLY OBAMA’S CITIZENSHIP CASE REACHES THE SUPREME COURT

AP- WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move certain to fuel the debate over Obama’s qualifications for the presidency,the group “Americans for Freedom of Information” has Released copies of President Obama’s college transcripts from Occidental College . Released today, the transcript from the school indicates that Obama, under the name Barry Soetoro, received financial aid as a foreign student from Indonesia as an undergraduate.

The transcript was released by Occidental College in compliance with a court order in a suit brought by the group in the Superior Court of California. The transcript shows that Obama (Soetoro) applied for financial aid and was awarded a fellowship for foreign students from the Fulbright Foundation Scholarship program. To qualify, for the scholarship, a student must claim foreign citizenship.

This document would seem to provide the smoking gun that many of Obama’s detractors have been seeking. Along with the evidence that he was first born in Kenya and there is no record of him ever applying for US citizenship, this is looking pretty grim. The news has created a firestorm at the White House as the release casts increasing doubt about Obama’s legitimacy and qualification to serve as President article titled, “Obama Eligibility Questioned,” leading some to speculate that the story may overshadow economic issues on Obama’s first official visit to the U.K.

In a related matter, under growing pressure from several groups, Justice Antonin Scalia announced that the Supreme Court agreed on Tuesday to hear arguments concerning Obama’s legal eligibility to serve as President in a case brought by Leo Donofrio of New Jersey . This lawsuit claims Obama’s dual citizenship disqualified him from serving as president. Donofrio’s case is just one of 18 suits brought by citizens demanding proof of Obama’s citizenship or qualification to serve as president.

Gary Kreep of the United States Justice Foundation has released the results of their investigation of Obama’s campaign spending. This study estimates that Obama has spent upwards of $950,000 in campaign funds in the past year with eleven law firms in 12 states for legal resources to block disclosure of any of his personal records. Mr. Kreep indicated that the investigation is still ongoing but that the final report will be provided to the U.S. attorney general, Eric Holder.

Mr. Holder has refused to comment on the matter.

Here is the Snopes page that deals with most of the information concerning the Orly Taitz lawsuit. Despite the fact that this fake story was posted on Resistnet TWO MONTHS AGO (and another two months before that) and received generally the same reaction (you know a story is bullshit when Birthers come out of the woodwork to speak against something another Birther posted) you still get these geniuses inquiring about where they should channel their outrage.

Birther elligibility

First post, even the dumb ones are inquiring as to where they can find a link to the story. Not because they want to verify where it’s coming from but because they want to chain email it to everyone they’ve ever met.

AZ is concerned about Snopes

Wow when AZ-concerned talks something down you KNOW it must be bullshit. I also don’t have to point out how ridiculous Suzanne Fort makes herself sound. Oh I can’t trust these Snopes people because they might be Democrats, I’ll have to confer with my fact-checker Andrew Breitbart before I can accept this information as unbiased.

Fake Hawaiian Birth Cert

The only reason I’ve ever gone to Hawaii was to get some fake documents made up so I assume this too. I mean Obama hasn’t come out against this and said he’s NOT forging his birth certificate while on vacation. I got a funny feeling about all this…

The boy who cried bullshit

Ah now the truth starts to come out. Unfortunately The Regulator (Oath Keeper) can’t continue with this trend because we all know all he does every waking minute of every waking day is read up on what Resistnet and HotAir and FOXNation have to say.

Snopes is funded by ACORN!

Thank you Jim! Not only do you point out that this kind of thing is STUPID but you also bring to light the fact that this kind of BULLSHIT isn’t being properly moderated. But wait I thought Resistnet was moderating themselves super extra hard now because of this kind of thing. Also Snopes is run by ACORN, no surprise there. I wonder what Youtube video The Regulator (Oath Keeper) learned that from.

Jim is a smart guy (kinda)

I agree with everything Jim says (except the part at the end about shredding this conversation, we here at TarsTarkas.net believe we should archive such a discussion for the good of all man kind and in the name of internet humor!).

And there you have it. All these responses for something that’s circulated SIX TIMES ALREADY on Resistnet and has been debunked by these same amnesiacs over and over again. But don’t worry, everything else you read on the Internet must be true.

Sea Squirts in Long Island Sound

Hello, puny masses! It is I, Dr. Mobusu, here to once again grace you with my magical, mythical presence and abnormally amazing intellect. Soon, Dr. Mobusu will be a household name, and all of you who laughed will spit feeble curses before you are crushed beneath the legs of the giant panda herds. But enough of future events, let’s take a look at current events. Hordes of Sea Squirts are causing trouble in Long Island Sound. I know for a fact this is the work of a colleague of mine, Dr. Tobias Hunter. His passion is introducing species to new locations and delighting in the ecological damage. Dr. Hunter invented Killer Bees, released avian malaria upon Hawaiian birds, and even sails around the pacific throwing rats and goats onto islands. We are mad scientists, and we are legion. MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

In search of suffocating sea squirt
By MARIAN GAIL BROWN

Armed with sonar maps, cameras and a remote-controlled vehicle that looked ready for lunar exploration, University of Connecticut scientists plumbed the bottom of Long Island Sound on Tuesday for a slimy quarry.

The sea squirt, a blob-shaped animal with exponential reproductive powers, threatens to snuff out young lobsters and other shellfish.

Like the zebra mussel, which bonds to boats and can clog pipes at sewage-treatment plants, the sea squirt is an invasive species that UConn researchers believe hitched a ride on an ocean-faring vessel from Asia and dropped into the Sound. There are about 3,000 known species of sea squirts. The one drawing attention here is known as didemnum.

It looks like a mass of rubbery goo and can attach to anything from marina pilings to ship hulls to the grainy, sandy bottom of the Sound.

“This thing has the potential for causing significant economic impact when it attaches to the floor of the Sound, where it blankets and suffocates shellfish and lobsters,” said Ivar Babb, director of UConn’s Undersea Research Center at Avery Point in Groton. “They have no known predators. Their surfaces have a pH level of 2, which makes them quite acidic. Nothing grows on it.”

Sea squirts, depending on the species, range in color from a creamy translucent pearl to olive or tan. In Japan, there are some red species.

They reproduce quickly and form large mats covering an ocean floor. And breaking them apart seems to do no good, Babb said, because, like sea stars that become damaged, they can grow replacement parts. In other words, splitting one sea squirt in half doesn’t kill it — it only creates two of the plankton-eating creatures.

“It looks like a blob. It doesn’t have that graceful look that a jellyfish has floating carefree on the surface of the water,” Babb said. “This thing is ugly. It has no socially redeeming virtues.”

What concerns UConn and the aquaculture industry is the sea squirt’s incredible ability to reproduce and form large ocean-floor mats that suffocate other sea life. The UConn researchers want to document how much of the Sound’s floor the sea squirt blankets.

….

“We are seeing come large colonies of these sea squirts,” said Robert Whitlach, a professor of marine sciences at UConn at Avery Point, on board the boat Tuesday afternoon. “Sometimes they are a few inches in diameter; other times they are a mat 4 to 5 square feet. What’s surprising is that we didn’t find them in the area that we originally expected to. We’re finding them where we are now, 1 miles south of Stonington, near the Rhode Island/Connecticut border.” If the scientists don’t find bigger quantities of the blob-like creature, they may use chlorine or vinegar to kill it. But first they’ll study what effect those substances might have on other marine life native to the Sound.

Sea squirt sightings are becoming more common in the United States, showing up in places as far flung as Puget Sound in Washington state to San Francisco and off Massachusetts and Maine.

….