Sounds of Spam – Comments Edition

So like any blog, TarsTarkas.NET gets spammed like a bad Monty Python sketch. And as spammers get better and better at evading askimet, the spam comments sound more and more like something Trig Palin would post. so I welcome the extra-chromosomal Palin spawn to TarsTarkas.NET with an overview of the latest things spammers have said.

Random word time!

Major To,sequence purpose wait language those himself provided effect above style circumstance system successful couple possibly ticket question accompany hair advise balance care separate module increase take child involve body advise aim user long game illustrate competition solution egg real game day relation where funny standard street examination observe remind reach first population computer round round adopt forward fight transport his before other already crime clean training session power listen start mental decision off deep early doctor the run art proper tall red college opposition she transfer entitle

One common trick is to have the same message but have some of the words lsightly changed so it doesn’t show up when you google search the comment. Granted, this doesn’t help when the bot dumps five almost identical comments at the same time
Spot the differences!

Intimately, the article is really the sweetest on this precious topic. I fit in with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your forthcoming updates. Saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the extraordinary clarity in your writing. I will directly grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates. Fabulous work and much success in your business enterprize!

Intimately, the post is in reality the sweetest on this valuable topic. I concur with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your incoming updates. Saying thanks will not just be enough, for the great lucidity in your writing. I will directly grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates. Gratifying work and much success in your business dealings!

Well, the post is really the greatest on this laudable topic. I agree with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your coming updates. Saying thanks will not just be adequate, for the exceptional lucidity in your writing. I will immediately grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. Authentic work and much success in your business enterprize!

Bots are the harshest critics

I do not know if I concur with your post here. While you do make a good point, I don’t believe you’ve really given a large amount of thought to the opposite side of this argument. Maybe I could do a guest post or a follow-up, just make me aware.

Can you help this spammer?

Hi, how are you doing? I truly like your blog! I wonder if u might assist me (im positive some other readers might also be interested). I want to get into blogging also and I at the moment write a blog with Word Press, but it is very confusing for me to create and I would like to try to get several training guides or courses (hopefully ones that are free) that can assist me in making use of wordpress correctly. As a Word Press web master yourself, do u perhaps know where i can find tutorials to be able to do this? Thank you

Vague comments are another trick, sort of like spinning when your spaceship is fighting battledroids

Pretty great entry, genuinely enlightening stuff. Never ever thought I would obtain the information I would like in this article. I’ve been hunting everywhere in the net for some time now and was starting to get discouraged. Thankfully, I stumbled across your website and acquired exactly what I was hunting for.

This might even be on-topic if it wasn’t from Acai Berries Cheap Acai Berries whose homepage was a profile on a forum

How can you not love Vincent Vega (Travolta in Pulp Fiction)…am I right?His new role in From Paris With Love looks cool, even if the name sounds like a James Bond rip off…

Return of the vague

Solid blog. I got a lot of great information. I’ve been keeping an eye on this technology for awhile. It’s fascinating how it keeps changing, yet some of the core components remain the same. Have you seen much change since Google made their latest acquisition in the field?

Even politicians are getting into the spam field

I was reading something else about this on another blog. Interesting. Your linear perspective on it is diametrically opposed to what I read before. I am still pondering over the diverse points of view, but I’m leaning to a great extent toward yours. And irrespective, that’s what is so good about modern democracy and the marketplace of thoughts on-line.

That’s great SEO SEO SEO SEO SEO SEO SEO SEO SEO

I have decided to donate for Haiti’s orphans. I suggest that you donate to those scarred by this unfortunate disaster too.

Trust your SEO jobs to someone who can’t even type a sentence in English!

It can struck down your offline selling tolls too if you get it terminated the right way. Finding Out somebody who not only does SEO but does the content conception and distribution for you as well as keyword search, updating content on your internet site and blog, having professionaly written releases at poor prices as observed previous is what suits many small business proprietors and yet there are many another who seek to do it themselves, they get amazed as they dont have the knowledge or the technical sciences to do it promptly and they abandon. Thank you for this article! I’ve just recovered a certainly unbelievable web 2.0 source about seo Try it!

That’s great! I don’t give a frak.

Although we dwell in a residentai aapartment. I found a way to have a better living space. I rented a condo and a studio with connecting wall, and broke the internal wall. now I have a fancy place to live in.

My pappy used to throw lemons at cops, we got lots in common!

Your post reminds me of when I was a kid growing up in Tennessee. My pappy used to say “When life give you lemons, make lemonade”. But he was a hopeless drunk who never made much sense so I never paid much attention to him. Have a great day!

Frakking Brian is just ruining TarsTarkas.NET!

Note to Brian: Before you post, stop and take a deeeeeep breath and think. Then get up from the computer and have a drink of cool-aid, perhaps a sandwich and a twinkie, and think a little additional, walk round the house and ponder. When that is all done, return to the pc, post and offer us all one thing to laugh about.

And they call it….puppy love!

What the… you will not belief that. My stupid puppy actually farted on my ankle!? I mean what’s the matter with this!? I care for this thing and I receive that in return. I still will not belief that. Anyway, you have got some helpful information there in your article. I knew Yahoo will take me to a few useful stuff today :). Okay need to search for this pet now! Have a great day you all!

I’m also leaving out the trick one tried which was to pull comments off of the blog and resubmit them, except with their spam links in the middle of the comments!

Oh, there will be more spam. And it will be dumb!

Silver Lion
Image via UglyAtRoss

Karen Mok for no reason

Been too long…
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Teabaggers, mad as Hell that they are crazy, act more crazy!

From the “You can’t make this crap up!” Department, this past week in Teabagger Nation has been an insane ride of crazy trying to top crazy, to the point where you had to keep notes on your hand to be the craziest. But more on that later…

Things started off innocent enough when DailyKos did a simple poll asking self-described Republicans (note: This is Republicans, not those who got so fed up with the Republican Party they now self-identify as teabaggers) some questions that showed that they are buying the complete garbage the Right Wing pundits are spewing 24/7.

I’ll steal this summary from HuffPost because of laziness:

# 39 percent of Republicans believe Obama should be impeached, 29 percent are not sure, 32 percent said he should not be voted out of office.

# 36 percent of Republicans believe Obama was not born in the United States, 22 percent are not sure, 42 percent think he is a natural citizen.

# 31 percent of Republicans believe Obama is a “Racist who hates White people” — the description once adopted by Fox News’s Glenn Beck. 33 percent were not sure, and 36 percent said he was not a racist.

# 63 percent of Republicans think Obama is a socialist, 16 percent are not sure, 21 percent say he is not

# 24 percent of Republicans believe Obama wants “the terrorists to win,” 33 percent aren’t sure, 43 percent said he did not want the terrorist to win.

# 21 percent of Republicans believe ACORN stole the 2008 election, 55 percent are not sure, 24 percent said the community organizing group did not steal the election.

# 23 percent of Republicans believe that their state should secede from the United States, 19 percent aren’t sure, 58 percent said no.

# 53 percent of Republicans said they believe Sarah Palin is more qualified to be president than Obama.

When the poll was release, a few right wing pundits went insane. Well, more insane than usual!

BillO said

On the left, we already told you about the crazy Kos people, but somehow folks like Arianna Huffington are now considered legitimate news sources. That’s what the president should be worried about.

And he has Karl Rove on to agree with him, because, why the heck not?

But the real fun began as the Teabaggers had their $549 a seat “for the people” National Convention which started off with a bang as Tom Tancredo called for the return of voter literacy tests! Holy Jim Crow, Batman!

The highlight of the Teabagger Convention (BagCon ’10) was Sarah Palin, fresh off her quitting of being offended over the term retard:

Palin gave an impassioned speech for two-year-olds, where she slammed Obama for using a teleprompter, then promptly read things that she had written on her hand.

This is not a double standard, this is a sextuple standard! Someone call Jon and Kate Plus 8, because we got too many standards!

Another funny story out of this convention comes from this blog about some of the seminars at BagCon ’10:

At a session called “How to Unite State Tea Party Groups”, the speaker slowly and deliberately guided the audience through a basic web search.

“In the space at the top of the computer, type in w-w-w-g-o-o-g-l-e dot c-o-m. That website will help you find what tea party groups near you. Then type, Florida Tea Party, then hit the Enter button on your keyboard.”

It was a slow, painstaking process. He had to repeat himself many times, as some could not keep up; others simply couldn’t hear him because their hearing aids were too low

—–

At the end of his “how-to” seminar, the speaker said, “Listen, if y’all can’t find your local tea party groups, just go to your local gun store. They’ll tell you where they are.”

If you think Teabaggers having trouble using Google is an exaggeration, here is some proof that it is exactly what they do, featuring TarsTarkas.NET!

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Our BO is approved…by Axe Bodyspray! This time, TarsTarkas.NET is the one doing the teabagging of some teabaggers! That’s what happens when you remember the Knights Templar!

Movie News Droppings

Daredevil is getting rebooted, complete with the awesome writer of the greatest film ever, the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still! I’m so excited I could vomit! I wonder if this will get the Twilight Treatment it looks like the Spiderman franchise is getting. Teenage Daredevil, a sparkling demon sitting in class, when suddenly this ninja chick Elektra moves in and there is a love triangle with werewolf Bullseye…

The Stretch Armstrong movie has found it’s Stretch Armstrong, Twilight werewolf boy Taylor Lautner! And it will be in 3-D.

AICN is reporting Tron Legacy (aka Tron 2) may be the first of several more Tron stuff, including a TV series and a third film. Assuming it doesn’t Tron tank at the box office.

The Asylum’s trailer for their Sherlock Holmes mockbuster is up, watch as Holmes and Watson fight giant monsters and Spring Heeled Jack (played by Enterprise regular Dominic Keating) Thanks to Avery for the link

Foywonder has up the 8th Foycast (complete with the worst DTV horror of 2009), as well as the February Foyeruism. Suggested listening and reading!

Takashi Miike’s upcoming Zebraman 2 is getting a spin-off as well! Revenge of the Zebra Miniskirt Police! Seriously. And the three actresses won their roles thanks to a tv show contest, according to a commentor at Twitch. Hopefully the Miike connection will keep this flick from becoming lost in the Japanese DTV sea.
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For a review of the original Zebraman, BadMovies.org put one up recently!

New Review – Golden Nun

The new review is Golden Nun, the Taiwanese flick about a female monk who is bald and also golden at certain points, and how she battles a ghost lady. And there are random songs. It’s weird, and we watched it so you don’t have to and have time to go see Avatar eight more times or something. Read it today!

Wingnut Web – Kangaroo court time on the web Edition

The cup of crazy runneth over at Resistnet.com. Thrill as Resistors call for violent overthrow of the government. Chill as the Resistors declare that speaking to Democrats is a traitorous action. Be dazzled as Resistnet turns on Sarah Palin. Watch in awe as Resistnet contracts a plague of nausea as Obama gives a speech. Complete with random multi-page rants by our new favorite crazy person, Melina. Plenty of old favorites including Gun Avatar Guy, John P., and the rest of the gang!

Gun Avatar Fuckwit #1 knows that Peaceful Resistance requires ZERO TOLERANCE and NO COMPROMISE!
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You heard it here first, Scott Brown will not be allowed to be elected senator.
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Pray against the marxist slims!
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I thought Jesus was about love, not total genocidal war…
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Tom Bergstand has respect for the dead
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How can I convince Democrats to become total crazies?
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Keep yelling crazy stuff and eventually they’ll go nuts!
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You want to try to convert people? Traitor! Death to those who wish to talk to others! My Gun avatar has spoken!
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And yet Larry & Stacy Braid can’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to be part of a group where a crazy chickenhawk fuck with guns will be screaming that they are traitors.
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The Progressives eat our country for breakfast!
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So God brainwashed America to vote for Democrats?
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The WTF? Award goes to…
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It’s a future 2010 Can’tidates entry!
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Stay classy, Resistnet.com!
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Spreme Court also threw out the spellcheck!
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So for those of you who don’t follow the Teabaggers, they HATE John McCain, and Sarah Palin announced she will help campaign with him for reelection. The Teabaggers flipped the frak out and started to turn on Sarah Palin for showing loyalty to the guy who put her on the national stage!

Gun Avatar Fuckwit #1 starts us out…
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Wanda sees through Sarah Palin now that she’s not the flavor of the month…
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RG seems unaware the Democrats that lost those elections were horrible candidates, and suffers from NY-23 amnesia
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Someone flipped Wanda’s crazy switch!
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Sarah, NOOOoooOOOoOOOOooOOO!!!!
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Wait, Mitt Romney is now the super-conservative choice?
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Melinda is deluded into thinking Sarah Palin reads Resistnet.com or has even heard of it.
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The DaVinci RINO code…
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Choose Your Own Adventure: Crazytown Express to Hell!
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Clear as inky mud!
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Melinda continues
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Obama winning an election is a war crime!
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JoanO sees Melinda’s wacky comments and joins the fun!
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Will you watch the State of the Union?
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Sick to stomach #1
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Hey, Confederate Flag Avatar!
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Sure, that will happen…
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A student of human nature
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Wall of text fun!
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How dare Obama try to make jobs?!?!?
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Sick to stomach #2 and #3 (plus others I didn’t bother to copy) along with a guy joking about how many people are getting sick!
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Sick to stomach #4 (bonus Onion action!)
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Sick to stomach #5, Sick to eyes #1
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Post-Turtle???
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Sick to stomach #6
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I am not sure of the point of this crazy fuck…
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Hey, I thought you Teabaggers were all for the Free Market? Now you want Big Government to spend your tax money on rockets to the moon?
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