Bangladesh is becoming the new Turkey. We got Banglar King Kong, and now Banglar Hulk. Just waiting for Banglar Star Wars, as it will be the greatest movie of all time. Sohel Afgani Rana directs this.
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It will be Madness!
Reefer Madness! As in, RiffTrax Live: Reefer Madness! Okay, enough with the madness stuff! So August 19th is the day the RiffTrax dudes (Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett) are going to be in theaters doing a live event broadcast across the country and even in subterranean molemen caves, but only those that have the expensive digital projection system (sorry, analog molemen cave dwellers… 🙁 ) And I’ll be there in the theaters watching, because sitting in seats and watching things is what I do best. If you are in San Fran and see me at the theater, I’ll be the guy ignoring your frantic waving, as I’m cool like that.
So I already have the Legend DVD with the colorized version of Reefer Madness and Mike Nelson commentary. And I have the Three-Riffers edition of Reefer Madness that has Mike, Kevin, and Bill giving commentary. And now I’m seeing it in the theaters. But at least many of the jokes will be new! And there is also some contest about entering your own jokes, but I usually shy away from that as user-generated jokes can be a problem at times (see the RiffTrax of Batman and Robin which is almost entirely user-generated – it’s not that good.)
But this will be cool and I will be watching it and maybe I’ll even enter that contest for the iPad if I stop being lazy.
Here is some email the RiffTrax press dude sent me, but since I was going anyway it doesn’t matter and I’m just including it to bulk up the text of the article for more Google search term matching goodness. It’s called efficient laziness.
The sarcastic wits behind cult favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 are returning to theaters across the country this August with RiffTrax Live: Reefer Madness!
On August 19th (encore August 24th) Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo) and Bill Corbett (Crow) will bring audiences to a higher state of consciousness with their signature brand of rapid-fire comedy at the expense of the 1936 exploitation film, Reefer Madness, in which California’s favorite demon weed leads children to murder, suicide and occasional fits of promiscuous dance.
Reefer Madness will be bookended by the performance of three new shorts from the RiffTrax crew, a special presentation from humor website SomethingAwful and the surprise announcement of the winners of the Reefer Madness writing contest.
Anyone who’s ever wanted to write their own RiffTrax now has the opportunity to become a writer for the live performance of Reefer Madness! Entrants should visit www.rifftrax.com/contest before August 18th, watch the ten clips of Reefer Madness and submit the best possible quip for each. Winners will be selected by Mike, Kevin and Bill, have their line included in the show and receive a writing credit.
www.fathomevents.com/comedy/event/rifftraxreeferlive.aspx
www.rifftrax.com
Parody Titles
The Hills Have Thighs. Cleavagefield. Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes. These films and many more are part of the proud tradition of softcore films with parody titles. But there is a problem is parody title land!
James “Bubba” Cromer is a guy who made a film called The Hills Have Thighs that is some sort of lame comedy film, and he saw a listing for “The Hills Have Thighs” and Cieimax at 1:30 AM. Now, only a moron doesn’t know what kind of films are airing at 1:30 AM on Cinemax, and those films rarely feature people wearing clothes. Needless to say, Cromer was in for a shock as this was not his “Thighs” but the softcore one shot by Jim Wynorski. Like any sane person, Cromer hired a lawyer and decided to sue for “extreme humiliation, mortification and emotional distress.” What a moron.
Cromer’s idiot decision has also caused the latest crop of Bikini films that Fred Olen Ray is planning to have some title trouble, as the studios are now rejecting every parody title film offered to them over the title alone. Now, Fred Olen Ray can rename the films whatever he wants on the DVD releases (and often does), but to get them on Cinemax he has to struggle to get titles approved (which is proving harder than you would think, and titles he thinks they’ll reject are getting put through, while safer titles are being send back, sometimes after being approved) Jim Wynorski has also lost sales of Paraknockers Activity based on the title.
Basically, things are a mess, and it is all Cromer’s fault because he is a giant baby. Maybe you shouldn’t have put a pun in your film title that was old when Mad Magazine used it in their James Bond parodies!
But the good news is we are getting four new Bikini films for next year, which is great and I haven’t even gotten around to seeing the five that came out this year!
As an aside, FOR made a film called Hybrid years ago, and SyFy also has an original movie called Hybrid, that whenever it airs uses the description of Ray’s film in place of the newer one. So, SyFy, you are on notice!
Blackstar Warrior
New Review – Makin
The new review is Makin, a Thai softcore vampire film that is cheaper than a McDonalds minimeal and leaves you less satisfied. In fact, a McDonalds minimeal sounds pretty good right now, except for the fact that McDonalds is outside and I am lazy. So I guess I’ll eat this salad we have at home. Needs more Russian dressing…
Oh, Makin sucks, but at least we got lots of photos and a movie clip! Read it today! And bring by some McNuggets if you’re stopping by…too lazy to go to out!
If hot stars were blackened
This got posted on a Chinese news site because China news knows little about the history of race relations in America and won’t get how this is pretty ridiculous. And totally racist because they made them ugly as sin. But now you can see all your favorite stars…If They Were Black!
Being Black apparently means you have a giant nose, giant lips, and dark skin. Even if your lips are already huge, now they are huger. And everyone looks hideous. Avert your eyes, and your stomachs.
Kristen Stewart – It’s crazy seeing this pale ghost of a woman even have a slight tan, much less the horror we have here.
Lady Gaga – of all the celebrities, I expect this to be an actual Lady Gaga look one day.
Angelina Jolie – Lips….bigger…cannot…contain…lips….
Megan Fox – And yet, still not as racist as the actual Transformers movies
Jennifer Aniston – Finally, we got black people on Friends! Except she doesn’t really look black.
Brad Pitt – the lone man to get the “treatment”, Brad Pitt is now oranger than an Oompah Loompah.
Madonna – Like a Black Virgin
Scarlett Johansson – Someone took “Black Widow” a little too literal…
Shakira – They Blackified someone who isn’t white???
Notice how no Asian celebrity got Blackified…