The Eighteen Jade Arhats (Review)

The Eighteen Jade Arhats

aka Shi ba yu luo han

1979
Directed by Cheung Git

The Eighteen Jade Arhats goes by many many many titles besides its original Shi ba yu luo han. You might find in on video under titles such as Eighteen Claws of Shaolin, Eighteen Deadly Arhats, or The Eighteen Jade Pearls. We’re watching a widescreen print released somewhere that speaks Spanish, where the film was titled Bruce Le y El Secreto del Saolin. Someone overlayed the widescreen print with the English dubjub by that company that dubbed hundreds of Kung Fu films (so you’d recognize many of the voices.) Why would we watch such a weird hybrid? Because, at the time, it was the best way to see it. It might still be, I haven’t kept up with the latest DVD releases of 18 Jade Arhats, but I don’t know if there is a good widescreen print in English or Chinese.

My first experience with the film was still pictures from the book Deadly China Dolls that featured Polly Shang Kuan battling some sort of multi-armed statue. That was awesome so the film jumped way ahead in my search queue. Too bad for me the actual statue fighting happens for less than a few seconds, and is just a flashback and an immobile statue.

Director Cheung Git only directed two other films, and I haven’t seen them, so I can’t tell if this is a typical Cheung Git film. Maybe one day…

“What the hell is an “arhat”?” I hear you asking. Well, guy who can’t use Google, an arhat signifies a spiritual practitioner who has realized certain high stages of attainment. The Chinese word for arhat can be written as “Lo Han” which become Lohan when subtitle people are at work. And thus, the Lindsay Lohan jokes that will be in the film, because if I don’t do it some commentor will. But now I probably will prevent all potential comments! That’s what I get for shooting myself in the foot…

Polly Shang Kuan is awesome enough we’ll give her a better biography when reviews of some of her weirder films are completed. As the time of this reviews publication, there are four other films of hers in my review pipeline, showing how I just get reviews 90% done and then wander off to watch something else. She was a queen of action cinema during her day, and some of her films are too awesome for words and are just experiences you have to have.

Sing Pei Pei (Polly Shang Kuan Lingfeng) – Sing Pei Pei is in search of the 18 jade arhats/Lohans that we stolen from her family, and the thief murdered her entire family. She gets involved in the search for a killer because it will lead her to the man who killed her family.
Kung Chin Ya (Lee Jan-wa) – Kung Chin Ya is a guy who wanders around China getting into adventures or something. He really has no real motive except he wanders around. I guess he’s out to fight for justice or something, but it’s not like he says it. It is more like he’s just running around slicing up bad guys because it is more exciting than making noodles.
Hu Ying Pao (Lo Lieh) – The accused murderer of Wong Chun Wei, who is innocent and eventually proves his innocence when people try to kill him to silence him. Lo Lieh was previously seen here in Lady Iron Monkey
Wong Chun Wei (Chang Yi) – He’s dead, so most of the film is people trying to figure out who killed them. Boy are they wasting their time! Uh.., SPOILERS! Chang Yi was one of the baddies in The Thrilling Sword.

Godzilla vs Japanese Whalers

Godzilla has returned to kick some whaler butt! Actually, Godzilla is the name of a new boat of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, who spar with Japanese whalers in the open ocean. Last year, the Japanese whalers repeatedly rammed one of the Sea Shepherd vessels and it was ruined. Hopefully Godzilla kicks some whaler butt! And you gotta point out the irony of a Japanese monster being used in a campaign against Japanese whaling.


via

War God

Joint Podcast – TarsTarkas.NET and 4DK discuss Taiwanese Giant Monster Films – Part 2

And now we have Part 2 of the joint podcast from TarsTarkas.NET and 4DK about Taiwanese giant monster films. Join Tars from TarsTarkas.NET and Todd from Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill! as we discuss how annoying flying Taiwanese children are a threat to the very existence of giant monsters in Taiwan, as well as Taiwanese films that don’t fit into neat categories. Only one of the films mentioned this time are impossible for you to see at the moment, the rest are just highly difficult to locate!

You can download the mp3 here (right-click, save-as) or just watch the flash version where I threw together some images to go along with what is discussed and even remembered to have an opening title card!

Movies discussed include:
Dwarf Sorcerer
Flyer of Young Prodigal
Young Flying Hero
Boy and a Magic Box
War God
Thrilling Sword – Tars Review4DK Review
Merciful Buddha
Monkey War
Phantom Magic Peach Blossom
Legend of Mother Goddess

The joint podcast will continue soon! It will definitely be better technically with less random noises and clearer microphones. We might even have a title for it by next time…

Part One is located here

War God

Have yourself a creepy little Christmas…

Nutcracker 3D must be the creepiest non-Robert Zemeckis Christmas film for children in years. Rat Kings, Monkey Men, Nazis, Wooden Boys, horrible British accents, Nathan Lane as Albert Einstein, steampunk gliders, a random black kid with dreadlocks in 17th century England, a creepy Fanning sibling, walking helicopters, and 3D. Nutcracker 3D, it’s creep-tastic!

Banglar Hero

Banglar Hero (Review)

Banglar Hero


1989
Directed and Produced by Ahmmad Nasir

It’s time to crack open a big can of Bangladeshi cinema!

Bangladesh was once part of Pakistan, known as East Pakistan (and Pakistan was part of India under the British…) but a civil war in 1971 got them their independence. Bangladesh is a Muslim country, and due to close cultural ties with both Pakistan and India, Bangladeshi cinema resembles both of the neighbors. We have strong he-man characters with mustaches yelling at each other like Pakistani cinema. From India, we have songs, dances, and tragedy happening to the hero.

Bangladeshi cinema is based out of the city of Dharka, and thus is known as Dhallywood, because every region needs its own “-ollywood”! There is also Bangladeshi cinema produced in India for the large Banglar population there, based out of the West Bengal city of Kolkata, and known as Tollywood. This was actually not only the first Tollywood, but the first “-ollywood” as it is a play on the neighborhood of Tollygunge in Kolkata where many of the movie studios were located in 1932. Blame Wilford E. Deming of American Cinematographer for all these “-ollywood”s you can’t keep straight!

Banglar Cinema was already going strong under Pakistani rule, but after independence production exploded. But by the time the 1980s were in full swing, Banglar films were on the decline. Now, with increased competition from TV and satellite shows, Banglar cinema has more problems than ever. But it also has undergone a rebirth, with the latter half of the 2000s producing a lot of new films and new talents. Where will these talents take Banglar film in the 2010s? We shall find out as you do.

In what is sadly common in a lot of foreign vcds, the vcd company advertises their name throughout the film. In addition, they seem to either be covering up a previous company’s logo because they took over the distribution rights OR they are straight bootlegging it. So we got annoying logos pasted over annoying logos with annoying scrolling text pasted over annoying scrolling text. The key word is annoying. This is pretty darn common in vcd releases from the region, because deluxe edition DVD boxed sets with director’s commentaries and lame behind the scenes extras are not the economic model of cinema in many countries. Pumping out dozens of films a year as fast as possible for theatrical run and then saturating the area with vcds making sure everyone knows that Famous Person is the star is the way to go.

How ’bout that scrolling text graphic?

Inspector Abu, the Banglar hero, is played by a guy named Manna. Manna was born SM Aslam Talukder in 1964 and entered acting at age 20 under the name Manna. Over his lifetime, Manna acted in over 350 movies and became one of the biggest names in the industry. As General Secretary of the Bangladesh Film Actors Association, he lead efforts to reduce vulgarity in Banglar cinema. He died in 2008 of a heart attack, probably from the stress involved in ripping off yet another guy’s arm.

I am pretty sure that Dr. Masutke is played by Omor Shani (aka Omar Sani) – who is married to Mousumi who probably played the sister Asti. I am not 100% positive, partially because there are very few good pictures of Omar Sani online, and in the ones that are, Omar has changed his weight and look considerably. At some point it looks like he wanted to try out for a Nutty Professor The Klumps sequel, not realizing it was all makeup on Eddie Murphy. But I guess he kept the local restaurant industry afloat…

I found even less information on director/producer Ahmmad Nasir. Besides a few references to this film, there is nothing out there at all in English.

Inspector Abu (Manna) – The Banglar Hero himself! Inspector Abu is the baddest cop in the universe whose chief takes him off so many cases even the chief can’t keep up on the paperwork. Inspector Abu rips off arms, beats up thugs, guns down criminals, dresses as a clown, lobbies for immigration reform, gets most of his loved ones killed, and spends half of his life in jail. He’s sure, he’s soon, and he’s larger than life.
Dr. Masutke (Omor Shani aka Omar Sani) – Dr. Masutke is dating Abu’s sister Asti and will soon join the family. Except for when he lies against Abu in court then is gunned down protecting Abu. His name is a guess but it is very close to what they are saying.
Salma (???) – The wife of Inspector Abu, who tries to play tricks on her husband from time to time when she isn’t selling her organs to get her husband out of jail.
Asti (Mousumi) – Sister to Inspector Abu and engaged to be married to Dr. Masutke. Until Dr. Masutke’s untimely demise. Her name is a guess like all the rest
Daughter (???) – Inspector Abu’s young daughter who becomes a target of the bad guys after her mother dies.
Tubby Buddy (???) – Tubby Buddy is Abu’s one friend on the force who isn’t a corrupt jerk. But since Tubby Buddy can’t kick lots of butt, he has to suffer under the weight of all his corrupt bosses and try to help Abu when he can. Tubby Buddy is probably played by a famous Banglar comedian but I can’t figure out who he is.
Evil Dude (???) – The evil dude is probably played by a guy who plays a lot of evil dudes in Banglar cinema, but I don’t know who he is. But he sure is evil!
Corrupt Cop (???) – Abu’s boss is on the take, and is perfectly happy to have Evil Dude terrorizing the neighborhood. Abu just keeps ruining his plans!