Sure, there’s already a live-action Ben 10, but it’s a Cartoon Channel made for tv movie. This will be a live action big screen adaptation on par with The Last Airbender, so you know it’s gonna be good! For those of you who don’t watch cartoons, Ben 10 is about this kid who find an alien device called the Omnitrix that lets him turn into 10 different alien shapes. And now Joel Silver will be bringing it to the big screen so boys everywhere have a new movie to beg their parents to take them to.
Q: Do you want to be an alien?
A: No, I’ve been ten.
If you are my age, then you probably saw Killer Klowns from Outer Space 1 million times during the day on HBO and Cinemax while you were growing up, fueling your love for craptacularly awesome films. You might even have rocked out to the Killer Klowns of Outer Space song by The Dickies. And now, a whole new generation can experience the magic of Killer Klowns, who come from outer space and turn people into cotton candy snackbags.
Grant Cramer will return as Mike Tobacco, and the Chiodo Brothers will be involved in the special effects work again
Only the puppies die (sad true story from the set of Snow Buddies) but the Spooky Buddies are here, to fight ghosts or something ghostly along with the Halloween Hound. So you know it will be awesome if they’re bringing out the Halloween Hound. He’s totally famous! Harland Williams (Surf School) stars, with Jennifer Elise Cox (Brady Bunch) and a bunch of kids you haven’t heard of unless you have kids or are creepy.
Bauhinia Heroine is a real life super hero who dresses in costume and gives money to the poor, highlighting the growing wealth gap in China. The actual identity of Bauhinia woman is unknown, but her methods have attracted the attention of 3D Sex and Zen filmmmaker Stephen Shiu Jr, who will be making a film about her with Chrissie Chau playing the superheroine. No decision has been reached on if it will be in 3D, but it will be an action film and there will be other masked characters.
As reported by WantChinaTimes, Bauhinia Woman first appeared in mid-May, giving HK$100(US$12.86) and food to 10 poor families. She has continued her efforts as her popularity exploded on the internet, because this is the kind of stuff the internet loves. Bauhinia Woman admits to being inspired by Kick-Ass (finally something good about that movie) and the classic heroine character Black Rose (see our in-depth reviews of the Black Rose films here and here), which is why she named herself after the flower that represents Hong Kong (bauhinia, for those of you unaware of what I am talking about)
King Kong is back again, this time in animated form (again), in a new film which will be done from the point of view of King Kong. I don’t know if this is the evolution of the long-rumored King of Skull Island project. The story is based on Mike Weber’s story (he’s producing) and is coming out of the Fox Animation studio.
A History of Kong movies/shows:
King Kong – The original and still the best (1933)
Son of Kong – a quick followup made late the same year
Wasei Kingu Kongu – a lost 1933 Japanese cash-in on King Kong
King Kong Appears in Edo – a lost film from Japan featuring a giant ape attacking Edo from 1938
Animated musical The Mighty Kong 1998 (where Kong survives falling off the Empire State Building)
King Kong fought Godzilla in 1962’s King Kong vs Godzilla
The King Kong Show – a 1966 cartoon series that also became inspiration for King Kong Escapes
King Kong Escapes is the live action film where Kong fights his robot duplicate
King Kong – Dino De Laurentiis’s 1976 big budget remake with a giant King Kong mockup and a climatic battle on the twin towers
King Kong Lives followed up ten years later in 1986
1998 gave us the animated musical The Mighty Kong
Kong: The Animated Series was an official animated series in 2001
Peter Jackson remade King Kong in 2005, which was twice as long as the original despite following the same plot and time period
2005’s Kong: King of Atlantis was an animated movie based on the 2001 series made to cash in on Peter Jackson’s film.
Kong: Return to the Jungle was the 2006 follow up to Kong: King of Atlantis
The Life Zone is the latest magnum opus from New Jersey state Senate candidate and ex-judge Kenneth Del Vecchio (O.B.A.M. Nude), this time it is a cross between Saw, The Twilight Zone, and mental illness. Real mental illness, not a movie called “Mental Illness”.
The plot involves three pregnant women kidnapped from abortion clinics who wake up in a jail, the only other person there is their jailer Robert Loggia who shows up via video, and a female obstetrician who will deliver their babies whether they want to or not. The women are forced to discuss their pregnancies as an “abortion thinktank”, while at night they are tortured by bad dreams – along with the doctor, who has flashbacks to her own marriage dissolving after she was barren.
As detailed in this review from NJ.com, eventually 2 of the women accept their pregnancies and become pro-life, while the last one tries to force a miscarriage. At the end, she’s forced to deliver twins, while the other two women each get one baby.
Then things get really fucked up:
Later, Staci wakes up. The two new mothers are no longer captives, they’ve presumably ascended to heaven with their babies. It’s revealed all along the women had been in Purgatory, after having died on the operating table of abortion clinics. But because Staci attempted to miscarry even after a second chance at motherhood, and because she never accepted the error of her ways until she experienced the physical joy of giving birth, of seeing her children for the first time, she will be doomed to eternity in Hell.
Loggia is Satan and he informs Staci she will spend all eternity in a cycle of pregnancy and childbirth and Dr. Wise will forever be her doctor, as the movie’s final twist plays out: Wise too will spend eternity in Hell. She was so weak she committed suicide when her marriage collapsed and must suffer the fate of forever bringing life into the world, endlessly having to appreciate what she did not value on Earth.
That’s right, have an abortion, and Satan will make sure you are continually raped and forced to give birth to babies for eternity, no matter what you want, because that’s all you women are good for. Satan is pro-life, and unless you learn that getting raped and being forced to have a baby is totally awesome, Satan will rape you forever because you didn’t learn that lesson. Rape is moral, because if you accept this rape you enjoy its blessing (a baby) and go to Heaven. This film is remarkably pro-Satan, and the only escape from Satan is to accept what he is doing is right.
In case you haven’t figured out what a nut Del Vecchio is, check out his take on the message of the film:
Del Vecchio added, though he was quick to note he still felt the film’s presentation of the issues was balanced. “I think the audience will walk away not knowing what the filmmaker’s position is, it gives both sides of the coin.”
I’d hate to see what he thought a one-sided anti-choice movie was, but it would probably just be Del Vecchio stabbing people with a coat hanger.
