March of Godzilla: Godman

March of Godzilla Godman
The new March of Godzilla is here! And like most prior Marches of Godzilla, it is late as heck! March, Smarch, 2015, 2016, Godzilla stomps when he darn well pleases! And also like several other Marches of Godzilla, there is a theme to this March:

SOS SOS SOS GODMAN! Godman is here to murder monsters and also violently kill them dead. If you are unfamiliar with Godman, star of the television series Go! Godman (行け!ゴッドマンIke! Goddoman), then you are not alone, so please enjoy the gigantic dump of Godman information.

Our interest in Ike! Godman is purely professional – several Godzilla-related kaiju suits were used on the show, the suits usually credited as the actual Godzilla-related monster. So that makes Godman (and fellow show Ike! Greenman) technically part of the Toho monster universe, even if the series is largely disowned by Toho and regularly condemned as the worst tokusatsu show of all time.

The complaints are not an exaggeration, Ike Godman is TERRIBLE! The basic series runs like this: One or more annoying children are menaced by a monster (often because they provoke it), they scream for Godman, who then flies in and fights the monster for several episodes until he brutally murders it. That’s the entire show. Ike Godman was meant to be digested in tiny chunks every day, and not the binge-watching approach we are attempting. But… YUCK! Getting through these shows was a slog. There was a reason I took a far too long break before finishing up writing about them! (And then I need to do the whole thing over again with Go! Greenman!)

We’ll have plenty of screencaps posted so those jerkwads at the Godzilla wiki can then steal them without attribution like they’ve done so often before to me and other sites. Fuck the Godzilla Wiki. I’ll also borrow photos from other sites that have some pics of the monsters of episodes that aren’t available, but I’ll list my sources, unlike the previously mentioned terrible site of terrible people who are terrible.

Godman himself is a piece of work. He’s silver and red, with long flowing hair (partially hidden behind his red mask) that is rather unique in the tokusatsu hero world. Godman wears a red spandex body pajama with an outside filthy silver diaper, and booties and gloves. Godman is also big at promoting his own brand, with a big “G” imprinted on his belt buckle, boot buckles (actually golden rings), and wrists. Too bad there is another more famous giant creature whose name begins with G that already has that “G” brand sewn up, guy! Godman came to Earth from the Fire God Star, which means there might be a whole planet of Godmen out there punching all sorts of poor monsters. Why can’t the Garogas from Zone Fighter blow up Fire God Star? Get with the program, lazy Garogas!

Godman has a bunch of powers. He can fly and change his height in order to fight gigantic monsters. The height-changing is powered by the G-emblazoned golden rings on his shoes, which occasionally are removed because Godman is too cheap to go to the jewelers and get them fitted properly. Like all tokusatsu, Godman has a bunch of special moves that he does by calling out their name. They include: God-Circle, which is Godman’s Tron disc that explodes. God-Spark, which is explosive finger sparkles. God-Crush, which is Godman’s flail that he uses on monsters to redirect their attack back to them. God-Acid, which is special acid that comes from Godman’s hand. God-Shower, which is a gross-sounding water attack. Godman Supersonic Wave, which is when Godman fires a swirl from his chest that brutally murders his opponents. Godman totally stole that last attack from Yars’ Revenge, despite that video game not even being invented yet!

The episodes of Ike! Godman on the DVD set are out of order, many of them are just partial episodes, and some are completely missing. We’ll be posting them in the order that they originally aired, the one true order! I’ve also found some of the missing episodes thanks to the magic of the internet, but was unable to locate every missing piece. There are also no subtitles, but at TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles! It’s not like many of these episodes even have dialogue, so that’s no big loss. We’ll have a nice Godman Splash Page with all your Godman needs, in case you somehow have needs about Godman. That page will mainly be useful as a kaiju guide, Godman powers guide, and episode guide. Guide guide guide.

Let’s launch March of Godzilla: Godman with the goddest man of all, Godman! Bring on the kaiju!

Ike! Godman Splash Page
Godman vs. Gabara (ゴッドマン対ガバラ その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Gabara (October 12 – 18, 1972)
Godman vs. Yasugon and Tsunoterah (ゴッドマン対ヤスゴン その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Yasugon – Tsunokeraa (October 26 – November 1, 1972)
Godman vs. Tsunosilver (ゴッドマン対ツノシルバー その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Tsunoshirubaa (November 2 – 8, 1972)
Godman vs. Gorosaurus (ゴッドマン対ゴロザウルス その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Gorozaurusu (November 9 – 15, 1972)
Godman vs. Kamoebas and Folgon (ゴッドマン対カメーバフォルゴン その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Kameeba – Forugon (December 7 – 13, 1972)
Godman vs. Dongolar (ゴッドマン対ドンゴラー その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Dongoraa (January 11 – 17, 1973)
Godman vs. Skeleton Man No.1 and Skeleton Man No.2 (ゴッドマン対スケルトマンNo.1・スケルトマンNo.2 その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Sukerutoman No.1 – Sukerutoman No.2 (January 18 – 24, 1973)
Godman vs. Sanda (ゴッドマン対サンダ その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Sanda (January 25 – 31, 1973)
Godman vs. Gaira (ゴッドマン対ガイラ その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Gaira (February 1 – 7, 1973)
Godman vs. Green-Mask (ゴッドマン対グリーンマスク その1 – その3) Goddoman Tai Geriinmasuku (February 15 – 21, 1973)
Godman vs. Bat-Man (ゴッドマン対バットマン その1 – その3) Goddoman Tai Battoman (February 22 – 28, 1973)
Godman vs. Tsunojiras (ゴッドマン対オストタム その1 – その3) Goddoman Tai Tsunojirasu (March 8 – 14, 1973)
Godman vs. Totsaurus (ゴッドマン対トットザウルス その1 – その3) Goddoman Tai Tottozaurusu (March 15 – 21, 1973)
Godman vs. Stegojiras and Akumon (ゴッドマン対ステゴジラス・アクモン その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Sutegojirasu – Akumon (April 5 – 11, 1973)

Shin Godzilla aka シン・ゴジラ aka Godzilla Resurgence

Bat-man-vs godman

Malibu's Most Wanted Guest

Unwanted Guest barges into Lifetime!

Malibu's Most Wanted Guest

Unwanted Guest brings that classic story of when you brought your friend home from college only to find out she has a split personality and wants to seduce your father and murder your mother. I mean, we all had that problem at one time or another, and now we can all relive the fond memories with our new Lifetime family!

Although the semester has come to an end, Christine is anything but affable: On the last night of school one of her classmates is found dead on campus, and the police have no suspects in custody. Although her friend Amy was planning to remain on campus for the break, with such an emotional tragedy at hand Christine determines that she should spend the holiday at her home. It’s comfortable in suburbia, but Amy is clearly one to enjoy total control. She quickly asserts herself into the family’s lives, and everyone appears infatuated with the young woman— especially Christine’s father. However, as the police begin to trace the classmate’s death back to Amy, Christine’s house too is plagued with accidents, and before long the home comes fully under Amy’s thumb. Will Christine cage the monster that’s taken her family captive, or is Amy too deadly to be stopped?

Unwanted Guest stars Beth Littleford, Kate Mansi, Ted King, Henderson Wade, and Valentina Novakovic. Oddly enough, I can’t find any other information as to who is the director or writer, and I can’t read the tiny print on the only available poster fro the film on Marvista’s site. Total mysteries are the best mysteries!

Unwanted Guest premieres Saturday, August 27th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Boy in the Attic Lifetime

Boy in the Attic creeps into Lifetime’s rafters!

Boy in the Attic Lifetime

No, he’s just…cleaning their vents. Yeah, that’s it!


Lifetime breaks out the creepy with Boy in the Attic (formally known as Secrets in the Attic), the story about a boy who secretly lives in a family’s attic, and of course the daughter falls in love with him because drama. Unlike other movies about a weirdo secretly living inside a house, this one might not be a serial killer. Maybe. He’s framed, or so he says! But is he???

The script is by Christine Conradt (from a story by Ken Sanders), which is great because she is the Queen of Lifetime Original Movies, so you know it is going to be full of ridiculous Lifetime tropes and twists!

A teen girl and her mom inherit an old house… but little do they know that a mysterious person is hiding in the attic — a teen boy who has been living there for months. When the girl finally meets the boy, she falls in love with him and agrees to keep his hiding place a secret from everyone, including her mother. But when she finds out that he has been falsely accused of murder, she must decide if she will risk everything to protect him.

Boy in the Attic is directed by Paul Shapiro (Spring Break Shark Attack) and stars Abbie Cobb (The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story), Gina Holden (I Didn’t Kill My Sister), Iain Belcher (Preggoland), and Max Lloyd-Jones (The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story). Yes, that’s right, two actors from The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story reunite and now we can warp reality and make this film into 90210 fanfic! Huzzah!

Boy in the Attic premieres Saturday, August 20th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime!

Black Gambler

The Black Gambler (Review)

The Black Gambler

aka 黒い賭博師 aka Kuroi tobakushi
Black Gambler
1965
Original Story by Toshio Nomura
Directed by Ko Nakahira (as Yasushi Nakahira)

Black Gambler
Among the lesser known Japanese 1960s film series in the West is the “Gambler Series”, thanks to it never getting any sort of proper Western release. But thanks to the magic of fan subs, the sixth entry in the franchise, Black Gambler, can now be enjoyed by those of us who track down world cinema. The films are obscure enough it is hard to find much about them in English, but basically heartthrob Akira Kobayashi is a master gambler who gets involved in various intrigues thanks to the world of gambling. Most of them are unconnected besides the title and gambling theme, and there were eight in total. I’m not sure if every entry involves international spies and revenge by gambling, but I can guarantee this is the only 1960s Japanese gambling movie where the master villain is a Jewish gambler who used his gambling money to fund the Nazis in World War 2. I’m not even sure where to begin with that revelation, except to laugh out loud like I did when it was announced. As usual, the international gang of goons go up against the cool and suave Japanese hero, and let’s just say you should always bet on Akira Kobayashi (sorry, Wesley Snipes, pay your taxes and maybe we’ll bet on you again!)
Black Gambler
At this point, Akira Kobayashi was more of a lone wolf bad boy, but here he is also a suave playboy gambler, which means he got to stretch his acting muscles a bit. Director Ko Nakahira/Yasushi Nakahira is probably best known in the west for Crazed Fruit, Summer Heat (basically a remake of Crazed Fruit he directed for Shaw Brothers), and the first two Rica films. He was yet another director who had trouble with Nikkatsu’s restrictions on creativity, thus leading to his split from the studio and directing film in Hong Kong under the name Yang Su Hsi.
Black Gambler

Assassination

Assassination (Review)

Assassination

aka 암살 aka Amsal
Assassination
2015
Written by Choi Dong-hoon and Lee Ki-cheol
Directed by Choi Dong-hoon

Assassination
Despite the years of ups and downs, South Korea cinema continues to deliver great films, even if it isn’t at the breakneck pace that it once had. And deliver Assassination does, giving us a great wartime espionage tale with a core group of interesting players to follow. Characters battle and scheme, motivated by their honor, for some the honor of appearing strong and powerful more alluring than the actuality.

Assassination wins not because of the action sequences of the story of a ragtag group of unlikely heroes battling against a gigantic evil Empire, but because of the scenes of characters interacting. A heroic sniper, bounty hunters with consciences, and traitors that put their own power above their nation and peoples’ survival battling it out is well and good, but I’m going to remember Ahn Ok-yun sitting in a diner next to Hawaii Pistol where they concoct a fantasy of being a couple in order to evade detection by the Japanese army. Or Hawaii Pistol recounting how he killed his own father and wanting to spare Ahn Ok-yun the same fate. Or a traitor wiping out anyone who threatens to expose him because of he doesn’t want to die. The little bits in the larger whole where characters switch from the stereotypes you think they are to fully fleshed out beings.

Assassination spins its web of spies and intrigue before setting up the next big action scene that causes the surviving players to shuffle around and prepare for the next web. Choi Dong-hoon was best known for his heist films, including the international hit The Thieves, and while Assassination is a different genre, it still has the large cast and multiple story angles all coming together. It even follows some of the same story beats, with a mid-movie action sequence (or heist) that everything was working up towards, but it turns out it was just the beginning of the second half of the film with a smaller but larger staked sequence to follow.
Assassination

Indiscretion movie Lifetime

Indiscretion gets busted on Lifetime!

Indiscretion movie Lifetime

Isn’t it just like a typical man to be waiting in your car smoking while you don’t notice he’s sitting back there because you are blind?


Don’t you hate it when you are a politician’s wife and your affair suddenly turns into a dangerous stalker situation that threatens to destroy everything? Lifetime has heard your pain and given us Indiscretion, in which Mira Sorvino deals with the struggle we all go through!

In director John Stewart Muller’s steamy and stylish psychological thriller, Mira Sorvino stars as Veronica, a politician’s wife whose brief affair with a troubled young artist comes back to haunt her when he begins to infiltrate every part of her life. While her husband and daughter are away, New Orleans psychiatrist Veronica Simon enjoys a weekend fling with Victor (Christopher Backus), an alluring young sculptor. But after Veronica calls off the affair, Victor refuses to let go and will stop at nothing to have Veronica for himself. Just how far will Victor go to get what he wants, and is there anything Veronica can do to stop his mad obsession before it destroys her family?

Indiscretion stars Mira Sorvino, Cary Elwes, Christopher Backus, Katherine McNamara, LisaGay Hamilton, and Melora Walters. It is directed by John Stewart Muller (Fling) and written by Laura Boersma (Fling) and John Stewart Muller.

Indiscretion premieres Saturday, July 23rd on Lifetime!

via Lifetime