Uwe Boll attempts to ruin films made before he was born

We normally don’t talk about Uwe Boll anymore, because, fuck Uwe Boll. But this latest news is the kind of news you don’t want to hear, because it can do nothing but spread and ruin things faster. It seems Uwe Boll is partnering up with a production company that is converting Charlie Chaplin films into 3D. This is horrific, terrible, and awful. And also bad. The 3D gimmick needs to die again, and die hard. Someone call Bruce Willis to blow it the fuck up before Boll gets his Nazi gold hands on The Great Dictator! Currently, they’ve already done Chaplin 3D – Little Tramp´s Adventure
Uwe Boll
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Editor’s note: Uwe Boll is not entirely financed by Nazi Gold.

Almighty Thor – Discount Puppet Explosion 411 – Episode 110

It’s Discount Puppet Explosion 411! Two teams battle to review B-movies.

In this episode, Team Bastards deals with Thor. Not the big budget Thor that was boring and bland, but the low-rent Thor that has guns and whines all the time. But there’s dinosaurs! And giant dogs! And Richard Grieco! And some chick! Will Whiny Thor make Team Bastards declare war against Thursdays? Find out!

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Prior episodes

Haywire Trailer


Gina Carano kicks all sorts of butt for 90 minutes. I’m there, dude!

Also starring Bill Paxton, Ewan McGregor, Channing Tatum, Michael Angarano, Michael Fassbender, Michael Douglas, and Antonio Banderas. Steven Soderbergh directs.
Gina Carano

Popeye and Baywatch movies are meant to be together!

So two of the scribes of The Smurfs – Jay Scherick and David Ronn – are writing more movies, including the upcoming animated Popeye film, and the rumored Baywatch movies (which they’ve completed the script.) No word on what happens in the Baywatch movie, or if it is connected to Popeye in some sort of weird way. But i can’t really see Olive Oyl running on the beach in a red swimsuit, because she doesn’t have the equipment required. They’re also writing Smurfs 2: The Smurf of Smurf’s Smurf.
Popeye Olive Oyl

Take this, Altman!


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pic via

Ghana drama

Thanks to our recent series on Ghanaian film (Abro Ne Bayie 1, Abro Ne Bayie 2, and Ghanaian Video Tales), we’ve learned a lot about Ghanaian film. And here are some recent Ghanaian film news stories that you need to know about.

Two movie producers in the city of Kumasi, (home to the Twi movie industry) are fighting over who will be the first to produce a movie called Osama bin Laden.

A fetish priest is demanding four red dogs, four red cats, four red goats, and four red fowls from the producer of the movie Diawuo, to pacify his gods, because a fetish priest in the film has the same last name as him.

The rest of the stories all concern director/producer Socrates Sarfo, whose name keeps popping up whenever I research anything about Ghanaian film. Socrates is nicknamed “Hot Fork Man”, probably because he had a sex film called Hot Fork. Socrates Sarfo has gotten into arguments with the censorship board over the difference between erotic films and porno films.

Socreates Sarto shaved the pubic hair of one of his actresses in What Sex Can Do because she wasn’t doing it interestingly enough. This has led to problems on the release of the film.

Socrates Sarfo may or may not have pulled a gun on actress Mercy Asiedu over the title of his film Greedy Bastards. But he at least got into a fight, which caused a court date.

And my favorite story, Socrates Sarfo may be collecting the sperm of actors for juju! You might think this story sounds crazy, but this is Socrates Sarfo, and anything is possible!

Socrates Sarfo

Gimme your sperms!

Edison Chen dated 16 year old model Cammi Xie

Edison Chen just can’t stay out of trouble. Word is the 31 year old Chen dated a 16 year old model named Cammi Xie Zhuhui. And by word, I mean photos of them kissing turned up online! You would think by now Edison would have better sense than to take controversial photos of him and girls! Both now insist that they are no longer dating.

Cammi Xie is trying to claim she didn’t know anything about the scandal because she’s too young. That’s totally believable, except for the fact that it isn’t. The Edison Chen scandal/Sexy Photos Gate was the biggest story out of Hong Kong that year, and is still brought up all the freaking time today.

Of course, Cammi (a member of the model group Fantasy) is no stranger to weird fame, as she originally made headlines in August when a male model got her drunk and tried to rape her. Someone keep this girl away from every male ever!

More info:

Edison has also spoken about the photos and revealed he split from Vincy, his girlfriend of 5 years, “I had mixed feelings after reading the reports. I broke up with Vincy Yang about six months ago. I felt horrible about falling out of love. When I met Cammi, I thought we could give it a try. We had just begun our relationship when [the leaking of the photo] happened. I’ve nothing more to say, other than I’m currently single. ”

Cammi’s management believes the photos were leaked from her phone, which she lost last Thursday. The photos have gone viral since the leak, though (thankfully) none of them are of a sexually explicit nature.

And let’s hear it for scandal with this quote:

“I didn’t have sex with him! I’m only 16,” Cammi shouted.

Ah, respectable journalism (says the guy talking about this scandal for cheap web hits!)

Here are the photos of Edison and Cammi, along with some random Cammi Xie photos:
Edison Chen Cammi Xie
Edison Chen Cammi Xie
Edison Chen Cammi Xie
Edison Chen Cammi Xie
Edison Chen Cammi Xie
Cammie Xie Zhuhui
Cammie Xie Zhuhui
Cammie Xie Zhuhui
Cammie Xie Zhuhui
Cammie Xie Zhuhui
Cammie Xie Zhuhui
Cammie Xie Zhuhui