Chucky returns from doll death to kill kill kill once again! And it’s the real Chucky, not that remake talk that hasn’t been heard of since the original announcement. No clue on if it is dead now or not (at times there were talks of both remakes and sequels being developed), but that’s doesn’t matter because we got old school Chucky. We’re dropping the wife and kid for Curse of Chucky, going back to the old school roots. To reinforce that, series creator Don Mancini will write and direct and Brad Dourif will be back as the voice of Chucky. The focus will be on making the series scary again.
The plot:
Chucky arrives to wreck havoc within a family that’s regrouped for a funeral. In the wake of her mother’s passing, a young woman – in a wheelchair since birth – is forced to put up with her sister, brother-in-law, niece and their nanny as they say their goodbyes to mother. When people start turning up dead, the fearless Nica discovers the culprit might be a “strange doll” she was sent a couple of days earlier.
Sounds like this will be a good, fun, violent time!
Amazing is so amazing, it is amazing. South Korea, China (via the Shanghai Film Group), and the NBA team up to give us a film that could only be made by amazing people. The amazing Amazing features real NBA stars interacting in a virtual world playing basketball. Carmelo Anthony, Dwight Howard, Scottie Pippen, Magic Johnson, Yi Jianlian, and Wang Zhizhi will go all B-ball on T-ron in the virtual world video game Basketball Revolution. The Basketball Revolution game is also being reported as “The Sixth Sense” in some news reports, which is alwo weird. So who knows what the final name will be. Kim Ah-Jung plays one of the creaters of the game, and Huang Xiao-Ming plays her boyfriend, both of whom are drawn into the Tron Basketball drama. Because it is dramaful. Eric Mabius from Ugly Betty also joins the drama, because basketball, fools! Sherwood Hu Xue-Hua directs.
The original plot for Amazing was told to the press as “a basketball-themed movie about young people achieving their dreams through hard work.” Um, yeah. I guess they forgot to mention the whole virtual reality thing!
But no write-up can match the ridiculousness of the trailer. You need to see the trailer above. Need to see it.
Here’s another trailer that gets smart and shows less of the Tron action:
Naked Soldier (which we’ve written about before) has been pushed back again and again to the point where it is a mystery to everyone when the film will come out. But that mystery might be close to being solved when current rumors pinpoint the release date as July. Just when in July is not clear, nor how wide the release will be. What is clear from the trailer is Marco Mak saw Naked Weapon and thought that was far better to base the film on than Naked Killer. This is sad, and makes me wonder if Marco Mak has some sort of substance abuse problem, because only drugs of the highest caliber could explain Naked Weapon being held to a higher regard than Naked Killer.
You might think that means we won’t bother watching this once it pops up at DVD stores in Chinatown. You couldn’t be more wrong, for Jiang Luxia is in this and we’ll watch whatever awful film she’s in just to support one of the few actual female martial artists in Hong Kong cinema.
The plot:
Interpol agent CK Long busted a billion-dollar drug deal fifteen years ago. The cartel has avenged itself by hiring Madame Rose’s organization of assassins to kill CK Long’s entire family. Long himself survives and believes his young daughter is still alive. In fact, for these fifteen years, the girl has been kidnapped by Madame Rose, brainwashed and trained into beautiful, sexy killer Phoenix.
Phoenix has now become the top-ranked killer in Madame Rose’s organization. She is skilled in combat and always completes her missions. Thanks to her band of killers Madame Rose has expanded her criminal organization and now assigns missions in many parts of the world. CK Long has never imagined that he would one day become the target of his own daughter’s mission.
We got some Monsters news from two Monsters movies, thus I’m combining them in one entry as it makes life easier to clear up the backlog.
First up, do you remember that found footage movie Monsters that was sort of interesting but ultimately went nowhere? Well, it’s getting a sequel. Gareth Edwards is off doing the Godzilla movie and some other stuff, so there’s a new writer and director and title. Monsters: The Dark Continent will feature “a teacher living outside the walled quaratined zone in Central America and his brother whom he ventures into the region to find—a former military man who has become a figure akin to APOCALYPSE NOW’s Colonel Kurtz.” written by Jay Basu and directed by Tom Green (the Tom Green who isn’t an insane comedian) No word on if the sequel will have a budget that is more than the cost of a tank full of gas. Boy, isn’t gas expensive? What’s that about? Must be because of the Monsters.
Speaking of Monsters and energy production, Pixar’s hit Monsters Inc. is getting it’s prequel, Monsters University. Find out how Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan met each other and why they hated each other for a while until hijinks ensued which caused them to be best buds. June 21, 2013 is when we’re getting this money maker! The preview trailer has just dropped. And to make the prequel even more hype-tastic, they’ve made four versions of it, where Mike says something different when Sully yanks off his covers. Watch them all for maximum joke getting. You don’t want to be the guy at the party who’s only seen three versions of the Monsters University trailer!
It’s Discount Puppet Explosion 411! Two teams battle to review B-movies.
In this episode, Team Jawesome gets animated in their discussion of The Little Panda Fighter (Ursinho da Pesada), which just happens to be better animated than the film itself! See this Brazilian animation imitation that strives to be Kung Fu Panda but without everything ever that made Kung Fu Panda a good film. Vídeo Brinquedo (Toyland Video) brings the thunder (the Teddy Thunders!) of their Pixar knockoffs and now will reap the lightning of Team Jawesome. Watch the video that survived two hard drive explosions to get edited months later! Be a survivor and watch Pancada dance his way into your brains, slowly driving you mad as the untextured animation becomes worse and worse. But will Johnny Mustache accept Sleestack Jones and Mongo’s choice? Or will Team Jawesome be one step closer to being blasted to the Moon?
From the Dept. of NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOO!!!! comes the exciting news that long term plans from Lionsgate call for a Twilight reboot! Lionsgate bought Summit this past January and have seemingly decided that they enjoy dump trucks filled with money, so the only way to ensure that keeps happening is more Twilight movies! But the books are all finished (except the uncompleted and abandoned book that was just a retelling of the original book from Edward’s POV!) so the only real solution is REBOOT! I support this 100%, I want Twilight movies to be in constant production with a new film out every year, the vampires becoming more and more sparkly, the werewolves being more and more shirtless, Bella being more and more bland and uninteresting, the casts becoming increasingly parodies of the prior casts until the irony becomes so dense Earth is enveloped into a black hole that swallows the universe. A sparkly black hole with no shirt!
Granted, this is all rumor at this point from BloodyDisgusting’s inside sources, but why wouldn’t studios want to make tons of more money? This makes perfect sense. Too much sense.