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InRiffTrax

Nightmare at Noon – new RiffTrax VOD

October 23, 2012By

It’s time once again for another RiffTrax VOD release! It is . This time, we return to the world of Wings Houser, who somehow had a movie career made up entirely of films about corporations mutating rednecks! Somehow, this happened, and Nightmare at Noon was born. Mutant was hysterical, Nightmare at Noon can only be a nightmare of laughs. At 12pm.

Nightmare at Noon might sound like what happens a few hours after trying items from Taco Bell’s breakfast menu, but in fact it’s a movie! A totally 80s movie that reunites two stars from our VOD release Mutant: the terrifyingly-faced Wings Hauser and his gruff, permanently drunk pal, Bo Hopkins. And, weirdly enough, they are once again facing off against a rural town full of people turned into ghouls by environmental contamination. But whereas Wings played a young whiny sarcastic yuppie in Mutant, this time he’s…a slightly older whiny sarcastic yuppie. And while Bo played a small town sheriff in Mutant, this time he’s…a cop who lost his job for doing the right thing. But it’s not a sequel! Somehow! Basically, they took what made Mutant such a good movie (nothing), threw in George Kennedy (yes, that George Kennedy), some cleavage (not George Kennedy’s) and a ridiculously long helicopter chase that was probably pulled from an Airwolf rerun, shook it all up and poured a big glass of Nightmare at Noon!

It’s worth noting that this movie is also known by another title, Death Street U.S.A. (kinda like how Mutant also had another name, Night Shadows). It’s also worth noting, according to the movie itself, that Wings Hauser’s character loves croissants, but HATES them when they’re microwaved. Might we fixate on this bizarre character detail? Oh, we might. We just might.

Help Mike, Kevin and Bill stuff croissants into a microwave until Wings drops to his knees in despair at this Nightmare at Noon!

Nightmare At Noon Rifftrax

InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Space Battleship Yamato

October 23, 2012By

Space Battleship Yamato

aka Space Battleship ヤマト aka Supesu Batorushippu Yamato

2010
Written by Shimako Sato
Story by Yoshinobu Nishizaki
Directed by Takashi Yamazaki

With the remake trains heading at full speed down the tracks of the movie world, it is only natural that popular franchises like Space Battleship Yamato would become one of the train stations. Space Battleship Yamato (宇宙戦艦ヤマト) was an anime series begun in 1974, it features a continual story arc and was followed up by several sequel series and films and lawsuits. Released in the west as Star Blazers, the anime gained a faithful cult following overseas as well as home. I’ve never seen Star Blazers, though it’s popular enough I’ve become familiar with the concept. Earth under attack by powerful aliens, a lone ship sent on a desperate mission. And that ship just happens to be built in the hull of the infamous World War II battleship Yamato.

This reboot of Space Battleship Yamato takes some cues from the reboot of Battlestar Galactica. More than some cues. Okay, it’s almost a carbon copy of Battlestar Galactica. From the 9-11 inspired opening destruction of Earth’s fleet (which rings way more hollow and is an interesting look at 9-11 from a non-American country) to the characters with templates lifted wholesale (including gender swaps!) to the made up story of hope to inspire a journey across the galaxy, deja vu will deja vu your deja vu. Space Battleship Yamato owes almost its entire existence to Battlestar Galactica, which is odd considering it has a whole original canon to use.

The general concept of the original cartoon using the Yamato was a reference to the final mission of the battleship, which was generally seen as a brave but futile effort to defend Japan before the inevitable defeat. Yamato was seen as a metaphor for the Japanese Empire, double-downed by the name Yamato being a poetic name. Space Battleship Yamato borrows this line of thinking, even going so far as to spell it out to the audience. But the liberal borrowing of concepts and themes from Battlestar Galactica muddies the water. After the Yamato is launched, it becomes a series of episodes with the theme of sacrifice for the greater good. Susumu Kodai has a chip on his shoulder against Captain Okita, believing he abandoned his brother to die. Yuki Mori thinks Kodai leaving the military was abandoning his duty. Kodai violates orders to try to save crew members, endangering the entire ship, but later learns that you can’t avoid Kobayashi Maru forever and sometimes people have to die. Even the ending of the film works on this concept of sacrifice, from the cast thinning to the final actions of Kodai. Characters die, and the survivors will spend far too long thinking about the death in the middle of the action. Time is of the essence, people! These reactions are meant to emphasize the sacrifices, but are so overdone they become distracting. Oddly enough, this focus on duty and sacrifice above all else gives Space Battleship Yamato themes that mimic the thinking of the time of the real battleship Yamato.

The mixed messages cause Space Battleship Yamato to flounder around and lose the emotional punches it needed. I am not familiar enough with the original show to know if it was similarly muddled. The liberal borrowing from another source is also a big red mark against it. The visual effects are wonderful, especially considering the lower budget. It is a nice looking film. But looks are only skin deep, and Space Battleship Yamato is like one of those hollow chocolate bunnies. You know it should be filled with chocolate, but it just isn’t, and it’s not what you wanted.

Susumu Kodai (Takuya Kimura) – Former fighter squad leader (the Black Tigers) who left the service, only to come back into action for the Yamato mission. His best friend is an analyzer, basically an iPhone. Lost his brother in the Gamilas ambush. Definitely not Lee Adama.
Yuki Mori (Meisa Kuroki) – Expert Cosmos Tiger fighter pilot who is always prepared. Definitely not Starbuck. Meisa Kuroki was also in Assault Girls.
Captain Juzo Okita (Tsutomu Yamazaki) – Old grizzled captain of the Yamato. Gruff but recognizes potential in people. Able to make tough decisions. Lost his son to the Gamilas forces. Definitely not Bill Adama.
Gamilas (CGI and Masato Ibu) – Aliens who start attacking Earth for unknown reasons. Then tries to stop the humans when they fight back. Desla is the named Gamilas, who are both individuals and a collective mind.

InMovie News

Iron Man 3 Trailer

October 23, 2012By


Can’t wait. Houses blowing up, suits blowing up, PTSD, Mandarin, War Machine, other things blowing up. Iron Man’s darkest hour.

Brash-but-brilliant industrialist Tony Stark/Iron Man, is pitted against an enemy whose reach knows no bounds. When Stark finds his personal world destroyed at his enemy’s hands, he embarks on a harrowing quest to find those responsible. This journey, at every turn, will test his mettle. With his back against the wall, Stark is left to survive by his own devices, relying on his ingenuity and instincts to protect those closest to him. As he fights his way back, Stark discovers the answer to the question that has secretly haunted him: does the man make the suit or does the suit make the man?

Iron Man 3

InMovie News

Monster Roll is sushi chef vs monster fun!

October 22, 2012By

Monster Roll from Dan Blank on Vimeo.

Monster Roll is a short film being used as a proof-of-concept to pitch a feature flick from director Daniel Blank. It features sushi chefs fighting against giant sea monsters, but most importantly, it has Gerald Okamura in it! It’s short and it rules, so watch it now and hope that someone with a dump truck full of money sees the film and we get a full feature.

Official Site
via Wired
Monster Roll

InMovie News

Robocroc comes to take a bite out of crime…or just random dudes!

October 22, 2012By

UFO International Productions is giving us what could be an awesome SyFy flick with Robocroc! It’s about a crocodile that is turned into the ultimate killing machine thanks to top secret nanobots! Better yet, just read this cool description:

When a top-secret unmanned spacecraft disintegrates on re-entry, its mysterious military payload crash-lands in the crocodile habitat of a place called Adventure Land, a combination water park, amusement land and world famous crocodile exhibit. Following its pre-programmed instructions, the payload – a next-generation nanotech-based combat
drone – finds a host in the form of the park’s prize twenty-foot Australian Saltwater crocodile, Stella. She is the largest Saltwater croc in captivity. Immediately upon infecting its host, the drone payload’s nanobots begin to transform Stella from an organic, living creature into a lethal killing machine with only a single directive: Survival!

Before Chief Zoo Keeper Tim Duffy and reptile biologist Jane Spencer are able to figure out what’s going on, they find the park taken over by the government team responsible for the secret project. As the crocodile continues to transform, it escapes the crocodile exhibit and enters the water park, running amok, killing dozens of patrons.

The park is evacuated, but a handful of teens are trapped behind – including among them, Duffy’s estranged son. Duffy and Jane set out to rescue Duffy’s son while the government team and military personnel scramble to stop the rapidly evolving croc but nothing works. After their best efforts fail, the now fully-evolved ROBOCROC escapes the park and rampages further forcing a massive military deployment to stop it. Still following its prime directive: RoboCroc enters the city sewer system. With time running out, only Duffy has the knowledge and experience that will allow him to get close enough to the croc to destroy it.

In a desperate gambit, Duffy enters the sewer system armed with his knowledge of crocodile behavior and a tactical Electromagnetic Pulse Generator. Finally, after a terrifying confrontation in the bowels of the city and with his own life on the line, Duffy detonates the EMP and destroys RoboCroc and the nanobots once and for all.

Robocroc
The only star info I could find is Corin Nemec is starring (presumably as Chief Zoo Keeper Tim Duffy) and that force is from the man himself via his twitter (which you should also be like me and follow!) Corin Nemec’s SyFy flicks are always awesome (unless they’re Raging Sharks!)

The Robocroc nickname probably comes from the real Robocroc, a crocodile that was given a bionic jaw in reconstructive surgery, who later sadly died.

via DreadCentral

InMovie Reviews, Ugly

The Iron Glove

October 20, 2012By

The Iron Glove


1954
Written by Douglas Heyes, Samuel J. Jacoby, Robert E. Kent, Jesse Lasky Jr., and DeVallon Scott
Directed by William Castle

This film is Untouchabullcrap!

One casualty of the modern movie landscape is the dearth of swashbuckler films. Like westerns and original musicals, swashbucklers were a product of an earlier age, the type of stories that we’re told won’t fit in with modern sensibilities. And while the three genres have slowed to a trickle, there are notable examples of all of them in recent years. The flow may not be strong, but it is still bubbling up water.

I wish I could say The Iron Glove was a thirst-quenching example from yesteryear, but, alas, it’s actually rancid gunk not fit for a beast! This is a shame, as director William Castle (House on Haunted Hill, 13 Ghosts, The Tingler) had the ability to craft a good tale, even if he did lean towards theater gimmicks to promote his flicks. The Iron Glove is filled with low production values, the walking scenes and the speaking closeups are so obviously filmed at different times that the viewer becomes uncomfortable and begins to squirm in their seat with unease. Something is wrong, something off. Almost no character moves while talking for the entire film, they walk, stop, closeup, talk.

Let’s not even get into Robert Stack’s accent being all over the map…it’s Irish usually, when he remembers, but sometimes it’s Scottish or it drops out entirely. Robert Stack seems like he’d be a natural for the hero role. Known to people my age as the host of Unsolved Mysteries, to my parents as the guy from The Untouchables, and to kids today as that one guy from Airplane!, Stack was a perfect old school leading man. He looked tough, strong, and the type of guys ladies would swoon for. Playing a super-talented honorable swordsman fighting for a losing cause should be a sure-fire win. But then he opens his mouth and talks with the ridiculous accent, and it all falls apart. Shot under the working title The Kiss and the Sword, producer Sam Katzman had wanted Cornel Wilde for the title role. But he was busy setting up his own company, thus enter Stack, who reportedly wasn’t too fond of this production.

18th century hipsters

The setting for The Iron Glove (please note that I do not recall an iron glove appearing in the film besides the title card) is when James Stuart was battling for the English throne in the 18th century. The setting is one of those historical settings that I don’t think most Americans would have given a crap about, no matter how much Stack tells us how super cool James Stuart is. The historical accuracy is rather thin, though they do get a bit of the basics right, and the Polish Princess Stuart ends up marrying becomes a plot point. But Braveheart this ain’t, the King of England isn’t painted as a crazed psychopath, just a jerk, whose efforts seem based on keeping another jerk from having the throne. The failure to get us to even cheer for the hero’s side is another failure of The Iron Glove.

What The Iron Glove does get right is the use of color. It’s a very bright film, looking a lot like the type of 60s adventures Disney would later make. Producer Sam Katzman wanted Cornel Wilde to play Charles Wogan, but he was busy creating his own production company. Thus, Robert Stack.

Oh, sir, phallic symbol me away!

Captain Charles Wogan (Robert Stack) – Officer in Prince James Stuart’s war for the throne. Loyal to his friend James Stuart as the two grew up together. An honorable man to a fault, which leaves him blind to basic traps.
Ann Brett (Ursula Thiess) – Ann’s father was killed by the Stuarts, so she hates them. But not as much as she loves making out with Charles Wogan!
Prince James Stuart (Richard Wyler) – Heir to the English throne, but cast out via historical reasons that you can wikipedia for yourself. Depicted here as the most honorable man who ever lived, even though other characters mention him killing their families.
Timothy O’Toole (Charles Irwin) – One of Captain Wogan’s buddies, and the greatest drinker in all of Ireland. And that’s a land with a lot of drinkers. Seemingly unaware that he has a Bond Girl name.
Patrick Gaydon (Alan Hale Jr.) – The Skipper! If you ever wanted to see the Skipper in drag while sporting a bad Irish accent, then do I have a flick for you!
Duke of Somerfield (Leslie Bradley) – Duke who is loyal to the crown, but pretends to not be loyal to root out traitors. Which is evil because the traitors are the good guys in this flick. Has orange fluffy boarder on his tricorner hat. His evilness even means he wants to marry the woman he had pretend to be his wife! The fiend!
If you ask me to call you “Little buddy” one more time, the next Unsolved Mystery will be the location of your grave!
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