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InMovie News

Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie bursting from a landfill near you!

November 14, 2012By

Love him or hate him, there is no denying that The Angry Video Game Nerd has become an important figure in the world of internet reviewing of video games and in the world of calling things a shitload of fuck. But say what you will of the annoyance of the billions of copycat “angry” reviewers who think mixing swear words together is humor, at least James Rolfe makes his shows entertaining and informative beyond the poo jokes. So there is no denying that Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie will be divisive at best and the cause of endless flame wars at worst. And it looks filled with the same type of humor and budget that makes up his reviews, only shot on location and with a story that lasts longer than 20 minutes or so. A plot built around the urban legend about the Atari ET cartridges that were buried in the desert after destroying the video game boom of the 80s, which quickly blooms into aliens, government conspiracies, zombies, robots, and all sorts of craziness. I’ll give it a whirl, who knows? And I actually played the ET Atari game as a kid. Because I’m awesome.

“Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie” is a passion project by independent filmmakers James Rolfe and Kevin Finn, based on the popular web series. The film is being produced outside the studio system, entirely funded by fan donations. Principle photography took place in Spring of 2012, in the Los Angeles area, with Jason Brewer as the DP. Additional filming is taking place on the East Coast. Editing is in its early stages.

The film is inspired by the famous Atari video game burial of 1982. Atari produced a game based on the biggest blockbuster movie of that year, E.T., and rushed it to meet the deadline for the Christmas shopping season. It was a commercial failure and millions of unsold game cartridges were buried in a desert landfill in Alamogordo, New Mexico. Coincidentally, it’s not too far from Roswell, the landing site of a different kind of E.T.

The Trailer features music by Bear McCreary (Battlestar Gallactica, The Walking Dead). The track is called “Maverick Regeneration” and can be downloaded as part of the Play for Japan album. All proceeds go to help earthquake victims in Japan.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/play-for-japan-the-album/id450785090

The film is expected to be completed in the summer of 2013, but only time will tell. Independent films take a long time to finish. This one is no exception. It’s eventually expected to be released on DVD and/or Blu-ray, and to be available around the world, after showing to some live audiences in theater venues. Digital downloads is also an option. The immediate goal is to finish the film first.

See updates on James Rolfe’s personal site
http://cinemassacre.com.

ET 2600

Who would bury this Mona Lisa???

InMovie News

Oz the Great and Powerful has finally sold me

November 14, 2012By


I was wary and cautious, but now I want to see Oz the Great and Powerful. Whether or not it will be good, I do not know, but it will be interesting at least. There is enough imagery that can work both with the 1939 film classic and with the original books. There are flying monkeys both good and evil, witchcraft and magic, and even that city made of ceramics that I sort of vaguely remember but might be confusing them with Utensia and other Oz cities I remember more clearly. Time to reread all the books thanks to the magic of public domain! Raimi is a good story teller when he’s not trying to jam too much into things thanks to studio interference. Let’s just ignore the fact the landscape vaguely resembles that Alice in Wonderland flick from a few years ago. As an Oz snob, I shall be looking at this with a more picky eye than usual. And if this films sucks I’m going to take my army of kalidahs and woozies and burn down Hollywood. Again.

Disney’s fantastical adventure “Oz The Great and Powerful,” directed by Sam Raimi, imagines the origins of L. Frank Baum’s beloved character, the Wizard of Oz. When Oscar Diggs (James Franco), a small-time circus magician with dubious ethics, is hurled away from dusty Kansas to the vibrant Land of Oz, he thinks he’s hit the jackpot–fame and fortune are his for the taking–that is until he meets three witches, Theodora (Mila Kunis), Evanora (Rachel Weisz) and Glinda (Michelle Williams), who are not convinced he is the great wizard everyone’s been expecting. Reluctantly drawn into the epic problems facing the Land of Oz and its inhabitants, Oscar must find out who is good and who is evil before it is too late. Putting his magical arts to use through illusion, ingenuity–and even a bit of wizardry–Oscar transforms himself not only into the great and powerful Wizard of Oz but into a better man as well.

Oz the Great and Powerful stars James Franco, Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams, and Zach Braff and directed by Sam Raimi

Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful

InGood, Movie Reviews

When Nature Calls (1985)

November 14, 2012By

When Nature Calls

aka The Outdoorsters


Directed by Charles Kaufman
Written by Charles Kaufman and Stan Weisman

I find this gag to be ‘bearable’.

“How many people remember that Eleanor Roosevelt had great tits?”

Seven years after Kentucky Fried Movie, a different group of filmmakers decided to basically do the same thing: a theatrical experience that was a parody of the entire theater going experience. You get fake trailers, fake theater announcements, fake concession stand ads (here’s a hotdog doing another hotdog doggy style! brilliant!) and a feature presentation that makes mockery of a big hit.

It doesn’t help us much now that the object of the film’s scorn, the series of Wilderness Family movies in the late 70’s, are pretty much forgotten now. Those were a series of film where the dad took everyone out into the woods where they were much happier without the technology. And, you know, other people.

They use most of the film’s run time to skewer this, but rather than settle for a simple parody, they mixed their approach with the Airplane gag-a-minute philosophy, and while there are a lot (a lot) of misses, it still works out since the people in front of the camera seem to be having such a good time.

Baby Bullets (N/A) – A baby buggy that gets to reenact gangster movie cliches. It’s funny. Because it’s a baby.

Yeah. And this is the trailer they start with…
Gena (Cheryl “Gates” McFadden) – The future chief medical officer of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” plays Gena in a trailer entitled Gena’s Story. This involves a lot of pokes at ‘female pictures’ that Meryl Streep probably would feel comfortable in. It also involves dancing around in her underwear, uh, if that’s your thing.
Marty (Matthew Adams) – The third and last trailer parody is probably the deepest of them all, which ain’t saying much. This satire of Raging Bull involves a great deal of swearing, which is all bleeped out (because bleeping is much funnier than uncreative profanity). I think the title of this segment is apt (Raging Asshole) and it wisely doesn’t overstay its welcome.
Greg (David Orange) – The lead and madman who kicks off the plot of our feature, The Outdoorsters. Greg one day decides his city job (in “Shanghai, 1913” which looks suspiciously like 1980’s New York) and take his family out into the wilderness where they can build a life. He’s completely self delusional and narrates this movie which only seems to feed into his madness. But, hey, check out that physique and kinky scarf.
Barb (Barbara Marineau) – Greg’s wife who thinks he’s crazy. She also will not make love to him, resorting to sticking mice traps in her pockets for whenever he gets frisky.

Probably also nuts.
Bambi (Tina Marie Staino) – A teenage girl who loves her teddy bear too much. And when she finally meets a real bear, it’s love at first site.

She becomes his honey! :rimshot:
Little Billy (Nicky Belm) – Little Billy is what all parents worried their kids would become in the 80’s– an entrepreneur without a conscience. We start the movie with him deciding the fates of a bevy of prostitutes, and soon find him creating peep shows for elephants out in the woods. He’s a brat, but, oddly, probably the most sane of them all.
Weejun (David Strathairn) – Yes. Future Academy Award nominee David Strathairn. He plays an Indian (or at least a man who thinks he’s an Indian) who becomes friends with the family as they rough it in the wilderness. He has much to teach them, especially in the arena of bobcat wrestling.
InBad, Movie Reviews

Eega

November 13, 2012By

Eega

aka ఈగ aka Naan Ee aka Eecha aka Makkhi
Eega
2012
Written by Janardhan Maharshi and S. S. Rajamouli
Directed by S. S. Rajamouli
Eega
Eega is the best movie of 2012, and I will argue this fact until you are blue in the face and die and are reincarnated as a fly. And I’ll be right, because Eega is a rocking awesome flick that keeps you entertained and has fun with it’s crazy story.
Eega
The concept of Eega is so utterly brilliant I am surprised it isn’t used more in films from countries where belief in reincarnation is more mainstream. But beyond the general idea of revenge lasting beyond the grave because the victim is reincarnated, which far too often is just depicted as boring old ghosts, Eega takes that and turns in into an awesome tale where the murdered victim reincarnates as a fly, and must take down a powerful and evil man while one of the weakest creatures on the planet. Flies are even used as a punching bag by bullies, as they say things like “what was that, a fly?” when hit or other such taunts. But a fly can be powerful, especially when backed by the intelligence of a human and the benefits of a micro artist fashioning tools and weapons for the insect.
Eega
Eega literally means fly, and when Nani is reincarnated from an underdog in love to an ultimate underdog, his hero arc is at one of the lowest points in cinematic history. How many heroes come back from being killed off in the first act? Only Bill Cosby and Patrick Swayze! But Nani returns in fly form, and his revenge builds from irritation and protecting the woman he loves to vengeance upon the man who ended his life because he stood in the way of getting said woman.
Eega
Eega was filmed in Telugu (as Eega) and Tamil (as Naan Ee – the name I first heard of this film as), and later dubbed into Malayalam (as Eecha) and Hindi (as Makkhi). All of these words can be seen flashing on the screen during the final musical number.
Eega

Bindu (Samantha) – A visual design sculptor that does micro art as a hobby. Bindu works for Project 511 charity helping educate underprivileged children. Nani has the hots for her, and she’s spent the better part of two years teasingly ignoring him and his advances as part of a long term game of hard to get. But this has tragic consequences when the night she finally professes her love is his last on Earth… Samantha also goes by Samantha Ruth Prabhu and has become one of the top South Indian actresses recently.
Sudeep (Kiccha Sudeep) – A corrupt businessman and womanizer, Sudeep even killed his wife for her money, though he’s not beyond using her memory as emotional manipulation. Sudeep enjoys killing his enemies beneath his bare feet, feeling the life drain out of his targets. Sudeep is the living embodiment of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.
Nani (Nani) – A nice guy hopelessly in love with Nani, though she secretly likes him back. Nani donates the tiny paychecks he earns from his firecracker business to her charity just to get excuses to talk to her. Nani is his stage name, his birth name is Naveen Babu Ghanta. Also Nani is so close to the word Naan Ee it makes his choice as star be even better, even if Nani is only in 1/3 of the flick.
Nani Fly Form (CGI) – “Come into my parlor” said the spider to the fly. The fly then kicked his spider butt! That fly was Nani, who has reincarnated in fly form to take down the man who killed him and save the woman he loves. And Nani the fly taunt Sudeep by wiggling his fly butt throughout the pic!

Eega

InBad, Movie Reviews

The Zodiac Fighters

November 12, 2012By

The Zodiac Fighters

aka 十二生南 aka Dragon Zombies Return aka Shi er sheng nan

1978
Directed by Hau Chang

Zodiac Fighters
50 Shades of Grey wishes it was this daring!

Polly Shang Kuan Ling-Feng began her career In 1966 with the United Film Corporation, and was quickly and began studying martial arts. When director King Hu needed a new starlet for 1966’s Dragon Gate Inn (one of the films that helped usher in the modern wuxia films) with Cheng Pei-Pei still under contract at Shaw, Polly was his choice. Polly played a female swordmaster disguised as a man, a role she would be accustom to playing. Often it is hard to figure out what gender Polly is supposed to be in many of her films! 18 Bronzemen, probably her most famous role in the west besides Dragon Gate Inn, also sees her disguised as a man. In 1973’s Back Alley Princess, she was a woman who spent the entire film playing a man, and won the Golden Horse award for Best Actress. 1978’s Little Hero saw her playing a man, and 1977’s Fight for Survival saw her playing a woman who started to become a man thanks to some kung fu, causing her to need to learn a different kung fun style to revert back.

Zodiac Fighters
I have to stay in this cave for a year? But there’s no bathroom, there’s not even a corner!

In some of her earlier roles such as A Grand Passion, The Bravest Revenge, and A Girl Fighter, Polly was regularly cast as a female out to avenge her murdered father. If you stacked the bodies of all of Polly’s murdered fathers in her older films, you could climb to the moon and probably kill her moon father, causing her to seek moon revenge, which wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary by her later films. By the late 1970s, Polly was making some of the most awesome films to come out of Taiwan. Most of these were weird variations of martial arts films packed with comedic tones and funny situations. You don’t watch these films to see expertly performed Eagle Style, you watch it to see wacky costumes, ridiculous fights, and insane situations.

Unlike many of her contemporaries, Polly did not have Peking Opera training, but according to the one biography online that has been copy/pasta’ed everywhere, Polly eventually got black belts in taekwando, karate, and judo. I will point out that none of those are Chinese martial arts. Polly left film in the 1980s and moved to the US. Rumor is she runs a restaurant in LA, but no one has said which restaurant! Polly could be serving you catfish in black bean sauce right now! Or even denying you the ability to sit at your table until the rest of your party arrives… She has appeared occasionally in enough interviews that you can see pictures of her now if you so desire to Google it.

Zodiac Fighters
It’s time for Popeye Style Kung Fu!

So this all brings us to Zodiac Fighters, a film where we have people dressed up as the various Chinese Zodiac animals running around doing kung fu styles in the manner of the animal they are dressed up as. We have a few extra bad guys with different animal suits who show up near the end, and a sequence involving rubber sharks that you have to see to believe. Zodiac Fighters is crazy and freaking awesome, a great martial comedy. Unfortunately, it is also hard as heck to get a hold of. I had to bribe a guy dressed like a moose. Or maybe he was a moose. In any event, I now have a copy, and some moose has a bunch of caramel corn.

I’d like to tell you I did all this research and identified all the random actors, but that would be a lie. I just did what the few of us who watch these films do and went to the source, this Cast Photos Page that is used by every reference source out there, even the HKMDB! So now you know the terrible secret of all us obscure movie bloggers.

Zodiac Fighters is so beloved among cult world cinema fans that it was even featured as one of the Polly Shang Kuan films we talked about in an Infernal Brains Podcast! There is even an even harder to find sequel, called either Zodiac Fighters 2 or War of the Zodiacs depending who whoever wrote the cover of the bootleg with a Sharpie. It does not feature Polly Shang Kuan, but does feature most of the animal actors, little people in dog costumes, and the giant octopuses seen in Little Hero. War of the Zodiacs should probably be called War of the Props Left Over From Other Films.

Zodiac Fighters
The Secret Society of People Dressed as Animals Who Aren’t Furries is ready for battle!

I promise I won’t start quoting lyrics from Talk to the Animals or start wondering what would happen if we could walk with the animals, or possibly even grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals. Because that would just be easy and predictable, and we aspire to a higher standard of lame jokes at TarsTarkas.NET!

Zodiac Fighters
I’m the biggest Shark Week fan in the world!

East Sea Dragon/Polly (Polly Shang Kuan Ling-Feng) – A professional mourner who becomes mixed up in intrigue and thus spends a year learning Dragon Kung Fu in a magic cave, thus then becoming East Sea Dragon. She must then track down the other 11 zodiac sign fighters from the cave and defeat the evil Tiger Shark, because, he’s evil!
Heartbreak Girl (Yee Hung) – Manipulative lass who uses wide-eyed do-gooders to fight for her family’s honor. Despite breaking so many hearts it earned her a new name, she still uses people like East Sea Dragon to do her bidding.
Tiger Shark (Lo Lieh) – Evil jerk with a seafood evil theme, he’s like if a Long John Silvers restaurant came to life and was bad to the bone. The fishbone. Has shark weapons, goons dressed as crabs, the whole nine yards.
Pan Sing (Ngok Yeung) – Good scholar/fortune teller who East Sea Dragon runs into along the way in her quest to take down Tiger Shark. He joins on along with Polly’s old mourning buddies because they got nothing else going on. He will use his brain to figure out things that the audience figured out much earlier in the film. Ngok Yeung shows up in Dwarf Sorcerer and The Legend of Mother Goddess.
The Five Elements (various) – Besides the sea-themed goons, Tiger Shark also employs these five guys based on the five elements – Fire, Wood, Water, Air, and Gold. They are very colorful and have very complex fight moves, but are easily fooled (you might say they are lead by….FOOL’S GOLD!)

The Other 11 Zodiackers:

Rooster (Weng Hsiao-Hu) – The first of the crew they located, Rooster is off crowing in a field and helps East Sea Dragon locate the rest of the signs.
Rat (???) – This Rat guy has the power of digging tunnels and biting people with his rat teeth!
Ox (???) – Ox has the power of the Ox, which is not impressive enough that I noticed what it was. Maybe it was the power of being bought for the game Oregon Express!
Rabbit (???) – Probably the most memorable costume, we got a chick fighting in a fluffy bunny rabbit outfit. And she has a carrot-shaped flute that she plays during musical numbers. Rabbit also has the power of riding toy sharks, which comes in handy during the final battle, believe it or not!
Snake (Wu Feng-Hsien) – Snake is an entertainer at heart and also a fan of walking like an Egyptian, from the looks of her dance moves.
Horse (Gam Sai-Yuk) – Horse has all the power of the Horse, and can even talk like famed horse Mr. Ed.
Ram (???) – Ram enjoys fighting other members of the zodiac crew, because they all love to fight each other all the time. Some real anger management issues going on in this crew.
Monkey (Wang Tai-Lang) – Another entertainer, he uses his monkey skills to earn money as a street performer before being drafted into the ranks of the Zodiackers! Wang Tai-Lang specialized in playing characters named Monkey. Yeah.
Dog (Lee Keung) – When your special powers are biting people on the ankles and peeing on them, maybe you need some new special powers. Just saying. His weakness is rolled-up newspaper!
Pig (Cheng Fu-Hung) – We can’t have a pig zodiac without him looking vaguely like Zhu Bajie from Journey to the West. Cheng Fu-Hung is also in Island Warriors, Fight for Survival, and Fantasy Mission Force.
Tiger (Sek Fung) – Tiger has the most human zodiac costume of them all, and seems like a leader even though he’s subserviant to East Sea Dragon.
Zodiac Fighters
Something’s happening here. What it is, ain’t exactly clear…
Yellow Line
InMovie News

Dungeons & Dragons: The Book of Vile Darkness rolls a d20 on SyFy!

November 12, 2012By

November 24th is the SyFy premiere of Dungeons & Dragons: The Book of Vile Darkness, the third feature in the Dungeons & Dragons film franchise. It’s got floating hands, the Phantom of the Opera, exploding dudes, a chick who makes goths look like amateurs with all her piercings and tattoos, a giant orcish dude, a CGI dragon, and smokey swords. It looks craptacularly delicious!

Two thousand years ago, Nhagruul the Foul, a sorcerer who reveled in corrupting the innocent and the spread of despair, neared the end of his mortal days and was dismayed. Consumed by hatred for the living, Nhagruul sold his soul to the demon Lords of the abyss so that his malign spirit would survive. In an excruciating ritual, Nhagrulls skin was flayed into pages, his bones hammered into a cover, and his diseased blood became the ink to pen a book most vile. All those exposed to the book were driven to madness or so corrupted by the wicked knowledge contained within that they had no choice but to turn evil. Misery and bloodshed followed the disciples of Nhagruul as they spread their Masters dark dream. Creatures vile and depraved rose from every pit and unclean barrow to partake in the fever of destruction. The cities and kingdoms of Karkoth were consumed by this plague of evil until an order of warriors arose from the ashes. The Knights of the New Sun swore an oath to resurrect hope in the land. The purity of their hearts was so great that Pelor, the God of Light, gave the Knights powerful amulets with which to channel his power. Transcendent with divine might, the Knights of the New Sun pierced the shadow that had darkened the land for twelve hundred years and cast it asunder. But not all were awed by their glory. The disciples of Nhagruul disassembled the book and bribed three greedy souls to hide the pieces until they could be retrieved. The ink was discovered and destroyed but, despite years of searching, the cover and pages were never found. Peace ruled the land for centuries and the Knights got lost in the light of their own glory. As memory of the awful events faded so did the power of servants of Pelor. They unwittingly abandoned themselves in the incorrect belief that the Book of Vile Darkness could never again be made whole

Don’t worry if you didn’t know there was a third Dungeons & Dragons film, because that also means you don’t know there is also a fourth one in production! don’t forget to check out our reviews of the original Dungeons & Dragons and the surprisingly okay first sequel, Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God. Will The Book of Vile Darkness keep up the trend? Ask our friends in the UK, as the flick is already on DVD there!

Dungeons & Dragons The Book of Vile Darkness
Dungeons & Dragons The Book of Vile Darkness

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