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Dark Fantasies
InMovie News

Welcome to Links University

December 14, 2012By

More news through the cracks and links to other blogs. I didn’t have much time to read other sites this week so that portion is rather weak. I am always open to suggestions…

**Philip K. Dick wrote this letter about Blade Runner before he died, and it was pretty much spot on.

**David Cronenberg mentions The Fly remake and Eastern Promises 2 are both cancelled

**Someone sent a package for Indiana Jones to the University of Chicago

What we know: The package contained an incredibly detailed replica of “University of Chicago Professor” Abner Ravenwood’s journal from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. It looks only sort of like this one, but almost exactly like this one, so much so that we thought it might have been the one that was for sale on Ebay had we not seen some telling inconsistencies in cover color and “Ex Libris” page (and distinct lack of sword). The book itself is a bit dusty, and the cover is teal fabric with a red velvet spine, with weathered inserts and many postcards/pictures of Marion Ravenwood (and some cool old replica money) included. It’s clear that it is mostly, but not completely handmade, as although the included paper is weathered all of the “handwriting” and calligraphy lacks the telltale pressure marks of actual handwriting.

Indiana Jones Package

**Rise of the Animals is your source for deer puppet mayhem! Also I think the cat from A Talking Cat!?! is briefly in the flick…

You can buy Rise of the Animals here

**Pre-Code learns about Private Lives!

**FourDK chomps some Yellow Fangs!

**Pulp Curry meets The Killers and The Killers!

**Permission to Kill battles Cybernauts!

**The Lightning Bug’s Lair cuts Elf-Man short!

**Unknown Movies hits the Bullseye!

**Thai actioner Kill Em All is coming to DVD

Captured international assassins are locked up inside a high-tech bunker known as the Killing Chamber. To break out of this concrete hell they must duel each other, fight deadly ninjas and battle against gangs of masked maniacs. And. if they survive this, they will have to confront Snakehead: the lethal, deranged top dog who will stop at nothing to kill ‘em all.

**Here are some Monsters University posters I haven’t put up yet:
Monsters University
Monsters University

There is always more movie news and never enough time.

InGood, Movie Reviews

Dragon Fury (1995)

December 14, 2012By

Dragon Fury


Written and Directed by David Heavener

“Welcome to Motel 6. Do you have a reservation… TO DIE?”

So the Apocalypse happened back in 1999. I know, you probably missed it; I know I did. But it happened, and Los Angeles split from the continent by the fault line and was hit by a plague. By some strange voodoo, this resulted in the remnants of the city becoming entrenched in a mix of medieval pageantry and ninja violence.

Well, if any post-apocalyptic city is going to devolve into a bad action movie, they’re right, L.A. would be the place.

Mason (Robert Chapin) – Also known as ‘Dragon’, he saw his wife and child get brutally murdered by the evil Fullock. Cult leader Vestor also tried to control him, but Dragon was too strong! He’s normally on the run in the Post-Apocalypse until he’s tasked with traveling back in time to grab the vaccine that will stop the plague two days before the quake. Got all that?

Also, his hair is really goofy. I mean, look at that.
Milton (Chuck Loch) – Despite the fact that the notion of light bulbs continues to elude him, this chap invented a time machine! Unfortunately, his time machine is incompatible with shirts for some reason. Look, he invented time travel, he’s allowed some wiggle room.
Regina (Chona Jason) – Mason’s girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still upset after his wife died and all, but this movie needs nudity, dammit, and someone has to provide.
Vestor (Richard Lynch) – Self proclaimed “Chief Medical Dictator”, he runs around future L.A. like he owns the place. He also tries to indoctrinate various people into his cults. He’s the bad guy here, and spends most of the film stuck in the post-apocalypse glowering like few other character actors can.
Dr. Ruth (Deborah Stambler) – The doctor who takes care of Mason when he arrives back in the hoary days of 1999. She thinks his story of traveling through time is amusing, until the shirtless assassins show up and start karate chopping shit.
Fullock (T.J. Storm) – Look, I’m not saying he’s technically playing the Terminator, but he wanders around shirtless, is practically unstoppable, doesn’t say anything, and by the end has a shotgun that he runs amuck with.

But he also knows karate. So he’s got that going for him.
Dark Fantasies
InMovie News

A Talking Cat!?! must have been titled by me…

December 13, 2012By


Because that is the only explanation. What is A Talking Cat!?! about? Obviously it’s about a talking cat and excessive punctuation. The talking cat of the title is voiced by Eric Roberts, who is the man you think of when you think of talking cats. Or even talking kittens, as that is what the cat is on the poster, even though it’s a full grown cat in the film!

The heartwarming story of Duffy (Eric Roberts), an adorable talking cat that brings two families together. Sometimes it takes a little help from a special cat to get people back on course. In this case, Duffy sets about to help two families enjoy each others’ gifts.

Wait, so Duffy the cat wanders into the middle of that old story about the husband who sold his watch to buy his wife some brushes and she sold her hair to buy him a watchband? Probably not, but now I have a screenplay to write.

I won’t even get into how badly the talking cat animation is. But it is bad.

The important question is: Does Duffy rap??? Not according to the preview, but it is entirely possible.

via BeyondHollywood
A TALKING CAT

InMovie News

Sexsquatch is coming

December 13, 2012By


And probably in that gross way you are thinking from the title. Yes, Sexsquatch is a real film, as you can see above, and it’s even had a theatrical premiere already, but no word yet on when it hits DVD/VOD. From the plot synopsis, you can see things are a little…riDONKulous!

Writer/director Chris Seaver’s Sexsquatch is a romantic tale of summer’s great hope. A group of friends head off for a beach house weekend. Partying, of course, is their number one priority. But there’s so much more to it. Joey Jeremiah is the one member of this group with the highest of high ambitions. He wants to be the president of show business. Trouble with that is, he’s spent so much time focusing on scripts and dreams that he’s completely neglected having ever gotten laid!!!! As any great group of friends would, his have gathered for a weekend dedicated to getting Joey some much needed action. In the midst of all the shenanigans, a storm is brewing. A storm the likes of which these unsuspecting young folks have never seen. The scenic wooded area that plays host to their good times also houses a sinister beast. He’s bloodthirsty, intelligent, eloquent, covered in hair, and horny as shit. NO, I’m not talking about Ron Jeremy. I’m talking about that vicious Beast from the East, Stinkfist: The Sexsquatch!

One by one the gang members, whose only goal was looking for kicks, become victims of the Sexsquatch’s particularly brutal style of wreckage. Bodies begin dropping at an incredible and bloody rate while the time begins running out on Joey’s sex trip. Will they stop this vile beast from killing again? Will they survive, and what will be left of them? Will there be any donuts?? All questions posed in Sexsquatch…

Chris Seaver wrote and directed for Warlock Home Video, he’s a veteran of exploitation fare and has worked on over 50 films. Rod Bollo Skin, Josh Suire, Alec Lambert, Clint Kelly, Jaime Osborne, Heather Maxon, and Varla Darling star.

Those of you who are fans of flicks about bigfoot and sasquatches and all that jazz will be already breaking out your digital payment devices to throw money at this film. Seaver is already working on a sequel. Hopefully the sequel addresses any lingering donut questions.

via Best-Horror-Movies

sexsquatch

Godzilla Marvel 14
InMovie News

Rise of the Terracotta Chinese Coproductions!

December 13, 2012By

Latest news out of China is Bruno Wu’s Seven Stars Entertainment is teaming up with Avi Arad (of Marvel fame) to create original superhero properties for the Chinese movie market. They already have the first film planned, Rise of the Terracotta Warriors (based on the real Terracotta Army sculptures)

This isn’t Bruno Wu’s first foray into coproductions with Western groups. Seven Stars and Wu previously teamed with financier/producer Jake Eberts to make Allied Productions East in March, another company set up to create content for Eastern markets. Allied Productions East will utilize a development fund/pipeline also created by Wu and Seven Stars called Harvest Seven Stars Media Private Equity Ltd (HSSMPEG), which has $800 million ready to invest in new properties. Seven Stars is set to become an unstoppable juggernaut, and people have been comparing Bruno Wu to Rupert Murdoch for the last decade or so.

Combine this news with the massive amount of new theaters that will be built in China for the next decade, and you can see how there will be a huge huge huge market for these films. Not only that, I support there being a lot of media companies making a lot of Chinese films, because so many Chinese films are becoming bland CGI spectacles that if you increase the number tenfold, that increases the chances of actual good movies slipping through the cracks. It’s all about numbers, people!

There is no word yet on any other potential superhero properties beyond the Rise of the Terracotta Warriors, but we’ll keep you posted when they are announced.
via THR

Terracotta Warriors

We have risen to find this guy’s hands! Where are his hands??

Godzilla Marvel 14
InMovie News

The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia ^^^^^^—-WHAT?!?!

December 12, 2012By

Funny Ghost

Who named this movie? I demand ANSWERS! The firing squad is ready. It was even called A Haunting in Georgia, but got renamed. WHY????? Now I have to hate this movie without any cause. Even though it’s not the type of film I’d watch, or even pay attention to if it didn’t have the Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector title. Maybe the ghosts in The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia should go on a road trip or something. I’d watch a ghost road trip movie. Ghosts driving on the highway, having wacky adventures, ghost Tom Green eating a mouse, ghost sex tapes… I seem to be thinking of an actual Road Trip movie…

So The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia features Katee Sackhoff, some people I never heard of, ghosts, and ghosts that copy Japanese black hair ghost’s style. Get your own style, copycats!

Remember it’s “based on a true story”, much like how Kim Kardashian is based on a real human.

image via

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