Chupacabra vs. the Alamo

Chupacabra vs. the Alamo


2013
Story by Peter Sullivan and Jeffrey Schenck
Written by Peter Sullivan
Directed by Terry Ingram

Chupacabra vs the Alamo
That’s what you get for not having a basement!

Chupacabra vs. The Alamo retells the battle of the Alamo with a modern twist. And has an ending that might enrage certain people with an unhealthy Texas obsession, which gives it bonus points in my book. There is also Erik Estrada gunning down chupacabras while getting over his wife’s death and reconnecting with his distant children. But mostly chupacabras.

It’s one of the few horror films with a largely Latino-American cast. Spanish is sprinkled in in levels not unusual for a border town or a town with a lot of migrant workers. Both most of the police characters and most of the gang members are Latino, giving a wide slice of personalities.

Chupacabra vs the Alamo
Do you think Larry Wilcox could deal with these chupacabras? Please!

Chupacabra vs. The Alamo is not afraid to address issues of modern border life, from drug smuggling to Mexican gang violence to illegal immigration to the lack of concern in government response. You can easily see some symbolism in the invading immigrant chupacabras attacking heroes holed up at the Alamo on Cinco de Mayo. But inside the heroes are mostly Latino, and they’re fighting to save their homes. The chupacabras are not illegal immigrants, but crazed gang violence, represented in the monstrous form it deserves to be regarded as. Agent Carlos’s son Tommy spent time in jail for bombing a Mexican drug lord (actually for possessing explosives because they didn’t have proof he killed the man), but it’s revealed he did it to prevent the drug lord from killing more innocent people like his gang war was doing. The mix of ethnicities shows that everyone must come together.

Instead of the classic chupacabra image from witness descriptions that loos sort of like an alien grey with claws and spikes, we get a chupacabra based on those dead “chupacabras” that make the news every few years, which are really just foxes and dogs with mange. Thus, the fierce creatures tearing everyone apart are played by tiny dogs. If you ever wondered what would happen if the cast of Beverly Hills Chihuahua went feral and started chomping necks, now you can find out! As you can imagine, it makes the attack scenes range from ridiculous to ridonkulous.

This movie loves green-screening Erik Estrada on a motorcycle! Why not have the star of CHiPs driving around on a bike for most of the film? If you can, you must! Despite the craziness of the title and premise, some of the action sequences are pretty cool. Notably, Erik Estrada running through a high school blasting chupacabras with a shotgun. The ending also takes some guts, especially since it was filmed with the cooperation of the Alamo. The film knows it’s roots and gives us some winking nods to more famous genre films. Though symptomatic of many of the problems that plague SyFy’s low-budget creature features, there is an energy and fun with Chupacabra vs. the Alamo that makes up for it. The important thing for these films is to be fun and entertaining, and Chupacabra vs. the Alamo definitely is.

Chupacabra vs the Alamo
I’ll be chupacaback!

Director Terry Ingram is a veteran of genre films and shows, such as Ice Road Terror, the SyFy Ice Truckers vs. Monsters movie, as well as some episodes of Relic Hunter and Honey I Shrunk The Kids: The TV Show. Writer Peter Sullivan took a break from writing all his The Dog Who Saved… scripts to give us this masterpiece about dogs gone bad (He also wrote Christmas Twister!)

Agent Carlos Seguín (Erik Estrada) – Famed DEA agent and struggling single father since wife died two years ago on Cinco de Mayo. Instead of being a good parent, threw himself into his work. Is said to be a descendant of Texas hero Juan Seguín, who was at the Alamo and in most of the battle, but was sent out as a courier and wasn’t killed. His nickname is Jaguar.
Sienna (Nicole Muñoz) – Carlos’s daughter who is violating curfews left and right, and thus getting grounded left and right Not going to let being grounded on Cinco de Mayo stop her from sneaking out with the boy she likes.
Tracy Taylor (Julia Benson) – A new partner for Carlos, who is at first dismissed, but she proves to be rather brilliant and becomes a valuable asset. Is one of the first to recognize the menace for what it is.
Agent Dani (Vanesa Tomasino) – DEA agent that acts as sort of an assistant to Carlos. Thus she’s helping with most of the bigger attack sequences.
Tommy/Spider (Jorge Vargas) – Carlos’s estranged son and demolitions expert. Is upset that his father let him spend time in jail to straighten him out. Still upset over his mom’s death. Now hangs with a tough crew.
Brooke (Anja Savcic) – Sienna’s best friend who just has bad luck when it comes to attacking chupacabras. Is very good at ironing.
Chupacabras (CGI and dogs Loki and Duffy) – These rabies-infected chupacabra have crossed the border to search for new victims for blood sucking. There are dozens and dozens of them. Are immensely strong despite their small size.
Medical Examiner (David Nykl) – One of the most intense medical examiners ever. Knows the killed animal brought in is not a coyote but something else.
Crockett (???) – Alamo tour guide who is a descendant of Davy Crockett. Knows the Alamo inside and out and even knows secret rumors that help the team escape. No, there is no Tubbs.
Chupacabra vs the Alamo
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Paul Bunyan gives us the axe in Axe Giant!


You know a film about a killer Paul Bunyan will be fun (it better be ::shakes fist at sky::) so here is a cool trailer that proves my knowledge! Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan will be filled to the brim with axe killings and a giant dude in flannel. If looks funtastic from that trailer!

Shockingly, this is not a SyFy original film, but is getting VOD release and possibly a limited theatrical showing! Gary Jones directs, and Joe Estevez, Dan Haggerty, Tom Downey, Tim Lovelace, Jesse Kove, and Chris Hahn star. No word on if the Brawny Guy made it into the final cut.

AXE GIANT: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan – is a dark, contemporary take on the tall tale. Kids at a first-time offenders’ boot camp discover the legend of lumberjack Paul Bunyan is real, but is much more horrifying than they could have imagined. They incur the wrath of the 15-foot monstrous giant, who was banished from town 100 years ago and thought dead.

Maybe we can get a sequel where Pecos Bill takes on Paul Bunyan, then they team up to take down Johnny Appleseed!

via DreadCentral

Axe Giant Paul Bunyan

Marvel Godzilla #3 cover

Godzilla #3 (October 1977)


Marvel Godzilla #3

The Champions arrive and immediately try to squash some cops!


Godzilla #3 – A Tale of Two Saviors (October 1977)
Writer – Doug Moench
Artists – Herb Trimpe
Editor – Archie Goodwin

Godzilla vs. the Champions! Godzilla continues his West Coast Domination Tour with a visit to the Bay Area, but at usual things don’t go smoothly.

Godzilla shows up in San Francisco Bay and people just start shooting him, so Godzilla gets angry. How annoying it must be to constantly being shot at by annoying tiny things.

Meanwhile in LA, The Champions are hanging at their headquarters. You remember The Champions, right? As a reminder, they are Hercules, Black Widow, Ice Man, Angel, Ghost Rider, and Dark Star. Even weirder, Ghost Rider and Dark Star are out goofing off or something, and don’t even show up in this issue! The 66.67% of The Champions that are in this issue of Godzilla notice the commotion on the news and decide that since they’re it for the West Coast, they got to go help! Hercules even says “By the cloven hooves of Pan!” when he sees Godzilla.

They get to work trying to fight Big G. At one point Hercules flips Godzilla!

Godzilla gets mad…

Tony Stark shows up finally (after being yakked about for the past two issues) as he meet the Japanese crew (and Woo) in Detroit at his weapons plant. They begin making their secret weapon.

Marvel Godzilla #3

Hercules basically causes the deaths of dozens of people this issue!


The Champions and Dum Dum get into a turf war as the super heroes are in the way of SHIELD and their efforts to try to capture Godzilla.

The chaos from the two sides bumping heads allows Godzilla to trash the Golden Gate Bridge after electric nets dropped on him miss. Hercules tosses a chunk of the bridge at Godzilla, but hits the SHIELD Helicarrier by mistake. It crashes into the bay!

At this point Godzilla is just standing around gawking at the idiots causing trouble. Then Godzilla wanders off, while the two sides go home to sulk, the Champions realizing they need to work better as a team, and SHIELD trying to figure out how to fix their flying vessel.

It’s refreshing to see a super hero team up where not only do the two sides not like each other, their antagonism actually makes things much worse.

This issue was the first issue of Godzilla I read, picking it up cheap in a longbox as a kid. It stayed in my collection for a few years before I got some more issues. Speaking of more issues, we will have more issues of the Godzilla Marvel comic as March of Godzilla 2013 continues!

Marvel Godzilla #3

Is it any wonder The Champions was cancelled?

Go the F**K To Sleep becomes the F**k a movie!

Go The F**k To Sleep

That damn kid never goes to bed, but he does get a movie deal done. Yes, the children’s book that isn’t really a children’s book Go the F**K To Sleep has been optioned to be a movie because Lord knows why. Fox 2000 will be the geniuses bringing us this feature adaptation of Adam Mansbach’s book (illustrations by Ricardo Cortes). Ken Marin and Erica Oyama Marino will be doing the script, under producer Karen Rosenfelt, of Twilight fame.

If you recall, the book was #1 a month before it released because everyone was emailed copies to each other. I’m sure Fox 2000 will be thrilled if history repeats itself with copies of the finished film!

Here is the Samuel L. Jackson read version that everyone knows about:

via Deadline

For the Triumph of Evil Sleepy Hollow

Asylum gives us the Age of Dinosaurs!


It’s time once again to be made happy by The Asylum, as they give us yet another crazetacular monster feature. Age of Dinosaurs is like Jurassic Park 2, except without all that disappointment because we’re expecting the camp!

Using breakthrough flesh-regeneration technology, a biotech firm creates a set of living dinosaurs. But when the creatures escape their museum exhibit and terrorize Los Angeles, a former firefighter must rescue his teenage daughter from the chaos brought on by the Age of Dinosaurs.

Joseph Lawson directs a Hank Woon Jr. script. Treat Williams and Ronny Cox star, along with Jillian Rose Reed and Roger Lim. Official site link. Age of Dinosaurs will drop May 7th! Until then, you have plenty of time to guess the age of these dinosaurs. Remember: some of these dinosaurs dye their hair, so lack of grey doesn’t automatically mean they are young!
Age of Dinosaurs

For the Triumph of Evil Sleepy Hollow

Gatchaman teaser and images

Gatchaman

Gatchaman (ガッチャマン) is a live-action film based on the long-running anime series (the US version were known as Battle of the Planets, G-Force, and Eagle Riders) that will be released August 24, 2013. A teaser trailer was just dropped, along with an image containing character bio information for the main five team members. Basically, Gatchaman is like a Power Rangers Captain Planet.

Set in the near future in Tokyo, Japan. The evil terrorist organization Galactor has declared war on the world. The group possesses more advanced technology than governments and occupies over half of the planet. Dr. Kozaburo Nambu of the International Science Organization gathers together 5 superhero ninja agents, known collectively as Gatchaman, to stop Galactor.

Starring:
Tori Matsuzaka as Eagle Ken
Go Ayano as Condor Joe
Ayame Gouriki as Swan Jun
Tatsuomi Hamada as Swallow Jinpei
Ryohei Suzuki as Owl Ryu


Gatchaman