Golden Bat

Break out the folding chairs of the dead for Pro-Wrestlers vs Zombies!

Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies

Pro-Wrestlers vs. Zombies was funded through Kickstarter last year and has proceeded to the point where trailers are showing up.

The film features a number of popular wrestler entertainers playing themselves during a zombie apocalypse that goes down. This basically means we get to see wrestlers wrestle zombies in the ring. So if you are a wrasslin’ fan or a zombie fan, then you will be interested. If you are both, you will be very interested. If you are neither, you may still be interested because this is rather odd and maybe it will be cool.

Pro-Wrestlers vs Zombies is written and directed by Cody Knotts, and features Rowdy Roddy Piper, Shane Douglas, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Matt Hardy, Kurt Angle, Reby Sky, and Tara Parker. And zombies. Lots of zombies.

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Giant God Warrior Appears In Tokyo!


OMG!!! The exclamation point at the end of the title is well deserved!

It has been confirmed that “Kyoshinhei Tokyo ni Arawaru (Giant God Warriors Appear in Tokyo”, a short Tokusatsu (special effects) movie created by Studio Ghibli and originally screened in theatres alongside “Evangelion 3.0 You Can (Not) Redo” will be included on the “Evangelion 3.33” Blu Ray/DVD released on 24 April 2013.

“Kyoshinhei Tokyo ni Arawaru” (Giant God Warriors Appear in Tokyo) is a short Tokusatsu movie created as a promotional video for the “TOKUSATSU – Special Effects Exhibition” at “TOKUSATSU – Special Effects Museum”, which has Anno Hideaki (Eva’s director) as museum director, in Museum of Contemporary Art Tokyo. The movie was proposed to be shown with “Evangelion 3.0” by Suzuki Toshio and Anno Hideaki agreed with that. As a movie version, its pictures and sounds will we re-modified and it has the total length of 10:07 minutes. The movie features “Kyoshinhei” (Giant God Warriors) from “Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind” and it was made to show the fascination and the fun of Miniature Tokusatsu.

via oh-totoro

Giant God Warrior Tokyo

Eat a sandwich!

Sleepy Hollow Lesser Key Solomon

A new Wild Things may be about Amanda Knox, weird stuff

Wild things

These are not Amanda Knox


Wild Things spawned three direct to video sequels that are various degrees of copies of the original. Wild Things 2 was okay, while Wild Things 3 was much better (and was the first mega-popular review on TarsTarkas.NET, racking up over half a million hits!) Wild Things 4 basically had a foursome instead of a threesome for the signature sex scene all of the Wild Things movies have. That’s about all I know about it, because even I stopped caring. But the time to not not care has returned, because there might be a new Wild Things movie called Wild Child Things and it sounds all sorts of messed up. Wild Things director John McNaughton and writer Stephen Peters have collaborated and came up with…well…

“It’s not one of the sequels, but about their children,” he says. OK, that sounds odd, but just wait. It gets real crazy. “Do you know the Amanda Knox case? It’s something like that. Something that’s like the child of Suzie Toller [Campbell’s character], she claimed that Matt Dillon’s [character] had raped her a long time ago and maybe there is a child and maybe Bill Murray’s character had a child and they’re exchange students and things get out of hand.”

Yeah. Okay. Well, hopefully this get made, because, why the heck not? I demand it!

via Hollywood

Sleepy Hollow Lesser Key Solomon

Kingdom of the Spiders boldy goes to RiffTrax VOD!

That’s right, the Shatner jokes are right off the bat, because this RiffTrax will be filled to the brim with them! The newest RiffTrax VOD is Kingdom of the Spiders, and it’s one I’ve actually seen, but long ago back in the days of watching films on the local UHF station! So long ago I barely remember anything except it was weird and Captain Kirk never met up with Mr. Spock, which annoyed me as a child who was unaware that actors played roles and not themselves. And by child, I mean last week… Damn you, Kirk!

Captain Kirk. T.J. Hooker. Twilight Zone plane guy. Johnny Legal (presumably his name on Boston Legal, didn’t bother to check).The Dad Who Says Sh*t. All great characters, sure, but William Shatner will always be best known for one role, and one role alone: RACK. Rural veterinary doctor Robert “Rack” Hansen, of course, he of the inexplicable nickname, fondness for cowboy hats, and habit of hitting on his brother’s widow by saying he’d like to “milk her.” A lesser man would’ve stopped with Rack, his legacy complete. Such a great, internationally beloved part, it’s a testament to Shatner’s skill as an actor that he’s escaped its shadow, the Kingdom of the Spiders conventions and catchphrases and reboots, and become known for more than just Rack. RACK. Rack. No seriously, he has people call him Rack and he thinks he’s a sexy cowboy. Rack.

Animals and people are dying of spider venom in Rack’s sleepy Arizona town, and when he and a foxy out-of-towner discover a gigantic hill of venomous spiders on a local farm they somehow don’t immediately make the connection, burn it down, and end the movie. What unfolds is a creeping, ridiculous, town-destroying horror, packed with more real live tarantulas than the basement home of that spooky pale guy who sold drugs outside your high school.

Rack up, put on your spider-stompiest shoes, and join Mike, Bill, and Kevin in the Kingdom of the Spiders!

RiffTrax kingdom of the spiders

And if you feel the need for some shorts, the exciting drunk driving scare film The Day I Died will keep you from drunk driving ever, because you’ll kill yourself!

Big Bad Sis

Big Bad Sis

aka 沙膽英 aka Sa daam ying

1976
Written by Sze-To On
Directed by Sun Chung

Big Bad Sis
Shaw Brothers gives us a tale of bad girl factory workers! It is an interesting spin on the delinquent schoolgirl approach, having the girls just out of school and holding down jobs, but still being delinquent. Big Bad Sis is an interesting hybrid, because it’s an action film with clear influences from the Japanese Sukeban/Pinky violence flicks, but it’s also a Hong Kong Triad film and manages to throw in some left wing pro-labor and pro-women’s rights issues. With just enough exploitation to satisfy those who need that as well. Big Bad Sis may be a stew made from many random ingredients, but they work together to give an entertaining flick.
Big Bad Sis
Big Bad Sis shows that sometimes you gotta fight. Whether it is for your job or to protect innocent people in the bathroom or because of crazy triad gambling den drama or because your boss is a piece of garbage or all of those reasons combined into a gigantic reason. A bid bad reason, which is why you need your sisters!

Fung Ying (Chen Ping) – Ah Ying is the tough as nails former gangster turned factory worker who defends the innocent and becomes friends with her fellow oppressed factory workers, even forming her own sort of gang. But her past begins to catch up with her.
Sai Chu (Siu Yam-Yam) – An orphan raised in the system, and then released where she starts biking around nude and stabbing people. Becomes Ah Ying’s biggest fan and a tough chick in her own right.
Chan Fong (Chong Lee) – A young girl with naughty stepfather who runs away from home to get away from his wandering hands. Her looks make her a target of everyone with awing hands, but her new gang affiliation allows her to be able to stand up and fight back.
Big Brother Dai Gi-Luk (Wang Hsieh) – Gang leader who used to employ/date Ah Ying, and is bitter about her leaving. Sends his goons to harass her.
Brother Shing (Chen Kuan-Tai) – Old friend of Ah Ying who defends her from Big Brother’s men.
Wai (Wong Chung) – One of Big Brother’s gang, but a friend of Ah Ying. He won’t renounce his boss despite his feelings for her.

Big Bad Sis

I keep saying Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!

Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!

He came for the discount nail salon!


Men in ridiculous rubber monster suit films are always the best movies ever, so that already makes Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You! awesome before we get to the funny title and campy styles. If anything, we need so many dudes in rubber monster suits that they start fighting each other and ignoring the screaming humans, who then tire of screaming and just sit and watch the carnage. Then they’re eaten by the winners! But enough about my dumb ideas, let’s talk about Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!

A vicious monster has arisen from its watery lair! It’s the Riverbeast, and he’s threatening a peaceful New England town. Local tutor Neil Stuart has seen the beast before, but nobody believed his story, making him the town laughingstock. Neil sets out not only to prove that the Riverbeast exists but also, with the help of his beautiful pupil, scrappy tutor buddies, and a former professional athlete, to vanquish the aquatic menace!

Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You! is an all-new movie from the makers of Freaky Farley and Monsters, Marriage, and Murder in Manchvegas. It’s directed by Charles Roxburgh and stars Matt Farley, Sharon Scalzo, Kevin McGee, Elizabeth Peterson, Tiffany L’Heureux, Bryan Fortin, Chris Peterson, Millhouse G, Jim Farley, Jim McHugh, and Tom Scalzo as Teddy Hollingsworth.

Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You! is available for preorders on Amazon.com right now (affiliate link), and is due out May 21st!

via DreadCentral
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Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!