Ben Affleck is YOUR new Batman!

Ben Affleck Hollywoodland

Actual photo of Ben Affleck as Batman!

The internet reacted in shocked outrage when Ben Affleck was announced as the new Batman in the upcoming Superman vs Batman film. Confused, netizens didn’t know what to do, many panicked and declared this the worst decision ever. Luckily, a few clever people realized that Ben Affleck actually has some talent and could give a great portrayal as a seasoned caped crusader. And there is the extra bonus that now the entire Kevin Smith View Askewniverse can be set in the DC universe. Riddle on that!

You cannot deny that Affleck has talent. He’s got golden statues, a super hero pedigree, and he was the bomb in Phantoms, yo! And even with whatever problems I have with Snyder as a director, Affleck is a much better director and can bring out performances in himself that a less talented director might not be able to do. I also expect the Daredevil movie will finally get the love it deserves, even though it is ridiculous. Heck, there might be a whole rundown on Affleck’s canon by bored sites that already did the Batman retrospective last year before The Dark Knight Returns. There is nothing movie sites like to do more than launch giant series that won’t be concluded that pretend to look at things from a brand new viewpoint while aping the same perspectives found in any discussion thread about the film on the internet.

The real fun for a guy like me will be reading the tears of impotent rage from fanboys, then the tears of impotent rage against the fanboys, and finally reading the Sharknado of impotent rage against the world as society collapses because everyone was arguing about Batman as the economy nose dived off a cliff again.

Now if you excuse me, I have 30 Ben Affleck films to watch…

Bill and Coo

Epic Chick Fight – Stunt Women recreate Chicken Fight from Family Guy


Hey, remember those super long fights with the chick that Peter Griffen would get into back when you still watched Family Guy? Which is still on the air somehow? Well, a group of stunt women did an Indiegogo campaign and raised cash to do their own recreation of the fight, and the results are now live on the web. Watch as two women beat the tar out of each other as special effects effect all around them! Stunt women Jessie Graff and Tree O’Toole battle it out, and the result is amazing!

Facebook
via DailyDot

Epic Chick Fight

Epic Chick Fight

Bill and Coo

Vampire Academy: Blood Sisters drops trailer



Vampire Academy: Blood Sisters has dropped a trailer. It’s based on the first book in the Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead. Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry, and Danila Kozlovsky play the three leads Rose Hathaway, Lissa Dragomir, and Dimitri Belikov. As you can see, there will be a bunch of fangs and biting and teenage girls and throwing, making this look just like True Blood Twilight instead of its own distinct thing..

Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, half human/vampire, guardians of the Moroi, peaceful, mortal vampires living discretely within our world. Her legacy is to protect the Moroi from bloodthirsty, immortal Vampires, the Strigoi. This is her story.

Also LOL at Mark Waters and Daniel Waters plastering their names all over this, despite their having nothing to do with the novels and no one cares about either of you after Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. Heck, most Mean Girls fans won’t even recognize your name.

For those not down with your YA lit, the six Vampire Academy books are by Richelle Mead, and there is a six-book spinoff series called Bloodlines that’s currently in the middle of being published.

Vampire Academy: Blood Sisters hits theaters February 14, 2014.

via Facebook

Vampire Academy

Vampire Academy

Bill and Coo

Starship Troopers RiffTrax Live Trip Report

RiffTrax Starship Troopers

RiffTrax beamed across America and also some other strange country called Canada to give the world some of the fruits of their Kickstarter, a RiffTrax of Starship Troopers. Disclaimer: I donated to said Kickstarter, which was originally meant to try to snag the film Twilight. You can find my internet name on the thank you page. I was joined as is usual at the theater events by Todd from Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill!,

As per usual, the preshow featured funny trivia cards and word jumbles (My favorite being the Magneto/Cerebro jumble!) The show began on the Starship Troopers-themed set, and unlike the usual shows, we jump right into the movie without shorts (the film is long enough there probably wasn’t any time)

Mike, Kevin, and Bill also thanked the cast of Starship Troopers that have been helping promote the event (and a few watching in theaters), including Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer, Denise Richards, Jake Busey, Neil Patrick Harris, and Clancy Brown, along with please for them not to be mad or want to murder them later. As of yet, no member of RiffTrax has been found dead.

We all know the classic story of Starship Troopers – in a crazy fascist future, teenage models battle killer bugs and blood and guts fly everywhere. Verhoeven is a big fan of the blood and guts, and also of extremely ridiculous violence (one only has to look at his filmography to catch this!)

The ridiculous violence no one seemed to have a problem with. However, there is the famous coed nude shower sequence, which seemed like sort of a weird thing to be riffing over. Thus, it got hit with a skit for a Gorilla-gram! Which was weird and didn’t work that well. Maybe next time there is a RiffTrax film with lots of gonzo nudity we’ll get a different way to deal with it. Like just showing it, as they showed some of the nudity later. Or bring back the two Gorilla-grams, that seemed to work!

Quips were usually on point, with lots of references to past and future output from the cast. There was even a The Dog Who Save Christmas Vacation joke, showing a strong ability to look at IMDB links. Among the great bits was a sequence with the ferret, the pointing out how often the movie’s dialogue is just “Move!”, the Airplane! reference, and the very true slam on AT&T. I would rate Starship Troopers as among the best of the RiffTrax Live shows, maybe bested only by Manos (and the Daredevil one I saw actually live, which always win for me meeting Bill, Mike, and Kevin!)

There was minor controversy among a few disgruntled sourpusses who thought that doing a RiffTrax of a film that had satirical elements was somehow the worst thing that happened in the entire universe. This view was shocking, even as a big fan of Starship Troopers. Do people not know the movie is still ridiculous? I hold the view that you can RiffTrax anything (and there is a RiffTrax audio for Casablanca!), and Starship Troopers lends itself easily to that role. It’s not like you have to be a rocket surgeon to detect the satirical elements in a film where characters are literally wearing Nazi uniforms.

This RiffTrax Live will not be released as a separate digital download/DVD, so I was glad I was able to see it. There will be an audio file released eventually that will be able to synch with a copy of Starship Troopers, for a similar but not quite the same experience at your home.

Next up on RiffTrax Live is the original Night of the Living Dead.

Deadliest Prey – The Deadly Prey sequel hits preorder!

Deadliest Prey

Did you know they were making a sequel to the cult action film Deadly Prey? Well, now you know that they already did and are taking preorders! Deadliest Prey promises more of the same crazy action

If you’ve never seen Deadly Prey, then you need to get beaten upside the head! That film rules and it crazy at the same time. That’s very hard to pull off! David A. Prior directs a take on The Most Dangerous Game starring his brother Ted Prior as a Rambo-like ex-soldier who was just looking to relax and wear tiny shorts before being kidnapped and forced to fight. And soon everyone dies!

Now Ted Prior is back and more will die.

Colonel Hogan (David Campbell), still alive and just getting out of prison on parole, some 28 years later. But he has only one thing in mind and that is revenge on Mike Danton. So once again, Hogan puts together a group of mercenaries, has Danton kidnapped, and the games begin. Only this time Hogan is funded by a huge internet company in exchange for broadcasting the hunting of Danton over the internet, worldwide. And even though Thornton (Fritz Matthews) had his arm cut off and was scalped in the first movie, he does appear in this movie and is as much the sadistic killer as he was before.

For Hogan, winning is everything. Proving that there can only be one best and that it is him. What he had not thought of is that he isn’t the only one who had twenty eight years to get pissed off. Because now Mike Danton is pissed off and that means few will survive.

Preorder now and get an autographed DVD!

Zu Warriors From Magic Mountain

Neill Blomkamp to bring us Chappie

Robot Fortune Teller

This robot fortune teller image has nothing to do with Chappie. But it should…


Fresh of Elysium‘s okay but not spectacular number one debut at $30 million, Neill Blomkamp has announced his next project, and it’s not the long-rumored District 10 (though there is a short treatment that exists!) Chappie will be a story of a robot that has AI, and is stolen by criminals who want to use him for bad things. Blomkamp wrote the script with his wife, Terri Tatchell, and describes the film as “RoboCop, but hilarious. If you mixed Robocop with E.T. and it was… funny, that’s what it is.” Blomkamp also says there isn’t any socio-politcal messages, but that the film deals with sentience. (Which could have socio-political messages…)

Chappie will be lower-budgeted and also sees the return of Blomkamp to South Africa. Sharlto Copley will voice Chappie, and the two criminals will be played by Ninja and Yolandi Visser, the two members of the South African rap-rave duo Die Antwoord.

Via LA Times
Robot Fortune Teller image via