Godzilla Marvel 18 cover

Godzilla #18 (January 1979)


Godzilla Marvel 18

How About a Little Fire, Scarecrow?


Godzilla #18 – Fugitive in Manhattan! (January 1979)
Writer – Doug Moench
Penciler – Herb Trimpe
Editor – Archie Goodwin
Godzilla Marvel 18

Who hired Chevy Chase to carry the cage???


Last issue, Godzilla was shrunk down to size and captured by a butterfly net. Now, Godzilla awaits his fate, except that he escapes and fights a rat in the sewer. It’s Godzilla #18!

If you need a Marvel Godzilla rewind, check out the Godzilla Marvel Splash Page, and don’t forget to check out all of March of Godzilla 2013, which is the month-long event that lasts a year!

In a Real Moments of Genius™ moment, the heroes decide to take the shrunken Godzilla – who could grow to full size at any moment – to New York, the biggest city in America. And they can’t give him more shrink gas because he’ll either get immune to it or die (neither things seem to bother Henry Pym, but whatever…) This is among the worst decisions in civilian casualties history, right up with Transformers driving the All Spark to downtown LA.

But it’s far from the worst thing that happens in this issue, or even the beginning of this issues. New character and complete dolt Dr Hawkins drops Godzilla’s cage while disembarking, and Godzilla falls out and into the bay!

D’oh!

Robert says he was in a daze so he doesn’t know if he opened the cage. Not that it matters, because if the cage didn’t open, Godzilla would be drowned. Now he’s just escaped and running around New York City as a Mini-Me version of himself.

Tiny Godzilla spooks a cab driver! Tiny Godzilla runs into the sewer!

Godzilla battles a rat in the sewer!

This is presented as an epic battle, with the rat treated as any other monstrous Godzilla foe. And like all Godzilla foes, the rat is dead!

Robert escapes from the Behemoth to help look for Godzilla. He finds him just in time for the shrink ray to wear off! Just a bit. Now Robert and Godzilla are the same size. For great fun!

Tune in next issue, as Godzilla and Robert have an exciting time in dangerous 1970s New York City!

Godzilla Marvel 18

That rat has spent years getting revenge on the business executive who moved his cheese!

Stealth Sex Fiend

The Stealth Sex Fiend

The Stealth Sex Fiend

aka 隱形淫魔之勇擒貴利雙柴 aka Invisible Erotomania
Stealth Sex Fiend
2003
Written and directed by ???

Invisible dudes love reading porn!

People ask me all the time “Tars, why do you watch those terrible cheap foreign softcore films that have no redeeming value and are terrible and bad and terrible? Also, where can I get a copy?” And I like to remind myself and the world that even these terrible terrible films have value. These films say things, show things, and reveal much about relationships and gender roles in their country of origin (as well as what country’s porn is influencing them!) that regular budgeted cinema fails to do. While many of those films operate under a layer of characters and nuance and meaning, some of these softcore flicks are just a stripped-down raw look into their culture. Many are terrible because they have no money, but also because they show things that are terrible. I’m not saying that The Stealth Sex Fiend has some sort of double-secret true meaning of life, or that watching smut will change the world. But it might just make someone understand things somewhere a tiny bit more. And that’s not so bad, is it?

What do you do when you want to make a movie starring some ugly dude going invisible and getting his rape on when you got no money? You have him wear a goofy purple bodysuit and give it wavy effects! Sure, it doesn’t work at all, but you do have one of the creepiest softcore sex scenes ever.

Stealth Sex Fiend

Suddenly a Fringe Festival breaks out!


Okay, I’ll level with you, I watched this only because I heard the effects for the invisibility were ridiculous, and I was not disappointed. Imagine a guy in a purple bodysuit and some video toasters swirly effects that try to make it look all Predator-vision. Even though Predator-vision makes no sense for how someone is invisible. The only half-way decent thing that happened in this film was the ending, which will be spoiled, because if anyone cares what happens at the end of The Stealth Sex Fiend, then you deserve to be launched into the sun.

Our Hero (in that he heroically turns invisible to rape women while his girlfriend is kidnapped) is murdered by said kidnapped girlfriend in retaliation for him abandoning her. As Our Hero was a disgusting idiot, it is a joyous thing to watch him be killified dead. A happy ending that we deserved for sitting through this junk.

Stealth Sex Fiend

Who would have thought Predator vs.The Blue Man Group would be so boring?


The Stealth Sex Fiend is a film that it’s hard to find any real information on in English. Everything is the same two-three copy/pasted synopses that don’t even agree on the English name of the title, and even the HKMDB has not bothered giving an entry. It’s a film that people would rather be forgotten, a film that is just terrible and depicts terrible acts. A film that turned on its own main character. Back when nudie cutie films were first being shown, there was a subgenre known as roughies, which featured the nudity but also people being killed. The situation was that because they couldn’t show sexual release, the release of all the pent up feelings of the audience was depicted by characters being killed. The Stealth Sex Fiend inadvertently follows this point in a modified manner, the pent up terribleness becomes a force that has to be unleashed, killing the main character, otherwise people would just go bonkers. I’m talking end of the world scenario here. The Stealth Sex Fiend both inadvertently caused and then prevented the end of us all. It is one of those scary things that no one will ever know about except a few brave souls who watched a terrible movie about a invisible rapist who was really purple.

We can’t find a reliable cast list, and you better believe there wasn’t any subtitles. But at TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Stealth Sex Fiend

I will give the women in this movie credit: They do keep clean!


Guy (???) – Our hero, to ugly and lazy to get a job, but not to buy weirdo sex pills from a shady guy. Doesn’t really care for his girlfriend.
Invisible Guy (???) – He’s invisible! I certainly can’t see him, and neither can you. Invisibility gives him the boldness to do things he wouldn’t do if he wasn’t in a purple bodysuit. I mean, if he wasn’t invisible. Because he’s totally invisible.
Sui-Fong (???) – The girlfriend of the main character, she spends most of her time either working out or being kidnapped. Is not fond of being left at the kidnappers’ place by a jerk boyfriend.
Narrator (???) – Narrates out story and sells weirdo sex pills to the main character, thus propelling the story forward. Was this whole movie just an elaborate ruse for Narrator to kill of the main character and collect a life insurance policy? I have no proof, but I say yes!
Stealth Sex Fiend

Somehow I don’t think this is the guy’s apartment…

My PS Partner

My PS Partner

My PS Partner

aka 나의 P.S. 파트너 aka Naui P.S. Pateuneo aka Whatcha Wearin’?
My PS Partner
2012
Written by Byun Sung-Hyun, Kim Min-Soo, and Kim Soo-A
Directed by Byun Sung-Hyun

My PS Partner
Filthy talk with no filter mixed in a romantic comedy package gives us My PS Partner. But don’t be fooled, this film doesn’t lean on its frank sex talk, that’s just icing on the total package. The male character Hyun-seung is suffering from a recent breakup after seven years with the girl, complete with the mental trauma from all the highs and lows. Yoon-jung is coasting her way through her long relationship with a boyfriend who can’t be bothered to even propose after five years, and spends all his time at work (work sometimes being a female coworker’s vagina!) Her malaise as she follows the trajectory everyone and society has set for her is heartbreaking, and her fantasy sequences of actually standing up for herself just compound the sorrow.

Korean romantic comedies are one of my favorite genres, because they never just stick to romance and comedy, but their emotions run across the entire map. It’s not unusual for characters to be dealing with deep emotional trauma in between scenes of slapstick comedy. My PS Partner was on my radar while still filming thanks to the rumors it was going to be raunchy. It’s that in spades, but the portraits of the two damaged souls that are united by a simple misdial are vivid.
My PS Partner
In an attempt to spice up her love life (or at least get her boyfriend to stop spending all his time on spreadsheets), Yoon-jung calls him for some phone sex (the PS of My PS Partner) and demands he not talk, just listen. Thus some full-fledged sensual phone sex action takes place, except thanks to a misdial (Yoon-jung was unable to transfer her addressbook into her new phone and had to do them all manually) she instead dials Hyun-seung, who is confused and then thinks it is some sort of phone sex line.

What starts out as a misdialed phone call turns into much more as the two begin talking. Soon they become more connected, freed by the semi-anonymity afforded by the phone. Eventually they meet and get closer, but both of them are still on their own paths. It becomes apparent the two are meant to be together, but will that happen or will Yoon-jung sleepwalk her way into a terrible marriage and Hyun-seung live with regret? Also what color panties are you wearing?
My PS Partner

Hyun-Seung (Ji Sung) – Hyun-Seung first appears as strangely angry, though we quickly learn he’s recently broken up from a 7 year relationship with So-Yeon, and is not taking the fact she has a new (and successful!) boyfriend so fast very well. Hyun-Seung hits his bottom soon after getting the misdial from Yoon-Jung, and with her help begins putting his life in order.
Yoon-Jung (Kim A-Joong) – Yoon-Jung is first a voice on the phone, sexing up Hyun-Seung while mistaking him for Seung-Joon. But disappointment in her own personal life (as well as virtually being cut off from anyone to talk and share with) causes her to open up to Hyun-Seung during his drunk redial. The two bond over the shared pain of disappointment and frustration. But Yoon-Jung still stays with her man, who does nothing except the wrong thing, because she feels some sort of societal obligation.
So-Yeon (Shin So-Yul) – Hyun-Seung’s ex-girlfriend. The two dated for seven years, with So-Yeon often supporting Hyun-Seung and his unsuccessful singing career. The fights became too frequent, but the pair had real feelings and their relationship looms as a shadow over them both.
Seung-Joon (Kang Kyeong-Jun) – Yoon-Jung’s terrible boyfriend, who is too busy working, too busy being controlling, too busy cheating, and too busy not proposing. He’s a successful businessman and what Korean society says is an A+ choice, but he’s a real D – dull and a dick!

My PS Partner

Na Cha Seven Devils

RIP Giant Spider from The Giant Spider Invasion

Giant Spider Invasion

An American treasure =(


RIP Giant Spider from The Giant Spider Invasion. The historic movie icon, made from scrap metal welded to a Volkswagon Beetle chassis, has been rotting in a lot in Wisconsin – at a property on County Highway J between Irma and Gleason in Lincoln County. That is, until it disappeared, prompting a police investigation, news reports, and the sad news that Schultz Recycling in Merrill had taken parts of the vehicle as scrap metal weeks ago. Thus, the giant spider is dead, though it can take solace that it outlived many of its costars, even it it was nothing more than a rusty skeleton.

The Giant Spider Invasion was released in 1975. Directed by Bill Rebane, the film gained a new following when it was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Packers!

via WSAW

Na Cha Seven Devils

4CLOSED – Lifetime Movie Network brings foreclosure terror!

4closed jamie kennedy

Tonight (8-30-2013) is the premiere of 4CLOSED on Lifetime Movie Network. A happy couple buys a foreclosed home, only to find the previous owner is Jamie Kennedy! Worse yet, it’s a crazy Jamie Kennedy! Even more unbelievable, he’s a murderous stalker who wants his house back! Yes, screw the banksters, the real villains are their victims, who then lash out at innocent people who just want to buy a house. It’s Pacific Heights for the new millenium!

As this is Lifetime, we know it’s an evil man doing all this. Evil, evil men.

4CLOSED stars Marlee Matlin, Jamie Kennedy, Alex Frnka, and Paul Sorvino

Na Cha Seven Devils

Uwe Boll takes Postal 2 to Kickstarter

Uwe Boll Boxing

Which online critics will he beat up this time???


Having run out of Nazi gold and tax loops, Uwe Boll is turning to the next best thing: getting money for free! Thus, he’s taken his latest film, Postal 2, to Kickstarter to get some of that sweet sweet crowdsourcing dollar! $500,000 to be exact. Now, Postal is considered by some to be Boll’s best movie, because he went balls deep on the offensive-o-meter. Myself, I’ve been too far jaded by the internet to get offended at much of anything anymore, and honestly haven’t bothered to watch much of Boll’s output (though I hear he’s improved and even made Assault on Wall Street – the only movie with the stones to blame the actual people behind the economic meltdown!)

Boll knows he’s considered a joke hack and isn’t taking this serious at all:

About the Movie

POSTAL 2 will finally destroy the filmindustry and the world we are living in. We could name the movie also HONEY BOOBOO must die ….but so many people deserve to die. Why starting with a child? Did Osama die? We know. And why the Navy Seals were too stupid to land a helicopter on a free field? Why did Building 6 collapse? We explain. Why is Obama is like Bush? We show you.

Where the money goes

The money goes all for cocaine for the stars down the nose.

Honesty is refreshing.

Now this:

POSTAL 2 will be a controversial comedy in which we take up current political issues. We take the biggest scandals of our democracy, like the happenings about Julien Assange and Edward Snowdon and show that there is no difference between our democracy and the prison camps in Russia or China. We show that through this massive monitoring our communication data is not safe anymore! We want to make a movie which is totally uncensored, pointed against everything and everybody, against every political party and every religion. There will be no survivors.

Promises something big, but can Boll deliver? Probably not, but if you like to give money to see a man try, you can Kickstarter the heck out of him.