The Cheating Pact cribs onto Lifetime!

The Cheating Pact

Wait, it’s still cheating even if I don’t get caught??!


In The Cheating Pact, high schoolers conspire to cheat to get good test scores. But someone ends up dead and another framed. What to do? The answer should be…to cheat death! But it’s not because someone was asleep at the switch. So the plot:

Three high school students, Heather, Kylie, and Jordan, under pressure from their parents to get into good colleges, convince a shy but very smart girl, Meredith, to take the College Entrance Test for them. After Meredith gets a low score on one of the tests, she winds up dead in a mysterious accident, and now all three kids are suspects in her murder. Heather soon finds that she is being framed for Meredith’s murder by the other two and must team up with her mother, Brenda, to prove her innocence.

Don’t these kids know they should have joined a Cheaters’ Club instead? Oh, wait, that turned out bad as well…

My favorite part of the trailer on MyLifetime is that one of the guys looks like a rejected Taylor Lautner clone.

The Cheating Pact stars Daniela Bobadilla, Cynthia Gibb, Paula Trickey, Jamie Luner, Laura Slade Wiggins, Bruce Thomas, Max Carver, and Laura Samuels. It airs September 28th, and remember that this is the final film of the Watch and Win Sweepstakes where you can be bribed to watch Lifetime Channel!

Temptress of 1000 Faces

Cookie Monster is a super spy in The Spy Who Loved Cookies!

I was not joking when I said I was looking for excuses to talk about Cookie Monster.

The nefarious Lady Finger has stolen the Crown Cookies! Only Agent Double-Stuffed Seven, aka Cookie Monster, can save the day…if he bothers to listen to directions! Featuring computer effects, Bond song riffs, and Cookie Monster running into doors.

A funny parody that has a lesson to be learned about following instructions. Helped by Cookie’s boss telling him the directions in such a complicated way! Good grief, be more direct, please. The skit was longer than I thought it would be, I am guessing because they were so happy to cram as much as possible that they could.

Cookie Monster has been in increasing visibility as the new season of Sesame Street starts. The scandal with Elmo/Kevin Clash is probably the main reason, Cookie Monster is another visible monster alternative that adults and children love. No offense to Zoey or Abby Cadabby, but I didn’t grow up with them and have less emotional attachment. My children will, and I would expect them to gain some prominence this season and possibly used in some of the promotional material going into next year (and maybe the new Elmo, but I’ve never been 100% fond of Elmo!) Other monsters have various problems: Grover is rather intense and was eclipsed by Elmo far too much. Two-Headed Monster is mainly about cooperation and speaks mostly gibberish. Harry is rarely used despite him being a favorite of mine as a kid. Telly is too Telly to be in many ads. Oscar would be cool, but his attitude limits the scope of the parodies. And some of the classic Sesame Street performers must be getting up there in years.

Now, with all the vampires in the media, why isn’t The Count more prominent? I demand more Count! Also Oscar’s pet worm Slimey. He’s a worm named Slimey, people!

Sorry, here are a bunch of stills I took from the video because it’s too awesome not to take many stills from:

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Temptress of 1000 Faces

Atlas Shrugged mooches its way to a third installment!

Disco Stu trends

If there is one group of people who demonstrate time and time again they have no concept of the Free Market, it is libertarians. Despite lack of banking regulation destroying the world’s economy, they call for less regulation. Glorious Libertopia would feature for-profit schools, for-profit police, for-profit military, and for-profit everyone having nukes. And, yet, none of this libertarian heroes bothered to move to Somalia when there was no government there. I wonder why…

The Free Market has told the film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged to go take a hike not once, but twice! Both times, the films bombed, obviously due to Obama and the liberal media spreading lies about Atlas Shrugged. It certainly isn’t because the films are ridiculous, the story God-awful, and the ideology bankrupt and disgusting.

So doing what any good fighters against beggars and parasites would do, Atlas Shrugged has turned to Kickstarter to get Part III in theaters in time to lose money before the 2014 election.

The producers are quick to point out that they aren’t asking for the full amount, no! They only want $250,000 to supplement the $10 million budget. First of all, $10 million my foot! Someone is skimming off the top or inflating the budget (probably both!) Secondly, the $250,000 goal is stated to just be for the free publicity that Kickstarter provides. Now, Kickstarter provides no free publicity, but blog posts making fun of this action do. So in a small way, I am helping Atlas Shrugged Part III out. But in a realistic way, I’m not, because most people who drop by TarsTarkas.NET aren’t Libertarians who would be unaware that the Atlas Shrugged Kickstarter is underway. The news of the third film will have been promoted all over Wingnut websites across the WWW, in between the latest stories of how Obama did 9-11 because he’s an Illegal Communist Nazi Muslim and screaming diatribes to shut down the government, except for that Social Security money we all rely on.

Wingnut Welfare is a real phenomenon, and the producers of Atlas Shrugged must be exceptionally bad at it to require a final dose of free money directly from the rubes. Heck, even Joe the Plumber somehow has managed to make a nice existence off of free money from billionaires. This means the producers burned some very powerful bridges either through incompetence or just terrible interpersonal skills. Again, probably both.

Atlas Shrugged: Who is John Galt?
(the official title) has no announced cast despite a fall 2013 filming date. People looking at your calendars might note that it is currently fall 2013. As the original film had almost the entire main cast replaced for the first sequel, I think we shall see a repeat of that phenomenon.

Atlas Shrugged Part I made $4.6 million on a $20 million budget. Atlas Shrugged Part II made $3.3 million on a $10 million budget. If these trends continue, I suggest investing your money in disco record sales like Disco Stu says!

Producer Harmon Kaslow says “The day we launch the Kickstarter campaign, haters are going to come alive. They’re going to come after us in droves, attacking us everywhere online.”

To Mr. Kaslow I say “Hi!”

Kickstarter intentionally not linked.

Via HollywoodReporter

Surely you can't want to visit Wisconsin!

Airplane Wisconsin tourism

I do want to visit Wisconsin, and don’t call me Shirley! Thus Airplane! is back in the news thanks to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Robert Hays agreeing to star in a video for the Wisconsin Department of Tourism. And never fear, inflatable pilot Otto has returned as well (this is a brand new Otto, as the original has long disintegrated. RIP Otto.) Otto now has a cheesehead hat, because this is Wisconsin. Airplane! creators Jerry Zucker, David Zucker, and Jim Abrahams are all from Wisconsin, thus explaining things.

I grew up in Illinois, so I am familiar with Wisconsin travel commercials, and this will be an improvement! Will they mention the Dells? A mystery to be solved once the commercial airs.

So far the video isn’t online yet, but expect it to make the round on all the blogs that copy content from reddit once it does!

via Today

Na Cha Seven Devils

Use Adblock to block those Around the Web sites (Outbrain, Taboola, Zergnet)

Has this ever happened to you? You go to your favorite site, click on an interesting article, scroll down, and are soon bombarded with crappy ads from “Around the Web” that are borderline NSFW and mentally insulting? It seems every site is employing Outbrain, Taboola, or Zergnet to deliver your terrible content in java applets that jam up your browser. Heck, Outbrain was even hacked by Syrian hackers, who then redirected pages of The Washington Post, Time, and CNN to their own pages.

The articles linked are usually the basest form of linkbait. Top ## lists, behind the scenes “secrets”, celebrity gossip, Miley twerking, women wearing tiny bikinis (or less!). The ones on the entertainment sites I frequent always have an article about Batman, another about a Marvel movie, and often untrue casting rumors. They are, quite frankly, embarrassing and ugly. I hate them, and I want them dead.

As luck would have it, AdBlock can kill those terrible thing! No more “Around the Web” features and Top 7 Miley Twerking Batman Diets. So here is how:

The Outbrain/Taboola/Zergnet scourge looks like this:
block around the web

If you use Chrome (Firefox instructions below, they are almost identical), the adblock is set up here as default. Click on “Show the resource list”
block around the web

The red stuff is already blocked ads, the black are active files of everything loaded on the page. Search for “taboola” or “outbrain” or “zergnet” in the filter.
block around the web

Here are all the results for “taboola” on this site. These are the files associated with the embedded code. The one that ends with “loader.js” is our target, as it is the file that produces all the other files. Outbrain and Zergnet will also have a .js file as their backbone, though the exact name might vary.
block around the web

Selected the “loader.js” file, and then select blocking the entire “taboolasyndication.com” domain
block around taboola

And make sure to set it to block it on every site, because you never know where this stuff will come up. You can always customize AdBlock to not block ads on specific sites later.
block around taboola

Success! Celebrate by buying some tea!
block around taboola

Here is a shot of the site where the Taboola panel used to be. Now it is just an empty box. Woo-hoo!
block around taboola

On Firefox, the default AdBlock location is on the bottom. Select “Open blockable items” from the menu and proceed as previously instructed.
block around taboola

The Firefox filter looks like this:
block around taboola

An example of an Around the Web panel
block outbrain

An example of an Outbrain panel
block outbrain

Here is OutBrain’s file getting blocked from my web browsing forever. Bye-Bye OutBrain!
block outbrain

An example Zergnet panel:
block zergnet

And, yes, I am well aware of the irony of explaining how to adblock things on a blog post that has ads. Feel free to AdBlock this site, I won’t be offended. Or whitelist it so ads appear, I won’t be offended, either. Having been to enough sites with adblock off that I now use it regularly everywhere I understand completely if you do as well.

Robot Star Zangga jjanga

Grave Halloween and Zombie Night spook out SyFy!

Our good friends at SyFy (SciFi Channel for all you retronauts!) are bringing us some more original movie premieres that will blow. Your mind. Maybe.

Saturday October 19th brings us Grave Halloween!

An American college student studying in Japan risks her own life to save the spirit of her dead mother who killed herself in the notorious real-life Suicide Forest. Grave Halloween stars Cassie Thomson (Big Love) and Graham Wardle (Supernatural).

Grave Halloween was originally known as The Last Halloween, but not any more! Check out the IMDB for proof. This synopsis is all we know so far about Grave Halloween. I do notice they didn’t mention Kaitlyn Leeb, aka the three-breasted hooker from the remake of Total Recall. I wonder why… There is a large Asian cast, unusual for a SyFy flick, but welcome, even though the main characters don’t seem to be Asian.

Next up is Zombie Night on Saturday, October 26th.

Two families in a small American town face off against zombies in a long night of horror, torn between helping each other and saving themselves. Zombie Night stars Darryl Hannah (Kill Bill), Anthony Michael Hall (The Breakfast Club) and Shirley Jones (The Partridge Family).

Why does that press release not mention Alan Ruck is also in Zombie Night? He’s Cameron, for crying out loud! More info on the IMDB, where you can see the amazing cast for this film. The director is John Gulager, director of Piranha 3DD.

Both films are part of the “31 Days of Halloween” Scare-a-Thon, so be scared or some SyFy exec will get fired.

There are no images to go along with this press release, so enjoy this photo of a Sexy Sea Turtle costume from Yandy.com, guaranteed to be culturally more terrifying than either of these films!

Sexy Sea Turtle Costume