Robotstar Jjanga
aka 로보트 스타 짱가 aka Roboteu seuta Jjang-ga
1988
Written and directed by Kim Yeong-han
This is your brain being sucked out by Robotstar Zangga!
NOOOOooOOOoooOOooOOOOoooOOO!!!! It’s more awful Korean Children’s cinema! Why do I watch this? Okay, someone requested
Robotstar Jjanga, and it’s also the first part of
a film series that eventually featured a Korean Batman. But in this prequel, the actor who goes on to be Batman (or Betaman) is an awkward teen who wets the bed.
The Dark Knight Returns was never so gritty….wait, I think Batman did wet his pants in some story….
As usual with Korean Children’s movies, the main event is a “funny” fat guy who acts like a giant baby man. He turns out to also be an intergalactic hero who lives on Earth in disguise (and unaware of who he is) until he’s called back to duty, at which point everyone becomes cartoons and character designs are stolen from The Transformers. Hey, this might be the only chance you will ever get to see toy accurate Reflector menace humans! The flying space carrier Fortress Maximus has been used by Transformers canon (a fact I learned thanks to the Transformers Wiki) so that’s not as unique as it seemed. As someone who had the Reflector toy as a lad, it was sort of fun watching him stomp around before he was defeated by a fat guy and an annoying robot. My toy would never suffer such indignity!
Who’s insulting the size of my Megapixels???
Said fat guy is named Dung-dung (I’ve found a few names for characters who went nameless back when I reviewed the sequel), and he enjoys chewing gum and stealing food. He lives with a scientist and his misfit family, which consists of bratty children and a grown daughter named Su-Ji. There is also a robot (a guy in suit robot!) named Robokong, who is tolerable only because Dung-dung is so intolerable. Giving and taking, that’s what Korean children’s cinema does. You give your time and it takes your life…
As usual for obscure gems like these, the synopsis portion of Robotstar Jjanga is much larger, to better accommodate people who don’t want to sift through terribly designed Korean blogs to find the streaming videos of these old school films dubbed from VHS tapes. I really, really hate Naver. Hate. Hate Naver. HATE! But not as much as I hate Dung-dung.
There’s not even stairs here for this guy to fall down on!
is written and directed by Kim Yeong-han, the very same maniac who brought us
Super Batman & Mazinger V and
Hwarang-V Trio! Clearly Kim Yeong-han is a cinematic monster who needs to answer to his crimes. But unfortunately anyone who goes up against him will be forced to turn into a cartoon character and battle giant robots. This is sadly becoming a trend among terrible directors, protected by guardian robots in the realm of animation. Time to bring back Judge Doom so we can get enough Dip to save cinema!
The worst part is she isn’t even close to being the worst Star Wars EU character!
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Dung-dung (Kim Hyeong-gon) – A gum-chewing manchild who used to be an ace space ranger before he abandoned his duties to live out the seven deadly sins. Dung-dung is a fairly accurate name. |
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Robokong (???) – The family’s loyal robot, who can transform into a more action-oriented version, but only when he’s a cartoon. Will occasionally do the “Beedy beedy beedy” thing that Twiki from Buck Rogers does. |
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Princess Sara (???) – Sara is a princess of the Star Planet. What kind of name is that? At least she isn’t from the Moon Planet. Because that would be ridiculous! Like all space princesses, she gets kidnapped a lot. She reminds Dung-dung of who he truly is. |
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Su-Ji (???) – The eldest daughter of Scientist, which he must have fathered when he was 8 years old or something. She accompanies Dung-dung and Robokong on their adventure, but then doesn’t do much after that. |
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Rest of family (???, ???, ???, ???) – Scientist, Older Boy who becomes Batman, Younger Boy, Girl in Pigtails. All our fun friends. I hope they all die. |
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Rust Queen (???) – The Queen of Rust has blue hair for some reason (anime), and also there isn’t a lot of rust around her. Her name is totally inaccurate, this movie is a lie, SAVE YOURSELF! RUUUUUUNN!!!!!! |
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Gohura (???) – The evil Rust Queen’s henchman. I don’t know if this is a translation thing of if the aliens have rejected gender norms, but in any event Gohura leads the goons that have captured Princess Sara on Earth and is defeated by Dung-dung and the annoying kid squad, largely due to goon incompetence. |
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