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Wingnut Web – Resistnet Has Always Resisted Edition

It’s that time again! Time to bathe our squirrels? Time to eat all the border pieces in the jigsaw puzzle? No, it is Wingnut Web time! This edition brings us once again to the depths of Resistnet.com, the resistiest website of them all. They resist all night and all day, and even resist rational thought. Rationality is totally liberal. Angry mobs who declare everything COMMUNIST! is the way to go. Resistnet will be ramping up the craziness in anticipation of the 9-12 March, which will probably give us some hilarious photos and otherwise do nothing. But they will declare victory regardless, and we will be there to laugh.

jeff knows Bozo the Clown wants a civil war in America!
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The Race Game, new from Parker Brothers!
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gary kaalberg has more secret intel info.
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Shortly after posting this gary kaalberg disappeared from Resistnet. Hmmm….
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Tex Tucker is perfectly happy having a rogue CIA that answers to no one and can kidnap and torture government officials for even asking them for information.
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Slavery, schmavery, enjoy your gift!
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Karen Belver is a big fan of The Dark Knight
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Did they ever ask the voters if they wanted a Black President? Voters were totally bamboozled!
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They would probably say “NEEEEEEEERRRRDDDSSS!”
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Damn Natzis!
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Jane Spain daydreams that half of America are incredible morons
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David or Leisa Smith is a horrible grandparent
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“Fuck the Police!” is DJ’s favorite song!
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Karen Belver has never been to school a day in her life
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ResistNet is now supporting Truther garbage because they want to believe the Alex Jones garbage! Excellent…
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The ACLU rules schools with an iron fist. A LEFT fist!
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Only COMMUNISTS help other people! Hitler Hitler Hitler!
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Mike Demayo will soon be banned from Resistnet for daring to have a sane thought!
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A precedent that Reagan and Bush 1.0 both did, but why let facts stand in your way, DJ?
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The Department of Education is suddenly in charge of the University of Chicago now!
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Resistnet.com is the gift that keeps on giving.

Orly Taitz goes to court..

Dr. Orly Taitz Esq. PhD is in court again for another Obama isn’t a citizen because he was born on Neptune or something lawsuit and the whole thing is a laugh riot. Professor HM Orly Taitz, TE is something you can’t make up. No one would believe that this is actually happening, but it is, and it is hilarious. You might wonder why Orly Taitz is on this crazy crusade, but the giant DONATE buttons on her official website might be a clue.

The previous Kenyan Birth Certificate that Taitz publicized all over the internet turned out to be a giant fraud (even though pictures of it are still up on her official website) she now has a new Kenyan birth certificate for Barack Obama, despite the fact it used American-style dating systems (instead of British) and the area mentioned wasn’t a part of Kenya back in 1961. But don’t worry, it has a footprint on this Birth Certificate, and it is a black footprint, therefore proving everything!

The judge is Judge Carter, who is becoming a minor celebrity on right-wing websites because WorldNetDaily and other sites have declared victory, even though Judge Carter just did some procedural stuff that is standard. Watch how quickly Judge Carter becomes the new demon of the right the second this case goes down the drain like all the others.

There is a summary of the court action here, and another take here that has more details and shows some of the hilarity that is Dr. Orly Taitz Dr Dr Professor Jr Reverend.

Orly seemed not to have learned her lesson from the last time. When she came into the courtroom there was another hearing still going on and — either still going on or they were waiting for it to go on — and other counsel were at the counsel table, and she went up to the counsel table, as if she was going to sit down, and had to be told again “No, wait your turn.” So she had to go sit back down.

Orly kept wanting to talk about other issues, but the judge kept pulling her back saying, “This part of the hear is about Robinson and Drake.” The judge told her, “You are about to cause a huge delay, and cause a procedural quagmire because of your refusal to work with each other. Because of this dispute between you and Kreep, you are going to delay everything. “Is this about you representing your clients or is this about you, personally? Orly interrupted him, and he said, “I know you always have the answers, but you’ll get a chance to talk later.”

He then directed Kreep and Orly to move their chairs closer together and said, “You need to work together.” They moved the chairs together, and he said, “I now see the two of you as one.” He then assured Orly about her concerns by saying that he would not preclude her from presenting different or contradictory theories. He said, “You’ll each get to have your say.”

She then asked whether they could have testimony from Lucas Smith (who was in the courtroom.) The judge did not like that at all. He said, “You’re bringing a witness in here without notice? This is surprise and ambush. You are not going to do that. According to waveydavey, he was not at all happy. West and DeJute also objected, strenuously, saying they had heard nothing about her bringing a witness.

Orly then said she “has a witness here in the courtroom today who is afraid for his life. Let him testify now,” and if you decide it’s not appropriate we can always strike the testimony later.” West objected strenuously saying “This is sandbagging, surprise,” and all of that. And the judge said, “I don’t intend to let two witnesses come in on the fly without notice. The judge then said, “Usually this kind of thing would be accomplished by deposition.” Then, in waveydavey’s view, he started playing devil’s advocate with the government. It seemed to waveydavey that he was playing devil’s advocate, not that he was really serious, but what he said to the government is, “Why can’t they just do a deposition since the guy is here?” — (waveydavey said everyone seemed to be under the impression that Smith had just flown in from Kenya) — so the judge was like, well, he’s flown in, why couldn’t they just do a deposition. At that point the Orlybots loved it. There was general clamoring in the courtroom such that the bailiff had to ask for order in the courtroom. West, of course, didn’t like that idea of depositions.

Orly came back and said, “I’m getting death threats every day. I get death threats on a daily basis.” She referred to Lieutenant Harris — the passport guy — as someone who came forward with testimony and was killed. She said again, “I have a witness here in fear for his life. I asked for a hearing behind closed doors or voir dire because he has to be able to testify. It has to be done. I leave it to you to decide the best way.” The judge said, “We need an orderly process. Each side must have a chance to respond,” and that was the end of that.

Once again the judge praised the government for helping to nurture the process so that issue could finally be dispensed with. He didn’t take Taitz to task, but continually praised the U.S. for bending over backwards to help the other side.

Orly Taitz

McDonalds Red Menace

Wingnut Web – McDonald’s is Communist!

McDonalds Red Menace

Or something. This Robert Moon guy is employed by a major news agency!

As funny as this manufactured outrage is (McDonald’s is THE NUMBER ONE recognized brand of American capitalism in the world. More so than Mickey Mouse!) it shows just how far removed from reality the arguments on the Right have become. Every thing is communist! Even giant megacorporations! The Right really has no valid attack points and has been reduced to a screaming mob, yelling “COMMIES!!!” at everything and everyone. One part of me is sad, because there are plenty of legitimate reasons to criticize current Democratic leadership (Obama’s stupid bipartisan crap when it is obvious no Republican cares about healthcare, lack of support for a public option, Harry Reid being a spineless sack of crap) and a healthy opposition creates a better party (look how progressive Democrats get when they face a primary challenge) but there is no healthy opposition, there is just an angry mob that has getting more and more unhinged for the past 40 years. Their discourse is angry mob now, can you imagine what horrors it will be in 2012? 2016? Robert Moon is an apt name, because he is howling mad!

McDonald’s is now including “American Girl” toys in its Happy Meals, which come with a little booklet that seems innocent enough at first…until you hear your child reading the whole thing aloud, at which point you realize It should be called “Anti-American Girl.”

Set in San Francisco,

As we know, San Francisco is not in the US but is the capital of COMMUNIST Island.

the story is about a little girl coping as her feminist mother divorces her father and opens up a shop selling “gladrags.”

So her mom invented the cleaning rags? How COMMUNIST of her! Don’t get mad, get glad, Robert Moon

To smooth over all the turmoil this creates in her life, the story celebrates “change” in general by pointing out all the “positive” changes that were going on all around her–“protesters [marching] against war in Vietnam,” new laws “[protecting] the environment and endangered species,” etc.

Agenda much?

This guy is so right wing he probably only uses paper money so he can avoid using “change”. And as we know, protecting the environment so you don’t drink poison water is COMMUNIST!!!!

The story continues to explain all the new activities women could engage in as a result of the feminist movement, and concludes with the main character, Julie, realizing where she fits in with all this “change.” It explains, “When a friend is in trouble, an animal is endangered, or a rule needs to be rewritten–it’s time to make the change happen yourself.”

McDonald’s, teaching kids to do stuff and not sit back and do nothing. How…COMMUNIST!!

Message board raiding will be back soon! I am organizing the latest crazy posts and attempting to make sense of the bile. Stay tuned! And remember the Knights Templar!

Pat Buchanan

Wingnut Web – This week in Wingnuts

Pat Buchanan

This week was a busy week for Wingnuts. Things started out with a bang as Pat Buchanan authored a column claiming the Nazis wanted peace and it was those evil allies who drove them to kill kill kill. Pat Buchanan has a history of mentioning the Nazis in a sympathetic light. And of saying incredibly stupid stuff, but he still get employed. So why should he watch what he says? There are no consequences for his actions. In any event, here is what he wrote:

If Hitler wanted the world, why did he not build strategic bombers, instead of two-engine Dorniers and Heinkels that could not even reach Britain from Germany?

Why did he let the British army go at Dunkirk?

Why did he offer the British peace, twice, after Poland fell, and again after France fell?

Why, when Paris fell, did Hitler not demand the French fleet, as the Allies demanded and got the Kaiser’s fleet? Why did he not demand bases in French-controlled Syria to attack Suez? Why did he beg Benito Mussolini not to attack Greece?

Because Hitler wanted to end the war in 1940, almost two years before the trains began to roll to the camps.

Van Jones (special adviser for green jobs at the White House Council on Environmental Quality) has been driven to resign by relentless attacks from Glenn Beck and other mouthpieces. Van Jones was a truther back in the day, which is pretty dumb, but resigning under pressure is going to just be seen as a victory to the mob mentality. The fact that Van Jones is black is already making people on certain internet boards want to force another black man to resign, Obama. Of course, they are going to fail on that one.

The rest of the angry mobs became focused on the upcoming school speech by Barack Obama. To best prevent their precious little angels from seeing the President of the United States speaking, the parents are threatening to yank their kids out of school. All of them fear Barack is going to hypnotize them into becoming Nazi brownshirt slaves of CommuNazi Green Socialist Barry Soetoro. Which is odd, because Buchanan was defending nazis earlier in the week, and now conservatives are attacking nazis. Make up your minds! But that would mean Wingnuts weren’t crazy. Here are selections from Barack’s speech that show how Marxist Nazi his speech really is:

Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide.

That monster!

No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work.

*GASP!*

I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.

COMMIE!!!

So today, I want to ask you, what’s your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?

Yank out all the kids! Yank them all out! Make them play for the Yankees!

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

I have literally been shoved into an oven.

Wingnut Web – Brainwashing Children for Fun and Profit Edition

Barack Obama’s gonna brainwash your kids! On September 8, Barack Obama plans to give a televizes speech to schoolchildren broadcast into schools. This might seem like something harmless, maybe a fun diversion from listening to your teacher talk about the Pilgrims for the 1000th time (will school history classes ever reach WW2?) or at worst, a waste of an hour where kids didn’t get to learn any algebra. But some parents find something sinister in the president of the United States wanting to speak to schoolchildren. They think it is a brainwashing attempt to indoctrinate their children into Hitler youth Brownshirt programs. You might think I am making this up, but I am not. You cannot write this stuff, the Wingnuts have taken crazy to a whole other level!

I mean, what other presidents have addressed schoolchildren? Sure, George H. W. Bush had a speech for kids where he ptiched his education plan in 1992 (that would be when he was running for reelection!)

And terrible president Ronald Reagan addressed children to talk about taxes, God, and gun laws…

PRESIDENT REAGAN: Well, thank you very much. Please, be seated. You know, this is a real treat for me, having you here, and to have in a little while the chance to answer some of your questions. Let me also offer a special hello to those of you who are watching on C-Span, or the Instructional Television Network. Thank you for inviting us into your home or your school today …

And that is a vision that goes beyond economics and politics, it’s also a moral vision, grounded in the reverence and faith of those who believe that with God’s help, they could create a free and democratic nation …

Because you see, the taxes can be such a penalty on people that there’s no incentive for them to prosper and to earn more and so forth because they have to give so much to the government …

There was talk about having a gun ban in California. It didn’t go through. But I got a letter from a man in San Quentin Prison. And from the prison he wrote me the letter to tell me he was in there for burglary, he was a burglar. And he said, “I just want you to know that if that law goes through, here in San Quentin there will be celebrating throughout the day and night by all the burglars who are in prison.”

Let’s never forget President George W. Bush was reading to kids when plans were slamming into the World Trade Center. But none of that matters because none of those presidents were Marxist Communist Socialist Nazi Muslim African Liberals like B. Hussein Obama!

Resistnet.com leads the charge to yank the kids out of school! Follow the lead of some lady who types in all caps!
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Let’s all die on hills or something!
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Obama’s secret distraction EXPOSED!
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NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS!
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I’d only support guys who were nailing their slaves to talk on TV (and if they did, they would be zombies and would eat kat 1776’s non-existent brains)
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A typical theFoxNation.com response…
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FoxNews.com let’s us know Liberals are the Real Racists!
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mara123 can spot a Hitler a mile away!
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nysportsfan (who lives in Texas for some reason) harassed her school principal with all caps emails until he was powerless to resist her
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If the President drops below 50 mph, he will explode!
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Seriously, liberals, why are you all horrible and want us to die?
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Obamazz totally hates the Jews.
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A speech so secret none shall hear it!
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holypig would be the first person killed in Civil War II when he has a heart attack after walking to his gun cabinet.
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He stepped over all these lines, like he was President or something!
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tonyd2012 is yet another guy living the delusion that suddenly America will “wake up” and throw out these liberals and become True Conservative America!
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Misogyny, in my FoxNews.com?
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My kid won’t be learning no Spanish! And I’ll just ignore the fact my seven year old has more brains that I ever will!
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Neither to most homeschoolers! Let’s yank their kids according to this guy!
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Pray for God to smash babies’ heads against rocks. That’s Christian love for you!
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The era of cheap internet has also lead to microsites popping up speaking out against the presidential address. Hall Pass On That is one such site…
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Not the Ragime! I would demand Spell Check first!
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We will brainwash our own kids, thank you very much!
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We pay for it, so I should get MY WAY only! Waaaah!
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Barack Obama, born to a father who abandoned him and forced to live with his grandparents because his mother had not enough money to take care of him, who attended schools on scholarships, was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. But George W. Bush, millionaire’s son, was a man of the people!
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Barack Obama will harm your children and expose himself.
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So the site took it upon itself to write their own worksheet for the speech!
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Let’s take a look…

Question all authority, but never question Mommy! (and NEVER question Republican presidents!)
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Liberals, just draw pictures because none of you can write…
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Let’s discuss the main ideas of the speech, these things I made up!
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And HallPassOnThis is not the only site! Don’t these people have jobs? Oh, wait, George W. Bush took care of that problem!
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Wingnut Web must end again, but we’ll soon be back, and with more brainwashed children. Remember, when you brainwash, to use cold water or you will end up shrinking the brain.

Wingnut Web – Not a Finger! Edition

So the healthcare debate has caused emotions to run hot and heavy on both sides. From the Republicans recruiting angry mobs to storm townhall meetings and screech and hollar, to the fact that many of said Republican mobs are on Medicare/Medicade/VA benefits/other government services, the whole health care debate is a giant mess. This is punctuated by Barack Obama’s idiotic giveaway to the pharmaceutical industry and his wishy-washy lack of support of a public option, without with any meaningful healthcare reform is impossible. But as progressives slowly force Obama to not be a centrist dirtbag, the conservatives mobs are getting more restless. From gun-toting attention seekers outside presidential speeches to guys ripping up posters of Rosa Parks, things were coming to a head. And one event turned to violence of a media frenzy kind, as an altercation left one man missing a finger!

William J. Rice not only threw the first punch at the rally in Thousand Oaks, CA, but went to the hospital after getting his pinky bitten off thanks to Medicare. Then he showed up on FoxNews for Neil Cavuto and a very bizarre interview. Sadly, there is no video of the actual fight, which would answer a lot of questions (and quell some of the Right’s arguments that it was unprovoked finger biting despite Rice admitting he punched first) The biter remains at large.

Let’s look at some reactions around the internet. First up is FoxNews.com:

holy pig is an expert on cannibalism
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wixxx knows that unions are responsible for horrible things, like 40 hour work weeks, weekends, vacation pay, sick leave…
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Obama is making me hate America!
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FoxNation.com takes a bite!

Those THUGS have to resort to name calling!
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Fingers, huh? How ironic!
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Who, indeed?
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Kenyans bite fingers!
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FreeRepublic weighs in…

It surely does, somehow…
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Because he went to the hospital, healthcare is a-ok! (the government run healthcare the guy had!)
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meloncholy is speaking in such deep cover code that even he has no idea what he is saying.
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Yeah, only black people would bite fingers! (NOTE: the biter is white)
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Obama bites off people’s fingers after sitting in church, got it!
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Wah! I can’t troll some other blog anymore! Waaah!
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Imagine these posts with about 9 million more where macho keyboard warriors declare they wouldn’t get their fingers bitten off, but would beat up the liberal without breaking a sweat, and that’s what it looks like from the right. Wingnut Web will be back, soon, as Obama will be brainwashing America’s children on September 8th, and only a few brave Wingnuts will stand up and yank their kids out of school so they don’t have to see a scary black man talk.