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AmericanGrandJury.org is run by the Chinese!

The website Americangrandjury.org has been popping up on my radar the past few days. Besides the scant mentions on sites like FreeRepublic and Resistnet.com, American Grand Jury made somewhat of a splash the other day with a HUGE group action that I’m sure numbered in the high dozens, and since it involved some hilarious protestation against Glenn Beck (who still hasn’t denied he Raped and Murdered a Young Girl in 1990) I feel like I should really be paying these guys a compliment.

Through “Operation: Flood It”, now apparently “Operation: Special Prosecutor”, tens of dozens of proud Birthers coordinated through Americangrandjury.org flooded the call-in lines of Glenn Beck’s radio talk-show on Monday to press Beck on the issue of President Obama Obambi Obummer Barry Sorento’s eligibility to be President of the United States. Right now the Tea Party people, Birthers, et al are a little peeved at Beck for following in the footsteps of other Conservative luminaries such as Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Michael Medved of Politico, and many more for dismissing the Obama Eligibility crowd as the ship of fools they are. What a position for Beck to take! He must be getting more liberal in his old age!

Well, actually Beck immediately accused “the liberals” of putting together an effort to Punk him on his own call in show, because of course there couldn’t POSSIBLY be any people on Beck’s side that disagree with him. Such a fickle and angry audience you’ve amassed there Glenn! Oh man, they just hate Glenn Beck so much! But back to American Grand Jury, let’s take a look at their homepage.

American Grand Jury.org homepage

American Flags, check

Eagle, check

Multi-colored bolded text, check

Disgusting god-awful layout, check

Article about a Republican, check

No transparency, contact information, author attributions for posts, or any tangable “about us” information, check

Must be a Birther-made website! Most of American Grand Jury’s posts consists of articles regurgitated from World Net Daily, American Thinker, and Pajamas Media with a couple of really poorly illustrated editorial cartoons (a few of which they actually plagiarized by removing the cartoon’s text and adding their own jokes) and the occasional “Special Editorial” from the only author on the website who simply goes by the name “Bob”.

Who is Bob? Well, American Grand Jury’s website makes it impossible to find this out since there’s no About section, or Contact page, or even any email address associated with the poster “Bob”. American Grand Jury does have a hopping mad comments section though. The brave souls at TarsTarkas.net will slowly pour over these comments pages to bring you more internet comedy gold soon. Thanks to the magic of ICANN’s internet registry however we can, for the first time in American Grand Jury’s short history, give you some tangible information about who owns and operates the site! Whois information for Americangrandjury.org returns the following:

[Querying whois.publicinterestregistry.net]
[whois.publicinterestregistry.net]
Domain ID:D155757881-LROR
Domain Name:AMERICANGRANDJURY.ORG
Created On:30-Mar-2009 02:38:43 UTC
Last Updated On:20-Dec-2009 14:57:17 UTC
Expiration Date:30-Mar-2011 02:38:43 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:GoDaddy.com, Inc. (R91-LROR)
Status:OK
Registrant ID:CR38819421
Registrant Name:Robert Campbell
Registrant Street1:P.O. Box 1941
Registrant Street2:
Registrant Street3:
Registrant City:Nogales
Registrant State/Province:Arizona
Registrant Postal Code:85628
Registrant Country:US
Registrant Phone:+1.5202879727
Registrant Phone Ext.:
Registrant FAX:
Registrant FAX Ext.:
Registrant Email:[email protected]
Name Server:NS1.LINODE.COM
Name Server:NS2.LINODE.COM
DNSSEC:Unsigned

So I guess it’s safe to assume that “Bob” is actually Robert Campbell. Robert Campbell registered his website Americangrandjury.org on March 30th 2009, a time when the Birther movement was just starting to gain its steam. Googling the registrant’s phone number, 520-287-9727, turns up little to no information, EXCEPT for another Whois page for a defunct website known as hk-tradingpost.com. The DNS for hk-tradingpost.com, however, is a site called topsax.us which, is where all this internet detective work gets interesting, and as you could probably guess, topsax.us is a internet website dedicated to talk about and the sale of Saxophones! Bob’s email address is [email protected], so he must be a good sax player himself. This is cool for me personally because I played alto sax for a couple of years in grade school. Bob Campbell might actually be a pretty cool guy (if your conversation doesn’t go beyond talk of woodwinds that is)! Meet Robert Campbell:

Robert Campbell, saxamaphone extrodinaire

No relation to Canadian comic mastermind Colin Mochrie

Colin Mochrie!

TopSax has its own blog

As well as Twitter

And even a YouTube channel

Oh and American Grand Jury has their own blog radio talk live conspiracy fun hour show, which only has 3 episodes up at the moment but is still some really crazy shit (not to mention Robert and his co-host Phil Dedrick, who is a big Resistnet guy, don’t know what the phrase “mastering audio” means). Listen through the podcasts till about 15 minutes where the hosts start to take phone calls. Some truly amazing stuff. Also another odd thing to note, according to the “About” section from Topsax, Robert Campbell actually lives in China where he owns the company that makes his “top quality” super-cheap saxophones. This would make some sense since Bob’s audio on the podcast sounds phoned in, but isn’t that really incredibly ironic? Robert Campbell, owner of Americangrandjury.org and petitioner of the US government and sitting US president doesn’t even live in this country? Do fans and members of Americangrandjury.org realize this? The dude lives, makes money, and owns businesses in China, the biggest Communist country in the world! He must know Barry Sorento and Barry’s Communist allies pretty well now.

Wingnut Web – Homo, homo sapien…wise, wise man Edition

It’s time to go down Resistnet Lane and see what those crazy kids are resisting to this week! Is is sandpaper? Bandaids? Toilet paper? Nope, they are resisting the president again! Just like all the patriots are doing. How easy it must be to be a Patriot, you just yell and scream and don’t think, and then get bitter and wonder why your kids don’t want to come home for Christmas any more and your wife ran off with the cable guy. Your only friends are a gun and the guy on the radio. He knows your pain. He loves you like your wife couldn’t, because she always wanted to be loved back. Ha! And now those stinking libs are coming for your guns! Quick, blow them away! What, it was just the meter reader? Uh, oh. You’re screwed now, Holmes. It must be a liberal plot. Obummer really was out to get you, better luck next time!

Rush is “my””heroe” and a Founding Father, because he hangs with the little man (from his giant compound)
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Lyn Valentine never apologizes for anything. She once accidentally pushed her child down the stairs, and then beat that child for crying.
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Ginny Zalnoski is Q*Bert!
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Lyn Valentine returns after she took some drug that made her repeat every punctuation mark three times for some reason…
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All Illegal Aliens are Welfare Queens. Those Illegals working in sweatshops and in the fields? Welfare Queens. Bonus call for government overthrow.
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bumbleshorts is still trying to get Arizona to secede from the union, because of…uh…stuff!
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Gee, we got two welfare queens right here! Hey, geniuses, if you overthrew the government that is currently putting food on your table, you’d starve!!
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A bankrupt state is like Dick Grayson being a ward of Bruce Wayne.
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Maybe you should look for work instead of reading conspiracy theories on the internet, good sir!
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Thank Sheriff Joe for abusing the law to punish his enemies and racial profiling anyone with dark skin!
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Let’s fire everyone in charge of government programs! Then they can all run around like chickens with their heads cut off, MuHAHAHAHAHA!
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President Buttface. That’s what we are up against.
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I bet this guy said the same thing about the Shoe Bomber…yeah, right!
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What kind of grade should you give the Bush Administration for letting them go?
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I wrote this letter about letting Mexicans die in ditches instead of having hospital care because I like steak.
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Obama told me he was going to kill 50% of the world’s population, during his speech on TV. He always talks to me, last week he told me to go buy a dog, and kill it and throw it on the neighbor’s porch. My neighbor was totally mad. What a jerk!
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Hey, look, more crazy mofos!
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And let us close on our new favorite Resistnet.com post, a post so crazy and insane that we’re just going to wait until the next Wingnut Web to dish out more Resistnet goodies as this one will still be stealing the thunder.
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Until next time, remember the Knights Templar!

TeaParty.org and Resistnet.com meet the N-word

TeaParty.org owner Dale Robertson is one of those patriotic guys who wanders around teabagging people while carrying signs with racial slurs on them. And he is being promoted by Resistnet.com! Or they were, everything related to Dale Robertson seems to have been scrubbed from Resistnet.com, though I still have the email I got from them promoting the TeaParty.org concerts.

So the story goes, Resistnet.com sent out an email promoting “Liberty Concerts” set up by TeaParty.org and the owner of the site, Dale Robertson. But then bloggers were told about this photo of Dale Robertson at a Teabagger Rally on Feb 28th:
teapartypic
Note that he was kicked out of the rally for the sign, but just look at his sign. Expecially look at how the misspelled racial slur seems to be taped over that part of the sign, making me wonder what he possibly could be covering up. But I’m just weird like that.

Later Resistnet quickly sent out this follow up email message:

This is in response to the blast mail you received regarding the Liberty Concert being promoted by the National Tea Party group. The purpose of the email was to share an opportunity for you to experience the fellowship and company of
other conservatives, as we kick off the election season and strive to
take back America, restoring it to the Constitutional Republic it is
meant to be. While they are a separate group from us, we share many of
the same goals, a free, conservative America, and fiscal responsibility
within our government. We are not necessarily promoting their complete ideology.

And all information about the “Liberty Concerts” seems to have been completely scrubbed from the site (or their search is acting dumber than usual)

In any event, this is probably very embarrassing, thus, we’re reporting on it, even if we are late a bit. Darn us having lives and contributing to the economy!

Source and our own emails

Here is the full text of the email, for posterity’s sake.

Teaparty.org is inviting all of you to take part in their Liberty Concerts:

Tea Party Taking The Next Step

“We are setting the tone for taking back America with Liberty Concerts. We are not waiting until the first quarter of the year, we have already begun.” Dale Robertson, President and Founder of the Tea Party – TeaParty.org

‘Liberty Concerts’ is a venue designed to be the key to create a model for our Nation to Take Back America. The Tea Party does not intend to waste their time simply rallying. The Plan is to optimize the events, they will be fun and Citizens will be asked to run for office, with the focus of Restoring America, and thus, putting it on the Conservative track.

The goal is to shift attendees from being merely a presence at a rally, into involved Patriots recognizing the need to be engaged in the process of Self-Governance.
The Tea Party is gearing up for action. Robertson has a developing strategy to bring the Republic back under the control of ‘We The People.’ He is asking for thousands of Patriots across America, to run for office.

Robertson stated: “Even though the likelihood of their success is diminished by the lack of experience or financial support; the knowledge will be invaluable for the next election cycle and a point of pride for the American People.”

The Tea Party’s number one imperative, is to have candidates on the ballot. The second priority is to get out the vote, especially in Texas where Robertson lives and the home of over 800,000 members of the Tea Party……….

Robertson is molding the Tea Party events to empower Citizens so they will make a difference in the November 2010 elections. The ongoing tactics are to prioritize States, creating a durable model for ballot access, voter eligibility, precinct chair/county chairs, and candidate awareness. The Tea Party is actively seeking candidates that represent Conservative Constitutional Values. It appears the Major Parties can’t get in step with such a complex idea as Conservative Constitutional Values; therefore, the Tea Party will make it easy for the Independent Parties to break the glass ceiling and get on the ballot.

The ‘Liberty Concerts’ event taking place in Stafford, Texas is a developing prototype, which when successful, will allow the Tea Party to create a thriving event not in months but days. We will be quick on the draw, sure fired and ready to rock in a matter of only a few days. This Tea Party formula will work against incredible odds and will be nothing short of a miracle, but Robertson believes with all his heart all the pieces will fall into place.

Does the Tea Party really believe it can make a difference in November? “Some say, “talk is cheap” but 2 years ago when I started the modern day Tea Party no one believed it could work now 7 million strong, the world is listening and America is hoping, we will not fail.” Dale Robertson – TeaParty.org

Wingnut Web – Lee Harvey Freeper Edition

So I have to admit, I am a hoarder. I have literally hundreds of randomly horrible Wingnut posts collected for several months that I had been planning to feature on Wingnut Webs. I even uploaded most of them into a draft file that has a bajillion pictures and takes forever to load on preview. So I guess I should start unleashing them upon the world, making you both horrified and laugh-out-loud hysterical at the same time. Such are the Wingnuts and their musings. Watching A&E’s Hoarders thanks to the magic of the last two episodes being hosted on their site so we stream there every week or so is always a fun time. And good motivation to clear the clutter. So here comes an update that should have been put out in 2009, featuring yet another almost threat against Barack Obama’s life on FreeRepublic.com that skirts along by not directly threatening Obama.

We open with yet another random OP written by some sore loser still crying in his diapers about the 2008 presidential election, his stained Sarah Palin shirt beginning to disintegrate along the armpits and neck.
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The comments are a bunch of agreeing and cheering on from the armchair revolution crowd, until you notice that syc1959 has posted a gigantic image in his post…
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What is that image? Well, here it is, click it for huge!
treason

Now where have I seen something like that before…
JFK treason
Lee Harvey Oswald was passing these out! And then he was framed by the CIA/mob/Nixon/KGB/Castro/JFK himself for the JFK assassination, just like the Freeper who shoots Obama will be framed. But we all know this is just an isolated case and FreeRepublic.com is not a hotbed of crazy mofos jonesing to have the president killed…
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Sigh…

BONUS FreeRepublic.gif!

14l7srs

Next up – some of the bajillion Resistnet.com posts we have stored up. That site could go down tomorrow and Wingnut Web would still be giving updates for the next six months!

Meet your future occupiers

When the Wingnuts begin firing off their high-powered assault rifles and declare the beginning of Civil War II these nice folks will be there to greet you with either a bullet (if you don’t look like them) or a cheery gift-basket full of MRE rations, Confederate flags, and Bibles (maybe some tea bags too).

Yup, if you can’t read their banner this is a photo of those brave souls in the Texas branch of The Well Regulated Militia (http://militias.ning.com), or atleast the members that were brave enough to meet other internet militia folks in middle-of-nowhere Texas. The Regulator (Oath Keeper), who keeps popping up on Resistnet and Militia.Ning, posted this proud photo so I assume that’s him standing in the middle with the .44 that would make Charles Bronson run in the other direction. Let’s see who else we got here…

This pictures almost reads like the High School A/V Club’s yearbook photo (except with a lot more guns and illegitimate children). Looks like all the members of The Texas Well Regulated Militia made it out for this photo op though. We’ve got:

The young kid who got dragged to this boring dumb thing by his lame dad

The shotgun wedding couple who decided to bring their 2 year old along so he could play with all the pretty firearms

Some pudgy porker guy whose weapon of choice appears to be a baseball bat or plank of wood

A creepy Sam Elliott look alike who prefers to bludgeon people with guns rather than shoot them

One of the GEICO cavemen (or what I assume is Sam Elliott’s wife)

The token Vietnam vet who prefers historic rifles

The fat goony looking fellow with an AK-47 (Jorts do not provide good camouflage buddy!)

What I can only assume is fat goony guy’s hot sister

Butchy McButcherson (the token closet lesbian of the group)

and some poor old guy who they found sleeping at the bus station (and who continues to sleep while his picture is taken, at least they propped a rifle up against him).

Not pictured: the crystal meth lab

This cheery fellow is apparently part of the group too but I guess he didn’t fit into the photo with his huge gun and all. The following text was included along with the pictures:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)
Do YOU recognize any of these people?

These Texas boys & ladies will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken fried steak.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Snopes.com is run by Communist Liberals!

Snopes.com is a great website. I’d estimate that at least 1.7 million people (a figure I just pulled out of my ass like so many Tea Party organizers) visit Snopes.com every day to settle silly little arguments over some dumb “fact” that someone heard off the Internet that sounds just too ridiculous to be true. Beyond debunking things like Old Wives Tales and rumors about Coca-Cola, Snopes has also turned their attention in recent years to cataloging and analyzing rumors, myths, stories, pictures, and all the rest of it from events like 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina.

And wouldn’t you know it, things have gotten so ridiculously stupid with the Birther/Tea Party movement that Snopes has even dedicated their valuable time to debunking pretty much everything that has come out of the mouth of Orly Taitz, Steve Elliott (the guy in charge of Grassfire.org and Resistnet.com), Rush Limbaugh, various chain e-mails, racist photochops, and everything else those illustrious “Patriots” have come up with. Before getting started I’d just like to point out the sheer number of Snopes posts about President Obama rumors and how 98% of those rumors are marked with a red “this-is-utterly-bullshit” dot (yes it is true that the winning number for the Pick-3 in Illinois lottery was 6-6-6 the day Obama was sworn in as President, why has Glenn Beck not made light of this scandal yet?). But further more, and even more importantly, you can’t trust ANYTHING Snopes has to say about ANY matter WHATSOEVER PERIOD END OF STORY because it’s run by Communist Fascists according to the same Birthers who Snopes likes to debunk.

For whatever reason this “Associated Press article” that asserts that Orly’s Obama eligibility court case is being heard by the Supreme Court just won’t die. For smart people like us at TarsTarkas.net and you the reader it means more eye-rolling and sighing, but for the echo-chamber loving Birther movement it means continually getting outraged by the same fake news article every two months and having to be talked down to by another Birther who found out it was fake the last time the article surfaced. For your enjoyment here is the text of this fake AP article (notice the language in it and how a high school graduate could have written something more convincing):

VERY QUIETLY OBAMA’S CITIZENSHIP CASE REACHES THE SUPREME COURT

AP- WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move certain to fuel the debate over Obama’s qualifications for the presidency,the group “Americans for Freedom of Information” has Released copies of President Obama’s college transcripts from Occidental College . Released today, the transcript from the school indicates that Obama, under the name Barry Soetoro, received financial aid as a foreign student from Indonesia as an undergraduate.

The transcript was released by Occidental College in compliance with a court order in a suit brought by the group in the Superior Court of California. The transcript shows that Obama (Soetoro) applied for financial aid and was awarded a fellowship for foreign students from the Fulbright Foundation Scholarship program. To qualify, for the scholarship, a student must claim foreign citizenship.

This document would seem to provide the smoking gun that many of Obama’s detractors have been seeking. Along with the evidence that he was first born in Kenya and there is no record of him ever applying for US citizenship, this is looking pretty grim. The news has created a firestorm at the White House as the release casts increasing doubt about Obama’s legitimacy and qualification to serve as President article titled, “Obama Eligibility Questioned,” leading some to speculate that the story may overshadow economic issues on Obama’s first official visit to the U.K.

In a related matter, under growing pressure from several groups, Justice Antonin Scalia announced that the Supreme Court agreed on Tuesday to hear arguments concerning Obama’s legal eligibility to serve as President in a case brought by Leo Donofrio of New Jersey . This lawsuit claims Obama’s dual citizenship disqualified him from serving as president. Donofrio’s case is just one of 18 suits brought by citizens demanding proof of Obama’s citizenship or qualification to serve as president.

Gary Kreep of the United States Justice Foundation has released the results of their investigation of Obama’s campaign spending. This study estimates that Obama has spent upwards of $950,000 in campaign funds in the past year with eleven law firms in 12 states for legal resources to block disclosure of any of his personal records. Mr. Kreep indicated that the investigation is still ongoing but that the final report will be provided to the U.S. attorney general, Eric Holder.

Mr. Holder has refused to comment on the matter.

Here is the Snopes page that deals with most of the information concerning the Orly Taitz lawsuit. Despite the fact that this fake story was posted on Resistnet TWO MONTHS AGO (and another two months before that) and received generally the same reaction (you know a story is bullshit when Birthers come out of the woodwork to speak against something another Birther posted) you still get these geniuses inquiring about where they should channel their outrage.

Birther elligibility

First post, even the dumb ones are inquiring as to where they can find a link to the story. Not because they want to verify where it’s coming from but because they want to chain email it to everyone they’ve ever met.

AZ is concerned about Snopes

Wow when AZ-concerned talks something down you KNOW it must be bullshit. I also don’t have to point out how ridiculous Suzanne Fort makes herself sound. Oh I can’t trust these Snopes people because they might be Democrats, I’ll have to confer with my fact-checker Andrew Breitbart before I can accept this information as unbiased.

Fake Hawaiian Birth Cert

The only reason I’ve ever gone to Hawaii was to get some fake documents made up so I assume this too. I mean Obama hasn’t come out against this and said he’s NOT forging his birth certificate while on vacation. I got a funny feeling about all this…

The boy who cried bullshit

Ah now the truth starts to come out. Unfortunately The Regulator (Oath Keeper) can’t continue with this trend because we all know all he does every waking minute of every waking day is read up on what Resistnet and HotAir and FOXNation have to say.

Snopes is funded by ACORN!

Thank you Jim! Not only do you point out that this kind of thing is STUPID but you also bring to light the fact that this kind of BULLSHIT isn’t being properly moderated. But wait I thought Resistnet was moderating themselves super extra hard now because of this kind of thing. Also Snopes is run by ACORN, no surprise there. I wonder what Youtube video The Regulator (Oath Keeper) learned that from.

Jim is a smart guy (kinda)

I agree with everything Jim says (except the part at the end about shredding this conversation, we here at TarsTarkas.net believe we should archive such a discussion for the good of all man kind and in the name of internet humor!).

And there you have it. All these responses for something that’s circulated SIX TIMES ALREADY on Resistnet and has been debunked by these same amnesiacs over and over again. But don’t worry, everything else you read on the Internet must be true.