Go! Godman: Godman vs. Tsunosilver (ゴッドマン対ツノシルバー)

September 22, 2016ByTars Tarkas

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Tsunosilver

aka ゴッドマン対ツノシルバーその1 – その6 aka Goddoman Tai Tsunoshirubaa

Week of November 2 – 8, 1972

Your Godman powers cannot compare to my MSPaint attack!!

March of Godzilla: Godman is back with another quick joint of Godman to ruin your day and your being a fan of kaiju shows. Dang it, Godman, why you got to be so bad? This time Godman is battling the spectacularly memorable Tsunosilver (which means Hornsilver), who is actually doing bad things, so does deserve to be stopped. Good to see Godman back on track after last time when he was being up on a helpless child monster. Be sure to check out the Godman Splash Page for more Godman monster beating mayhem!

Tsunosilver is a devil monster with big tongue sticking out like he’s Miley Cyrus or something. He has two rows of spikes down his back, and blasts a white mouth ray. He looks goofy, but he’s undeniably evil, so I support his murder by Godman 100%.

Tsunosilver fires a ray out of his mouth and blows up a passenger jet! Godman suddenly has a higher body count than Power Rangers! Godman, do your job and show up and stop this monster! Stop fooling around with those kids who want you to fight baby monsters in the woods, this is important!

Godman finally shows up and it’s on. The two big guys fight and fight, and fight and fight. Then they fight and fight! This is one of the Godman fights that is the most sexual in nature. When one combatant is on the other and the Tsunosilver tongue is touching Godman’s face, it gets all weird. But as the only part on the DVD is the first episode, I don’t know if it gets any weirder. For that, we’ll need to search the internet and hope it shows up. Maybe you are into that. Maybe this show explains more about Japan than we’d like to think. Until then, tsuzuku.

InTelevision Reviews

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Yasugon and Tsunoterah (ゴッドマン対ヤスゴン)

September 15, 2016ByTars Tarkas

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Yasugon and Tsunoterah

aka ゴッドマン対ヤスゴンその1 – その6 aka Goddoman Tai Yasugon – Tsunokeraa

Week of October 26 – November 1, 1972

Godman demands your fealty…or else!!

March of Godzilla: Godman continues with MORE GODMAN! Wait, don’t run away, you’ll totally want to learn about how Godman beats up a poor innocent monster, and is somehow called a hero. Seriously, this is the episode where we quickly turn against Godman and wish that he die at the hands of some of his victims, and it’s only the fourth story arc of the series! Poor Yasugon, he just wants a friend, but all he finds is a pervert with a pain fetish. For more Godman excitement, check out the Godman Splash Page!

The DVD jumps right in to the second episode of Godman’s battle against Yasugon. Godman battles Tsunoterah in the same week, none of which made it to DVD or easily findable internet video. But Tsunoterah does appear at the very end of this episode part.

Yasugon is a lizard with dual rows of fins down his back, and only two stubby fingers on each hand (both clawed, but the fingers don’t separate and there are no thumbs!) As we shall see, he’s not really mean at all, so this makes Godman not look good at all as he picks on the weak kaiju.

Godman slaps Yasugon around and rams his head into trees. I don’t know what Yasugon did, but it was probably something really monstrous like standing still, or even walking! Yasugon sucks and spends most of this fight trying to run away.

Maybe Yasugon was just enjoying some Starbucks when Godman showed up to beat the tar out of him. We’ll never know without the missing episodes. Mysteries, that’s what we get with Godman!

Godman kicks the fallen Yasugon so hard that noxious yellow smoke gas emits from his butt area and an air raid siren wails. This seriously happened in a kid’s show. Yasugon surrenders and surrenders, bowing before Godman. Godman smugly accepts the worship of the creature he bullied into submission, and flies off.

Yasugo has a stick stuck in his leg, and begins monster crying until a small boy pulls it out. The boy and Yasugon are now good friends, and walk in the forest hand in hand…

Until a new monster threatens them both! It’s Tsunoterah, and we jump to tsuzuku!

What happens next? This is one of the few episodes with an actual story, yet we get cut out of finding out what is going on. And as Yasugon is one of the few monsters to not get killed by Godman, this is early in the week series, so maybe Tsunokeler’s actions cause Yasugon to become a casualty yet. Or maybe not. Until the rest of the show is tracked down, it will remain a mystery…

I heard you blasphemed against the One True God, ME!

InTelevision Reviews

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Gabara (ゴッドマン対ガバラ)

September 8, 2016ByTars Tarkas

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Gabara

aka ゴッドマン対ガバラその1 – その6 aka Ike! Godman: Goddoman Tai Gabara

Week of October 12 – 18, 1972

Wait, he’s crazy! Help! Help!!

Everyone knows and loves Gabara as the lizard cat monster from Godzilla’s Revenge that bullies Minya until Minya learns to stand up for himself. And then Godzilla beats him up as well for good measure. Now Godman gets a turn at fighting that bully jerk. That’s reason number one why we’re starting off with the second episode of Godman for March of Godzilla: Godman, a familiar and deserving monster gets beat up! Reason number two is this is the earliest episode of the DVD, but let’s pretend my made up reason number one is the real reason!

A toad gets nuked and turned into Gabara. Just why someone is nuking a toad is never explained, nor why the toad mutates into a cat lizard monster with electric powers and an inferiority complex. Shouldn’t they have nuked a cat and a lizard? Ours is not to reason why, but only to watch Gabara die.

The only episode of the series on the DVD is Part 4, and by now Gabara and Godman are both big and fighting in the city. Gabara has a fighting strategy that consists of lying on top of Godman and slapping him repeatedly. Somehow this lasts for a while before Godman starts using his flail and his exploding disks on Gabara. We unfortunately jump to tsuzuku before we get a conclusion, so it will be a mystery if Gabara is murdered by Godman, or if he’s just totally beaten up. But based on Godman’s actions in other episodes, that answer is yes, Gabara is murdered. And as Gabara is a big bully who picks on the best kaiju ever, Minya, he deserves to die. He might even be one of the few legitimate Godman murders of the series!

Shots of the missing episodes I have seen include a bit where Godman is flying around and Gabara grabs him, at this point Godman hasn’t grown big, but is about the size of a toddler in Gabara’s arms, which brings up some odd scaling issues.

Weirdly enough, this is probably one of the best episodes of Godman, because we see a monster we know that deserves to get beat up get beat up. Everything else turns into crazy town, a bit of which we get hints of here as Godman makes little effort to not get slapped around by Gabara, who is lying on top of him. If you think that sounds vaguely perverted, let me tell you this series looks incredibly perverted with the modern, jaded gaze you find on TarsTarkas.NET. You’ll find out more as March of Godzilla: Godman continues! More Godman goodies on the Godman Splash Page!

InTelevision Reviews

The Muppets S01E10 – “Single All the Way”

February 1, 2016ByTars Tarkas

The Muppets – “Single All the Way”
Story by Gregg Mettler and Nell Scovell
Teleplay by Bob Kushell and Dave Caplan
Directed by Matt Sohn

The Muppets and Christmas are like peanut butter and chocolate, hence the wide variety of Muppet Christmas specials and films over the years. So it is only natural that we get an entry in the television series, fittingly involving the Muppets producing a Christmas special. Of course, things begin to go wrong as the Muppets are always situated on the rim of disaster. The episode manages to both have some of the best relationship writing in a season with very uneven relationship handling, as well as some of the regular worst relationship writing. We get in informative and heartfelt discussion of Kermit and Miss Piggy’s past relationship, but we also get Fozzie having drama with his girlfriend despite Riki Lindhome not appearing in this episode.

The Christmas Show has two disasters happening at once, first Mindy Kaling is their special guest and is supposed to perform a song, except her singing makes those singing dogs cds sound talented. The more important disaster is Fozzie’s girlfriend Becky broke up with him that morning, which is a big problem as he is being Santa Bear, and no one wants a Santa who is crying and wailing in front of children. Before you can begin complaining about sadsack Muppets, Sam the Eagle is seen putting up mistletoe in a strategic spot to try to sneak a kiss from Janice. We know that won’t work out the way it is intended, so let’s focus on the main stories.

InTelevision Reviews

The Muppets S01E09 – “Going, Going, Gonzo”

January 31, 2016ByTars Tarkas

The Muppets – “Going, Going, Gonzo” 109
Story by Shane Kosakowski and Franklin Hardy
Teleplay by Jordan Reddout and Gus Hickey
Directed by Randall Einhorn

While the last episode was a high note, this episode turns into one of the worst of the season as it jumps back the quality and just ends up disappointing. Gonzo acts out of character while Scooter gets some development in being more brave and bold that he should have gotten before last week’s episode when he actually did something brave and bold, dating Chelsea Handler. Luckily, the day is saved by the sidegag stories, from the ridiculousness of Miss Piggy’s special branded water – Piggy Water – that comes complete with a lipstick mark on the bottle rim and far more calories than you’d expect from water.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the special guest on Miss Piggy’s show, and him and her have a duet while chaos reigns backstage, causing a giant moon set piece to swing wildly on stage. The set piece also snags Gonzo, who is flung around on the roof out of control until he crashes. Normally, Gonzo would be up for something like that, thinking it was awesome and wanting to try it again. Instead, Gonzo starts moping about the stunt that got away, and how he might die before doing a dangerous stunt that might kill him because he was too afraid.

Kermit can help, and convinces Miss Piggy (who is getting a new ridiculous nose muscle electric shock beauty treatment) to have Piggy Water sponsor Gonzo’s stunt and do it on the show. There are a few stipulations, and Gonzo is now officially The Great Gonzo Brought To You By Piggy Water, and must answer the phone with that name, and wear a suit with Piggy Water branding plastered all over it.

InTelevision Reviews

The Muppets S01E08 – “Too Hot to Handler”

January 29, 2016ByTars Tarkas

The Muppets – “Too Hot to Handler”
Story by Margee Magee and Angeli Millan
Teleplay by Shane Kosakowski and Franklin Hardy
Directed by Matt Sohn

The Muppets returns with another episode about Muppets having relationship issues, but for once it isn’t because there are a bunch of sadsack Muppets being sad sacks full of sad sacks. In fact, Scooter finds exactly what he wants for a relationship, except that is just too much for him to handle!

Scooter is enthralled by Chelsea Handler, which is handy because she’s a guest on Miss Piggy’s show that night. She even seems to be looking for a nice dork like him. Uncle Deadly points out Scooter would just be a boy toy, and I’m not sure Scooter seems to understand what that term means. This gives Scooter the confidence to go ask Chelsea out on a date, but he manages to cause a big mess while trying to act cool and calm while doing so. Luckily for him, Chelsea is cool with dating him, anyway.

Fozzie is planning to ask his girlfriend Becky to move in with him after dating for a whole 12 weeks. This makes Kermit nervous, as he thinks Fozzie is moving too fast and doesn’t know Becky that well. He suggests they double date at trivia night at Rowlf’s, a contest Becky always wins. Kermit’s attempts to get Becky to reveal any hidden secrets through casual conversation backfires into finding lots of bad things about his own girlfriend, Denise. But Kermit also witnesses Becky looking at her phone while hiding under the table, and is convinced she is cheating in the trivia contest. He knows he can’t confront her right now, but needs to expose her to save his friend from someone who is dishonest.

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