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Something's happening here…

What it is is we updated the main site from Mambo to WordPress! Now we’re using a front end program that’s actually been updated in the past two years! Thanks to the magic of transferring all the articles over, I now have to manually enter each article, fix one or two things (such as the movie clip code), add tags, add categories, and fix all internal links! That should only take me another month or so, then I can focus on improving the current theme and figure out a way to unite the blog and the main site while making them distinct as well. At least I don’t have to manually republish every article. TarsTarkas.NET turns six in a few days, so a fresh facelift is just what the doctor ordered.

New Review – Beauty’s Evil Roses

The new review is Beauty’s Evil Roses, Hong Kong goes crazy witch lady S&M lesbian tentacle mind control action. Like usual. With plenty of pictures and a clip, read it today!

Also we’ll probably be biting the big one and switching over from Mambo to WordPress on the main site. Largely due to Mambo being practically dead and me using WordPress for everything else. Granted, that means I lose all of my six years of links and all internal links, plus there is the fear that I’ll lose actual data. So I get to back up everything and have fun playing conversion. So expect that in a month or so, just in time for the 6th Anniversary of TarsTarkas.NET.

New Dual Review – Incognito Cinema Warriors XP – Episode 1 – Bride of the Gorilla

It’s a dual review with a review of both the first episode of a MST3K-like fan series, Incognito Cinema Warriors XP, as well as the film they are riffing on, the terrible Bride of the Gorilla. We got 2 roll calls, we got loads of pics, we got a video clip, we got a gorilla guy, we got Perry Mason, we got zombies, we got an old lady…What more do you need? Read it today!

Politisink.com is the place to be…

What started as a single random article making fun of some idiots on Resistnet has spawned into a multi-author collaboratorial event that basically took over the blog section of TarsTarkas.NET. Thus, TarsTarkas.NET Blog became the hot new place to talk about politics and what dumb things teabaggers were doing this week. We’ve been featured on CrooksandLiars.com, Huffingtonpost.com, and even helped bring down a crazy Freeper’s Congressional dreams. TarsTarkas.NET shatters dreams for breakfast. We’ve also gotten a crazy legal threat, proving we’ve made it!

As our ultimate goal is self-improvement, it has been decided that the best way for the political articles to prosper is for them to be housed on a blog focused entirely on the political stuff. Thus, Politisink was born! The domain was an older, failed attempt to do a politics blog back in 2006 that I abandoned when I went to grad school. I am sure maybe two people in the world know that, and one of them is married to me. Now, Politisink is repurposed as the new site that will keep an eye on crazy mofos and the crazy stuff they want to do to our country. The Wingnut Web and other political articles will now be posted there (though what has appeared here will remain as I am far too lazy to move everything over) while the TarsTarkas.NET Blog will go back to posting cult movie news, Karen Mok photos, Battle Beast things, and other weird stuff that I see fit (until some other random article balloons up into a cultural phenomenon and takes over the blog again!) Don’t worry, there will be plenty of cross-promotion so those who don’t start checking Politisink out right away can catch up, and for those of you who will skip right by this article because it doesn’t have a picture of a hot chick or posts from morons on message boards in it. Actually, let’s just throw in crazy picture for old times sake!

Frog King not care for your freedoms, only tasty flies!

That’s better! Now, the writers here will be joining us at Politisink, both dm and skiplogic are already contributing away. Soon I’ll try to add on a few more, because, why not? That’s how you become an internet powerhouse and

So in conclusion, check out Politisink.com, where politics circles the drain!

EDIT: Okay, I rewrote part of this because it sucked!

Godzilla Marvel 5

TarsTarkas.NET and the Lawsuit of Doom!

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don’t know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dog, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn’t pig out
Finally got an email–

Wait, an email??? Uh-oh!

TarsTarkas.NET: Slander in your blog

This is an enquiry e-mail via http://tarstarkas.net from:
Michael Beckham

http://www.tarstarkas.net/2010/01/21/wingnut-web-dipping-into-the-militia-mail-bag/

I’m going to give you guys 1 week to dissolve this thread which specifically targets me, and slanders me as well. I have made screen shots of this blog to present to my attorney. This will be interesting to say the least. Please remove the thread, or I will file suit against you guys for posting FALSE accusations against me. I will also contact the attorney general in regards to this being on the internet. Bringing it across state lines via the internet makes this a federal issue. I’m asking nicely. Thank you

No, not slander!

Okay, fine, I’ll check it out. A quick look at the post in question shows that it is impossible for anyone to not realize statements made were jokes about Michael Beckham. Considering Michael Beckham was the one who went public and posted tons of information linking his name to child molestation charges, even if they aren’t true, then Michael Beckham shouldn’t be upset when people start Googling “Michael Beckham” and “child molester”. If I started to claim that I was made of maple syrup, people are going to google “Tars Tarkas maple syrup” and joke about it, and then I can’t sue them for “slander” because they’re believing it.

But maybe Beckham has a problem with some of the comments, in which case he should get a life. Several of them point out what kind of character Beckham is, others are posts of emails from the militia dudes Beckham is feuding with that seem to collaborate parts of what the others are saying. The rest is just the comments of the popcorn eaters enjoying the show.

Now, Micheal Beckham is a member of the Well Regulated Militias board (aka the WRAM guys) who were briefly our targets as they were involved in a bunch of infighting and filling up our inboxes with various conspiracy theories about how the government was infiltrating them and their infighting that caused the group to splinter into pieces. That’s what I get for joining random Ning sites advertised on Resistnet.com. Eventually, we got bored as more hilarious targets presented themselves, and left the WRAM guys to go play armyman in the woods with their toy guns.

Our mistake. We should have never stopped reporting on the goings on of the WRAM guys, because they are still hilarious! So expect more WRAM stuff soon.

So I guess TarsTarkas.NET will now be shut down by US Attorney General Eric Holder, and we’re all gonna get sued for slander. Which is awesome because even if we made actual charges designed to hurt Micheal Beckham’s reputation and not sarcastic jokes in response to his own broadcasting of his junior high school drama, it would be libel. Luckily, EFF.org has got our back, and as we are all brainwashed Obots Eric Holder is well aware of us and we are on his payroll. But now TarsTarkas.net has finally arrived and gotten a lawsuit threat, just as we’re about to announce the politics-only spinoff site Monday.

I have received no reply from Mr. Beckham when I told him no, but any updates will be reported. Until then, remember the knights templar. If anyone wants Eric Holder’s autograph when he comes to arrest me, let me know in the comments!

Dr Teeth