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Atomic Hotel Erotica

Atomic Hotel Erotica (Review)

Atomic Hotel Erotica

Atomic Hotel Erotica
2014
Written and directed by Dean McKendrick

Atomic Hotel Erotica

Check it out, I told this telemarketer my name was Mr. Butts and now he keeps saying “Mr. Butts”!


A seemingly innocent hotel turns out to be the home of secret Satanists out to steal your soul in Atomic Hotel Erotica! There is also some drama about rival engineers after a big bonus and marital strife, but as that has little to do with worshiping Satan, let’s put that on the back burner for now.

Strangely, the film that Atomic Hotel Erotica might be closest to spiritually is Manos The Hands of Fate. Both feature a strange hotel with a mysterious master and guests that check in but don’t check out. Or maybe the closest relation is a roach motel. Or maybe the Hotel California, that hotel that you can never leave.

Atomic Hotel Erotica

You seriously thought Beanie Babies would put your kids through college?


Remember that old believe by some tribes that taking a photograph would steal their souls and everyone laughed and felt culturally superior? Well, the smug is on the other foot here as souls are stolen using a camera! Dun dun DUN!

The hotel in Atomic Hotel Erotica is actually named Atomic Hotel Erotica, complete with sign that is totally not a cgi sign in front of someone’s house. The rooms look like they were decorated by children in the 1950s, and nothing has been updated since then, which fits in with the name of the hotel.

As Atomic Hotel Erotica is a softcore flick from Synthetic Filmwerx, it features a lot of the things we’ve come to expect from a Retromedia production. The familiar songs, familiar sets, and familiar casts. Heck, besides the mains, there are photograph cameos from Christine Nguyen, Voodoo, Chad White, and Karlie Montana!

Atomic Hotel Erotica

Cowboys and rayguns? Perhaps this room is a commentary of how the space age destroyed the wild west in the hearts of children everywhere?


The plot is a bit thin and the film is caught trying to compensate for the tiny budget and cast, which keeps it from exploring just what is going on too deeply. This leaves things unsatisfied when the film does conclude, dropping Atomic Hotel Erotica down a bit in the rankings. The cast tries to make up for it, but are unable to work miracles. While disappointing, there are still a few things to like about Atomic Hotel Erotica, and plenty of speculative questions that only TarsTarkas.NET will be bold enough to inquire about the plot, as everyone else is just here for the nude people doing nude things to each other.

Rob (Ryan Driller) – Rob is married to Laura, and works hard for his family, though that means working long hours and somehow not making much money despite being a programmer in years where they are seeing record salaries. Gets invited to the Atomic Hotel Erotica seemingly at random.
Laura (Krissy Lynn) – Married to Rob. Laura spends almost the entire film complaining. When she’s not doing that, she’s cheating on Rob. But she still loves him, she just wants more out of life than staying home while bored.
Jason (Frankie Dell) – Works with Rob at the programming office, even sharing cubical space. Both are aiming to get a big bonus from work, Jason plans to steal Rob’s work and get the credit. If they worked together, they’d get done in like a day and still have a hefty bonus, but that requires not being jerks.
Elena (Sophia Bella) – Married to Jason and approving of his nefarious theft schemes. Makes her husband late to work with all their sex having.
Grismer (Michael Gaglio) – Grismer is the caretaker of the Atomic Hotel Erotica, and is secretly up to no good, which is obvious from the get-go. He lures in unsuspecting souls, and doesn’t stick to just a list of dumb people like he should have.
Wilfred (Frankie Cullen) – The loyal butler for Grismer at the Atomic Hotel Erotica. Wilfred is not that gentle with bags, it’s almost as if being a butler is some sort of cover for what he’s really up to. The ladies love him like they love all butlers. It’s a fact, Jack!
Susan (Mary Carey) – A stripper that Vince convinced to go along with him on his free vacation.
Vince (Eric Masterson) – A Texan who got invited to the Atomic Hotel Erotica, and had to quickly find a date. It’s interesting to see how Eric Masterson has been stretching his acting muscles, before as a geeky nerd and now as a Texan with one of the most exaggerated Southern drawls you’ve ever heard.
Atomic Hotel Erotica

How can you see anything with the sun’s glare shining right on the screen?

PopFan

PopFan (Review)

PopFan

aka Lighthouse
PopFan
2014
Written by Dean Orion
Directed by Vanessa Parise

PopFan
PopFan is an amazing Lifetime flick that gives a truly disturbing take on the obsessive fan. It rises far above being simply a gender-swapped Misery to become a twisted tale of mental illness, obsession, and a critique of pop stars sexing up their image in an attempt to escape a squeaky clean background.

Chelsea Kane plays the pop princess Ava Maclaine is a pop star who is Miley Cyrus. Her hobbies are living life and partying, which means getting drunk and getting crunk. Ava has just put out her latest video and song, featuring a sexed up music video (yet still far less racy than you’ll see in many pop star’s videos!) She still has her boyfriend from her child-friendly days, Curtis Flemming, who has gone on to become a boring investment banker. Curtis is not in the mood to put up with her crazy party antics anymore, so Ava decides to make him jealous by dancing with a hot guy. And a hot girl! All of this is filmed on multiple cell phones, including the resulting fight with Curtis. Curtis congratulates her on making a video that will top her music video in views.
PopFan
Ava then takes a long drive in the country to try to relax and think and write songs. She eventually ends up in Maine, and pumping her own gas. Or at least attempting to, she has help from a friendly service employee named Xavier. He warns here there is a Nor’easter coming and driving soon won’t be safe, but she continues anyway. Soon it is pouring rain and her car spins out and off the road. She awakens in a bed, with Xavier bringing her food and explaining he pulled her out of her burning car.

This alone is obviously creepy. By the next day, Xavier reveals they are in a lighthouse, and there is no phone line, no cell phone reception, and no internet. And the weather is still terrible, so they are trapped there. Xavier seems friendly, showing off the lighthouse and the work he’s been doing to the place. But he still has a creepy vibe. It soon comes apparent that he’s not all together mentally. He is physically insistent she not go into a certain room. His mood changes suddenly and dramatically. He keeps making excuses as to why they can’t go somewhere so she can contact her family to let them know she’s okay.
PopFan

Presumed Dead in Paradise

Presumed Dead in Paradise (Review)

Presumed Dead in Paradise

Presumed Dead in Paradise
2014
Story by Douglas Shaffer
Written by Steven Palmer Peterson
Directed by Mary Lambert

Presumed Dead in Paradise
Lifetime takes a riff on the Natalee Holloway case and turns it into a conspiracy thriller where the victim is presumed murdered but lives, potentially foiling a plan to seize millions in a trust fund in her name. Presumed Dead in Paradise becomes its own beast, delivering an okay film that succeeds mostly thanks to the performances. Some of the plot details are telegraphed in advance, but the level of planning that went into the master plan of the villain are remarkable, and shows the writers thought things through to keep the villain afloat even as multiple things start going wrong.

Madison Ashland (Malese Jow) is one of those rich kids who gets sent to a new school or three every year because she’s disruptive. No wonder, as her mom died long ago, and her dad then died, leaving her with an evil step-mom who ignores her and leaves her alone at the schools for the holidays. Madison acts out, angry at life and having a generic rich girl name, helping other students steal tests via Mission Impossible-style stunts.
Presumed Dead in Paradise
Surprises of surprises when her stepmother Patricia Ashland (Olivia d’Abo) shows up to reconnect, and to do so by vacationing on the island of St. Isabelle, where Madison and her father used to take trips when she was younger. Things seem to be going great, but a happy vacation does not an interesting Lifetime movie make. Soon Madison is saved from creepy guys by nice guy Blake. But Blake turns out to be not so nice, drugging her and then taking her out to sea under the guise of teaching her surfing. Soon she collapses into the ocean, and awakens on an abandoned beach. Making her way to the hotel, she soon sees Patricia and Blake making out, and overhearing how they planned her death! But they spot her, and Madison runs.
Presumed Dead in Paradise

Con Licencia Para Matar

Con Licencia Para Matar (Review)

Con Licencia Para Matar

aka With License to Kill aka Las Tigresas
Con Licencia Para Matar
1969
Written by Alfredo Ruanova
Directed by Rafael Baledón

Con Licencia Para Matar
When danger rears it’s head, and the police are helpless, they call in Las Tigresas! A trio of fighting femmes donning black catsuits with leopard print collars who bust in and kick serious butt, then collect fat paychecks to live exciting jet-setting lives.

There are two Las Tigresas films, Con Licencia Para Matar (With License to Kill) is the second, following Muñecas Peligrosas (Dangerous Dolls), though according to some material I read, this one may have been filmed first. That’s not surprising, as both films appear to be filmed one after the other (they even share sets and actors, and Cazadores de Espias also shares sets and actors and was filmed at almost the same time in 1967!)
Con Licencia Para Matar
Las Tigresas are a mercenary group that contracts out to the IUS to do special missions (at a price!) Their liaison/mission boss is “Jefe”, Jim Morrison (who is now dating Emily, the leaders of Las Tigresas) They have a comic relief maid named Leonor who occasionally joins them for adventures, and in this film also get a comic relief butler named Hector who is sort of dating Leonor.

Las Tigresas are independent warrior women who don’t wait around for men to save them. Despite calling Morrison their boss, he barely does anything except give them assignments and take Emily out on dates (In a clear HR violation!) The ladies are independent role models, not only does Leonor spend both films wanting to be one of them, in this film Hector even tries to join their ranks.
Con Licencia Para Matar
Unlike the other Las Tigresas film, there are no English subtitles for Con Licencia Para Matar, but a TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles! Con Licencia Para Matar is the much more enjoyable Las Tigresas film, and the lack of accessibility means it still lingers in the realm of obscurity despite the best efforts of world cinema fanatics. As this film is rather rare, enjoy the far too detailed plot synopsis review below. Or else!

Emily (Emily Cranz) – Code designation: T001. Leader of Las Tigresas. Emily is now dating Jim Morrison and gets a musical number in the club. Specializes in using the gun to kill enemies, though that’s not really a specialization because everyone uses guns. But she uses her gun and nothing else.
Diana (Maura Monti) – Code designation: T009. Diana returns with much more sensible hair, and also has a fiance and is planning to retire. But he disappears so no retirement just yet! Diana uses the bow and arrows.
Barbara (Barbara Angely) – Code designation: T002. Barbara spends much of her time not having much going on in this film, though she occasionally will show up to kill villains. Barbara uses her sword to dispatch her enemies.
Leonor (Leonorilda Ochoa) – Emily’s maid, who still wants to be a Tigress and is still actively involved in their missions. Gets a robot duplicate at one point.
Jim Morrison (Fernando Casanova) – Nicknamed Jefe. The boss of the Tigresas in that he is their liaison with IUS and assigns them missions. Gets a robot duplicate at one point.
Dr. Klux (Noé Murayama) – Evil villain who build invincible robots to do his bidding and to do awful stuff in the name of showing how awesome Dr. Klux is. This guy’s name is a little too close for comfort to a certain awful hate organization, which may or may not have been intentional. Who knows at this point?
Dr. Klux’s Robots (various) – Invincible super robots controlled by remote control and made out of green plastic. They feature huge Ks on their chests because Dr. Klux is sort of an arrogant jerk. Their only weakness is heat and destroying their control panel.

Con Licencia Para Matar

Muñecas Peligrosas

Muñecas Peligrosas (Review)

Muñecas Peligrosas

aka Danger Dolls aka Operación Contraespionaje aka Operation Counter
Muñecas Peligrosas
1969
Written by Alfredo Ruanova
Directed by Rafael Baledón

Muñecas Peligrosas
Muñecas Peligrosas is the first of the two Las Tigresas films, featuring a trio of fighting femmes in black catsuits and leopard collars who fight evil (for a fee!) It fits right in with the established world of 1960s Mexican spy cinema, which borrows chunks from James Bond and Eurospy while keeping its own distinct flavor. There is a secret international spy agency, and all-powerful unknown villains who retain their mystery despite having advanced branding tactics. Muñecas Peligrosas is a more subtle affair then the sequel, which features the ladies battling green robots controlled by a mad scientist. Here, they battle an industrialist determined to steal a catalyst for solid fuel production by luring the maker to Mexico via sabotage. But the plot is just background distraction, the real draw of Muñecas Peligrosas is the female characters, the three fighting women and their comic relief maid.

The lead Tigresa is Emily (code designation: T001), played by Emily Cranz. She was born Emma Cranz Cantillano in Arizona to a German mother and Mexican father. She had a string of film appearances in the 1960s, along with several albums (occasionally with a group called Los Black Jeans) and appearances on television variety shows. She eventually married and disappeared from public view in 1970.
Muñecas Peligrosas
Tigresa Diana (code designation: T009) is played by actress Maura Monti. She’s best known to genre fans as the star of the Mexican Batwoman movie, La Mujer Murciélago, as well as appearances in films such as S.O.S. Conspiracion Bikini, El Planeta de las Mujeres Invasoras, and Santo Contra la Invasion de los Marcianos. Maura Monti has gigantic hair in this movie.

The final Tigresas is Barbara (code designation: T002), played by Bárbara Angely. Her character sort of gets the shaft in both of the films, often supporting one of the other two characters. Bárbara Angely was born Barbara Mueller in Austria, both her and her twin sister Angelika became models in Italy and eventually moved to Mexico. Now being billed as Bárbara Angely, she appeared in films through the last 1960s, only to retire by 1970 (it was said she tired of the lifestyle.) She earned a Ph.D. and eventually became a triathlon athlete along with her sister. It was while competing in one such event that she suffered the injuries that claimed her life in 2008.
Muñecas Peligrosas
Despite Barbara being a real Tigresa, Emily’s maid Leonor (played by comedic actress Leonorilda Ochoa) gets much more screen time and plot development. Unlike the three import actresses above, Leonorilda Ochoa did not marry and vanish from public view in 1970 as the Mexican film industry depressed. She moved to television, gaining fame in Los Beverly de Peralvillo, a satire on life of rich Mexican City residents (and named in reverence to the US program Beverly Hillbillies). She has been absent in the public eye in recent years due to Alzheimer’s.

Villain Garrick is one of those villains who needs people to know who he is, so he has his big G logo plastered all over his hideout and on his troops. The design of the big G kept making me thing of Gizmonic Institute from Mystery Science Theater 3000. Maybe the Institute militarized and that’s why Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank moved to Deep 13. Makes you think…
Muñecas Peligrosas
There is also a very unfunny running gag involving a karate instructor (played by Alejandro Suárez in yellowface) who speaks gibberish back and forth with Leonor while she hits on him. These scenes go on for far too long and are just awful.

The copy I have came complete with some fan subtitles. Some of the names might not match right up with other names you’ve seen, and I’ve compromised by what names sound correct. And as this is relatively obscure, please enjoy the more detailed than usual review. Or else!

Emily (Emily Cranz) – Codename: T001. Emily owns the headquarters and is the leader of Las Tigresas. She is dating Waldo, who turns out to be working for the enemy. So there is guilt and stuff going on.
Diana (Maura Monti) – Codename: T009. Diana is skilled in the bow and arrows. I don’t know if her number jumping from two to nine means there six inactive or deceased Las Tigresas out there. The film just doesn’t answer that pressing question. How dare you, film!
Barbara (Bárbara Angely) – Codename: T002. Barbara is mentioned as knowing Jim Morrison from her time in New York City, and returns there at one point for vacation, where she convinces the boss to less Jim pay their higher fee. She specializes in the swords. That’s also about all she does for both films.
Leonor (Leonorilda Ochoa) – Emily’s loyal maid. Her greatest wish is to be one of the Tigresas. She’s the comic relief, and there is a lot of relief. She’s almost the most seen character in the film!
Jim Morrison (Fernando Casanova) – The new boss, nicknamed “Jefe” by the Tigresses before he’s even officially their boss. Then he becomes their boss when IUS hires the ladies at the high fees. Is the only IUS agent in Mexico who doesn’t get killed easily by Garrick.
Garrick (Armando Silvestre) – Egotistical jerk who is trying to steal the K20 because of reasons not known, all you need to know is he is evil. That’s what the secretive international spy agency that assassinates hundreds off the books says, so it must be legitimate. Likes to put the letter “G” everywhere.

Muñecas Peligrosas

Black Butler 黒執事

Black Butler (Review)

Black Butler

aka 黒執事 aka Kuroshitsuji
Black Butler 黒執事
2014
Written by Tsutomu Kuroiwa
Based on the manga created by Yana Toboso
Directed by Kentaro Otani and Keiichi Sato

Black Butler 黒執事
Demon butlers, terrorist conspiracies, gender-hiding revenge plots, English-Japanese hybrid toy baron nobles, and an alternate world with only two spheres of influence is the setting for a murder mystery that soon balloons into a wild tale that could only be a live-action manga tale. And, yes, it is. Kuroshitsuji (黒執事) – aka Black Butler – features a demonic butler named Sebastian who aides his master in her revenge quest in return for the permission to devour her soul once it’s completed. Despite the overly-complicated world building, the resulting film is entertaining and fun, delivering a cool story without biting off too much and feeling like everything is rushed.

Black Butler takes a train into gender confusion land. We first run across Ayame Gouriki held captive by human traffickers. After the action sequence is finished, she rips off her wig to reveal shorter hair beneath. It’s not until a scene or two later (like 20 minutes into the film) that I figure out she’s pretending to be a man named Earl Kiyoharu Genpo. Which means in her first appearance, she’s a girl pretending to be a boy pretending to be a girl. Like Connie Chan or Polly Shang Kuan, there is a zero percent chance that anyone would think that Ayame Gouriki was a male, which makes the scenes even more confusing.
Black Butler 黒執事
Shiori is under disguise because her whole family was wiped out by a traitor. She survived only by promising her soul to the demon Sebastian, who posed as her guardian servant, and Shiori posed as the illegitimate son of her father, named Kiyoharu Genpo. Why the illegitimate son has the same last name as the dad is best unanswered. She keeps up the ruse while trying to track down who hire the hitmen who slaughtered her family, and while running her family’s very successful toy company. Sadly, the toy company doesn’t factor into the plot as much as it should.
Black Butler 黒執事

Black Butler Sebastian (Hiro Mizushima) – Mysterious demon butler servant of Earl Kiyoharu Genpo that no one has noticed hasn’t aged at all in 12 years. Because no one looks at the servants, naturally!
Earl Kiyoharu Genpo / Shiori (Ayame Gouriki) – Earl Kiyoharu Genpo is the eye-patch wearing bastard heir to the Genpo fortune and the head of the East’s most successful toy company, Funtom Company. He’s also really the lone surviving Genpo daughter, Shiori, who faked her death and is now faking her gender after selling her soul to Sebastian in order to get revenge. Is also an agent known as The Queen’s Watchdog
Maid Rin (Mizuki Yamamoto) – Rin is the clumsy maid that serves the Genpo family like her family has for generations. Which is sort of sad because that’s like slavery or something. Also, despite the fact she’s a gigantic klutz, she’s also a secret super double gun wielding crack shot killer that mows downs all sorts of goons to protect her master.
Hanae Wakatsuki (Yuka) – Earl Kyoharu Genpo’s Aunt (though really the sister of Shiori’s mom, which would make her unrelated to Kiyoharu Genpo even though she’s related to Shiori) and helped raise the Earl and run the toy company while he was still a child.

Black Butler 黒執事