Django Unchained
2012
Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino
There will be SPOILERS for Django Unchained below the fold. If you don’t want to get spoiled, please read one of our many other fine reviews and come back later. Thank you.
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Enthiran
Enthiran
2010
Written by Shankar, Sujatha Rangarajan, Madhan Karky
Directed by Shankar
In 2010, Endhiran exploded onto the scene, focusing the world’s eyes onto the Tamil film industry for what may have been the first time. Of course, many of the eyes then left just as fast, but Endhiran did succeed in exposing people to something they would never watch otherwise and getting a lot of new fans for Indian cinema in general. Endhiran is the classic love triangle combined with father-son angst, resulting in the biggest Oedipus complex you ever did see. All neatly wrapped up in SciFi flavor, which helps give us some cool visuals and the most ridiculously awesome action sequences that fill the last half hour.
Endhiran was released simultaneously as the dubbed versions Robo in Telugu and Robot in Hindi, smashing records with ease. Rajinikanth is the superstar of Tamil cinema and is one of the most famous actors in India. It is hard to believe that he was 60 when Endhiran came out. He’s paired up with an equal in superstar statues, Aishwarya Rai, who is often cited as the most beautiful woman in the world.
Though the fantastic action shots are what gained the film exposure, Enthiran is about much more than that. Enthiran is a love story. A love story of both a couple (Vasi and Sana), and also a father and son love story between Vasi and his creation, Chitti. Vasi pours his whole being into his work, to the point of avoiding all contact outside of it. This rightfully ticks off Sana, who feels the jilted fiance. Despite creating what is arguably a life, Vasi also spends a good chunk of the film trying to make up to Sana for ignoring her all the time.
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Jersey Shore Shark Attack
Jersey Shore Shark Attack
2012
Written by Michael Ciminera, Richard Gnolfo, Jeffrey Schenck, and Peter Sullivan
Directed by John Shepphird
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Jersey Shore Shark Attack – The Thinking Man’s Movie!
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A SyFy shark attack movie that has bite and legs. And no, not legs on the shark, that a different SyFy shark attack movie (or three). Jersey Shore Shark Attack has legs because people talk about it. Deservedly so. For Jersey Shore Shark Attack is more than just the run of the mill SyFy flick, it’s also a parody of a recognizable reality tv show brand. The Jersey Shore in the title is more than just a reference to the 1916 Jersey Shore shark attacks, it’s because all the main characters are based on real people from MTV’s Jersey Shore. We got a Snooki, a Situation, a J-WOW, and the rest of the crew that you have to think about for a minute to remember.
Not only is this a parody of Jersey Shore, they improve on the formula. The actors portraying the characters are much more real than the “real” people we see on the reality shows. They have hopes, dreams, and goals in life beyond getting drunk and laid. Mostly.
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Ecco the Dolphin was a chump!
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If anything, I hope Jersey Shore Shark Attack is the beginning of a new subgenre of SyFy flicks, the injecting of actors playing versions of more famous people. Who wouldn’t want to see a killer koala flick where they ravaged the Kardashians? Giant sloths very slowly menacing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? 19 Kids and Count Dracula? Teen Moms vs. Mothman? John and Kate Plus 8 Legged Freaks?
Jersey Shore Shark Attack works because it’s fun. It’s fun to see people play exaggerated versions of other people, it’s fun to see people chomped by giant monsters, and it’s fun in that the film has fun. The bodies pile high, people get chomped left and right off of boats. There is even a class warfare element, the villains and their real estate plot are straight out of The Goonies! The odd mishmash of everything seems like it wouldn’t work, like the gimmick would get old. But the gimmick is there for the flavor, you could insert your regular SyFy stock characters (hot babe scientist, jaded lifeguard with a scarred past, Sheriff that the mayor won’t listen to) and this would still be a passable flick. But it is elevated to greatness thanks to the Shore. The Jersey Shore.
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It’s me on a typical Tuesday at 11 am!
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Jersey Shore Shark Attack even stylizes itself as a fun flick, from the title cards for the main characters to all the soundtrack songs being all about partying (most songs have “party” in the lyrics somewhere, so much so that Andrew WK should probably sue…) It’s hilarious. There is even some dumb “Shore” acronyms like “ASS = alcohol sun sex” or “Backdoor Nooki”. Each scene in the film has it’s own title.
The general tone of the Jersey Shore is copied, as characters bicker among themselves. While at a dock they see a derelict boat, and then argue about which particular guy named Vinny the boat belongs to. The character BJ is constantly saying randomly ridiculous things and being seconds away from being shark bait at any moment, forever making you think they might start taking out the main cast.
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This shark was obviously Wile E. Coyote in a previous life!
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Beyond the reality show ripping, there’s also the class warfare element as the working class Jersey Shore folks are in a heated territorial dispute with the rich 1% preps from the yacht club, whose stepfathers are the very ones in charge of the construction projects to “modernize” the shore and are attracting the sharks. The Complication’s father is also working class, but with authority, as a police officer. The business owner/developer Dolan (played by William Atherton, well known as villain Walter Peck in Ghostbusters) oozes sleaze and entitlement, while the Mayor Patrick Palantine (Paul Sorvino, who often plays mob characters) has his fingers in all of the pies. Heck, the mayor is even named after the evil Emperor from Star Wars! The entitled class elders are clearly villains with no hope of redemption. But…and this is an amazing but…their children, the very people that our Jersey Shore crew has direct confrontation and rivalries with, become friends with the heroes in the end. Lead by the example of The Complication and his friends to risk their lives to save both Nooki and the rich children (as TC says, because it’s the right thing to do) grants them friends for life among the upper class. Together, both rich and poor blow away albino sharks to save Jersey. The passion, the good character, and the heroism of the Jersey Shore crew make them respected heroes both because of and in spite of their origins. It’s the American dream.
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I’d take a Jersey Shore Red Dawn remake over the actual Red Dawn remake any day of the week.
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You can even argue the sharks are ghost white because they represent the old rich white males that populate most of the upper class. Their deaths both by the working class and the children of the old rich white males is a shedding of the previous norms. Joey Fatone’s quick appearance both as a Jersey native who returns only to be devoured, because he didn’t return to improve the community, he returned because he had been devoured by the music industry and he was reduced to doing concerts in Jersey. His intentions were not pure, and he had to go. Ergo, the sanitized Jersey Shore representatives as characters are also better than their actual representatives in reality programming. Both because it’s easier to be of pure ideals when you are a fictitious character, but because the story demands that there be characters of pure heart and intention leading the charge. The Shore cannot be saved by those who care about themselves first.
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Justin Timberlake actually acknowledged the rest of ‘N Sync???!?!
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Get lost, Megalodon! No one is jumping into your mouth today.
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When Taekwondo Strikes
When Taekwondo Strikes
aka 跆拳震九州 aka Sting of the Dragon Masters aka Kickmaster aka Tai quan zhen jiu zhou
1973
Written by Gwak Il-ro and Chu Yu
Directed by Wong Fung
When martial arts movies are talked about, there is the practice by certain people of just labeling all martial arts films as kung fu films. Of course, fans of the genre know there are many different types of martial arts cinema, from kung fu to karate to taekwando to Pencak Silat to Muay Thai. And all of those have their own subgroups and subsubgroups, and films will mix styles, often as a selling point. For When Taekwondo Strikes, taekwondo is obviously the featured martial art, even Jhoon Rhee – “the father of American Taekwondo” – is one of the stars in his only film role. You can also spot Sammo Hung, Lam Ching-Ying, and Yuen Biao in the stunt teams, which is always a fun game with these older flicks.
When Taekwondo Strikes is one of hundreds of films that takes place during the Japanese Occupation, this time on the Korean peninsula. It also scores points for mention the use of Korean women as comfort women to the Japanese troops overseas, as the evil Bansan Karate School engages in this practice.
When Taekwondo Strikes features some great cinematography tricks that make it a far better film than just your random basher. The shots while the Japanese are threatening work great in establishing a mood. In the beginning, the Japanese men are shot from an upward angle, thus making them look more powerful and threatening. The Koreans who are victimized are shot at a downward angle, making them look weak. As the heroic Koreans get more brave and powerful, standing up to their oppressors, the shots become even. Eventually, the triumphant Koreans tower over their former oppressors as the camera angles reverse.
There is also a lot of religious imagery, especially crucifixion. Both the captured Father Louis and then the captured Li Jun Dong are both tied up in a crucifixion manner. In the beginning of the film, the Japanese chase a Korean who knows taekwondo (thus marking him as anti-Japanese) into a church run by Westerners. The priest will not talk, and when the Japanese slap one of his parishioners, he slowly turns his other cheek towards them.
Besides the cinematography, the fight choreography is well done, the battles being consistently entertaining and feeling furious and dangerous, even if Angela Mao is always in control. The Japanese villains are always presented as threatening, and even though they can be defeated they will not hesitate to harm the loved ones of anyone who dares resist them.
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Eega
Eega
aka ఈగ aka Naan Ee aka Eecha aka Makkhi
2012
Written by Janardhan Maharshi and S. S. Rajamouli
Directed by S. S. Rajamouli
Eega is the best movie of 2012, and I will argue this fact until you are blue in the face and die and are reincarnated as a fly. And I’ll be right, because Eega is a rocking awesome flick that keeps you entertained and has fun with it’s crazy story.
The concept of Eega is so utterly brilliant I am surprised it isn’t used more in films from countries where belief in reincarnation is more mainstream. But beyond the general idea of revenge lasting beyond the grave because the victim is reincarnated, which far too often is just depicted as boring old ghosts, Eega takes that and turns in into an awesome tale where the murdered victim reincarnates as a fly, and must take down a powerful and evil man while one of the weakest creatures on the planet. Flies are even used as a punching bag by bullies, as they say things like “what was that, a fly?” when hit or other such taunts. But a fly can be powerful, especially when backed by the intelligence of a human and the benefits of a micro artist fashioning tools and weapons for the insect.
Eega literally means fly, and when Nani is reincarnated from an underdog in love to an ultimate underdog, his hero arc is at one of the lowest points in cinematic history. How many heroes come back from being killed off in the first act? Only Bill Cosby and Patrick Swayze! But Nani returns in fly form, and his revenge builds from irritation and protecting the woman he loves to vengeance upon the man who ended his life because he stood in the way of getting said woman.
Eega was filmed in Telugu (as Eega) and Tamil (as Naan Ee – the name I first heard of this film as), and later dubbed into Malayalam (as Eecha) and Hindi (as Makkhi). All of these words can be seen flashing on the screen during the final musical number.
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The Zodiac Fighters
The Zodiac Fighters
aka 十二生南 aka Dragon Zombies Return aka Shi er sheng nan
1978
Directed by Hau Chang
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50 Shades of Grey wishes it was this daring!
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Polly Shang Kuan Ling-Feng began her career In 1966 with the United Film Corporation, and was quickly and began studying martial arts. When director King Hu needed a new starlet for 1966’s Dragon Gate Inn (one of the films that helped usher in the modern wuxia films) with Cheng Pei-Pei still under contract at Shaw, Polly was his choice. Polly played a female swordmaster disguised as a man, a role she would be accustom to playing. Often it is hard to figure out what gender Polly is supposed to be in many of her films! 18 Bronzemen, probably her most famous role in the west besides Dragon Gate Inn, also sees her disguised as a man. In 1973’s Back Alley Princess, she was a woman who spent the entire film playing a man, and won the Golden Horse award for Best Actress. 1978’s Little Hero saw her playing a man, and 1977’s Fight for Survival saw her playing a woman who started to become a man thanks to some kung fu, causing her to need to learn a different kung fun style to revert back.
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I have to stay in this cave for a year? But there’s no bathroom, there’s not even a corner!
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In some of her earlier roles such as A Grand Passion, The Bravest Revenge, and A Girl Fighter, Polly was regularly cast as a female out to avenge her murdered father. If you stacked the bodies of all of Polly’s murdered fathers in her older films, you could climb to the moon and probably kill her moon father, causing her to seek moon revenge, which wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary by her later films. By the late 1970s, Polly was making some of the most awesome films to come out of Taiwan. Most of these were weird variations of martial arts films packed with comedic tones and funny situations. You don’t watch these films to see expertly performed Eagle Style, you watch it to see wacky costumes, ridiculous fights, and insane situations.
Unlike many of her contemporaries, Polly did not have Peking Opera training, but according to the one biography online that has been copy/pasta’ed everywhere, Polly eventually got black belts in taekwando, karate, and judo. I will point out that none of those are Chinese martial arts. Polly left film in the 1980s and moved to the US. Rumor is she runs a restaurant in LA, but no one has said which restaurant! Polly could be serving you catfish in black bean sauce right now! Or even denying you the ability to sit at your table until the rest of your party arrives… She has appeared occasionally in enough interviews that you can see pictures of her now if you so desire to Google it.
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It’s time for Popeye Style Kung Fu!
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So this all brings us to Zodiac Fighters, a film where we have people dressed up as the various Chinese Zodiac animals running around doing kung fu styles in the manner of the animal they are dressed up as. We have a few extra bad guys with different animal suits who show up near the end, and a sequence involving rubber sharks that you have to see to believe. Zodiac Fighters is crazy and freaking awesome, a great martial comedy. Unfortunately, it is also hard as heck to get a hold of. I had to bribe a guy dressed like a moose. Or maybe he was a moose. In any event, I now have a copy, and some moose has a bunch of caramel corn.
I’d like to tell you I did all this research and identified all the random actors, but that would be a lie. I just did what the few of us who watch these films do and went to the source, this Cast Photos Page that is used by every reference source out there, even the HKMDB! So now you know the terrible secret of all us obscure movie bloggers.
Zodiac Fighters is so beloved among cult world cinema fans that it was even featured as one of the Polly Shang Kuan films we talked about in an Infernal Brains Podcast! There is even an even harder to find sequel, called either Zodiac Fighters 2 or War of the Zodiacs depending who whoever wrote the cover of the bootleg with a Sharpie. It does not feature Polly Shang Kuan, but does feature most of the animal actors, little people in dog costumes, and the giant octopuses seen in Little Hero. War of the Zodiacs should probably be called War of the Props Left Over From Other Films.
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The Secret Society of People Dressed as Animals Who Aren’t Furries is ready for battle!
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I promise I won’t start quoting lyrics from Talk to the Animals or start wondering what would happen if we could walk with the animals, or possibly even grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals. Because that would just be easy and predictable, and we aspire to a higher standard of lame jokes at TarsTarkas.NET!
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I’m the biggest Shark Week fan in the world!
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The Other 11 Zodiackers:
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Something’s happening here. What it is, ain’t exactly clear…
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