Hellified is the Dirty Dozen invade Hell! To save the world from the End of Days, a group of prisoners are sent to Hell to kick some demon butt! Michael Finch (writer of Predators, another flick featuring a cadre of bad dudes who team up to fight monsters) is doing the latest rewrite of the spec script from Andy Burg picked up in 2009. There is no current director attacked (Red Dawn remake director Dan Bradley was attached, but has since left) If the new script works, expect that to change soon enough. Michael Finch is also writing Lego Hero Factory along with writing partner Alex Litvak.
Hellified has the potential to be awesome as hell (pun intended!) so don’t fuck this up, Paramount! Do you think they will mess it up? Hellified know!
Jeez, I keep writing puns like those, and I’ll be one of the guys they send to Hell…
Smurfs 2 has hit trailer! Yes, Smurfs are back and running around New York again due to things not explained in the trailer. Gargamel makes evil grey Smurfs called The Naughtes played by Christina Ricci and JB Smoove to do his evil bidding. The plan is to convert Smurfette back to the dark side by making her naughty again. (If you remember from Smurf lore, Smurfette was originally created by Gargamel to cause trouble and then became a Smurf later thanks to Papa Smurf) It looks like the producers are banking on the popularity of Katy Perry to give them the big bucks. As I mentioned for the last film, the scenes in the Smurf village were awesome, so hopefully there is more Smurf village time. Neil Patrick Harris and Sofia Vergara also return.
Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me Infect me with your love and Fill me with your poison!
And if you are wondering if Azrael is in the film, yes he is, therefore Smurfs 2 will be not terrible!
Soon every 70s detective show will have their own film. Welcome to the future. Universal is who you can credit for getting the ball rolling on the Kojak film, which is not only starring Vin Diesel, but he’s also producing. Neal Purvis and Robert Wade are writing, they wrote Skyfall, so you can expect Kojak to face off against a knockoff Joker.
The original Kojak series ran from 1973 to 1978, with two tv movies in the 80s and five in the 90s. Fans may remember that Ving Rhames also played Kojak for one season on USA.
Flare out your gills and begin your search for dry land, because if SyFy gets their way, Waterworld will be back as one of their original movies! Waterworld is famous for being a gigantic flop, even though it’s not really that bad and is sort of charming. However, it’s also a property no on wants to touch at all. Thus, SyFy sees a way to easy money. And I have no doubt that SyFy could easily make a cheap version of Waterworld that not only pulls a profit, but also kicks but. And it probably will involve a giant monster or two (just like the original!) Though I think Kevin Costner is probably out of their league for a cameo. I’m hoping Tina Majorino shows up, because no one realizes the little girl was also deb in Napoleon Dynamite. Or maybe Jack Black, he was in the original.
This is far from a done deal, but if there is one thing we learned from Waterworld, is that myths can become reality when they are tattooed on the back of a small child. So get out your tattoo devices!
On a sad note, the Exxon Valdez is also no longer with us. Also Dennis Hopper and William Preston (Who was also a Late Night with Conan O’Brien regular) But they will all be turned into dirt to grow tomatoes for the next generation.
More news through the cracks and links to other blogs. I didn’t have much time to read other sites this week so that portion is rather weak. I am always open to suggestions…
What we know: The package contained an incredibly detailed replica of “University of Chicago Professor” Abner Ravenwood’s journal from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. It looks only sort of like this one, but almost exactly like this one, so much so that we thought it might have been the one that was for sale on Ebay had we not seen some telling inconsistencies in cover color and “Ex Libris” page (and distinct lack of sword). The book itself is a bit dusty, and the cover is teal fabric with a red velvet spine, with weathered inserts and many postcards/pictures of Marion Ravenwood (and some cool old replica money) included. It’s clear that it is mostly, but not completely handmade, as although the included paper is weathered all of the “handwriting” and calligraphy lacks the telltale pressure marks of actual handwriting.
**Rise of the Animals is your source for deer puppet mayhem! Also I think the cat from A Talking Cat!?! is briefly in the flick…
Captured international assassins are locked up inside a high-tech bunker known as the Killing Chamber. To break out of this concrete hell they must duel each other, fight deadly ninjas and battle against gangs of masked maniacs. And. if they survive this, they will have to confront Snakehead: the lethal, deranged top dog who will stop at nothing to kill ‘em all.
**Here are some Monsters University posters I haven’t put up yet:
There is always more movie news and never enough time.
Because that is the only explanation. What is A Talking Cat!?! about? Obviously it’s about a talking cat and excessive punctuation. The talking cat of the title is voiced by Eric Roberts, who is the man you think of when you think of talking cats. Or even talking kittens, as that is what the cat is on the poster, even though it’s a full grown cat in the film!
The heartwarming story of Duffy (Eric Roberts), an adorable talking cat that brings two families together. Sometimes it takes a little help from a special cat to get people back on course. In this case, Duffy sets about to help two families enjoy each others’ gifts.
Wait, so Duffy the cat wanders into the middle of that old story about the husband who sold his watch to buy his wife some brushes and she sold her hair to buy him a watchband? Probably not, but now I have a screenplay to write.
I won’t even get into how badly the talking cat animation is. But it is bad.
The important question is: Does Duffy rap??? Not according to the preview, but it is entirely possible.
