There is a new film being planned called Newcomers, and it will feature footage shot in outer space filmed on the commercial spacecraft The Lynx (owned by XCOR Aerospace). This space mission will be led by former NASA astronaut Colonel Richard A. Searfoss. The plot details are lacking, but what has been discussed is that Newcomers will be about an alien invasion that is thwarted thanks to the help of a former NASA astronaut and the commercial space industry.
That sounds cool until you remember that it is the commercial space industry that is helping to film the movie! So I gotta call it for what it is, PROPAGANDA! Now, I don’t have any moral conviction against private space missions or vehicles. I do support the government doing space missions and think the switch to contracting out rides to space is a big mistake. And I’m also not the kind of guy who will sit idly by and not call this out for what it is. Newcomers may be a good movie, it may be terrible, it doesn’t even matter at this point. Product placement is not a stranger to big budget films, and there is even times when they drive the plot. There was even a whole slew of right wing agenda-driven films last year, and there will be more this year.
And I will call them out. So Newcomers, consider your cover blown!
It’s a monster-sized edition to the Links post to celebrate Monster Love and to make up for Monster Laziness! So many good posts you won’t have to go anywhere else the rest of the day except all these places below. And also come back here. And share other links in the comments if you want. It’s a free internet!
As usual, we got lots of cool links from out friends and some movie news that didn’t rate its own post, and then science stuff thrown in for good measure because learning is cool. So be super monster cool and read all this stuff before I get mad!
**Top picture is Last Play by Jason Edmiston that appeared in the Village Voice, but I found on tumblr long ago with no proper attribution
**Yes, this link goes to the Daily Dot. But it’s not a terrible article, it’s actually good. I was just as surprised as you! The greatest movie that never was
**Is there a Jodi Arias Lifetime movie in the works? You bet your sweet bippy! If you aren’t Nancy Grace or someone who accidentally watched three seconds of Nancy Grace before the batteries in the remote kicked in and you could change the channel once more, you probably have no idea who Jodi Arias is, so count yourself lucky!
**Speaking of killer women, Women’s Studies is a crazy bad horror film about a killer women’s studies cult. I can’t tell if it is supposed to be a parody or what a MRA guy actually believes. Anyone with NetFlix or Amazon streaming want to check it out?
**Also LOL at this book:
**Go Go Girls vs. The Nazis is an upcoming Russ Meyer tribute film spearheaded by Wayne Clingman. Patrick Beck is slated to direct with a screenplay by Ross Bigley. The listed cast includes Melanie Robel, Elvis Thao, Melantha Blackthorne, and Ted Alderman.
This motion picture will include three critical elements to give a true grindhouse feel:
**The Gremlins remake is lumbering forward, now produced by Seth Grahame-Smith, the guy who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and the script to Dark Shadows (and rewrites on the Fantastic Four reboot.) Please feed this movie after midnight, but feed it poison!
**Babysitter Massacre sounds like it would be cooler if it was a straight horror movie version of The Babysitters Club instead of a sort of the same.
**These damn Pylopagurus discoidalis hermit crabs just can’t be found alive, except for now when they did. Also they named them The Three Amigos after the film.
That’s it until next time, bur remember, keep safe and keep loved!
In the world of “Why hasn’t anyone ran them over with a cow?”, no one is at the top of the list like Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. And they somehow continue to make awful awful films, including their latest announcement, a spoof the Fast and Furious franchise known as Superfast!Superfast! will feature jokes that are 80% recycled from all the other Seltzerberg movies and 100% not funny. And I say this in my most kind way possible. But, as this is a car movie, maybe the added expense will translate into box office poison and we’ll be free! Free! FREE!!!!
But I’m not going to count my chickens before they hatch.
“These guys have no reverse gear. They probably don’t have first or second either. This is going to be one ridiculously funny ride,” added K5 exec Carl Clifton.
These guys have no gears! The gears were stolen by a hobo! Come back, hobo!
Asylum’s Atlantic Rimhas hit trailer, and has a possible alternate title they are filming under (From the Sea) that got spoilered by some local newspapers. As seen in the trailer, a monster that looks like a crazy mutant dinosaur attacks, so they send in three giant robot fighters to go take it down. And David Chokachi’s character is the loose cannon who will end up saving the day, because we always need one of those. Luckily, the robots are color-coded, which makes Atlantic Rim‘s robots easier to tell apart than the ones in Transformers! Which title will Atlantic Rim show up as on the shelves? Hard to say after Age of the Hobbits got lawsuit smacked into a new title.
Atlantic Rim is directed by Jared Cohn, and stars David Chokachi, Jackie Moore, Treach, and Graham Greene
For those of you who live your life not near the amazing chain of theater entertainment known as the Medieval Times restaurants, you might be surprised to know they weren’t made up for The Cable Guy! And now you can eagerly await Medieval Times to come to YOU, in movie form! Because someone wants that. Somehow.
The main question is, will this be a time travel movie, or will it be Clerks in Medieval Times? Because I sort of want Clerks in Medieval Times! Just think about it:
“I’m not even supposed to joust here today!”
“Any peasants who were massacred during battles against Ivan the Terrible knew what they were in for!”
“He’s called Sir Snowball!”
“OOOOH! NAVY SEALS!”
This just writes itself! Do us a solid and go for broke, Medieval Times!
I also hope this starts a trend of restaurant chain movies, because we all need a Shoney’s flick! And, maybe, just maybe, the Rocka-fire Explosion Band will return from the shadows to become famous once more. A man can dream…
The SyFy twitter page has been a bit active giving a few clues as to future features. Rise Of The Dinosaurs on May 11th will be the last Saturday show for a while, as Saturdays become the realm of SyFy original and imported tv series. Movies are moving to Thursday, the first of which scheduled is Axe Giant on June 13th, it’s the Paul Bunyan is a crazy killer flick that looked pretty fun.
The next batch of Thursday flavor is on June 27th, which will give us a double-feature of Stonados (making a triumphant return after getting yanked due to the Boston bombings) and Independence Day-saster, which has an awesome name and we mentioned it long ago.
The twitter dropped an image of four screeners that just arrived: Robocroc, Roswell, Last Halloween, and Bering Sea Beast.
Of the three new ones, I can find nothing at all about Roswell (the generic name does not help in searching!), while Last Halloweenis maybe this film –
A tradition as old as life itself. A tradition old as the demonic forces it represents. The story of a group of people unwilling to face the truth, and unable to reconcile the past. And one man who can. But is he even a man? When humans can’t put the past away. And another entity who simply does not want to.
Starring Nathaniel Sylva, Vanessa Leigh, Michael Thurber, Tom Paolino, Olivia Larsen, and David Erin Wilson, and is directed by Christopher L. Ferreira.
Bering Sea Beast has no imdb info, but I have found from twitter it stars Jonathan Lipnicki, Cassie Scerbo, Brandon Beemer, and Jaqueline Fleming, and is sort of a take on the realty TV series I never heard of called Bering Sea Gold. And it has Sea Vampires.
