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The Choking Game Lifetime

The Choking Game brings the squeeze to Lifetime!

The Choking Game Lifetime

This sucks, let’s go to that Rainbow Party instead!


Remember when you were a kid and your teachers would warn you of the dangers of kids who were choking themselves to get high, even though you never knew anyone who was doing that and it just seemed like a weird thing to mention? And then you saw the movie Rising Sun and choking got even more confusing? Well, I guess it really happens, at least to the point where someone wrote a book about it, which Lifetime snapped up to make into their latest original movie – The Choking Game! Unlike a real game, there isn’t a princess in another castle, only death. DEATH!!!

Based on the book “Choke” by Diana Lopez. Taryn finds herself gaining much-desired popularity when the charismatic new girl at school claims her as a “breath sister,” teaching Taryn about the Choking Game. Hiding it from her ever-present mother, best friend, and teachers, Taryn sees choking as a way to build self-control and grab an easy high. But, as the stakes are raised through each subsequent ‘flight’, Taryn has no idea that she is actually putting her life in extreme danger.

Yes, choking is a game so sophisticated, it has it’s own lingo. Be a breath sister and fly today! Or just buy some crazy glue and a paper bag, it’s probably safer.

The Choking Game stars Freya Tingley, Peri Gilpin, Alex Steele, Ray Galletti, Ferron Guerreiro, Kristen Harris, and Mitch Ainley. It’s directed by Lane Shefter Bishop (who directed some softcore films under the name Cameron Davis), and written by Jen Klein, who is significant to us because she cowrote Bratz: Passion 4 Fashion – Diamondz! We are so excited, we can hardly catch our breath!

The Choking Game premieres Saturday, July 26th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Vampire Academy Poster

A Vampire Academy sequel will happen if YOU open your wallet!

Do you like throwing your money at YA franchises that failed to make it at the box office? Well, Vampire Academy has an offer for you! Despite Vampire Academy not setting the box office afire (or even creating sparks!), Vampire Academy is following in the YA franchise tradition of going ahead with an ill-advised sequel that will lose money. But there’s a twist! The twist is YOU will make up the difference, thus the rich producers will not lose any money, and the Real Fans will feel more involved. It’s win-win, unless you are an innocent bystander, like I am.

As the Facebook Announcement says:

We are excited to announce that we have raised the majority of our funds for FROSTBITE – but there is one small catch (we told you this wouldn’t be easy)…We need proof that the fans truly want to see the franchise continue. And so, we will be launching a crowd funding campaign and putting the power in your hands. More details to come later this week.

So, ‪#‎VAFamily‬ – Are you ready to make history? ‪#‎Frostbite2015‬

No word on if everyone will be back, but I’m thinking thanks to the magic of contractual obligations you can expect everyone. Will this go down the road of the bomb Percy Jackson 2, or the upcoming Mortal Instruments sequel that was delayed because of how bad Mortal Instruments: City of Bones did? We shall see…

Until then, start saving your pennies, because you need to throw money at this failed franchise instead of throwing money at all those other projects posted by actual independent struggling artists!

Vampire Academy Poster

How about “They suck at sequels!”?

Mary Kom poster

Priyanka Chopra is Mary Kom in Mary Kom!

Priyanka Chopra has tweeted out photos of her upcoming biopic about MC Mary Kom, the Olympic boxer who won a bronze medal in 2012. Mary Kom is directed by Omung Kumar. The film looks interesting not just because it’s a film about a physically strong female character played by an actress who had to bulk up the muscles for the role, but because of what else Priyanka Chopra did for the role. Because Mary Kom is from the northeastern state of Manipur and Priyanka Chopra is Punjabi, Chopra is sporting eyelid makeup to give her a more slanted eye look. That sort of makeup would be frowned upon intently in America, but doesn’t seem to be as big of a deal in India. At least, Mary Kom and Piryanka Chopra are hanging out and there doesn’t seem to be a big deal. Priyanka Chopra is a bankable actress, which is the main reason she’s starring and not a talented northeastern actress.

That aside, the posters look fun, so hopefully this turns out to be pretty decent. Mary Kom is awesome, and currently is heading up female fighting clubs to teach women self-defense in the wake of the rash of high-profile sexual violence in India.

via Priyanka Chopra

Mary Kom poster

Mary Kom poster

Earthfall

CineTelFilms turns disaster porn into a disaster gangbang!

CineTelFilms has some interesting upcoming disaster flicks on the way. If that name is familiar, they are the production company behind the amusingly titled films Independence Daysaster and Earthtastrophe. Well, the combined disaster titles are a reoccurring theme of their forthcoming slate, as problem after problem is mixed and matched like a drunken crazy quilt until the movies below pop out, all due soon in 2014 or 2015! Never fear, even if many of these films are just posters and titles and vague synopsis (or less!), TarsTarkas.NET is there to lay it all on the line for YOU to be informed!

So what are you waiting for? Read on!

LA Apocalypse
Cast: Gina Holden, Eric Allan Kramer, Christopher Judge
Director: Michael J. Sarna

For 5 billion years the Earth’s core has operated like a giant, nuclear reactor. Now it’s overheated, melting down like a bomb that’s about to explode. The earth is being ripped apart at the seams and beneath LA, pressure is building.

After a mass evacuation, Calvin Crawford is one of few left, desperately searching for his fiance, Ashley Pace, who unbeknownst to him, has been kidnapped and is being held hostage. With LA becoming more unstable by the minute, Calvin, must find a way to save Ashley and get them both to safety before the city is completely annihilated.

LA Apocalypse

Fire Twister
Cast: Casper Van Dien, Alyvia Alyn Lind, Jon Mack
Director: George Erschbamer
IMDB link
No synopsis
Fire Twister

Earthfall
Director: Steven Daniels
Writer: Colin Reese
Starring: Lou Ferrigno Jr., Joe Lando, Michelle Stafford
The gravity of a rogue planet screaming past Jupiter has flung the Earth from its orbit…
IMDB link
Earthfall

Stormageddon

What happens when you ask the most powerful computer program, run by the most powerful computers, to follow, listen, and predict human behavior for three decades?… The program learns, becomes sentient and begins to think like a human! Now this omnipotent and omnipresent program will bring the world to Armageddon…and the clock is already ticking…

stormageddon

Icetastrophe

“This Christmas, a super frozen object is going to slam into the Earth, in the middle of a small town, and very quickly, dreams of a “White Christmas” will turn into a FROZEN NIGHTMARE”.

icetastrophe

Guilty at 17 Lifetime

Guilty at 17 proves 17 is the most dangerous age to be on Lifetime!

Guilty at 17 Lifetime

I was guilty at 16 because I’m an early bloomer!


Lifetime is back in the teen torturing business with the latest entry in the “at 17” canon, Guilty at 17! You will be thrilled to see how Traci’s life goes completely crazy once she’s convinced to lie about a teacher at school. Yes, she’s guilty of perjury! And also of feeling guilty. That’s the deepest cut of them all…

Christine Conradt has written an extensive number of Lifetime films, including all these examples of bad things that happen at age 17: Dead at 17, Accused at 17, Betrayed at 17, Stalked at 17, and Missing at 17. Basically, in the Lifetime Universe, age 17 is the worst year ever! Conradt also wrote The Mentor and The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom. She’s Lifetime’s secret weapon of awesome!

This time she’s joined by David DeCrane and Douglas Howell. DeCrane is a producer who has cowritten several of the Lifetime flicks he works on, and Howell is a PA/producer who also dabbles in cowritting. Director Anthony Lefresne helmed The Mentor, Another Man’s Wife, and was assistant director on a huge chunk of Lifetime’s recent movies.

When 17-year-old Traci is lured into claiming she saw her high school teacher, Mr. Adams, sexually harass another student, Devon, she believes she’s doing the right thing. According to Devon, whenever they are alone Mr. Adams has been sexually inappropriate. When the scandal breaks and Adams is fired, Traci is horrified to find out that, two days later, the distraught man has committed suicide. On top of it, Traci’s father suffers a heart attack and she is still dealing with the loss of her track scholarship after tearing her knee. Incredibly distraught, Traci opens up to June, a new substitute teacher at the school that she has started to befriend. She doesn’t know that June is actually Adams’ daughter who got a job at the school so she could find out what really happened between her father and Devon. Seeing Traci is about to cave, June presses the girl to tell her the truth. Fearing she may soon be exposed, Devon and her boyfriend Jay decide to take matters in their own hands to prevent Traci’s confession…

Guilty at 17 stars Erin Sanders as Traci, Chloe Rose as Devon, Alex Paxton-Beesley as June, Catherine Dent, Michael Woods, Rod Stewart, Kevin Bundy, Jefferson Brown, Zach Peladeau, and Vanessa Morgan.

Guilty at 17 premieres Saturday, July 20th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Expecting Amish

Expecting Amish – Lifetime knocks up an Amish teen!

Expecting Amish

And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone


How can we make the average pregnant teen drama movie more drama-lama? Let’s make her Amish! They say there are no bad ideas in a brainstorm, and someone believed that statement, thus they listened to the idea in the last sentence to bring us Expecting Amish!

We all know Rumspringa because of that movie Devil’s Playground, but now you can experience it like never before, in Lifetime Channel form!

18-year-old Hannah Yoder is ready to become an Amish adult – which means baptism into the Church, and marriage to her boyfriend Samuel. But her friends convince her to go on Rumspringa in Hollywood where she wears jeans and makeup for the first time and begins to think for herself, making her own decisions. She meets Josh, a DJ, and the two click instantly becoming inseparable. On their last night together, Hannah confides that she doesn’t want to be baptized and wants to stay in LA – but she has to go home to tell her family. When she returns to Amish country, Hannah learns she is pregnant and must make the painful choice of staying with Samuel and raising the baby as his, or return to Josh and risk being shunned forever!

The main cast are a bunch of Disney alums with actor/musician credits: AJ Michalka, Jesse McCartney, and Alyson Stoner. I don’t know if they’ll sing. There are also costars Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Cayden Boyd, Carrie Wampler, and Aurelia Scheppers. I don’t know if they’ll sing, either.

Expecting Amish is directed by cult movie director Richard Gabai, who directed Assault of the Party Nerds, Assault of the Party Nerds 2: The Heavy Petting Detective, Vice Girls, and Kickboxing Academy, among other flicks I’ve seen thanks to the wonders of 90s video stores.

Expecting Amish premieres Saturday, July 19th on Lifetime! Until then, you’ll just have to wonder if there will be any hot bare ankle action! Prepare your horse and buggy for a wild ride!

via Lifetime