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Nine Lives of Christmas Hallmark Channel
InMovie News

Hallmark Channel brings an angel-packed 12 new movies Christmas

September 17, 2014By

A Cookie Cutter Christmas Hallmark Channel

Does Lifetime bribe you with cookies? I think not!


Christmas comes earlier each year, where soon Christmas will be year round and we will have a cure for overpopulation as millions kill themselves after the 5000th replay of Baby, It’s Cold Outside. On that note, Hallmark Channel has announced their two month long Christmas movie extravaganza! In September! Which sort of makes sense, because the first movie is on November 1st. Normally these cable channels are pretty bad at doing publicity for the film events on their station, so when a big press release gets dumped on their site as a news story, it’s my duty to copy it here (with commentary!), and then bring up each film again as their premiere dates get closer. It’s also a big reveal which one of the 12 movies Hallmark is pushing the most, because one film already has its own section on HallmarkChannel.com! Can you predict which one it is based on the 12 movie descriptions? You just might be surprised!

One Starry Christmas
Saturday, November 1, 8/7c
Starring: Sarah Carter, Damon Runyan, George Canyon, Paul Popowhich

An aspiring astronomy professor finds unexpected Christmas romance when she meets a charming cowboy during her holiday travel. As she decides between this new cowboy and her practical boyfriend, she must decide whether it’s better to play it safe in love, or let an adventurous cowboy steal her heart.

Wait, is this the plot of Back to the Future III? Will that cowboy have a secret weather experiment somewhere? Sadly, no. But it does have white people in love!

The Nine Lives of Christmas
Saturday, November 8, 8/7c
Starring: Brandon Routh, Kimberley Sustad, Stephanie Bennett, Chelsea Hobbs, Sean Tyson, Dalias Blake, Gregory Harrison

With Christmas approaching, a handsome fireman afraid of commitment adopts a stray cat and meets a beautiful veterinary student who challenges his decision to remain a confirmed bachelor.

I’m not sure what the cat has to do with the plot, except for the fact it made me care about the film. And will be a guaranteed better Christmas cat movie than The Grumpy Cat movie. Superman is a firefighter and has a cat, and loves a vet lady, this will be ratings gold. It’s also unofficial Garfield fan fiction!

Nine Lives of Christmas Hallmark Channel

I Hallmark Mondays!


A Cookie Cutter Christmas
Sunday, November 9, 8/7c
Starring: Erin Krakow, Alan Thicke, David Haydn-Jones, Miranda Frigon, Laura Soltis, Genae Marie Charpentier

Two longtime rivals and elementary school teachers duke it out during the holidays in a Christmas cookie bake-off, but their real feud ignites over a shared interest in a handsome single dad. With both determined to win the prize and the romance, their competitiveness could jeopardize what matters most this Christmas season.

This sounds like an episode of a sitcom, but could make a funny romance film. Or at least make me want to get cookies!

Northpole
Saturday, November 15, 8/7c
Starring: Tiffani Thiessen, Josh Hopkins, Bailee Madison, Max Charles, Candice Glover, Robert Wagner, Jill St. John

Northpole, the magical city where Santa and his elves live and work is in trouble. Families around the globe have gotten too busy to enjoy the season together, and Northpole depends on their holiday happiness to keep running. In the hopes of turning things around, a determined young elf befriends a little boy with a lot of spirit. His skeptical journalist mom doesn’t have room in her heart for anything but the facts, so it’s going to take a little nudge from his charming teacher to create an unbeatable Christmas team to turn around this town and share the importance of the season with the whole world.

People are too burnt out about Christmas to enjoy Christmas, brought to you by a two-month long Christmas movie marathon advertised in September??

Angels and Ornaments
Sunday, November 16, 8/7c
Starring: Jessalyn Gilsig, Sergio Di Zio, Graham Abbey, Samantha Espie, Roger Doche

Corrine’s holiday season gets an unexpected dose of romance when she meets the mysterious Harold, who is on a deadline from a higher power to help Corrine find her true love by Christmas Eve. As the clock ticks down to Harold’s deadline, Corrine must decide if she will open up to Christmas love.

It’s not Christmas unless someone is doing a riff on It’s a Wonderful Life. In fact, there are THREE films on this list that involve angels finding love for people on Christmas. That almost makes up for there being no version of A Christmas Carol. Almost.

A Royal Christmas
Saturday, November 22, 8/7c
Starring: Lacey Chabert, Jane Seymour, Stephen Hagan, Katherine Flynn

A young working girl with a blue-collar background is surprised when her new fiancé announces he is actually a prince of a small sovereign country in Europe. After the couple quickly takes off to spend the holidays at his family’s sprawling, royal castle, she must work hard to win over her disapproving and unaccepting future mother-in-law—the Queen—and find out if love truly can conquer all.

Congrats! You’re now a princess and the media will hound you until they kill you, and the monarchy is an obsolete and ridiculous system in the 21st century. I think I’ll pass this one, even with Jane Seymour as the disapproving Queen.
 
The Christmas Shepherd
Sunday, November 23, 8/7c
Starring: Teri Polo, Martin Cummins, Jordyn Olson, Jill Teed

A successful children’s book author and Army widow loses her late husband’s German Shepherd, Buddy, only to later find him adopted by a new family – a single father and his daughter. Each finds a sense of Christmas spirit as they struggle to decide with whom the dog really belongs.

Yeah, yeah, they’re gonna get married. But there’s a dog, and maybe funny dog antics. And possibly scenes where Teri Polo and Martin Cummins hate each other before they love each other. But I’m mostly here for the dog.

Debbie Macomber’s Mr. Miracle
Saturday, November 29, 8/7c
Starring: Rob Morrow, Michelle Harrison, Britt Irvin, Sarah-Jane Redmond, Andrew Francis

Heavenly angel Harry Mills is sent to Earth on a trial assignment to intervene in the life of a woman who needs help getting her life on track after the death of her father. With a deadline of Christmas day, he attempts to help her heal in order to embrace a new future, and an unexpected love, just in time to celebrate the miracle of the holiday season.  

Debbie Macomber is Hallmark’s golden goose, their films based on her romance novels score record ratings, and their first ever original series is based on her work. So it is only natural there is one of her stories in this huge batch of films, even if it is yet another angel romance Christmas film.

Christmas Under Wraps
Sunday, November 30, 8/7c
Starring: Candace Cameron Bure

When a driven doctor doesn’t get the prestigious position she planned for, she unexpectedly finds herself moving to a remote Alaskan town. While she meets the locals and even starts a new romance, she has to learn to let the life she planned for give way to a love she never could have imagined, and finds this festive small town is hiding one big holiday secret.

Gender-swapped Christmas Northern Exposure???

Christmas at Cartwrights
Saturday, December 6, 8/7c
Starring: Alicia Witt, Wallace Shawn

With Christmas approaching, a struggling single mom finds herself working as a department store Santa Claus, as a real-life angel delivers good fortune and the possibility of holiday romance.

So many angels will be getting their wings thanks to Hallmark Channel, that the resulting trillions of bells ringing will crack the Earth open and cause a mass calamity! I’m guessing Wallace Shawn is the angel, though it’d be hilarious if he was the love interest.

Best Christmas Party Ever
Saturday, December 13, 8/7c
Starring: Torrey DeVitto, Steve Lund, Linda Thorson and Harmon Walsh

With the holidays approaching, a young party planner arranges a special Christmas party for a New York toy store. When a powerful corporation threatens to shut her down, she decides to follow her heart, moving forward with the party plans and finding true love in time for Christmas.

Why is a powerful corporation picking on a poor party planner? I don’t know, but this will be the best Christmas party ever if it is the party that starts the revolution that puts the capitalist pigs against the walls! ¡Viva la Revolución!

The Christmas Parade
Sunday, December 14, 8/7c
Starring: AnnaLynne McCord, Jefferson Brown, Drew Scott

A popular network morning host finds herself humiliated on the air by her fiancé and disappears to a small town. While there, she helps a budding artist save a community art center for the town’s kids, by helping them with their float for the annual Christmas Parade. 

Wait a minute, one of the Property Brothers is in this? I didn’t even know they had careers in made for tv movies! But is he the new love or the jerk ex-boyfriend? And will he get run over by a parade float? That would be a Christmas miracle!

Did you guess which one of these film Hallmark is already pushing with extra promotion? If you said Northpole, you are correct, though I have no idea why that one is getting the bump. I’m definitely most interested in The Nine Lives of Christmas, but I’ll give all these films their dues as their air dates approach and their trailers and promotional images begin to appear.

Recipe for Love hallmark
InMovie News

Recipe for Love simmers on Hallmark Channel!

September 16, 2014By

Recipe for Love hallmark

Look, I’m not taking cooking advice from a barefoot cook!


Recipe for Love asks if good chef and bad boy chefs can come together without there being too many chefs to spoil the pot. The pot being love! Just pretend the bad boy chef is your favorite obnoxious tv chef (even though he doesn’t look like any of the ones I don’t like) and this film could get tasty! Or just weird. Also Peter DeLuise plays himself.

Recipe for Love stars Danielle Panabaker, Shawn Roberts, and Pascale Hutton.

Lauren Hennessey (Danielle Panabaker) has always loved to cook and is a proud perfectionist at her job at “Food & Entertainment Magazine’s” test kitchen while she dreams of being able to finally afford culinary school in Paris. When her boss offers her a bonus if she agrees to ghostwrite the cookbook of a difficult celebrity chef, Lauren sees her dream becoming a reality as soon as she can tame the notorious bad boy chef in question, Dexter Durant (Shawn Roberts). Slowly peeling back the layers of Dexter’s tough-guy persona, she starts seeing a different, vulnerable side to this big-shot chef. Suddenly, their dueling culinary styles become the perfect complement in the kitchen and an attraction between them starts to boil over.

As the cookbook nears completion, Dexter and a scheming young chef must face off in a final cook-off, judged by celebrity Peter DeLuise (as himself). Will Dexter win the competition and Lauren’s love?

Recipe for Love is written by Michael J. Murray (Honor Thy Father and Mother: The True Story of the Menendez Murders), and directed by Ron Oliver (Beethoven’s Treasure Tail)

Recipe for Love premieres Saturday, October 11, on Hallmark Channel

via Hallmark

Star Smores Sesame Street Cookie Monster
InMovie News

Star S’Mores is a galaxy of fun Sesame Street wisdom!

September 16, 2014By


Sesame Street is back with a whole new season of movie parody viral videos. And now they’ve done a doozy, with the OG Star Wars parody, Star S’Mores! Snuffie Banthas! Trash Can Droids! Oreo Princess Leia buns! (or Princess Parfaita!) Obi-Wan as Only One Cannoli! Grover as Yoda! Darth Baker! Marshmallow stormtroopers! And so much more! Plus you can learn about self-control, something so many adults need to learn, not just small fries.

Special shout-out for not making Cookie Monster the Wookiee, because not only is that waaaaay too obvious, but it has already been done by Hardware Wars!

A long time ago in a cookies and milky way galaxy far, far away…Princess Parfaita was taken prisoner by the evil Galactic Empire and had to be saved by a group of unlikely heroes including the young Luke Piewalker, Flan Solo, and Chewie the Cookie.

So learn some self-control, you impulsive maniac!

The Assault Lifetime
InMovie News

The Assault brings a heavy subject to Lifetime!

September 10, 2014By

The Assault Lifetime

The Assault is the latest Lifetime Original Movie, this time covering a football team drugging and sexually assaulting a female student and no one believing her. From the subject matter, this might be set a bit more serious than the usual overdone drama. But from the pictures of Makenzie Vega dousing herself in gasoline on the football field while wearing her cheerleader uniform, maybe it will still be campy. The only way to know is to watch it yourself!

The Assault stars Makenzie Vega (Saw), Khandi Alexander (Newsradio), Malik Yoba, Gary Weeks, Amy Bruckner, Maya Morales, Michael Cognata, and Kayla Harrity.

The Assault is directed by Jason Winn (The Adventures of Paula Peril) and written by Jennifer Maisel (Double Wedding). They are not Lifetime regulars, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything in regards to the quality of the film.

After a cheerleader is sexual assaulted by the high school football team, she must overcome her shame and use the evidence gathered from the subsequent social media firestorm to piece together the night that she can’t remember in her fight for justice.

The Assault premieres Saturday, September 20th on Lifetime

via Lifetime

Samurai Cop 2 poster
InMovie News

A friendly Samurai Cop 2 Kickstarter reminder!

September 8, 2014By

I’m sure you heard by now that the greatest movie ever made, Samurai Cop, has a sequel in production and has launched a kickstarter! So just in case you lived in a cave, now you know. For those of you not in a cave, now you got a reminder! If you’ve never seen Samurai Cop, then you need to stop whatever you are doing and go watch it. I don’t care if lives depend on you doing stuff, Samurai Cop is more important! Okay, maybe not, but as soon as no one will die, go watch Samurai Cop a couple dozen times. Then open up your wallets for Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance!

Not only has Matt Hannon returned from the dead to become Samurai Cop Joe Marshall again, but Mark Frazer is also returning as Frank Washington! Melissa Moore also returns as Peggy, and they managed to also get original cast members Cranston Komuro, Gerald Okamura, and Robert Z’Dar to also appear. I’m not sure if they will be reincarnated versions of their classic characters, or original characters who all happen to be identical twins of those killed last time.

It’s 25 years later, and Detective Frank Washington is forced to team up with his long estranged partner Joe Marshall to solve a series of assassinations being committed by a secret group of female vigilante killers.

There is also a whole host of new stars, including some classic people and a bunch of porn stars who readers here will be familiar with due to their appearances in Retromedia and Jim Wynorski movies!

GEORGE LAZENBY (Agent 007 James Bond in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”)
ROBERT Z’DAR (“Samurai Cop,” “Maniac Cop,” “Tango & Cash”)
SEYMOUR CASSEL (Oscar Nominee, “Faces,” Wes Anderson films)
HENRY SILVA (Eurocrime genre actor, “The Manchurian Candidate,” “Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai,” “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century”)
LAURENE LANDON (“Hundra,” “All The Marbles”)
KAYDEN KROSS (“Blue Dream”)
LEXI BELLE (Penthouse Pet of the Year, 2014)
NICOLE BAILEY (Mac Miller and the Most Dope Family)
KRISTINE DeBELL (“The Big Brawl,” “Meatballs”)
NICOLE D’ANGELO (“Blue Dream”)
STUART WHITMAN (“The Longest Day,” “Superboy,” “Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines”)
EDDIE DEEZEN (“Grease,” “War Games.” “The Polar Express”)
SHANE RYAN (“Amateur Porn Star Killer”)
MATTHEW MAHANEY (“Days of Our Lives”)
JESSE HLUBIK (“May,” “I Know Who Killed Me”)
SEAN McNABB (“Quiet Riot”, “Dokken”)
NAOYUKI IKEDA (“Hunter”)
LISA LONDON (“Sudden Impact”)
MINDY ROBINSON (“Gym Rescue,” “V/H/S/2”)
RON BECKS (“Hunter”)
RAMZI ABED (“The Devil’s Muse”)
SHAUN PICCININO (“The Lackey,” “Bat In The Sun’s Super Power Beat Down”)
EDWIN A. SANTOS (“Mad Cowgirl”)
MAGDA MARCELLA (“Miracle Mile Girls”)
SHAWN C. PHILLIPS (“Dysmorphia,” “Ghost Shark”)

Now, a lot of older movies that get sequels often have the sequels be terrible, and many movies that became cult classics that got sequels later faced having sequels that were no good. So there is always the danger that this film will just be awful. But the cast seems very excited for it, and Samurai Cop is a film that it is almost impossible to live up to. But with the talent they are throwing in, the film will at least be so full of things happening that we won’t have time to catch our breath. Much like a good portion of the original, that had lots of awesome action sequences that just kept going and kept the funeral parlors in LA very busy with all the bodies.

The best news of this Kickstarter is Amir Shervan apparently had more than the three films he was known for (along with the foreign stuff) back when Samurai Cop was first discovered. Besides Samurai Cop, Hollywood Cop, and Killing American Style, there is also Young Rebels and Gypsy, the last one not having been seen anywhere before.

Regardless of outcome, I’m excited for this event, and have high hopes for the film!

Disclaimer: I plan on donating to this Kickstarter.

Samurai Cop 2 poster

Big Driver Lifetime
InMovie News

Stephen King’s Big Driver rides on to Lifetime!

September 8, 2014By

Big Driver Lifetime

Big Driver sounds like a character name from Austin Powers


Lifetime isn’t just adapting trashy biopics and deformed cats for their network, they’ve put up a solid array of literature, some of which make up their strongest cinema entries. Their first Stephen King adaptation will be Big Driver, which is a rape and revenge tale with the King flavor. Big Driver stars Maria Bello, which by itself means it will be good. There is also the bonus talent of Olympia Dukakis and Joan Jett, as well as Ann Dowd and Will Harris. This is an amazingly talented cast. The only video so far is some dark scenes of roads set to spooky music, so I can’t get a sense of the tone, except spooky.

Big Driver is directed by Mikael Salomon, who directed the Lifetime trash classic Drew Peterson: Untouchable, and adapted by Lifetime regular Richard Christian Matheson.

Big Driver premieres October 18th on Lifetime!

From a story by Stephen King, “Big Driver” marks the first collaboration between Lifetime and King. This dark story of a young novelist hell-bent on revenge after falling victim to a brutal crime stars Golden Globe nominee Maria Bello (“A History of Violence,” “McFarland”), Academy Award winner Olympia Dukakis (“Sex & Violence,” “Steel Magnolias”), Grammy nominee Joan Jett, film and television veteran Ann Dowd (“The Leftovers,” “Masters of Sex”) and Will Harris (“NCIS,” “Sky High”).

In “Big Driver,” Tess Thorne (Bello), a famous and revered mystery and thriller writer, faces a long drive home following a book-signing engagement. But while driving on a lonely stretch of New England road, her tire blows out, leaving her stranded. Relieved when another driver stops and offers assistance, Tess quickly discovers her savior is actually her assailant, a serial killer who repeatedly assaults her. Left for dead in a drainage pipe to rot with the bodies of his other victims, Tess escapes and makes her way safely home. With her fragile mind beginning to unravel, she is determined to find her rapist and seek revenge, as payback is the only thing holding her together.

Best-selling author Stephen King has penned more than 50 novels and hundreds of short stories, many of which have been adapted into feature films, including Frank Darabont’s Academy Award-nominated “The Shawshank Redemption” with Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins; the Stanley Kubrick classic, “The Shining,” with Jack Nicholson; and “Stand by Me,” directed by Rob Reiner starring River Phoenix, Kiefer Sutherland, Jerry O’Connell, Corey Feldman and Wil Wheaton. Other works based on his stories include the television series “Under the Dome,” as well as numerous top-selling comic books, including “The Stand and The Dark Tower” series. His novels have sold more than 350 million copies worldwide and have received a multitude of awards, including The Bram Stoker Award, Los Angeles Times Book Prize, National Book Award, National Magazine Award and World Fantasy Award.

Produced by Ostar Productions, “Big Driver” is executive produced by Bill Haber (“The Trip to Bountiful”) and Jeffrey Hayes (“A Day Late and A Dollar Short”). The screenplay adaptation was written by Richard Christian Matheson (“Masters of Horror,” “Happy Face Killer”) and is directed by Mikael Salomon (“Drew Peterson: Untouchable”). A+E Networks handles international sales for “Big Driver.”

via Lifetime

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