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The Little Rascals rebooting again due to popular demand!

The roar of the masses cannot be contained, and their frothy chants, their unified chorus of demands, the years of demonstrations and riots, have all lead to this point: The Little Rascals are being rebooted!

The joy of the people is immeasurable! One man I interviewed was speechless, unable to contain his emotions, he openly wept. This is a day long look towards, a day that shall be remembered, a day that will live on in song long after we depart this Earth.

Helming this important and historical film will be Alex Zamm, director of such treasured classics as Chairman of the Board, Inspector Gadget 2, Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts, Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2, and Tooth Fairy 2. The scrolls of quality films are endless, and The Little Rascals will be yet another notch on Zamm’s heavenly belt of divine cinema. We wait breathlessly at TarsTarkas.NET for word on who will be the new Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Froggy, Spanky, and Petey the dog.

via MovieHole

Chairman of the Board

Joss Whedon to write and direct Avengers 2!

Huzzah! Screw the haters, Avengers was almost gold, and it’s great Whedon has been announced as writing and directing the sequel. The Walt Disney Investors Conference Call announced it a little bit ago, and also announced Whedon will create the Marvel TV series for ABC. This is breaking all over Twitter so the source appears to be Marc Graser as the first announcer. The announcement came while Disney was releasing their 3rd Quarter profits information to the investors. Who will be Avenged this time? Will Nick Fury lose his other eye? Find out in The Avengers 2, many many years from now!

The Avengers

If it's Avengers 2, why are there three of us?

Upcoming SyFy original movies Boogeyman and Haunted High

SyFy (aka SciFi Channel for us purists!) is continuing the non-stop stream of creature features. Coming August 11th is Boogeyman, where some kids free the Boogeyman and he goes on a killer rampages. Notably, the Boogeyman is depicted as dating from the time of the Book of Genesis. Eddie McClintock plays the sheriff who’s got to bring him down. Emma Samms also stars. No word yet on if the Boogeyman will be as creepy as when he was on the Real Ghostbusters cartoon.

August 25 gives us Haunted High, which sadly is not about ghosts doing pot, but a bunch of kids trapped in a high school being killed by the ghost of an ex-principal. Danny Trejo, Charisma Carpenter and M.C. Gainey star.

via DreadCentral

Boogeyman Real Ghostbusters

Ghosts are afraid of ME!!

Metal Men to rust all over theaters soon!

Men in Black series director Barry Sonnenfeld is ramping up to direct another comic book movie, Metal Men! Yes, we all know who Metal Men is, so no explanation is needed. Okay, fine, I’ll explain it for the one guy who accidentally lands here while looking for “pictures chucky” (actual search term) Good guy but probably crazy scientist Dr. Will Magnus made six robots, each based on a metal, and used them as a super hero team to fight bad guys. Gold is the leader and can stretch, Iron is super strong, Tin is insecure, Lead is a moron and can turn into a shield to block radiation, Mercury can melt, and Platinum can flatten and think’s she’s a real woman named Tina. And she’s in love with Dr. Will Magnus

At some point they get rebooted so they’re transferred consciousnesses of real people trapped in the robot bodies. And sarcastic female Copper gets added to their lineup. I’m not going to touch when they were the Death Metal Men, because even I’m confused.

It sounds like someone saw all that money Iron Man was bringing in, and decided that dudes made of all sorts of metal were really hot right now! Look out, Silver Surfer!

via Vulture

Metal Men

Coming soon to a theater near YOU!

Masters Of The Universe just got their master

Or director. Same thing, right? The Masters of the Universe franchise is one of those childhood things I hold near and dear to my heart, right below Battle Beasts and Transformers, just above M.U.S.C.L.E.s. And the franchise has grown up with the fans, high quality figures are produced via Matty Collector, there was a more serious cartoon series for two seasons (sadly killed before it’s time), and a thriving custom figures market. Masters of the Universe also acclimated kids into the sword and sandal genre, giving the films and stories added legitimacy at a time when most of those kids were unable to watch Conan. Despite the concept’s flaws and complete existence as a commercial for toys, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe left a mark on society.

So of course it’s time for a reboot! The original film dumped most of the mythology and set the action in modern day Earth (to save money!), and the less said about it, the better. The current film rights are owned by Escape Artists, who got excited by a script entitled Greyskull by Alex Litvak and Mike Finch. As the 80s had the best toy franchises ever and Transformers made so much money they had to print more money, of course Masters of the Universe will interest the right people. And hopefully it’s good.

Jon Chu of GI Joe 2 fame is now attached as director. GI Joe 2 looked cool from the previews, though it was ganked from it’s released date for “3D retooling”, which means either the film sucks or the production company execs suck. Either one is likely at this point. Until then, we’ll have to watch the 3D Justin Bieber movie to find out how the direction will be.

Kermit He-Man

I would pay soooo much money to see this film, you would not believe...

Rush Hour 4: Still Rushin'

Producer Arthur Sarkissian tells Crave that Rush Hour 4 is happening, and both Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker will be back. He also claims to want it more like Rush Hour 1. More like Rush Hour 1? Did this guy forget that Rush Hour 3 was Rush Hour 1??? The only difference was the girl was grown up and didn’t sing Mariah Carey! Also someone forgot to tell Jackie Chan that saying Chinese Zodiac is your last action movie means you shouldn’t be doing another action movie. There is no way Jackie Chan will ever really retire until he’s physically unable to act, but gimmick marketing techniques to not become him. But he’ll be less actiony in his movies, so no more jumping off buildings. That much.

Sarkissian also slammed Brett Ratner, the director of the prior 3 films, apparently unhappy at the way the director has moved the franchise. But I bet Sarkissian wasn’t complaining about the dump trucks full of money the series was bringing in.
Rush Hour