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Star Trekkin'

Being a giant nerd, I was totally into Star Trek as a kid and had all sorts of third party books and blueprints and other nerd crap. But even I know the difference between reality and fantasy. The internet has allowed the world to come together and exchange information in ways never dreamt of. There is a dark side to this information exchange. Namely, much information is horrible and should never be seen by anyone. Not because of censorship, but because it is just crazy. And thus, here are some crazy Star Trek fan wank stuff that I have found recently:

It appears to be a big thing in Star Trek fanfic to make pictures of your characters using actual actors:
Swiftfire_crew01
What a shame they can never make this movie, what with one actor being dead. The creator seems to have a thing for blondes and black men, so know we know what kind of porn this guy watches, as well. And LOL at Vulcan Chris Rock.

Let’s rock!
captn._godcor
This is the same dude:
Godcor_11

Good Lord…

As part of a request from Admiral Nathan Jenkins, the “Kazue” variant was based on a japanese female “Maki Goto” from the 21st Century due to his admiration of japanese culture.

Who is Nathan Jenkins?

Admiral Nathan Jenkins is one of the most honourable Starfleet Officers of his time, due to his Caitian heritage from his father he treasures important things as sacred and that includes the laws of the Federation. However there comes a time when an officer must take a stand for what he knows is right and Admiral Jenkins is no different.

One thing Admiral Jenkins will not stand for is insubordination from his crew, but despite this he has always tried to have a joke and a laugh with othes especially with his crew because he feels one must be close to ones’ crew. This means that Admiral Jenkins will stake a lot for his crew to make sure they are safe because they are his friends and are also like to most Captains are like family to him.

Also because of his aggressive nature he can often be found having arguements with others, adding to this is the “honour” of sorts that Caitians carry similarly to the Klingons in that Admiral Jenkins although being only a Half Caitian hates to lose.
Appearance

Because Admiral Jenkins is the offspring of a Human and a Caitian he therefore has both attributes common to both species. He has two cat like ears coming out from either side of his hair, and also has a long furry tail near the bottom of his spine.

However he has a very humanoid body in appearance lacking the furry appearance that a Caitian would typically have. While having a young appearance, it is almost impossible to know how old he really is, but due to his Human DNA one would expect him to be the age he appears.

There is actually a lot of cat people, but this guy goes way crazy trying to explain it instead of just making another Caitian/human character:

dr. Peterson is a scientist and her specialties are bio physics. One day there was an accident in her lab and she woke up in the sick bay a few days later how ever she had changed and she was realizing this since shortly after she woke up. Zoey was studying a certain Cat like creature from a new found world when the accident happened. she was studying some of its DNA and found some thing remarkable but when she had slipped and fell into a table of a bunch of beakers and DNA samples they all fell onto her and fused into her DNA and she her self had become a bit just like the cat like creature. The only deference was she would still be in her human form but at times she would have cat ears and a tail sprout out at certain reactions of her own such as excitement, and embarrassment. Only the doctor that treated her knows her certain condition and it is not life threatening so she decided she would be able to live with this since the affects can’t be reversed. Some of the side effects she has is she has four newly pointed teeth always. And there is some times that cat urge to do what cats like to do such as play with a ball of string if she sees it.

Zoey Was transferred after the accident a year later to the USS Daystrom to be first officer due to one reason Cannons. Cannons had worked with Zoey back in the academy and when he found that she was at the rank of Commander decided to reunite them and work together as a team once again.

Huh…
Raymond L. Anders

Captain Raymond believes everyone is equal, has a right to a good life and believes all are capable of good. He upholds the beliefs of the Federation and will always look for a peaceful solution to any hostile situation. This is seen in Raymond’s style of command and the way he deals with people.

Raymond does not believe war is the final solution to a problem but believes diplomacy and understand is the true way of peace. However Raymond being a part of Combat Division will always do his duty for Second Fleet and Starfleet, even if that means coming into conflict. He understands the need for protection and self sacrifice, especially when it means protecting the honour and well-being of the Federation.

The house of Vra’chath spread the word of Captain Anders’s deeds which led to him having influence with the Klingon people. But Raymond has also acquired enemies in his quest to help create a peaceful and fair galaxy, such as the fanatical Romulan royalists who kill all who seek negotiation with the United Federation of Planets and the Kalosian Terrorist. Raymond will always fight on the side of good, through upholding the incorruptible political values and upstanding beliefs of the Federation.
Physical Description

Handsome, tall white male with brown eyes and brown hair . Has regular exercise to keep a health body and an alert mind, he is always prepared for any condition Starfleet assigns.

Me

Look out, J-Lo!
Theleth-0f9

This is the tip of the ice berg. You don’t want to go down this rabbit hole. You don’t.
v299
Seriously…

Bandolier Babes – Indian C-Grade Cinema

This article is from the year 2000, but has lots of cool information so I am reproducing it here. It goes into an overview of the C-grade cinema films that were a cash cow in the country at the time, mostly focusing on the Women getting revenge genre. Besides showing how those films make a profit, it gives us some actresses and films to keep an eye out for. Indian low budget cinema is a genre barely covered in Western media and all but ignored in Indian media as well.

Actresses:
Durgesh Nandini
Dharmendra
Satnam Kaur

Films:
Lady Dacoit
Geeta Mera Naam
Basanti
Thakurain
Champakali
Daku Maharani
Daku Dilruba
Zohrabai
Phool Bani Phoolan
Sultana Mera Naam
Munnibai

Bandolier Babes

Clad in black leather and brandishing guns, these buxom heroines with rudimentary acting skills are hamming their way to box-office profits

By Sandeep Unnithan
C-ECONOMICS

The writhing heroine is in the process of “losing her honour” to the troika of the lala, thakur and thanedaar. Macho hero Dharmendra wades in throwing punches and snorting his trademark “kuttey kameenay”. But he’s too late to prevent the humiliated woman from becoming a vengeance-seeking dacoit.

No 1970s Bollywood retro or an MTV promo this. In the less demanding depths of C-moviedom, the dacoit saga is going through a renaissance. With one difference: the protagonist is a woman. So there’s Lady Dacoit, Geeta Mera Naam, Basanti, Thakurain, Champakali or Daku Maharani. Acting skills aren’t required; it’s enough that they impart some credulity to action sequences and can ride horses. One other thing: an ample bosom is a must, if one goes by the cleavage on the garish posters. “A Hunterwali,” sums up producer Vimal Jain. Established actresses like Satnam Kaur command between Rs 5,000 and Rs 10,000 per day. Freshers are paid a measly Rs 500 a day and are required to pass a screen test. In any case, they “only want a chance to appear before the camera”, offers Jain.

“I’ll do whatever role is offered to me. It’s better than sitting at home,” sighs Kaur, a stocky 30-something virago of Daku Dilruba and Zohrabai. She has spent very little time at home in the past few months and is C-filmdom’s No. 1 with over a dozen films on the floor. As for her repertoire, listen to her sister Rajni, who says, “Satnam is away shooting for a dacoit film. I don’t know which, they’re all the same.”

Says Jain, a handicraft-exporter-turned-producer of Phool Bani Phoolan, Sultana Mera Naam and Daku Maharani: “We cater to the front-benchers who want action and can’t digest love stories.” Trade analyst Taran Adarsh feels the action here is of a slightly different sort: “This female dacoit theme is only a pretext for introducing the element of sex-the mandatory Phoolan Devi-esque rape that justifies the actress turning into a dacoit.”

Such films offer ample scope for inserting soft porn clips that are shot separately and spliced with the film-one reason why Adarsh says they should be banned. The films also have raunchy mujras to get the hoi-polloi on their feet. “I know the stories are the same, but it makes for cheap entertainment,” confesses Lallan Yadav, a rickshaw driver queuing up for a first day, first show outside the grandiosely named Dreamland theatre in Mumbai.

The C-grade dacoit cloudburst began with the release of the innocuously-titled Munnibai earlier this year. Made by producer-director Kanti Shah for Rs 30 lakh, it sold for Rs 10 lakh a territory, ran to full houses even in Mumbai and went on to do a business of nearly Rs 1 crore all over the country. Hundreds of small-time producers rushed in, lemming like, to capitalise on the trend. “Markets are created and the little niches left behind are filled by these films,” shrugs Sholay maker Ramesh Sippy.

‘It’s Instant Justice’: These films, made for Rs 10-30 lakh, make good for distributors who cannot afford a Shah Rukh Khan or a Salman Khan. “Today you either take a high-risk gamble with a Rs 15-crore Subhash Ghai film or a low-risk gamble with a Rs 15-lakh dacoit film,” says Raza Murad. “The middle category has been wiped out by television.” Along with Shakti Kapoor, Joginder and Mohan Joshi, Murad is the perpetual baddie battling good guy Dharmendra in these films. Murad, who effortlessly plays evil thakur, corrupt police officer and dacoit, says he shoots for most films in just a single day. “It’s instant justice,” he laughs. “In the morning I do the dastardly deeds required of my character and in the evening I am punished for them.”

Passing off for the Chambal and cliched film-towns like Rampur and Sitapur are the sweaty studios of Mumbai-Chandivali, Essel and Filmcity-where these films are shot with rapid-fire regularity. Hastily dubbed and edited with stock action footage, bomb blasts, thundering hooves and advertised by garish posters, the films are auctioned off for Rs 5 lakh to 10 lakh in the five film territories to earn its makers a profit of a few lakh.

But if there’s money in these quickies, the depressed equestrian market isn’t getting a slice of it. “They’re fast,” says an exasperated Jitu Verma, whose firm has fuelled much of Bollywood’s post-Sholay horse and dacoit craze. “They use our cheapest horses and finish all the sequences in a day. We don’t make much money.”

But pace is, indeed, the essence of these films. “We believe in quantity not quality,” explains director S.R. Pratap who cans eight to nine scenes a day. In his latest Daku Kali Bhawani, a host of motorists and bystanders can be seen onscreen, gawking at the scene ostensibly set in the ravines of north India. “There is no time for details,” says the director who started out as a clapper boy in Chor Machaye Shor in 1973.

Amid all this is Dharmendra, the man who has by all accounts toppled Ooty-based Mithun Chakraborty as the king of C films. The 65-year-old star, practically out of work in big-time Bollywood, is now cashing in on his crowd-pulling potential in the northern theatre circuit. Reportedly signed on for over 20 films, Dharmendra commands Rs 1 lakh per day for a nine-hour shift. He perhaps is the greatest fan of these spaghetti easterns.

Durgesh Nandini in Champakali

Durgesh Nandini in Champakali

You're a Looner!

Looner is a band made up of a husband and wife duo who just happened to score the Teenage Caveman remake we reviewed here a while back. The band even got the name from a line in the film, probably the only good thing the film has spawned. Thus, they emailed me a bit ago to promote themselves as they are releasing some singles soon. Since what I listened to wasn’t that bad, I agreed because I can link to my own review when I talk about them. And, no, I don’t plan to plug every random band that emails me. Now that the full disclosure is out of the way, let’s get to what is important, which is the actual songs:

Video for “I Love My Tamagotchee!”

Looner is made up of husband and wife Angel Roché Jr. and Zoë Roché. Zoë Roché is actually the daughter of Basil Poledouris, responsible for films scores from Conan and Starship Troopers. Zoë even contributed to some of those scores.

Official Website
If you like the song check them out, if you don’t then you probably aren’t reading this far anyway.

Photo 1 Color

Kitten update

As of today, the kittens I found have been spayed and put up for adoption. Two of them are no longer on the website, so it looks like they got adopted right away!

Poppy is the only one left:
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Rosie
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and Mittens
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have been adopted. If for some reason Poppy doesn’t find a home we are already listed to get her, which means we’ll have to get her to Illinois from California so my mom can watch her until we get an apartment where we can have cats. Hopefully she finds a good home as well. Hopefully next time I find kittens my family won’t be suffering from the financiapocalypse!