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Books I Done Been Reading! – The Madams of San Francisco

The Madams of San Francisco: An Irreverent History of the city by the Golden Gate
by Curt Gentry (1964)

A surprising find at the library turned out to be a pretty interesting history of San Francisco madams and their relationship with the city as it grew over the years. As this was written way way before the internet, Curt Gentry had to do good old fashioned real research and dig into newspaper archives, interview people, and read through scores of histories of the area in search of tidbits about the women he was covering. As you might think, much of the blue history of San Francisco is undocumented, because good people just didn’t talk about things like that. Of course, surviving scandal papers and full page ads by various madams will testify that the “good people” are once again a giant pack of liars. Go wet your pants, good people!

Presenting both quick overviews and more detailed biographies of various madams, we get history lessons about the city as we go. Gentry gives us the actual addresses of the various houses of ill repute he talks about, though sadly many of the buildings were either destroyed by the earthquake or later torn down and turned into apartment complexes. As someone who lives in the city, I could easily whip up a walking tour of former prostitution houses, and it would be hilarious to see what businesses or houses now dwell on those fabled addresses.

Beginning with Irene McCready in 1849, we follow up with Ah Toy, the first Chinese prostitute in the city (and one of the two women tied for first Chinese woman in the city, the other being a non-professional maid who as far as everyone knows spent zero time with Ah Toy.) For years, Ah Toy and the other woman were the only Chinese women in the city, which had hundreds of male Chinese workers. Eventually, several more prostitutes were brought over, but it was a while before more non-prostitute women from China reached San Francisco. Ah Toy was immensely popular, and there are many court records and newspaper stories discussion her various run-ins.

Several chapters are spent on Belle Cora involved in shooting and Vigilance Committee drama, a summary of the whole affair can be found here. Other fine upstanding women include one known as Madam Mustache – which no one would call to her face, Jessie Hayman, Tessie Wall, Maude Spencer, Dolly Fine, and Sally Stanford.

There is also an interesting history about the Reverend Paul Smith, who was an anti-prostitution crusader and helped get laws passed that brought down a lot of madams. There was even a huge protest of prostitutes against Reverend Smith. Smith then went into the movie business, making his own film, Finger of Justice, that detailed his fight against prostitution, even recreating the March of the Madams. Reverend Smith’s film was subsequently banned in many cities as being obscene, and Smith became less and less Godly as the power of movie fame-dom became his next obsession. That eventually crashed and burned and he became a car salesman. Interesting side note, one of the prostitutes that marched against him eventually found Jesus herself and became a traveling preacher. It is unknown if the now civilian Paul Smith ever went to one of her shows. A good portion of Finger of Justice still exists, but I haven’t found a copy easily available.

While cities such as Denver and New Orleans had definitive underground activities guidebooks, San Francisco instead had weekly scandal rags where houses would advertise. Papers include:

The Varieties – a four-page scandal rag beginning May 20, 1856 with J. Walter Walsh listed as owner, the editor listed as “The Recluse”, and contributors with wacky names such as Paul Pry, Night Owl, and Viper – all writing in the same style as Mr. Walsh. Hmmmmm… stories were mostly vague rumors with just enough details to scandal people. Items often repeated
was feed lots of info by Belle Cora on Vigilence Committee members. The Illustrated Varieties appeared on Saturday, The Sunday Varieties showed up the next day. Sunday a paper had almost identical content, but was switched around with new photo on the cover. Issues were stapled together so you didn’t get the scam until after you bought it.

The Phoenix – published out of Sacramento but SF focused, Belle Cora also feed info here, including some that brought down The Bulletin and editor Tom King (brother of James King of William) by using the name of King’s abandoned ex-wife to shame him out of town

There is plenty more information, such as the former Madam who ran for city council in Sausalito, and information on how girls were brought to SF to begin life as prostitutes (some were volunteers, but others were basically human trafficked in with scams almost identical to ones used to get Eastern European girls to Japan in the 1990s, as documented in Tokyo Vice)

An enjoyable read, and the kind of information you just don’t find in history books.

Fighting Femmes, Fiends, and Fanatics Episode 9: Temptress of a Thousand Faces

For the few of you who don’t read both my and Todd’s stuff (and the many of you who are arrived via such search terms as “sexiest mustache” and don’t read either of us), there is another episode of Fighting Femmes, Fiends, and Fanatics up, this time Todd goes over the Shaw Brothers masterpiece Temptress of a Thousand Faces. I counted, and there are like only 997 faces! I’m tempted to ask for a refund…

Yes, “sexiest mustache” is an actual search term I get far too often, and I’ll probably rank even higher on it now. Sigh…

Books I Done Been Reading!

Many of you know (okay, maybe three of you know) that I’m a voracious reader. I consume many books a week, several of which I read! In fact, you’re likely to find me and the wife hangin’ at the local Boarders or Barnes and Nobles reading, at least when I’m not headed home from the library with a stack of books that I’ll get finished with well before the due date. So I might as well start listing what I read along with some Amazon.com links so I can get the referral money….I mean, recommend books to you people! Or tell you to avoid at all costs.

Tokyo Vice: An American Reporter on the Police Beat in Japan by Jake Adelstein – Tokyo Vice is a neat book about an actual gaijin reporter for the biggest Tokyo paper, the Yomiuri Shinbun. He works his way through the entrance exams, begins his journalistic career, is eventually put on the crime beat, meets some creepy Yakuza members as well as women in the sex industry, and then uncovers some big scandals involving Yakuza bosses being smuggled into the US for organ transplant surgery. Along the way we get plenty of interesting information about Japanese culture you aren’t going to find in most travel guides. Adelstein eventually makes enemies of the Yakuza family he is investigating along with getting more involved in investigating the large amount of human trafficking (mostly for sex slaves) happening in Japan. Interesting, brutally honest, sometime depressing, but very highly recommended.

Ice Guard by Steve Lyons – Yes, I enjoy reading about the Warhammer 40K universe. No, I don’t play the game. I just like reading books about universes, I regularly read all sorts of “Guides to ” whatever books. The backstories for the Warhammer universes are fascinating and to me far more interesting than actually playing the game. In fact, I love reading a stack of those ubernerdish character profile books for all sorts of scifi series and all sorts of Monster Manuals and things like that. It’s just what I do!

In the far future of the Warhammer 40K mankind is spread across the stars and there is much violence because the universe is messed up. We got space orks, Eldars, chaos monsters, daemons, invading races, psychics, space marines, and violence violence violence. In Ice Guard, a group of the Emperor’s troops are sent on a mission to rescue and important man on a planet about to be destroyed so Chaos can’t take it. Will they rescue the guy? Will you see the ending coming? How many characters are gonna bit the big one?

Fantasies of a Bollywood Love Thief: Inside the World of Indian Moviemaking by Stephen Alter
Atler’s book about Indian film is a great read that not only introduces you to the basics of Indian cinema but also throws enough references around in the background that those familiar with Bollywood will smile. We follow along during the making of the Indian version of Othello, Omkara, and along the way get plenty of side stories and personal anecdotes that show filmmaking in Indian is both similar and very different from America.

My Year of Flops: The A.V. Club Presents One Man’s Journey Deep into the Heart of Cinematic Failure by Nathan Rabin
Nathan Rabin at the Onion AV Club started what was originally going to be a shorter feature and instead became a cinematic journey through the depths of mediocre to awful films. And you can read most of the reviews online, so why get the book? Well, what if the power goes out? Plus, there is some interviews and stuff, and a few new reviews. Also, your power might go out. The important lesson is that some failures are actually successes, and some failures go beyond the realm of normal failure into a magic land of epic fame. Both of those are preferable to the normal, boring failure. And My Year of Flops is anything but.

Toms, Coons, Mulattoes, Mammies, and Bucks: An Interpretive History of Blacks in American Films – Donald Bogle
An exhaustive book chronicling the history of African Americans in film, from the early silent picture days, to Birth of a Nation, to talkies, to black cast films, to Stepin Fetchit, to Sidney Poitier, Spike Lee, and Denzel. Bogle’s work is more scholarly than many random cinema books, but is not hard to follow and was rather enjoyable.

Title shamelessly stolen from (NSFW) Vault of Buncheness

Adventures in Texas and beyond!

As many of you know (okay, like 3 of you), I recently took a road trip to Tyler, Texas for my sister’s wedding. As I currently live in the Bay Area in good ol’ California, this is quite a drive. Why did I do it? Because, amazing as it seems, it still saved us money over flying down there and renting a car.

The road trip was also a chance to go to some states I hadn’t had the time to get to yet, Arizona and New Mexico. And there were a few sites along the way that turned out interesting, though most I saw just on the way back due to being less pressed for time. We took Interstate 40 for most of the trip, along what was once the old Route 66 route. The last town in California along that way is Needles, home of Snoopy’s brother Spike. I did not see him in town, but kept an eye out for him. We stayed at the Needles Inn on the way out, a nice cheap place run by a nice lady that unfortunately has some of the thinnest walls. It was cheap, clean, and I can sleep through that, though my wife is the type that will wake up if you are breathing too hard.

One thing you will notice about Arizona and New Mexico is that it is very pretty. Then, after around 1/2 hour, you will get bored. Very bored. Especially Arizona, which despite having a few national forests was largely scrubland desert. New Mexico shook things up a bit with a few rock formations that were cool. We stayed at the most awesome Travelodge ever created in Santa Rosa, NM. Everything there was brand new but it still had the cheap Travelodge price.

As for Texas, let’s just say the thing about everything being bigger in Texas isn’t true. Everything in Texas is pretty much just like everywhere else. Sure, they got Whataburger, but we got In-N-Out. But all your favorite chain stores are in every city, a feature that has turned most of America into a giant clone stamping of city layouts. McDonalds, RiteAids, Walgreens, Targets, Wal-Marts, Budget Inns, Motel 6s, KFCs, everywhere and everywhere. Even the specialty boot store we went to in Tyler was part of a large chain that stretched into most of the Southwest.

One thing that is bigger in Texas is the traffic jams, specifically in Dallas, which was also undergoing repair work on the roads we were driving through. Downtown Dallas does have lots of giant ramps that are like a maze of intersections, which is sort of neat provided you aren’t lost and ramping to God knows where.

Tyler was pretty nice, it had the mid-sized city feel that reminds me of my home in Illinois. In fact, were there snow on the ground, much of it would have been indistinguishable from Illinois. My only regret is not having enough free time to see a movie at their still operational drive-in theater.

Culturally, Texas was pretty much just like everywhere, though with a lot of people driving giant trucks. Most of who live in the city and their truck was spotless, so it sure wasn’t for work. I guess when gas is considerably cheaper mpg is less of an issue. Most Texans are nice, but Tyler is pretty white, and I think we counted three Asian people seen in our time there. My wife is Chinese, so there were a few stares, some are probably just curious, but it was uncomfortable enough to notice. We also had experiences such as a store clerk who chatted away with everyone except us in her line, which was odd. Again, those incidents were more exceptions than the rule.

The hotel we were at was nice, and had the best breakfast bar of any of the places we stayed. It also had a waffle maker machine, something that is more common than you would think in hotels. You get a cup full of waffle batter from a dispenser, then put it in the waffle machine and flip it over. Then wait for the timer, and you waffle is done! Easy as pie. Or waffles! Most places had “continental” breakfasts, but those continents were more like uncharted desert isles. At one place, my breakfast was a Honey Bun and some coffee! I was so excited when a Motel 6 had cereal…

We left Texas the day after Christmas (Boxing Day for those of you who worship Box Jesus) and headed back plus one Mom in the backseat. Without a wedding to get to, we could spend more time looking around. Our first overnight on the way back was Amarillo, and we ate at the famous Amarillo Steakhouse, home of the famous 72 ounce steak challenge. Despite Amarillo being somewhat large, the Amarillo Steakhouse seemed to be the only place in town anyone was at. It took over an hour of waiting to get a seat, which I don’t have that much of a problem with as I’ve been to busy places before. There was a gift shop, a shooting gallery game, and…that’s about it.

But we finally get a table and…the waitress doesn’t seem to know a thing about the menu. It’s not like the menu is huge, it’s really simple. But she didn’t seem to believe that they served shakes. She then went all Houdini on us and we waited almost another hour for our food. In the meantime, we examined the decorations on the walls around us. More deer heads than deerheads.com! Also some elk, bighorn sheep, moose, and other animals. Our seat was a prime location had someone actually been doing the 72 ounce steak challenge, but no one was so it was just an empty stage. The guys wandering around playing music by tables didn’t seem to want to come near us, either, despite the almost an hour it took for our food to arrive. Most of the food finally did (we are still waiting for our bread!), but we had to demand some of the sides and the steaks were cooked wrong, but not wrong enough to send it back (I usually don’t send steak back anyway because of all the horror stories.) The steak…..wasn’t very good. We had better steak in Tyler, and even better steak in downtown SF (for less than half the price, I might add) so the evening ended up being pretty disappointing.

One cool thing about parts of Texas for those of you not from the area is where cotton is grown, there will be cotton debris by the side of the road for miles and miles. Hey, I think it’s cool, and therefore it is.

We got out of Texas and made it to Albuquerque, the town you can never spell the name of and Weird Al made that long long long long long long long long long long long long song about. Downtown Albuquerque is pretty happening, we ate at a cool pizza joint then headed over to their zoo for their River of Lights or whatever. That was pretty neat, with dozens and dozens of light up decorations, many animated, scattered throughout much of the zoo. Parts of the children’s zoo by itself is pretty neat, with a giant castle and dragon theme. Why dragon statues are in the zoo, um…yeah. But the light up stuff was great, including this neat guy:
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Arizona don’t have much to brag about except some parks which we skipped due to how out of the way they were, and can you believe how much going on that glass thing that’s over the Grand Canyon costs? It’s crazy, let me tell you. So forget that, let’s just stay on I-40 and go by dozens of Indian art dealer places, each one you know is coming up because there are like 50 billboards. One good thing about the SouthWest shops we were in was I now know what kachinas are and some of them are pretty awesome.

We did stop at one place – Stewarts Petrified Wood Shop!
Because it had GIANT FREAKING DINOSAURS!!!!! WOOOOOoooOOOO!!!
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Also ostriches….
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Arizona also has Elk Crossing signs, in addition to the deer crossing signs we all know and love. The elk I saw was all far enough away from the road to not concern me, but the several dead elk we saw along the way proved that even elk wander onto the highway to suicide. I can’t even begin to count how many dead things we saw along the side of the road, I even saw my first armadillo in the wild dead on the side of the highway. Coyotes, deer, elk, raccoons, possums, cats, dogs, tires, and birds lined the side of the road wherever we looked.

Back in Cali-land, we overnighted in Bakersfield, home of like 300 motels that were all build in the 50’s and 60’s on the same road and all advertising Color TVs! Most of them look like they weren’t renovated since the 60’s as well, and we ended up in a Travelodge.

In Bakersfield, we also visited the CALM zoo, which only has animals found in California. Including this guy:
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California is also home to Boron, California, complete with 20 Mule Team Road. Yes, this is where Borax was based. They had a neat greasy spoon/Mexican place that was good eating. Driving past Bakersfield is plenty of cool hills and valleys, and even trains that run along side the road and go into lots of tunnels. And we saw a double rainbow, but didn’t go all weepy like that idiot on YouTube.

Finally, we made it back home and I got to spend a week doing touristy stuff with my Mom, who by this time has been out here enough we were running low on new touristy stuff. Though there was the Curious George exhibit at the Jewish Museum. Did you know the Curious George creators H.A. and Margret Rey escaped the Nazis on bicycles then wrote a book about a spotted rabbit that was used to reeducate the Germans on how to not be evil Nazis? It’s true! There was also some girl writing a Torah, but she wasn’t there so we got to see an empty room. Exciting stuff!

So now the adventure is over and it is back to work.

Butter Butter Everywhere, But Not a Drop of Butter

If you’re like me, and I know I am, then you love those fake butter commercials that can’t believe it’s not butter and stuff like that. You also become amused at the local grocer’s generic brand of the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! product, because it probably has a wacky name. So here is a collection of photos of various house-brand not-butter products.

Butter Snot!
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But you’re wrong again…
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Or is it jizz from Willy the Dairy stocker? Buy it and find out!
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Or else!
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Shouldn’t that be a question mark at the end?
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I believe it!
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I better ask that Indian girl who knows about butter…
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That sounds like an order to me!
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This list would be incomplete without this guy!
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My favorite name
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Totally!
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Oh, snap! We just got owned!
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This ISN’T butter. But it is real. And rated X!
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Godzilla vs Japanese Whalers

Godzilla has returned to kick some whaler butt! Actually, Godzilla is the name of a new boat of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, who spar with Japanese whalers in the open ocean. Last year, the Japanese whalers repeatedly rammed one of the Sea Shepherd vessels and it was ruined. Hopefully Godzilla kicks some whaler butt! And you gotta point out the irony of a Japanese monster being used in a campaign against Japanese whaling.


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