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Sharknado 2

Sharknado 2: The Second One trailer!


Because we all need full trailers! You’re either already sold or not going to bother, so only board the hype train if you are cool. Choo-choo!

Sharknado 2: The Second One – Wednesday, July 30 at 9PM – In Sharknado 2: The Second One, the sequel to last summer’s global pop culture sensation, a freak weather system turns its deadly fury on New York City, unleashing a Sharknado on the population and its most cherished iconic sites – and only Fin (Ian Ziering) and April (Tara Reid) can save the Big Apple. The movie, directed by Anthony C. Ferrante from a screenplay by Thunder Levin, also stars Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Vivica A. Fox and Judah Friedlander, with cameo appearances including Kelly Osbourne, Judd Hirsch, Perez Hilton, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Andy Dick, Robert Klein, Sandra “Pepa” Denton, Biz Markie, Downtown Julie Brown, Richard Kind and Kurt Angle, among others. Sharknado 2: The Second One is a production of The Asylum.

Aurora Teagarden Charlaine Harris

Hallmark fires up Charlaine Harris’ Aurora Teagarden series — with Candace Cameron Bure!

DJ Tanner will be solving mysteries in a new series of original movies on the Hallmark Channel. Aurora Teagarden is based on the mystery series by Charlaine Harris, most famous for the Southern Vampire Mystery series that gave birth to the HBO show True Blood.

Aurora Teagarden is not a place, but the name of the main character, Aurora “Roe” Teagarden, who is a librarian and member of the Real Murders Club. The group meets and analyzes famous murder cases until the members start popping up dead, killed in the manner of famous murder cases. Thus everyone is a suspect and a potential victim until the case is solved.

The Aurora Teagarden series consists of 8 books and one short story:

  • Real Murders
  • A Bone to Pick
  • Three Bedrooms, One Corpse
  • The Julius House
  • Dead Over Heels
  • “Deeply Dead” in Murder, They Wrote (short story)
  • A Fool And His Honey
  • Last Scene Alive
  • Poppy Done to Death

Between True Blood, this series, and Harris’ Harper Connelly Mysteries getting a SyFy series, she is becoming a force in genre series inspiration.

Candace Cameron Bure is set to play Roe Teagarden, with Teena Booth writing the adaptation. This is billed as part of the all-new Original Mystery Wheel Franchise, which is three different mystery movie series that tag team airings on a set night. The other two Mystery Wheel film series for 2015 are: Garage Sale Mystery series starring Lori Loughlin (also of Full House, it’s a Full House Mystery Domination!) and The Gourmet Detective starring Dylan Neal.

Hallmark Mystery fans will note that the original Garage Sale Mystery aired in 2013, the subsequent films will carry on the series. The Gourmet Detective is based on the book series by Peter King, and Dylan Neal’s wife Becky Southwell will write the films based on the novels.

The original Mystery Wheel Franchise featured films series including Mystery Woman with Kellie Martin, McBride with John Larroquette, Jane Doe with Lea Thompson, and Murder 101 with Dick Van Dyke

Hallmark is Lifetime’s only real competitor in original programming of this nature, so it’s good to see them stepping up their game a bit. It’s good to see mystery books making their way to television in multiple forms. This will probably open the field up wide and clear if they perform well, maybe even the gimmick mysteries I read with magical cats or talking cats or cats who hang out with their owners in the libraries (99% of the protagonists in mystery books are librarians). Basically, cat based mysteries are the future, and the future should be now! Until then, I guess I’ll settle for Candace Cameron Bure…

via THR

Aurora Teagarden Charlaine Harris

There’s even a cat on this cover! I demand Mystery Cats!!!

Presumed Dead in Paradise Lifetime

With Presumed Dead in Paradise, Lifetime breaks out the conspiracies!

Presumed Dead in Paradise Lifetime

People, read the fine print on your timeshare agreements!


Remember that old Phil Collins song about how it’s another day in paradise? Well, you can’t have another day in paradise if you’re dead! Sure, that has little to do with the song’s actual subject, but I’m making this intro work. Lifetime brings us Presumed Dead in Paradise, which is like the Natalee Holloway case except 1000 times more Lifetime. This time the girl lives, only to find out it was a murder conspiracy by her own family to kill her! Basically, never go to the Caribbean, because you will die.

Madison, a rebellious teenager, has spent most of her life in boarding schools and the only family she has left is her estranged stepmother, Patricia. So when Patricia unexpectedly invites Madison on a birthday trip to St. Isabel (an island Madison used to visit with her father), Madison is shocked but excited! Once on the island Madison meets Blake, a cute local guide who plans a paddle board excursion to a remote part of the island. Out in open water, Madison has a panic attack (or so it appears) and seemingly drowns. Miraculously, Madison survives and manages to make her way back to the resort but is stunned to see Blake and Patricia together! When Madison goes looking for answers, she discovers that this vacation isn’t what it seems, and that she’s in fact embroiled in a dark conspiracy that involves her late father.

Presumed Dead in Paradise stars Malese Jow, Olivia d’Abo, Gavin Houston, Alix Gitter, Luis Omar O’Farrill. It is directed by Mary Lambert, who directed both of the Pet Sematary films and Mega Python vs. Gatoroid! Presumed Dead in Paradise is written by Steven Palmer Peterson (Cop Dog) and Douglas Shaffer (mostly production work).

My prediction is her dead dad ain’t dead. And also that there will be more twists than a whole season of Law & Order: SVU!

Presumed Dead in Paradise airs Saturday, July 12th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Zapped Disney Zendaya

Zapped (Review)

Zapped

Zapped Disney Zendaya
2014
Teleplay by Billy Eddy, Matt Eddy, and Rachelle Skoretz
Televison story by Rachelle Skoretz
Based on the novel Boys Are Dogs by Leslie Margolis
Directed by Peter DeLuise

Zapped Disney Zendaya

Disney’s Carrie!


Disney Channel blasts out another original movie with Zapped, wherein a teenage girl discovers her cell phone has the power to control boys. Chaos ensues as things go inevitably wrong, and soon young Zoey Stevens (Zendaya) learns a valuable lesson about family and not mind controlling vast amounts of people.

Overall, the characters are charming and well cast. Zendaya seems far more comfortable reacting to all the weird things going on around her than participating in them herself. She spends so much of her interaction with gross boy antics stretching out her muscles making disgusted faces, it starts to become hilarious. You can tell she’s just having fun as everyone acts crazy all around her. Chenelle Peloso is one of those perfect talky best friend characters who wears a hat that’s in almost every teen movie (yet I’ve never seen one in the wild). Spencer Boldman is far too cool for school, someone who already learned everything, so spends his day playing the faux rebel. Special performance bonus go to Emilia McCarthy as the villainess Taylor Dean, who just hates that darn Zoey Stevens for stealing her man and her dance reputation and basically everything. McCarthy spends the whole film chewing the scenery being fun to hate and it’s awesome. She’s joined by sidekick Yuki (Louriza Tronco), Taylor’s toady who thinks she’s her BFF, and Taylor constantly slams her for saying ridiculous things (sometimes deservedly, sometimes not!)

Zapped Disney Zendaya

Yes, we were hanging out in this bathroom for hours waiting for you to come in!


Young Zoey Stevens (Zendaya) grew up with it just being her and her mom for so long that she barely remembers anything different (the reference to her father is he once gave her a castle music box, it’s implied he passed on). She lives most of her life on her cell phone, using apps for everything. We open with her mother’s wedding to her new husband, Ted Thompson, who comes complete with three rowdy boys and a dog (Adam, Zach, Ben, and the dog Humphrey). Things hit a full Brady Bunch as the boys repeatedly cause huge messes, starting with splattering Zoey while she’s giving her maid of honor speech.
Zapped Disney Zendaya

They Live the App!


Things don’t get better at her new school, as the boys there are all pre-divided up into cliques: the gamers, the skateboarders, the stinky guys, the shirtless muscleheads. Special consideration given to a guy known as The Tripp (Jedidiah Goodacre), who refers to himself in the third person in between farting on people. The only people not insane is her new BFF for life, Rachel Todds (Chenelle Peloso), and the single non-disgusting boy in the school, with the neo-leftist name Jackson Kale (Spencer Boldman). Think James Dean crossed with Edward the vampire, with Jackson Kale wearing his sunglasses inside, in the dark while watching a film strip. Of course he’s the love interest, calling Zoey “Smart Phone” as he quickly picks up on her habit.
Zapped Disney Zendaya

This movie has gone to the dogs! Ha! I kill me! No, wait, don’t kill me! It was just an expression. I stole it from ALF! No, please, NOOOOOOOOOOO*– **BLAM BLAM BLAM**

Delorean at Castro

Back to the Future trilogy screening with Midnites for Maniacs trip report!

Delorean at Castro

The DeLorean parked outside the Castro Theater


Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Minites for Maniacs showing of the Back to the Future trilogy. All three films screened together for what I am told is the first time in the US since the original runs. How can you pass up seeing all three films in the classic Castro Theater for only $12? Obviously, you can’t!

The films have long gone on to classic status, creating what is one of the tightest trilogies while inspiring a whole generation of film fans. I grew up watching the original, taped off of cable, and remember how exciting it was when the sequels were announced and were going to film back to back and then release back to back. That was revolutionary for the time.

Watching all three films in a row helps emphasize how much the films play off each other. It’s not only a connection made from turning a single film into a trilogy (as the original was originally stand alone), but the repeating of scenes and tropes both within and between the various films. The Marty waking up scenes talking to his mom, the manure scenes, the Tannens telling the McFlys not to be in various places.

Not only does Back to the Future steal from itself, but it also steals from a whole history of Hollywood cinema. From the obvious A Fistful of Dollars to Marty McFly Jr. quoting Midnight Cowboy to the classic Western actors appearing in the saloon in BTTF 3.

Even the discarded original ending involving an atomic bomb and the time machine (which was at that time a refrigerator) ended up being recycled into the beginning of the fourth Indiana Jones film, minus the whole time travel angle (unless you count him getting really old as being time travel!)

The films looked amazing, high quality digital prints screened with classic trailers on good old 35mm film. Joining the screening was not just a DeLorean parked outside, but actor Jeffrey Weissman, who played George McFly after Crispen Glover has his disagreements with the producers about the sequels. Weissman told about how he was hired, originally as a photo double, unaware of what the real job was. He was a cool guy and knew how to talk to an audience. There is going to be a whole slate of things planned for the 30th Anniversary, including a themed cruise!

At this point we are 29 years on from the original, just one year shy of the future of 2015. While we may not have flying cars, Mr. Fusion, 19 Jaws films, or hover boards, we do have the enduring knowledge that the future is what we make of it, and if we put our minds to it, anything’s possible.

Thanks to Midnites for Maniacs/Jesse Hawthorne Ficks for setting up the screening!

Jeffrey Weissman Jesse Hawthorne Ficks

An incredibly blurry photo of Jeffrey Weissman and Jesse Hawthrone Ficks

Species the Awakening Species 4

Species: The Awakening (Review)

Species: The Awakening

aka Species 4
Species the Awakening Species 4
2007
Written by Ben Ripley
Based on characters created by Dennis Feldman
Directed by Nick Lyon

Species the Awakening Species 4
The Species franchise transitioned from femme fueled Freudian nightmare to direct to video science fiction dreck so quickly that by installment number four materialized – Species: The Awakening – I had long ago put it on my lower priorities list. There, Species 4 sat, until one day I restumbled across it and decided to try it out. After all, I will get an answer to what 1902 is! (That’s the number that the camera panned to ominously at the conclusion of Species III, thus it must mean something!)
Species the Awakening Species 4
Species: The Awakening continues the premise of the prior installment in stating that there are already members of the alien Species living amongst us in hiding. While in Species 3 they were all surviving offspring of Eve or the astronaut guy from Species 2, here they were created in a lab in Mexico that does the same research that created the original alien creature in the first film. Except now in a much more safe form, in that they only kill a lot of people instead of every person.
Species the Awakening Species 4
Our lead Miranda Hollander (Helena Mattsson) is one just creation of this group, a young woman who doesn’t even know she’s the product of alien DNA technology, living a quiet life as a blooming academic with a bright future ahead of her. She’s raised by her uncle Tom (Ben Cross), who unbeknownst to her but beknownst to us, helped create her before abandoning the research because of moral quandaries. But once she gets sick and begins reverting back to Species form and goes on a killing spree, he now needs to reconnect with his former partner in order to save her life.
Species the Awakening Species 4