• Home
  • Author: Tars Tarkas
Signed, Sealed, Delivered For Christmas hallmark movies mysteries

Signed, Sealed, Delivered goes Christmas for Hallmark Movies & Mysteries!

Hallmark Movies & Mysteries is breaking out a Christmas Edition of one of their popular mystery series with Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Christmas! The Signed, Sealed, Delivered team began with a 2013 film about postal detectives who deliver packages and letters from the past when they are needed most. The film proved popular enough that a series was commissioned, and now that series is get its own Christmas special movie! Where is your Christmas movie, Big Bang Theory? I thought so… Not only is there this Christmas flick, but three more Signed, Sealed, Delivered films have been greenlighted for 2015, meaning the series will be living on as special movie events instead of a regular series. Some people don’t seem too thrilled about that, but as Hallmark Movies & Mysteries looks to be making their bread and butter mystery movie series featuring regular casts, this isn’t surprising.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Christmas is part of Hallmark Movies & Mysteries The Most Wonderful Movies of Christmas special event, which features two new original movies and a bunch of classic Christmas films.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Christmas stars series regulars Eric Mabius as Oliver O’Toole, Kristin Booth as Shane McIrnerney, Crystal Lowe as Rita Haywith, Geoff Gustafson as Norman Dorman, with guest stars Rob Estes and Marion Ross.

With a duty to deliver every last letter before Christmas, the beloved quartet of post office detectives—Oliver, Shane, Rita and Norman—are working around the clock to redirect Santa’s mail just as Oliver runs into his former Sunday school teacher. When they receive an emotional last-minute plea not meant for Saint Nick, but instead written to God, they must delay their own travel plans to make sure one little girl doesn’t lose her Christmas joy. With a little guidance from a mysterious post office volunteer, Jordan, the Postables are more surprised than anyone to discover they’ve been a part of more than one miracle on this Christmas Eve.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Christmas is directed by Kevin Fair(Lucky in Love, some episodes of the series). The story was written by Kerry Lenhart, John J. Sakmar, and Brandi Harkonen with a teleplay by Martha Williamson.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Christmas premieres Sunday, November 23, on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered For Christmas hallmark movies mysteries

Wally Lamb Wishin Hopin Lifetime

Prepare to drop letters from words with Wally Lamb’s Wishin’ and Hopin’ on Lifetime Channel!

Wally Lamb Wishin Hopin Lifetime

Breakfast Club: The Next Generation!


I will admit not being too familiar with Wally Lamb, and nor do I appear to be his target audience, but for those of you who can’t get enough of the Lamb, Lifetime is bringing one of his books to life. Wally Lamb’s Wishin’ and Hopin’ will be part of Lifetime’s power pack of Christmas flicks, and it features narration by Chevy Chase. I’d make a Christmas Vacation joke, except I already made a Breakfast Club joke about Molly Ringwald, and there would be too many cute joke references for one small news article to handle. Which means they’d have ot fight to the death, and then I’d have to clean up the mess. No thank you.

Wally Lamb’s Wishin’ and Hopin’ harkens back to the days of yore, when kids knew who Annette Funicello was and didn’t know who Meat Loaf was. Okay, they probably still don’t know who Meat Loaf is, but he’s in the movie as well. Watch Fight Club, kids!

Based on the New York Times best-selling Christmas novel by Wally Lamb comes the new Christmas classic, starring Molly Ringwald and featuring narration by Chevy Chase as the narrator. Set in 1960s, Wishin’ and Hopin’ story of 10-year-old Felix Funicello (Wyatt Ralff, The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby), doing his best to navigate fifth grade at St. Aloysius Gonzaga Parochial School. His father (Danny Nucci, The Fosters) runs the local diner, and their family’s claim to fame is their cousin Annette Funicello (Krysta Rodriguez, Smash), the famous teen star and Mouseketeer. With the dreaded Christmas pageant on the horizon, the holiday season gets even more exciting with the sudden arrivals of a substitute teacher (Ringwald) and the feisty Russian student Zhenya, promising to be one Christmas Felix will never forget. Also stars Meat Loaf (Fight Club), Annabella Sciorra (CSI), Cheri Oteri (Saturday Night Live) and Conchata Ferrell (Two and a Half Men) and Camila Banus (Days of Our Lives).

The film is directed by Colin Theys, and written by John Doolan (based on Wally Lamb’s original story). Both the writer and director worked on Alien Opponent and Banshee!!!, but sadly I don’t think monsters and aliens are going to stop on by, unless my theory that Annette Funicello is a Reptillian is proven by Wishin’ and Hopin’. After all, something happened to those missing G’s, it probably was aliens!

Wally Lamb’s Wishin’ and Hopin’ premieres Saturday, December 6, on Lifetime!

Photo by Pietro Camardella provided via Lifetime/A&E Media

Seasons of Love Lifetime Taraji P. Henson Gladys Knight

It’s the reason for the Seasons of Love on Lifetime!

Seasons of Love Lifetime Taraji P. Henson Gladys Knight

I think we’re gonna need a bit more alcohol if we have to sit through all of An En Vogue Christmas!


Lifetime has what looks to be a nice relationship tale for the holidays with Seasons of Love. It also looks to be another example of Lifetime putting out some quality diverse films. And it looks to have nothing to do with the song from the Rent soundtrack!

Kyla (LeToya Luckett, Single Ladies) and Amir’s (Cleo Anthony, Divergent) new romance is thrown for a loop when Amir’s father (Richard Portnow) suddenly passes away and Kyla’s ex, Miles (Rob Riley, Hit the Floor), comes back into the picture. The two struggle to determine what truly matters to them in this story of life, love and family. Taraji P. Henson stars and executive produces, while Gladys Knight and Cliff “Method Man” Smith also star.

Seasons of Love stars Taraji P. Henson, Gladys Knight, Method Man, LeToya Luckett, Cleo Anthony, Richard Portnow, Rob Riley, and Elizabeth Ho.

The film is directed by Princess Monique. This is her first feature besides the 2002 short The Call, which she also cowrote along with the two credited writers for Seasons of Love – Sharon Brathwaite-Sanders and Peres Owino. It is a new batch of creatives looking to make their mark.

It’s still too early for the trailers to pop up, but Seasons of Love premieres Sunday, November 23, on Lifetime!

via A&E and Lifetime
Photo by Courtesy of Lifetime/A&E Press

A Cookie Cutter Christmas Hallmark

Warm up your ovens for A Cookie Cutter Christmas on Hallmark Channel!


As we all know, the real spirit of Christmas is beating the crap out of your rivals to prove you are the best at everything! On that note, A Cookie Cutter Christmas comes out ovens blazing, as it’s the tale of two arch rivals that have been at each others throats since they were little kids. Now that they are both adult teachers at a school, it is only natural that they argue about baking and attracting the latest single dad in their small town. I guess A Cookie Cutter Christmas takes place in that same small town that Kindergarten Cop does, where there are no single men until one moves into town and all the ladies line up. Christie Reynolds (Erin Krakow, Army Wives) is the lady who usually loses the competitions to Miss Perfect, aka Penny Miller (Miranda Frigon, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: The TV Show ), but Christmas is the time for miracles. Throw in some Christmas decoration competitions, baking competitions, man-getting competitions, and A Cookie Cutter Christmas becomes the ultimate competition of wills. Or at least two women. Keep an eye out for Alan Thicke, who is collected a paycheck as a famous chef and choking on bad cookies.

A Cookie Cutter Christmas is part of the 12 New Movies of Christmas, in Hallmark Channel’s Countdown to Christmas celebration.

Christie Reynolds (Krakow) and Penny Miller (Frigon) have been archrivals ever since a memorable fight over a coveted Christmas recital solo in elementary school. Now adults, they work side-by-side at the same school where they still constantly compete over everything. As the holiday season approaches, the entire school is getting into the spirit with the annual fundraising festival, which will feature an exciting new event—a teacher Christmas Cookie Bake- Off, judged by a tough five-star chef, Chef Krueger (Thicke). Penny and Christie immediately clash over the contest, both wanting to beat the other to win the grand prize, a free class trip. Christie, however, is hopeless in the kitchen, despite help from her mom, Bev (Laura Soltis, “Hiccups”). She doesn’t think she has a chance—until she meets James, a new student’s handsome and sweet single dad. In addition to running a charitable shelter, James is also an excellent cook. As both Christie and Penny vie for James’s attention in yet another aggressive battle, Christie starts to tutor his precious, kindhearted daughter Lily (Genae Charpentier, “Girl Vs. Monster”) and gets to know James outside of school. As their relationship starts to deepen, and James’ baking expertise guides Christie’s cookie creations, Christie’s competitive edge starts to soften. But at the final bake-off challenge, James is finally caught in the middle of Christie and Penny’s petty feud, and Christie comes to realize life’s most rewarding prizes don’t come with a trophy.

A Cookie Cutter Christmas is directed by Christie Will (Baby Bootcamp) and written by Barbara Kymlicka (Death Clique). It stars Erin Krakow, Miranda Frigon, Alan Thicke, David Haydn-Jones, Laura Soltis (Wedding Planner Mystery), and Genae Marie Charpentier (Girl vs. Monster)

A Cookie Cutter Christmas premieres November 9 on Hallmark Channel!

Nine Lives of Christmas Hallmark

Explore The Nine Lives of Christmas on Hallmark Channel!

Nine Lives of Christmas Hallmark

Man of Steal-ing your heart!


When you think of Christmas, you think of cats and firefighters and television movies that resemble the Garfield Movie. Thus, Hallmark delivers again with The Nine Lives of Christmas! Yes, a hunky firefighter adopts an orange cat and begins a love affair with a vet, even though neither of them will be dating for most of the duration of the film. Sadly, the cat does not appear to talk or do humorous things like hate Mondays or eat lasagna, but the firefighter is Superman – Brandon Routh!

Besides Brandon Routh as cat-adopting firefighter Zachary Stone, The Nine Lives of Christmas stars Kimberley Sustad (Super Buddies) as Marilee White, Stephanie Bennett (Leprechaun: Origins) as Jaclyn, Chelsea Hobbs as Blair, Sean Tyson as Rey, Dalias Blake as Mark, and Gregory Harrison as Sam.

The Nine Lives of Christmas is directed by Mark Jean (Finding Mrs. Claus), and is written by Nancey Silvers (who wrote two films with amazing titles –> Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy and Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade!)

Fireman Zachary Stone (Routh) is a confirmed bachelor who doesn’t believe in love or commitment. When a stray, tabby cat named Ambrose shows up at his door, Zachary takes him in and slowly starts to see that a little companionship might not be so bad after all. Zachary’s commitment to solitude is further challenged when he meets Marilee (Sustad), an animal lover and veterinary student who teaches Zachary how to care for his new feline roommate. Chemistry immediately develops between the two, but Marilee has vowed not to date until she graduates and Zachary is not ready to jeopardize his independence, though he senses Marilee is special.

With Christmas rapidly approaching, Marilee’s sister Jaclyn (Bennett) convinces her to add romance to her nose-to-the-grindstone life of work and school, while fire chief Sam (Harrison) encourages Zachary to understand the importance of love, marriage and having someone special with whom to share the holidays. When Zachary’s model girlfriend Blair (Hobbs) pressures him to get rid of Ambrose and has Marilee fired from her job at a pet supply store that her father owns, Zachary sees the light, realizing he is in love with Marilee and that life is better if shared with someone special.

The Nine Lives of Christmas is an entry in The 12 New Movies of Christmas, part of Hallmark Channel’s Countdown to Christmas. It premieres November 8th on Hallmark Channel! Weirdly enough, this is the Hallmark Channel movie that I am the most excited about. So bring it on!

Nine Lives of Christmas Hallmark

Remember: Don’t set your presents on fire, kids!

Nine Lives of Christmas Hallmark

I have to get this cat lasagna, or Christmas is ruined!!!

Photos by David Owen Strongman and Katie Yu via Hallmark Press

Go Where I Send Thee Sleepy Hollow

Sleepy Hollow S02E04 – “Go Where I Send Thee…”

Go Where I Send Thee Sleepy Hollow

Yes, Ichabod, contaminate the bone evidence of murder with your DNA!


Sleepy HollowGo Where I Send Thee…
Written by Damian Kindler
Directed by Doug Aarniokoski
Go Where I Send Thee Sleepy Hollow

Frank Irving is trapped in a generic movie poster!


If there is one thing Sleepy Hollow is good for, it’s providing completely crazy monster scenarios. This weeks episode, “Go Where I Send Thee…”, is a prime example, thanks to a demonic Pied Piper who dates back to the Revolutionary War. How often do you see demonic Pied Pipers on your television screen? And yet, Sleepy Hollow does so brazenly, and it fits right in with their on-going mythos, to the point where no one is batting an eye!

The Pied Piper is the monster of the week, and he’s kidnapping a young girl as part of a family curse that has been happening for generations. Like all the prior family curses on Sleepy Hollow, it all dates back to the Revolutionary War period. Fake Revolutionary Daniel Forbes Lancaster (who Ichabod explains joined the rebellion only after it was apparent the Colonials would win) had a British detachment of troops staying in his house, which got a little too grabby with his daughters. So he hired a local demonic Pied Piper assassin to kill them. I guess back in the 1700s, you could just hire demonic fairy tale assassins with relative ease. In any event, after the Pied Piper slayed all the troops (in super fast cool knife fighting moves!), Daniel Lancaster has the demonic Pied Piper shot with arrows and dumped in a lake. This betrayal doesn’t end well, because demonic powered assassins tend to not stay dead, and he returns every generation to abduct a female member of the Lancaster family on her 10th birthday.

First of all, why would you betray a demon-powered assassin? That’s just looking for trouble. Secondly, why would you betray one with a Pied Piper theme, since the town’s betrayal of the Pied Piper in the original tale ended badly? It’s like he’s too stupid and arrogant to learn the morals of these fairy tales. And the Lancaster family now has trouble for generations. Good going, moron!

Go Where I Send Thee Sleepy Hollow

Look, there are a thousand variations of “Abbie gives Ichabod a bone” jokes I could make, or I could go so meta I’m beyond the joke while still making it. I choose the latter!