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Killers on Parade 夕陽に赤い俺の顔

Killers on Parade (Review)

Killers on Parade

aka 夕陽に赤い俺の顔 aka Yuhi Ni Akai Ore No Kao aka My Face Red in the Sunset
Killers on Parade 夕陽に赤い俺の顔
1961
Written by Shuji Terayama
Directed by Masahiro Shinoda

Killers on Parade 夕陽に赤い俺の顔
Killers on Parade is a dark comedic flick that features a group of gimmicked hitmen and women as eventual adversaries to our plucky hero, who is on a mission to bring down a corrupt construction firm and the newspaper editor that is attempting to blackmail it. The plot is less important than the colorful characters that are part of the Downtown Killer Club. Killers on Parade is set in a garish comic book world filled with colors and items that bother to label themselves so you know what they are. The villains have gimmicks and costumes that leave you with no doubt as to their gimmicks and roles, and scenes are shot to play up common film locations. While things are overtly goofy, there is enough danger seeded to try to raise actual stakes, but this factor doesn’t seem to have aged well enough to make it to modern day without seeming like a distraction instead of an integrated part of the show.
Killers on Parade 夕陽に赤い俺の顔
The Murderers 8 present as a united front, but are fiercely competitive, though follow a sense of honor when being assigned jobs, preventing others from interfering and disrupting all their down time. Despite all the characters having day jobs, all they seem to do all day is hang out with each other and get into marksmanship competitions. The Murderers 8 include (please excuse the lack of names for some, they just didn’t get their name mentioned out loud!):

  • Hong Kong, a Yakuza gangster stereotype in black suit, who is the most dangerous of the group.
  • Senti, a gun champion.
  • The bespectacled Doctor, who handily always carries around a black bag that says “Doctor” on it in English.
  • Sergeant, a former soldier.
  • An Older Guy who appears to dress as a shrubbery cutter.
  • A Sports Guy who wears jerseys and during the final battle, a full football uniform and helmet.
  • Scarf Guy, whose gimmick is he has a scarf (Okay, they didn’t have time to give everyone personalities!)
  • Nagisa (Kayoko Honoo), the lone female killer who often dresses in red and has a pet goat named End. She ran off from home to be a killer, but is starting to grow disillusioned with the lifestyle.

The overall tone is comedic with random bursts of song, providing a send up of the then-recent spate of neonoir/borderless action flicks in Japanese cinema, dosed in wonderful technicolor and layered in sensible silliness. Things seem to make both perfect logical sense in universe, but are also ridiculous when you stop to think about them. The killers demonstrate their marksmanship by shooting at an apple on a kid’s head before the credits. Later they have another shooting competition at the race track to see who gets the new contract.
Killers on Parade 夕陽に赤い俺の顔

Pig Girls Don't Cry The Muppets

The Muppets S01E01 – “Pig Girls Don’t Cry”

Pig Girls Don't Cry The Muppets
The Muppets“Pig Girls Don’t Cry”
written by Bill Prady & Bob Kushell
Directed by Randall Einhorn

I am a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge Muppets fan, so of course this will be the series I’ll be reviewing as it airs from now on, as Sleepy Hollow decided to go on a sophomore slump that cratered deep into the ground, along with my interest in the show. After a successful movie and a less than successful movie, the Muppets return to tv with their new series, The Muppets. It’s done in a pseudo-documentary format in the same vein of The Office, except instead of Jim and Pam (or Tim and Dawn), we got Frog and Pig!
Pig Girls Don't Cry The Muppets
Miss Piggy is hosting a late night talk show (which means as of this show airing, only female late night talk show host is a pig Muppet played by a guy, as Samantha Bee’s show doesn’t premiere for a little while longer!), Fozzie is her sidekick/announcer/insult target, Kermit is the executive producer, Gonzo is the head writer (with Pepe and Rizzo), The Electric Mayhem is the house band, Sam the Eagle is working for ABC’s standards and practices, Scooter is a talent coordinator, Bobo is a stage manager, Swedish Chef does the catering, other Muppets do background work on the show, and Rowlf is supposed to own the bar they all hang out at after work (not show in this episode!)

The show gained a bunch of viral buzz due to the announcement of Miss Piggy and Kermit’s breakup, and Kermit subsequently dating a new pig named Denise. The fallout was hilarious, even if we are totally Team Miss Piggy here at TarsTarkas.NET. The breakup is the worst part of the series, even if I understand that they did it in order to have an actual romantic plot with the main characters. It lead to a huge group of people upset because the Muppets are being given actual romantic plot lines, and the plot lines aren’t the ones that are classically associated with the characters. But as a fan of Kermit and Piggy together, it is sad, and will take some getting used to. (And we all know they will be back together by season 2!)
Pig Girls Don't Cry The Muppets

爆破3秒前 3 Seconds Before Explosion

3 Seconds Before Explosion (Review)

3 Seconds Before Explosion

aka 爆破3秒前 aka Bakuha 3-Byo Mae
爆破3秒前 3 Seconds Before Explosion
1967
Screenplay by Hideichi Nagahara
Based on the novel by Haruhiko Oyabu
Directed by Motomu Ida (as Tan Ida)

爆破3秒前 3 Seconds Before Explosion
3 Seconds Before Explosion uses the basic war treasure plot we’ve seen from flicks such as Black Tight Killers, but dials back the ridiculousness to try to become more James Bond than anything else. Yabuki (Akira Kobayashi) is the secret agent hero who fights to solve the case, which contains a bunch of kidnappings and treasure hunting in between the random action scenes.

At this point Akira Kobayashi was at the height of his popularity, having helmed multiple series for Nikkatsu, even becoming a pop star along the way. When you work through Nikkatsu’s Borderless Action films, you’ll see him just as often as Joe Shishido pops up, sometimes alongside Joe Shishido. While Shishido may have the fake cheeks that somehow made ladies swoon, with his natural good looks and bad boy charm, Kobayashi is much better suited to play a suave secret agent type that would have a numerical code name. When each actor walks into a nightclub scene and stands around smoking, Shishido looks like he’s sizing up the room to beat everyone up while Kobayashi just looks so cool he make everyone else look like rabble.
爆破3秒前 3 Seconds Before Explosion
The comparison to Black Tight Killers bears repeating, because not only is there a war treasure, but people related to those involved in hiding the treasure are kidnapped. This time the villains are part of an international gang lead by a rapist German named Galen (Galen the German??), and the treasure belongs to the made up new nation of Rabaley. This switch from the treasure being ostensibly owned by Japan lowers the stakes, because nobody cares if a fake nation gets a random treasure. In fact, you might cheer for them to not get the treasure, because I hear Rabaleans are a bunch of jerks. Allegedly. Please don’t invade me, mighty Rabaley!
爆破3秒前 3 Seconds Before Explosion

Ungodly Acts Lifetime

Doomsday cults go killer crazy on Lifetime’s Ungodly Acts!

Ungodly Acts Lifetime

Don’t you hate it when doomsday cults go on murder sprees and leave dead bodies all over the local parks and then get all confused when their dates of the rapture pass by with no one ascending to Heaven? Lifetime has heard your anguished cries and is severing up a heavy dose of religious wackery with Ungodly Acts! We got a doomsday cult, a “did they or didn’t they” for if the cult ordered a murder, and flashbacks and different stories of the truth. This looks like some good Lifetime fun!

Inspired by actual events. When Melissa Cooper’s body is found hanging from a swing set, the 27-year-old’s death is initially ruled a suicide. But two weeks later a young man, Adam, comes forward claiming he murdered Melissa on the orders of her husband, Daniel Cooper. Adam says that Daniel is the leader of an end times religious cult and that Daniel controls every aspect of the followers’ lives. Daniel Cooper denies all wrongdoing in his wife’s death, but other members of the “Church of the Blessed Light” claim that the charismatic Daniel indeed has a secret life. Melissa’s case is investigated, exploring what really went on behind closed doors in Daniel and Melissa’s marriage, whether Adam acted on his own accord, if Melissa was killed on the orders of her fanatical, newlywed husband or, if Melissa was murdered at all.

Ungodly Acts stars Megan Park, Brant Daugherty, Morgan Taylor Campbell, Christie Burke, and Ashleigh Gryzko. It’s directed by Carl Bessai, who helmed that unneeded Embrace of the Vampire remake that forgot to have a popular actress as the main character, and written by Paul Ziller (cool flick Sea Beast)

Ungodly Acts premieres Saturday, September 19th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime!

俺にさわると危ないぜ Black Tight Killers

Black Tight Killers (Review)

Black Tight Killers

aka 俺にさわると危ないぜ aka Ore ni Sawaru to Abunaize aka If You Touch Me Danger
俺にさわると危ないぜ Black Tight Killers
1966
Screenplay by Ryuzo Nakanishi and Michio Tsuzuki
Based on the novel by Michio Tsuzuki
Directed by Yasuharu Hasebe

俺にさわると危ないぜ Black Tight Killers
Black Tight Killers is an essential film. In a just universe, it would be a well-known classic instead of a fairly known cult movie. It assaults the senses with a full force blast of 1960s gogo excess from the opening credits, and just puts the pedal to the metal. The awesomeness is of such force that even viewers who shy away from the 1950s and 60s Japanese action cinema will be pulled along. The film is a visual feast, with nearly every scene so full of glorified excess of ocular excitement that your eyes will be in danger of going all ADHD on you.
俺にさわると危ないぜ Black Tight Killers
Black Tight Killers starts with Akira Kobayashi as dashing war photographer Daisuke Honda doing daring deeds during a pitched battle that wouldn’t look out of place in any cheap 1960s Italian war movie that was also shot on a small set. But soon he’s flying back to Japan and we’re blasted by dancing gogo girls in black tights stomping through the opening credits. The film features a gang of fighting femmes (the titular Black Tight Killers) who use their ninja skills on a quest to recover stolen treasure before the villains can. They cross paths with Daisuke Honda, whose recent girlfriend Yuriko Sawanouchi (Chieko Matsubara) is kidnapped due to her family connections to the looted treasure. While the ninja ladies are at first adversarial with Honda and were attempting to kill Yuriko, eventually they become a team to go after the real villains. Honda’s lady killer charms combined with the actual ladies who are killers using ninja seduction skills (the Octopus Pot move traps you know which part of Honda’s body inside you know where of the ninja lass!) means we have plenty of sex to go with violence and music.
俺にさわると危ないぜ Black Tight Killers
Of particular note is a technicolor jazz dream sequence of Daisuke Honda’s, as we follow dream Yuriko as she’s chased through long hallways by stalking menaces while a different-hued black tight killer lady prances in every direction. She frantically bursts through the paper walls of different colored rooms, the ladies chasing her all the while. It’s a literal technicolor fever dream! In the awake world, whenever characters are driving around in vehicles, the projected background is rendered in primary colors, recalling the dream sequence but also forcing focus on the characters in the car just through blasting out any distractions.
俺にさわると危ないぜ Black Tight Killers

The Murder Pact lifetime

The Murder Pact makes a killer deal on Lifetime!

The Murder Pact lifetime

Finally the Eyes Wide Shut/Little Red Riding Hood cinematic universe pays off!

Yes, blackmail a bunch of murderers and don’t expect to get murdered. Great plan, genius! But then the killers begin turning on each other and soon everyone is trying to kill each other. Also there is weird masked ball stuff because I guess rich people still do that somehow. The Murder Pact joins The Cheating Pact in meaning we’re going to have a Pact franchise on Lifetime, and I’m okay with that. Eventually they have to get to a movie called Pact Man, right?

After witnessing the accidental death of their classmate Heidi, a group of friends – four rich socialites – flee the scene, not realizing that Heidi’s roommate Lisa witnessed everything. When Lisa starts to drop hints that she knows about the “accident,” the friends decide they can’t trust her to stay quiet, and plot to kill Lisa before she rats them out, burying her body beneath the floorboards in one of their basements. Before long, though, the guilt and paranoia starts to consume them, and they become convinced that Lisa may actually be alive and looking for revenge.

The Murder Pact stars Alexa Vega, Beau Mirchoff, Renee Olstead, Michael J. Willett, and Sean Patrick Thomas. It’s written by John Doolan and directed by Colin Theys, the team that brought us Wally Lambs’ Wishin’ and Hopin’. This is an interesting followup, which I don’t think will be so Christmasy and sweet. But maybe I’m wrong and The Murder Pact will jingle our bells. Only one way to find out!

The Murder Pact premieres Saturday, September 12th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime!