Junk DNA seems to have every explanation on the planet for what it is for. And they are all wrong. Everyone knows Junk DNA is really spare parts carried in case DNA Vampires from the planet Neptune attack the Earth again. That way, you have spare DNA to keep yourself alive long enough to defeat them yet again. The explosive addition of microRNAs talked about in this article is just the result of one such DNA Vampire attack and the explosive growth in DNA diversity that follows after the vampires’ defeat.

‘Junk DNA’ Can Explain Origin And Complexity Of Vertebrates, Study Suggests

ScienceDaily (Feb. 12, 2008) Dartmouth College researchers and colleagues from the University of Bristol in the U.K. have traced the beginnings of complex life, i.e. vertebrates, to microRNA, sometimes referred to as ‘junk DNA.’ The researchers argue that the evolution of microRNAs, which regulate gene expression, are behind the origin of early vertebrates.

Vertebrates – animals such as humans that possess a backbone – are the most anatomically and genetically complex of all organisms, but explaining how they achieved this complexity has vexed scientists since the conception of evolutionary theory.

The team studied the genomics of primitive living fishes, such as sharks and lampreys, and their spineless relatives, like the sea squirt. By reconstructing the acquisition history of microRNAs shared between human and mice, the researchers determined that the highest rate of microRNA innovation in the vertebrate lineage occurred before the divergence between the living jawless fishes like the lamprey and the jawed fishes like the shark, but after the divergence of vertebrates from their invertebrate chordate relatives, such as the sea squirt.

Alysha Heimberg of Dartmouth College and her colleagues showed that microRNAs, a class of tiny molecules only recently discovered residing within what has usually been considered ‘junk DNA’, are hugely diverse in even the most lowly of vertebrates, but relatively few are found in the genomes of our invertebrate relatives.

She explained: “There was an explosive increase in the number of new microRNAs added to the genome of vertebrates and this is unparalleled in evolutionary history.”

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It seems some jerk scientists have stumbled across my private stash of Swinhoe’s turtles and are now hailing their rediscovery. These are my private stash! I’m saving them for a special experiment, but now I have to deal with some conservation nutjobs who haven’t figures out how to mass clone endangered animals. For shame! If I don’t save the wee turtles, who will?

Almost Extinct Turtle Discovered Living In Wild In Northern Vietnam

ScienceDaily (Apr. 19, 2008) — “Swinhoe’s soft-shell turtle” was thought to be extinct in nature. Cleveland Metroparks Zoo has just announced the discovery of a critically endangered turtle in northern Vietnam that previously was thought to be extinct in the wild. Experts from the Zoo’s Asian Turtle Program confirmed that they have identified the only known living specimen of a Swinhoe’s soft-shell turtle (Rafetus swinhoei) in nature.

After three years of searching lakes and wetlands along the Red River in northern Vietnam, researchers sponsored by Cleveland Metroparks Zoo and the Cleveland Zoological Society, turned their focus to a lake just west of Hanoi, where local residents claimed to have occasionally seen the gigantic soft-shell turtle. Field biologist Nguyen Xuan Thuan, with Education for Nature in Vietnam, found and photographed the turtle as it basked on the lake’s surface, allowing scientists to confirm the animal was the extremely rare Swinhoe’s turtle.

This is an incredibly important discovery because the Swinhoe’s turtle is one of the most critically endangered species of turtle in the world,” said Doug Hendrie, the Vietnam-based coordinator of Cleveland Metroparks Zoo’s Asian Turtle Program. “This species has legendary status among the people of Vietnam, so this is perhaps an opportunity for the legend to live on.”

Drop the lawsuits, please! I totally didn’t knock up that sea dragon guy, using artificial eggs and sperm to make him pregnant. He isn’t breeding an army of sea dragons which I will use to threaten offshore oil rigs in exchange for extortion money. There will not be a herd of giant sea dragons roaming the ocean that will attack shipping lanes for cheap goods, hijack oil tankers, and sink Greenpeace vessels for fun. And any news reports you see to the contrary are all a pack of lies. Trust your Dr. Mobusu!

Endangered sea dragon at Ga. aquarium pregnant

Thu Jun 12, 3:19 PM ET

ATLANTA – A weedy sea dragon at the Georgia Aquarium has something to celebrate this Father’s Day. One of the rare creatures is pregnant for only the third time ever at a U.S. aquarium, aquarium officials said. But don’t look for the expectant mom — dads carry the eggs in this family.

The aquarium’s sea dragon has about 70 fertilized eggs — which look like small red grapes — attached to his tail. He is expected to give birth in early to mid-July, said Kerry Gladish, a biologist at the aquarium.

He was made a unicorn on purpose, for one reason: for kicks! That’s right, what’s better than making freaks of nature? NOTHING! The freakier the better, and this guy is totally freaked up! It rules. Even that new game Spore is all about making freaks of nature. Freaks rule, normals drool. Expect a bunch more unicorns to pop up in the animal kingdom pretty soon, as long as the pregnancies come to term. Nothing burst my bubble faster than spontaneous abortions of my freaks of natures. So many freaks who shall never get to get their freak on. 🙁

Single-horned ‘Unicorn’ deer found in Italy

By MARTA FALCONI, Associated Press Writer Wed Jun 11, 3:06 PM ET

ROME – A deer with a single horn in the center of its head — much like the fabled, mythical unicorn — has been spotted in a nature preserve in Italy, park officials said Wednesday.

“This is fantasy becoming reality,” Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, told The Associated Press. “The unicorn has always been a mythological animal.”

The 1-year-old Roe Deer — nicknamed “Unicorn” — was born in captivity in the research center’s park in the Tuscan town of Prato, near Florence, Tozzi said.

He is believed to have been born with a genetic flaw; his twin has two horns.