Go! Godman: Godman vs. Skeleton Man No.1 and Skeleton Man No.2

aka ゴッドマン対スケルトマンNo.1・スケルトマンNo.2 その1 – その6 aka Goddoman Tai Sukerutoman No.1 – Sukerutoman No.2

Week of January 18 – 24, 1973

Wow, two skeleton men for the price of one! Must have been deal week at the Kaiju Bargain Basement Emporium! Or at least at the popup Spirit Halloween store…

The villains are Skeleton Man No.1 and Skeleton Man No.2, and because we are jerks, we’re calling them the Skeleton Man No.s instead of Skeleton Men. Don’t like it? Too bad! That’s how we roll at TarsTarkas.NET, blazing our own path of referring to obscure kaiju be technically correct but odd-sounding monikers.

The biggest mystery of this episode is who is Skeleton Man No.1 and who is Skeleton Man No.2. It is such a mystery that even the data cards included on the DVD aren’t even too clear about which is which. And thanks to this episode not being on the DVD and thus me getting it through a Chinese stream that has some amazingly low quality video, I can’t definitively identify the individual Skeleton Man No.s in each scene. If I blow the images up big, they just get all blocky, and we aren’t in a Minecraft horror reality, yet. So I’m just arbitrarily assigning the first one to show up as Skeleton Man No.1, and the second as Skeleton Man No.2, and not worrying about which pixelated image I use for which one. This isn’t rocket surgery, this is Godman!

A shortpantsed Kenny is fishing, when suddenly a wild Skeleton Man No. appears and puts him in a choke hold! “GODDOMAN!” the voiceless children cry! So these Skeleton Men No. are actually evil and not just misunderstood, unless they are some sort of defenders of fishes or just overly aggressive enforcers of having a fishing license. But probably just evil. It is a sad state of affairs that I have to judge these monsters before we know if Godman’s righteous justice is actually righteous. We can’t be too careful, Godman has a history of harassing innocents, but he’s probably in the clear here if he’s going to kill (rekill?) this Skeleton Man No..

Godman tosses his exploding disk at the Skeleton Man No. who is still holding the kid(!!), but it doesn’t blow up, it just knocks him away from the kid. The Skeleton Man No. (who we are going to assume is Skeleton Man No.1) has teleporting powers, and he and Godman fight with him occasionally beaming around. The fact the Skeleton Man No.1 is basically a fancy leotard with a skull mask allows for some more acrobatic fighting, so there is a lot more flipping going on than the usual drunk wrestling.

Tsuzuku!

The battle continues in Part 2 as the theme song blares, punctuated occasionally by the unearthly electronic chicken shrieks of Skeleton Man No.1. At one point Skeleton Man No.1 teleports away from the fight to chase after the shortpantsed Kenny again! Some pervs just got sick impulses, I guess. He’d clearly demonstrated that he’s a monster that needs to be taken out.

Skeleton Man No.1 can throw knives, because he does so at Godman, but they miss. It’s hard to aim when you only have sockets for eyes! Then Godman tosses his explosive disk back, but Skeleton Man No.1 catches it and tosses it aside before it blows up. Just then, Skeleton Man No.2 pops up where the disk exploded! The two Skeleton Men No.s give each other a cross-armed salute and then dance around each other celebrating as Godman looks on, confused. I am also confused on the logic of this, but let’s just go with it. because we don’t have any other choice. Godman reassures the kid while the Skeleton Men No.s continue to dance around and make arm motions beckoning Godman to attack them

Tsuzuku

Godman takes them both on, but is sort of confused on the “don’t let one of them grab you while the other beats you” rule of fighting two people at once. Luckily the Skeleton man No.s are dumb and soon are smacking each other because their punches at Godman miss and they accidentally connected on each other, and then they continue to brawl as Godman watches. It’s easy when your opponent do your job for you. Godman then beats them unconscious, but they teleport away.

Tsuzuku

The Skeleton No.s conduct a renewed assault on Godman, as this is only part 4 of six we got to fill it with plenty of scenes of Godman getting beat up before he turns the tide and finally wins. But it gives me time to write that these Skeleton No.s sure have a bone to pick with Godman!

Godman even kicks the Skeleton Men No.s in their junk, and I guess these Skeleton Man No.s are like Wolfman and have nards, because it works. Not that much of nards, because they easily recover and beat up Godman some more and toss him down a hill.

Tsuzuku

Godman breaks out the flail to tenderize up these skeletons. Time to grind the bones. Despite having a powerful weapon and fighting two morons, Godman can’t seal the deal and by the end of the episode they are both beating on him as he lies crumpled on the ground. You only got one more part to not lose to piles of bones, you dink! Remember what a wise man said, “Seize the bone!”

Tsuzuku

Godman prevails, not by doing any smart strategy, but by just fighting back instead of lying their and getting beaten up. And despite dropping his flail and getting beaten up more, he then picks up the flail and wallops the villains. First one Skeleton Man No. explodes into nothing, then the second is beaten and explodes into…a smaller skull with a tiny, child-sized skeleton! What the heck, are the Skeleton Men No.s actually Skeleton Babies No.s???? Did Godman just murder two infants? What in the world??? Godman IS a supervillain!!!! Find out more of his evil deeds at the Godman Splash Page!

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