The Muppets (Review)

The Muppets


2011
Directed by James Bobin
Written by Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller

The Muppets
After a far-too-long absence at the theater (I remember going to see Muppets From Space in a deserted theater like it was yesterday…), the Muppets return to the big screen in a big way. And as you can guess from the mention of seeing Muppets From Space, I’m a huge Muppets fan. Enough that I can rattle off obscure background Muppets and spot errors on the Muppet wiki. But I’m putting the fanboy aside to give a nice objective review. And that review is positive. Not because I liked the film (I did), but because it’s a good film.
The Muppets
The Muppets are more than just puppets, just entertainment for kids. The Muppets are entertainment for all ages, treating the audience of all ages with respect and dignity. They may not have invented that kind of entertainment, but they rode it to a new plateau. Jim Henson was never afraid to tread new ground, always experimenting and improving, wanting to put out quality products that appealed to everyone.
The Muppets
As for the Pixar short before it – most of the jokes seem to be just the concepts of the fast food toy characters rather than actual story. But it is funny and does deal with abandonment issued and support groups. And some of those toys look like they come from neat fake franchises. I should just design fake Happy Meal toys as a hobby…
The Muppets
It’s time to start the music…

Gary (Jason Segel) – Our hero from Smalltown who loves his brother and also the lovely Mary. His attempts to please both of them cannot continue forever.
Mary (Amy Adams) – Gary’s long-suffering girl who has been waiting for him to propose for a decade now.
Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) – Evil oil baron who will buy the Muppet studios and tear it down to get oil. Spends most of the film trying to sabotage the plans to save the studio. And rapping.
Walter (Peter Linz) – Gary’s brother who was born a Muppet. Becomes obsessed with the Muppets and their number one fan. And begins the crusade to reunite them and save their theater from Tex Richman. As fun as Walter is to follow, I’m not sure he has what it takes to be an iconic Muppet. But when there’s a sequel they can probably come up with something cool to do with him.
Kermit (Steve Whitmire) – Our Muppet leader who realizes that the gang has dispersed and must go and get everyone back together to save the day again.
Miss Piggy (Eric Jacobson) – Kermit and Miss Piggy have gone their separate ways, largely due to her gracious forcing of issues vs. Kermit’s low-key attempts to keep everything together. She is now a high-profile fashion editor at Vogue. But true love cannot be defeated, even between a pig and a frog on two different continents.

The Muppets

Beavis Butthead Tech Support

Beavis and Butthead – Daughter’s Hand and Tech Support

Beavis and Butthead

And now let’s hit up the Second Episode of the revised Beavis and Butt-Head series!

Daughter’s Hand
Ignoring everything else, Daughter’s Hand features the return of Tom Anderson! It’s also hilarious! Watching an old time movie where a character asks for someone’s daughter’s hand leads to a perverted misunderstanding by the duo. The eventual conclusion features fisticuffs and the realization that the answer was right in front of them the whole time.

Riffs
16 and Pregnant – The boys riff on a show packed to the gills with people stupider than them (and they know it!) Also some good commentary about if one girl is a bad actor or a bad person.
True Life – I Have a Paranormal Ability – Even Beavis and Butthead are aware that this woman is a fraud.

Tech Support
The pair head to the abandoned drive-in, only to find it is now an office park. Confused, they wander inside and are put to work running the tech support for the computer company. Hilarity ensues. Beavis and Butthead are not particularly good at the job, and begin turning coworker Hameed into one of them after the boss mistakes their quickness on the phone for being good at the job. This ends in disaster as a massive power outage causes looting just as Beavis and Butthead figure out how to get porn on their work computer. I also enjoy the cat picture on the cubical wall by Beavis.

Riffs
Katy Perry – Firework – Beavis kind of likes the song, and as Butthead can’t let Beavis have any joy, he spends the rest of the song trashing him until Beavis kicks him in the crotch

Beavis and Butthead Daughter's Hand
Beavis and Butthead Daughter's Hand
Beavis and Butthead Daughter's Hand
Beavis and Butthead Daughter's Hand
Beavis and Butthead Daughter's Hand
Beavis and Butthead Daughter's Hand
Beavis and Butthead Daughter's Hand
Beavis and Butthead Tech Support

Beavis and Butthead Tech Support
Beavis and Butthead Tech Support

John Carter vs White Ape

A still of John Carter from John Carter (of Mars, dammit!) fighting a White Ape has showed up on Entertainment Weakly’s blog (spelled incorrectly on purpose because I’m a jerk!)

I am glad that they kept the scale of the White Apes accurate (the cover art on the books rarely has the apes big enough), but for a true confession: I went to the theater recently and the John Carter trailer started playing. I had no idea what it was and got bored and stopped paying attention until i realized it was the John Carter trailer I saw months ago. It just doesn’t have that excitement of trailers that are awesome. Maybe I’m just being overly jaded from decades of disappointment from entertainment. Or maybe I’m a big jerk! Oh, well. So enjoy this picture of a huge monkey!

John Carter fights White Ape

That's not what I meant by "On like Donkey Kong!"

Manos in HD

Manos in HD – restoring Manos the Hands of Fate to all its glory!

Recently, a film collector made an amazing find – the original 16mm workprint of Manos: The Hands of Fate.

Complete with never-used alternate title!
Manos Fingers of Fate

Hal Warren shot Manos on 16mm reversal stock and edited the film using that same stock. Then he made a 35mm blow-up internegative, and made copies of that for the distribution copies. So already the film was going to look murky in theaters. This print is the original 16mm print.

To compare the current best copy (a vhs dub of the distribution print) to the workprint:
Manos
Manos

Just amazing, that’s what this is. We get glimpses of things such as a few outtakes, seeing beyond the cropping, and even the original opening shot. The owner of the print is preparing the footage to make a limited BluRay release, as well as keeping this print in good enough shape to make theatrical prints from.

Manos Torgo
Manos Master

Beavis and Butthead Crying

Beavis and Butthead – Werewolves of Highland and Crying

Beavis and Butthead

The return of Beavis and Butt-Head is an event that will change America. Not really. But as someone who grew up with Beavis and Butt-Head and remembers all the controversy over the show, the return of the show is a blast of nostalgia and a time to reflect on how America has changed since the show left. What was once considered controversial will probably now be largely ignored as the show airs, with Southpark and other shows taking up the mantle of targets by busybodies with nothing better to do. Heck, there isn’t even an opening warning any more! MTV has graduated to not playing music videos, causing Beavis and Butt-Head to target both videos and the array of reality shows for their commentaries. This has the added bonus of letting us see actual real life people who are far stupider and reprehensible than Beavis and Butthead could ever be. It is a testament to Mike Judge’s vision…no, actually, it’s the same of a nation that people like that are given outlets and money and fame instead of mocked like they deserve. Will Beavis and Butthead save America by destroying the Jersey Shore? If we ever needed a hero, we need one now.

And now that the ridiculous introduction is out of the way, let’s get on with the show!

Werewolves of Highland
Beavis and Butthead watch a Twilight film and realize how much women love the romantic cheesy lines from the film. The Twilight even spills over into school, with Mr. Van Driessen mentioning how the Twilight vampires and werewolves are true antiheroes who are irresistible to women. So Beavis and Butthead get get the idea to become vampires and werewolves themselves! They spots a homeless dude at the mall and have him bite them. But instead of becoming werewolves, they become infected with a score of diseases.

Riffs:
MGMT – Kids – An awesome trashing of the bad parenting shown in the video. And yes, that’s Florida.
Jersey Shore – The boys give us a good slamming of JWOWW and her stories of her grandkids, along with the general terribleness of Jersey Shore cast
Skrillex – First of the Year (Equinox) – Beavis knows what a child molester looks like very accurately. The pair discuss what would actually be spoken on the call to 911 about this video.

Crying
A stray onion causes Beavis to tear up, leading to nonstop mocking by Butt-Head over his crying that continues for the rest of their lives. Sometimes simple episodes like this showcase how awesome the show is.

Riffs:
True Life – I’m Addicted to Porn – “porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn”
LMFAO – Champagne Showers – The pair trashes them for spraying around expensive champagne while the economy sucks. Yes, Beavis and Butthead are the 99%. They also deal in philosophy with the statement by Beavis “Why were we born as us?” Makes you think.

All in all, a killer opening show, and a sign the series hasn’t changed a bit, but is still hilarious.

Werewolves of Highland
Werewolves of Highland
Werewolves of Highland
Werewolves of Highland
Werewolves of Highland
Beavis and Butthead Crying
Beavis and Butthead Crying
Beavis and Butthead Crying
Beavis and Butthead Crying
Beavis and Butthead Crying

NOTE: For these reviews I will be using Butt-Head and Butthead interchangeably, because barely anyone types “Butt-Head” when talking about the show.

Lady in Black Cracks the Gate of Hell (Review)

Lady in Black Cracks the Gate of Hell

aka The Hell’s Gate aka The Black Musketeer (part 3) aka 女黑俠威震地獄門

1966HKMDB Link
Directed by Law Chi

Lady in Black Cracks the Gate of Hell is different than the other two Dark Heroine Muk Lan-Fa films, because there is less Muk Lan-Fa in it. Sister Muk Sau-Jan takes much of the spotlight for the first half of the film. I don’t know if actress Suet Nei was busy (she had several other films out that year), or if the studio decided it wanted to focus more on Law Oi-Seung and try to make her a bigger star as well. If so, it didn’t quite work, as her film output never reached star levels and she faded away to obscurity, to be only mentioned by guys with websites.

Lady in Black Cracks the Gate of Hell is also different because it looks more low-rent. The scale seems smaller, the plot more confusing, the stakes are less severe, and the villain dies in one of the lamest (but realistic) ways ever. But it’s still some good Jane Bond. And worth tracking down if you’re into this sort of stuff. Once again, the only available formats is unsubtitled vcd or DVD. And as we all know, at TarsTarkas.net, we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Muk Lan-Fa (Suet Nei) – Cracking the gates of Hell is child’s play for the Dark Heroine at this point. So let’s give her a real challenge: punching Cerberus through the gates of Hell in one punch. Dark Heroine Muk Lan-Fa has 24 hours to complete this task.
Muk Sau-Jan (Law Oi-Seung) – Dark Heroine’s sister spends most of the film starring in the film as Dark Heroine is MIA for a huge chunk of it. And then she gets kidnapped again and again and again. It’s crazy!
Ko Cheung (Kenneth Tsang Kong) – Ko Cheung is the cop with the mop. Wait, that makes no sense. And now I’ve screwed up this whole cast bio! Dang it. Move on to the next guy…
Sing Sam Long (Fung Ngai) – The Fat Bad Guy in charge of this latest gang, whose name I didn’t catch because it isn’t in the title nor do they have their own company letterhead. As a mastermind, he’s pretty lame, and he gets foiled rather easily and dies like a jerk. A jerk!