The Three Stooges Trailer

Left on a nun’s doorstep, Larry, Curly and Moe grow up finger-poking, nyuk-nyuking and woo-woo-wooing their way to uncharted levels of knuckleheaded misadventure. Out to save their childhood home, only The Three Stooges could become embroiled in an oddball murder plot…while also stumbling into starring in a phenomenally successful TV reality show.

Not being six years old nor missing half my brain, I don’t think I’ll enjoy this.

sean hayes stooges

Vampire Dog

Vampire Dog

Vampire Dog. It’s real.

Ace is just like any other new kid at school, until his grandfather from Transylvania dies at age 96 and sends him his dog Fang. Ace soon discovers that Fang is a vampire dog – and he speaks English! Mad scientist Dr. Warhol (Amy Matysio!!) and her bumbling assistant Frank try to capture Fang and steal his DNA in hopes of developing the latest anti-aging technology, but lucky for Ace the vampire dog manages to stay one step ahead of his pursuers. Along the way an enduring friendship forms when Ace and Fang discover that together they are unstoppable. – Written by Vampire Dog Productions Inc.

Jakkalan (Review)

Jakkalan

aka This Girl Is Bad-Ass aka จั๊กกะแหล๋น

2011
Directed by Petthai “Mum Jokmok” Wongkumlao
Jakkalan
Everyone who reads this site regularly (all four of you!) knows that TarsTarkas.NET has been following the career of Jeeja Yanin Vismitananda (or however her name is spelled this week!) From Chocolate to Raging Phoenix, we’ve watched her kick people in the head again and again. And now, with Jakkalan, there is more kicking of heads. But not that much more. And mostly weirdo Thai comedians being weird Thai comedians. So, it is disappointing, to say the least. A waste of time, to be more wordsmithy. Something to actively avoid, to be long-winded. That’s not really that long, but you get the idea.
Jakkalan
With the overseas name This Girl Is Bad-Ass, the distributors are obviously capitalizing on Jeeja’s popularity in the West as a cult female action star. The problem is most of the film is barely about her. I am not sure how this is going to get cut for overseas, because besides the lack of Jeeja and lack of fighting scenes, the rest of the film is Thai comedy, and that rarely translates well to Western audiences in the best of films. In Jakkalan, it’s mostly dialogue comedy, which translates even worse, and beyond worse if you’re watching with no subtitles like I did (at TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles!) What is weird is I am against cutting foreign films for American markets just on principle, so I’m technically against the only thing that could save Jakkalan. It’s like Sophie’s Choice! Jakkalan’s Choice.
Jakkalan
Jakkalan tries to do too much while also wandering around and not doing much of anything. Director Mum threw in so many random comedians who all get screentime, screeching the film to a halt as everyone acts goofy and does goofy things. That’s great and all, but we came for the fighting! But we’re inundated with goofy costumes and goofy voices as every comedian in Thailand has an excuse to run wild playing a gangster.
Jakkalan

Jakkalan (“Jeeja” Yanin Vismitananda) – Jakkalan is a tomboy bicycle messenger who beats up bullies and crushes on a rocker guy with a secret that was obvious even without subtitles. Despite being the title character and the entire focus of the marketing, she’s only in like half of the film and there are just three fights.
Uncle (Petthai “Mum Jokmok” Wongkumlao) – Jakkalan’s uncle, who raises her from a baby while struggling to also run his video store business. And is caught in the middle when all the gangster stuff happens. Mum Jokmok also directed the film, and is a Thai comedian, thus all the other comedians in the flick.
Suitor (Akhom Pridakun) – This man with the great teeth spends most of the film pursuing Jakkalan, who doesn’t have time to even look at him. Was saved from a bully by Jakkalan as a child, thus his crush.
Schoolgirl Fighter (Alisa Sonthirot) – It’s a schoolgirl because we need to make someone Jeeja fights slightly memorable! Slightly. The only info on Alisa Sonthirot is where I got her name from, WiseKwai’s site.

Jakkalan

John Carter of FULL Trailer!

We had the smaller version of the full trailer for John Carter (of Mars, dammit!) this morning on ABC (because the target demographic is obviously old women…), and now we get the full full trailer, which premiered on Jimmy Kimmel Live and IGN, because someone in marketing remembered John Carter should have many males in the audience.

This looks better than that tv clip, so at least it looks like it will be fun. It better be!!!

Also I’m loving the random comments saying this is an Avatar ripoff. Way to know nothing about nothing, buddy!
via IGN

John Carter of Trailer

Here’s a nice crappy version of the John Carter (of Mars, dammit!) trailer that isn’t supposed to drop until tomorrow. Will update when a non-ABC logoed version shows up. This trailer looks better, has more Martians and action. Will have a more detailed analysis soon, but for now I am Tars Tarkas of Stuck at Work.

The “John Carter of” jokes will never stop, by the way. Get used to them!

via ABC