Looks great! NPH is back, Santa is real, and the 3D is all over the place. But I’ll probably skip out on 3D as I hate it. Still, will be going to the theater for this one!
November 4th Christmas comes early!
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Men Suddenly In Love
Men Suddenly in Love
aka 猛男滾死隊
2011
Written and directed by Wong Jing
Ever get tired of the non-stop sugar sweetness of the Hong Kong New Years comedies where everyone gets married and lives happily ever after? Well, don’t worry, because Wong Jing is here to throw a dose of jaded bitterness all over the institution of marriage with Men Suddenly in Love! Cheating, seduction, treachery, plotting, conspiracies, the game of thrones that is marriage in Wong Jing land is all laid bare before you. And despite the bad message, the film has some entertaining parts, but not enough to keep me happy.
The title references the similarly toned Men Suddenly In Black (2003), though where In Black shines in it’s unique portrait of marriage, In Love seems like a hollow copy, half-hearted in its conspiracies, too focused on setting up random scenarios than coalescing everything into a major narrative. Though probably done to get around the filming schedules of the stars, there are few scenes where everyone is together. It’s more like a series of stories that randomly intersect.
If you love films where hot lang mo models want to get with old old dudes, then you will love Men Suddenly In Love. If you aren’t an old dude, then you probably are rolling your eyes (if you are an old dude, you are probably combing your hair, anticipating hot models to come wandering in your room any moment!) The irony of these new models is some of the wives they are replacing were once considered the hotties of the Hong Kong cinema world, though said hotties were less likely to be strutting around in a bikini or bras for their films.
The main characters are a group of guys who over the years were students of a teacher named Master Jude, who reunite to celebrate the 80th birthday of Master Jude. Each guy has gone on to a life of success thanks to the teachings of Master Jude, and though they are married, the marriages have their own flaws and levels of dissatisfaction. These different men of different ages and different class years at school are also portrayed as deep friends solely due to their bond with Master Jude, though it is not explained why they hang out together despite the large age differences..
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Jek Porkins is in the upcoming Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody!
It’s true. It’s true. I haven’t watched the Star Trek The Next Generation one yet, which acts like an episode of the show. I wonder how much of this will be parody and how much sex scenes. Axel Braun directs. Will Chewbacca bend his wookiee? Will Luke Skywalker get cocky? Who will feel the Force? Star Wars has so many double entendres I expect this to be a non-stop barrel of puns.
Safe for work trailer below!
Super Batman & Mazinger V (Review)
Super Batman & Mazinger V
aka Super Betaman aka 스타짱가 II 마징가V 슈퍼베타맨
1990
Written and Directed by Yeong-han Kim
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Viewmaster…Attack!
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What if Batman was some goofy Power Rangers kid show. And it sucked. Welcome to the world of Super Batman & Mazinger V! For those of you in the know, South Korea during the 80s and 90s produced a whole slew of copyright violating children’s programming that put the insane in the brain, much of which had tie-in low-quality toys. All of these films are horribly awful, and most of them are unknown in the West, rotting away on Korean VHS tapes. But occasionally some of them get brought out into the light of day, blinking in the sunlight, exposure to the bigger world a new and surreal experience for them. And TarsTarkas.NET tells them how much they suck!
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Coming soon to the next Nolan film!
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This time, Batman has gone all Power Rangers, and is either called Super Batman or Super Betaman (the film and related media cannot make up its mind!) He looks like he should be fighting Krankor and the Neptune Men, but instead fights a space witch and her crappy wolfman army. Besides making a horrific-looking Batman, they also steal wholesale from Mazinger V, an anime you’ve heard of if you’re into giant robot stuff, or will hear of once the new movie comes out in a few years (if you are reading this in the future and the movie already has come out, then read that sentence as past tense, but at least you get to fly hovercars!)
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Hey, Teen Wolf Cosplay Guy, carsurfing was outlawed for a reason!
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Other Korean kiddie programming includes Our Friend, Power 5 (Wurideul-ui chingu pawo 5) – A 1989 Ninja Turtles ripoff, Ddaeng-Chil and Double Light (땡칠이와 쌍라이트) – A 1990 alien invasion film where Yoda and apes show up, Eagle Man (who looks like another Batman clone), Dragonball: Goku Fights, Goku Wins (1990) – A Dragonball feature that follows the plot closer than any official Dragonball movie, and literally dozens more. Some of the films are all live action, some are all animation, and many are mixed in between, with models waved around and goofy alien costumes. The most frustrating part of the little information I’ve been able to find about these films is that they only have been released on decaying vhs tapes and will probably soon wither away into nothingness. The common denominator of many of this films seem to be to sell cheap toys, heck in this film a character carries around the toy of the giant robot! The legality of the toys I am sure is questionable at best.
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Hi, we’re going to go all Star Wars Holiday Special on your ass!
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As the film is in Korean with no subtitles (We don’t need no stinking subtitles!), character names are guesses or descriptions, and the plot is put together from what can be understood from the pictures. As it is a kid’s program, the plot isn’t that complicated, so no worries there. We’ve even found this handy plot synopsis: The witch Rinke rules over the plant Astro with an iron fist. She decides that she needs the super-powered robot, Zangga, to spread her rule to other planets. She learns that Zangga is lying dormant somewhere on Earth and sends her agents, Kats and Kobra, to find and collect him. However, she did not count on the intervention of Betaman and some Earth children who are also looking for Zangga.
That doesn’t help at all! Okay, it sort of has what is happening. Is Kobra the name of the Wolfman? I couldn’t ID any of the actors, but I added some names to the tags just in case. And I hope the mysterious II in the Korean title doesn’t mean there is another Super Batman film out there…because…::shudders::
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Batman poses for photos, thousands die.
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Looks like some lucky family got their family portraits back from JC Penney!
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Suing the Devil will be the greatest film in history
Check out this awesome trailer! I can’t decide what I like best. Satan kicking the KISS fan in the crotch, Mr. Innocent representing all the casinos in Vegas, the Devil hiring smart people (damn that book learnin’!), $12,000 in credit card debt being mentioned as a horrible secret, “Have you ever done…..internet porn?”, the WWE Smackdown legal analysis on the news, the hero being a racist, the Devil inventing noise, or the hero commanding “get thee behind me Satan!” while Satan is already behind him. It looks like someone forgot to tell Malcolm McDowell that this isn’t a parody! Also LOL at Tom Sizemore in this flick.
La Verdadera Historia de Barman y Droguin (Review)
La Verdadera Historia de Barman y Droguin
1991
Directed by Gilberto de Anda
Written by Gilberto de Anda and Valentín Trujillo
La Verdadera Historia de Barman y Droguin is a Mexican Batman parody film, made in the wake of the Burton Batman film with a distinctly cantina feel. Because the characters are based out of a cantina and have alcoholic beverage themed logos. It betrays where the idea for the flick probably originated from.
For a Batman parody film, Barman y Droguin spends a good portion of the film dicking around before it gets to the point. And not even an origin story, the main characters go to a movies multiple times before things begin. Someone crams 50 pounds of Rambo parody in this 3 pound Batman sack.
Víctor Trujillo is a comedian and host best known for his character Brozo the Creepy Clown, but beyond being an anti-clown, Brozo is also a political crusader! In 2004, the Brozo show El Mañanero debuted hidden footage of corruption of political figures, including a tape of then personal secretary to former Mexico City mayor (and unsuccessful Mexico Presidential Candidate) Andrés Manuel López Obrador, René Bejarano (who was elected to the Mexico city legislature), accepting a $45,000 bribe. Mexican congressman Federico Döring aired the video on Brozo’s show, and Brozo crewmembers found Obrador in the same building and got him to agree to an immediate interview, where he was shown the footage for the first time and had to respond while shocked (he tried to play it off as a campaign donation from Argentinian businessman Carlos Ahumada Kurtz for another person’s campaign.) More bribery videos were released (it became known as the videoscandals) and more corruption was shown. Bejarano spent a year in jail before a controversial release, Carlos Ahumada Kurtz was arrested and fled the country, but was brought back and later acquitted and left Mexico for good. I can’t seem to find the video of the original incident, but here is part of a followup interview and you can see Víctor Trujillo as Brozo in all his glory.
A few years later (and no longer dressed as a clown, as Trujillo retired the Brozo show after his wife passed on, though Brozo makes occasional appearances) Trujillo once again made news taking down a corrupt politician, when he confirmed that there were inquiries into the fortune of Governor Arturo Montiel, a presidential precandidate. Montiel denied the charges, but his career was over. The evidence of corruption has only grown, despite another acquittal. Montiel has also been linked to a murder.
Mexican Batman is awesome. Christian Bale just yells at lighting guys.
We have a nice video toaster opening credits with all the characters drawn MSPaint style and run as a slideshow as the credits go by. Helps set up the non-serious tone.
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