You’ve probably already seen this, but if you were busy this weekend having a life, here it is! Nic Cage pees fire!
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Bitter Lake – Furries yiff their way onto the big screen
By big screen, we mean direct to DVD and a few con showings. But close enough.
The plot:
After more than a decade of peace the proud and noble kingdom of Valanor is suddenly torn apart by a terrible civil war. When the dust settles and recourses start to dwindle, the starving people of Valanor cry out for peace, forcing the leaders of Tier, Sinnah, Daneth and Osgard to lay down their arms and meet each other at the negotiation table.
As each province prepares an envoy to find a diplomatic solution at the Kingdom’s only neutral ground, an ancient evil plots its return. Unbeknownst to the leaders of the four warring provinces this old enemy will stop at nothing to crush any hope of lasting peace.
Can the four envoys put their old hatreds aside and forge a bond of trust? Or will those that crave the blood and terror of war get their way?
Whatever the outcome, the fate of Valanor will be decided at Bitter Lake.
Notes:
Bitter Lake is the first live action full motion picture to be made in the Furry Fandom and is the second EZwolf and Shay production to date. Produced entirely by the crew itself and sponsored by Eurofurence, Bitter Lake combines the creative skills of a small team of enthusiastic and driven people and shows what can be done with minimum resources in a very short timeframe. The incredible work done when it comes to camera work, script and story writing, music composition, (voice) acting, art and fursuit building is something unique and every piece of the puzzle fits. Shot entirely on location in France and the Netherlands in HD 35 mm, Bitter Lake will premiere at Eurofurence 17 in August of 2011 and will feature an original sound track by Fox Amoore.
The trailer:
I guess this premiered this weekend. To a bunch of people wearing fursuits. Does this trailer leave a bitter taste in your mouth?
Treasure Inn (Review)
Treasure Inn
aka Choi San Har Jan aka 財神客棧 aka God of Fortune Inn
2011
Directed by Wong Jing and Corey Yuen Kwai
Written by Wong Jing
Wong Jing scores with Treasure Inn, a blend of action and comedy with just the right ratio for a pleasant viewing experience. Like most Wong Jing movies, Treasure Inn borrows from a variety of sources, the most obvious are the classic King Hu wuxia films that revolve around inns (Dragon Gate Inn, The Fate of Lee Khan, and even A Touch of Zen) Jing makes the most of the sweeping desert landscape and the cinematography and nature shots are among his best work. Jing wisely brought in Corey Yuen Kwai (DOA: Dead or Alive, So Close) to direct the action sequences, giving them the fanciful look that Yuen brings to his projects. But before we get to the inn, we have the journey along the way.
At this point, I’m no longer impressed by opening credits animated in Flash. Luckily, the credits are quickly over, and we jump into the film proper as good guys are slaughtered and villains strike a deal. But let’s meet the cast!
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John Carter footage shown at D23
If you were lucky/connected enough to get to go to D23 Expo – Disney’s showoff party for their D23 fanclub – then you got to see some footage from the new John Carter (of Mars, dammit!) movie. Reports are on both io9 and AICN, but as both of those sites seem to be competing on who can mindlessly love everything ever even slightly nerdy, take their enthusiasm with a grain of bitter reality. Luckily, AICN’s report is by Quint, the least impressed by shiny things of the writers there.
Taylor Kitsch, Willem Dafoe and Lynn Collins were with director Andrew Stanton as he showed the footage.
I still have the same basic problem with footage I’ve already seen (in that Mars isn’t nearly fantastic enough…
…
However Woola’s introduction scene they showed today is the very first thing I’ve seen from Stanton’s John Carter that I love without reservation.
The rest of the footage they described back in July, around the same time others got first looks.
Before Stanton and the actors left the D23 stage, they played one last bit of footage. Carter and Tarkas finds themsleves in a Thark arena about to be executed. Tarkas is badly injured and Carter’s leg is chained to a rock. A colossal, six-limbed white ape is then released. It charges them, swatting them out of the way like gnats. Carter recovers and starts leaping over the white ape. He seems about ready to break the chain tying him to the rock, which is when a rather bored-sounding Thark in the stands declares, “Release the other one.”
You can read the links for full descriptions.
D23? I haven't seen the first 22 D's!
Jimmy Valiant: Scions of Danger
Jimmy Valiant: Scions of Danger is a proposed pilot for a series about a Christian action superstar spy soldier of fortune. AKA a mercenary for hire, even though the trailer tries to say he isn’t a mercenary for hire. But he is. And he’s totally not into Jesus, though we know that won’t last because he’s hired by a super-christian Texas state senator to uncover a conspiracy involving a dark-skinned Latino guy and an atheist mastermind who wants to remove children from the homes of Christians in Texas, which would totally happen with the 99% Christianity and 900 billion guns in Texas. My favorite part of the narration is where Jimmy Valiant declares that being a Christian politician will get you killed. As we all know, Jesus was all about being a merciless killer of evil. Remember his sermon on the mount: “Verily I say unto you, useth the Bushmaster XM15-E2S AR-15 with an Eotech red dot sight and a Gemtech G5 silencer, 30 round clip, and retractable stock. Aimth for the head.” Jimmy Valiant looks like a child version of Jason Priestly. If you want to see this get made, I think there is a Kickstarter page.
Jimmy Valiant: Scions of Danger Full-Length Trailer 1 from NDFilmmaker on Vimeo.
Jack the Giant Killer – RiffTrax Trip Report
The latest of the RiffTrax Live events took place this week, with a theatrical showing of Jack the Giant Killer. And what a RiffTrax Live event it was! Probably the best of the three I have seen in theaters (House on Haunted Hill and Reefer Madness were the other two), Jack the Giant Killer is also the first all-original full length film RiffTrax Live event. And good things come in all-new packages.
Before the main event, we only have one short, the mystical What is Nothing?, where two boys mumble and ponder the meaning of nothing while looking high as a kite. Or two kites. Or NO kites….. This ponderous film strip (when would this EVER be shown in classrooms???) is beyond weird, among the strangest things I’ve seen riffed. Those creepy 1970s shorts they got a hold of after getting to RiffTrax have been non-stop gold.
There were also two shorts from Richard Kyanka (Lowtax), narrated by his daughter and animated by the SomethingAwful team, which were entertaining (about Doorknob Man and Monster House) in an Axe Cob vibe.
There were a few technical glitches, namely some visual dropouts during the second Lowtax short, and the camera lingering on a sweaty Bill for some reason while Kevin talked for 30 seconds. But all was well as we moved on to the main event…
Jack the Giant Killer
A treasury of awesome awfulness, Jack the Giant Killer features many stop-motion monsters, dubious special effects, and many actors in “witches” costumes that make them look like folks out of the Star Wars cantina. All of which is awesome to folks like me. Jack himself is pushing 40, but sold to us as a young hero who lucks into slaying the giant sent to kidnap the Princess Elaine. But the evil Pendragon won’t stop scheming, and ends up kidnapping Elaine at a later date, causing Jack to go on a rescue mission. Goofy things happen along the way, a kid tags along, a viking is there, and also a leprechaun in a bottle. Sadly, the non-murderous kind. But we did learn that when a leprechaun tells you to “seize the bone”, you don’t say no!
Several golden moments include the chimp in a thong and Phil being happy. The climactic conclusion involves a sea monster, another giant, and a huge bird dragon thing. There were so many targets on the screen each moment, the Riffers must have felt like kids in a candy store. But Mike, Bill, and Kevin pulled it off marvelously, and in the end, the $12.50 was worth it. I enjoyed the film well enough it has been added to the review queue, at which time I’ll get more than the random screenshots I ganked from another site.
Before the film were the usual RiffTrax gag movie facts slides, which were funny (except the dig at Cool Dog! Cool Dog is the greatest movie featuring a cool dog, EVER!) I would be remiss if I did not mention I went to see this with Todd at FourDK, because that’s what awesome movie bloggers do: go to movies!
Be right there!
