Zone Fighter Episode 03 – Tatake! Garoga-no Chitei-kichi

aka Defeat Garoga’s Subterranean Base! aka Strike! Garoga’s Underground Base

1973

Directed by Ishiro Honda
Written by Masaru Takesue

Zone Fighter Episode 3 is here, and like the rest it is weird and unsubtitled. So we don’t need no stinking subtitles, but you might need to read the Zone Fighter Splash Page to get caught up with the series if you are unfamiliar.

Blah blah Peaceland got Alderaned the frak up, the Garogas followed the Zone family to Earth, and now this planet is in danger because the Zone Family only thinks about saving their own skin.

A third guest star kid in as many episodes is Akira’s new best friend. What is with this kid, he can’t keep a friend longer than one episode? And yes, this new kid named Momo has tiny shorts.

Garogas kill a dude via gas in a can that his car runs over and vaporizes the car! Why not do this to the Zone Family? (Because as we see later the guy isn’t killed, only teleported to the Secret Underground Base of the title!)

The Garoga have a Secret Underground Base with mushroom-shaped buildings on Mt. Fuji that isn’t really underground all that much. Maybe it has deep basements, and that’s the secret. I haven’t been this disappointed since I found out Monster Island was a peninsula!

Some Japanese Arab Shieks are in town, and the Zone Family impersonates them as a lure for the Garoga. Are Japanese Arab Shieks that common? I’m leaning towards no.

The gas teleports them to the underground base via a sequence that makes me think I’m tripping balls here!

So Zone Fighter turns his car into a flying car and somehow that makes him able to go through the teleportation thing despite not being gassed, so the flying car is also zooming through the 60’s LSD trip to end up in the underground base.

Momo, Takeru, and Hotaru are captured by the Garogas, who also have Momo’s dad captured. Some random hostages are killed via disintegration. Hotaru does something useful for once when she distracts the Garoga guy for a few seconds while he’s forcing Momo’s dad to spill some secret thing. Garoga guy then slaps her like 15 times.

Ah, Japan.

He’s sooooo busy slapping her that everyone else gets free! Let that be a lesson to you, only slap women 13 times.

Zone Junior flies into the flying ship Smokey and heads to the Garoga base, while Hikaru becomes Zone Angel to fight Garogas. Zone Fighter kills four Garoga goons, then goes to fight the boss Garoga. This Garoga calls for help from his boss on the space station, the boss complains about his idiot underlings and sends one whole Terror-Beast to help. Maybe send like 50 Terror-Beasts since this is your greatest enemy ever and only one monster is never enough. Plus, he only has a tiny supply of energy and that is obvious to even the blind that you could easily overwhelm him and drain his power. Idiots!

It’s terror-beast Dorora! He’s so evil, he’s…got a rose for an arm? That’s weird. And a second head on his back. That’s not as weird as a rose arm. This guy gets an A for imagination.

Zone Fighter is no lover of the beauty of monster design, and grows big to destroy the creativity so his unimaginative design is once again the only game in town. Zone Fighter must destroy, for he cannot create, except for the sorrow he creates in the wake of his destruction.

Dorora is getting kicked until it spits red dust all over Zone Fighter. It’s like the rest dust from V, and Zone Fighter is now on the receiving end of the butt kicking. Even the rose hand is a weapon, because every rose has its thorns.

Zone is out of energy! NOOOooOOOoOOOooOoOooOOOOoooOOoOooOOO!!

Oh, wait, he’s just going to get more energy from his family. Yep. There they go. Yawn.

Zone rips off the monster’s arms with the power of greater than symbols (>>>>>) that flood out. His meteor wrist gun blasts away and Dorora is murdered!

Zone then blows up the underground base that wasn’t really underground.

The day is saved, everyone goes home, and Momo’s mom even returns from wherever boring place she was. This was the worst episode yet, somehow it just came off as boring, and not much happened hence the sparse text.

And they lived happily ever after…until next week!

Rated 4/10 (spitting dust, breathing dust, laser zapping, greater than)

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