Wingnut Web – Welcome to Commieville, USSA!

The weather was pretty nice today for the fact that the world ended and the US went all commie last night. Didn’t you notice? I am sure the sounds of gnashing of teeth, furious typing on keyboards, and oiling of guns kept you awake until the early morning. That’s what happens when grandpa lives in the next room! So now that the weaksauce non-public option having HCR bill has passed and the US is doomed to become USSR 2: Through the Portal of Time, it is time to laugh at the over-reactions of our friends on the right. Because, laughter is the best medicine. Just last week laughter cured me of cancer. Or maybe it was the chemo. No…it was the laughter.

We’ve covered the Resistnet.com as-it-happened chat first, now let’s visit the message board!

Note that this was posted in the Admin Alerts section of Resistnet.com. The place reserved for the moderators and admins to only start topics!
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Cowboy Jim is still calling for violent government overthrow months after we’ve caught him doing it before with no repercussions from Resistnet.com. TarsTarkas.NET can only conclude they endorse his comments 100%
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Thundercats are HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
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Tee-Hee! When I say “abort”, I mean “murder”!
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This yutz loves the constitution so much he never bothered to read it. Because that would cheapen it. Same with the Bible.
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Getting charged with felony harassment=patriotism
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Anti-corporations, so of course he’s pro-Republican. Makes sense.
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This college kid from Illinois (who is either the greatest troll in the world or the biggest moron in the world) is the new face of American Revolution.
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Some people just can’t handle the fact that they lost the election….
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and now for some fun from around the web!

The American Reenslavement Act of 2010!

What would happen if the fire department was actually privatized...

With more votes happening soon, and Wingnuts freaking out more and more, the next few days will be fun!

Resistnet Reacts Racistly! Live chat logs from the eve of Healthcare Reform

March 21st, 2010 was a historic evening. With the passage of the Healthcare Reform bills America has now entered the First World in terms of providing the most basic of human care to all its citizens (yes just the legal citizens you dopes) and hopefully this historic occasion could also mark the point at which the mass media and those ever so entertaining (read: complaining) Tea Party Patriots, Birthers, Deathers, Uppers, and Downers will finally have something else to laser focus their hate, disdain, and guns towards.

Because of the significance of the evening I decided to skip a really awesome concert and the chance to go out for dinner so I could watch the live Senate debate on CSPAN. I also decided it would be appropriate to spend some time with the one community I’ve embedded with for so long, struggling through this whole debate with. Along with their crazy forums, Resistnet.com also has an equally crazy live chat room where Tea Partiers and like minded individuals can gather to talk and pray and reassure each other that the Communist menace will be beaten back in the good name of the lawd. Below are the best moments from last night’s chat in an edited format (for transparency’s sake I will also provide the unedited logs, but honestly you don’t even need to assume I altered the crazy in these peoples’ words, you really can’t make this stuff up).

Oh also, when I say “best” moments I mean the moments when the Resistnet folks were at their personal “best”, which is to say the words I read last night indicate that the Resistnet community, no matter how their spokespeople paint them, are a bunch of racist, violent, gun-toting, zealously Christian, proud rednecks who would like nothing more than to see our government figured murdered, assassinated, hung, drawn and quartered, simply because they lost their shouting match that’s taken place over the past year and 2 months. I had wished last night would be the culmination and the end of such things, but to be honest I believe that, in the words of the Resisters, “things are only getting started”:

Yay! Sniper assassination party!

Dr. James Lawrenzi speaks for himself

See it’s ok to talk about picking up your gun and killing people because it’s relaxing to some of the Resistnet community

Yup you sure do Dee, but we did see that, we saw all of the crazy that you’re community “supposedly” does not represent.

I thought there wasn’t such a thing as working whites anymore since the latinos move in to town.

How dare those Black and Hispanics go to their own colleges! I’m not racist though, really.

Locked and loaded, with pitchforks (and guns).

If you covered the streets of DC in your blood I’m sure there would be those who would celebrate not having to pay for you in the new Healthcare system.

At this point Rep. John Boehner was giving his passionate remarks about the HC bill, calling to have the senators vote individually so these crazies can identify them and know whose picture to put up on their target ranges.

First they came for my neighbors (who I didn’t like anyway), and I said nothing…

Man even if she was on fire? Nancy Pelosi just can’t catch a break with these people.

Yeah witches are people too (unlike Nancy Pelosi who is some kind of half dog-person, half breakfast pastry)!

So Mellie (who is a big time admin on Resistnet) is welcoming this bill because she won’t be denied coverage for being a woman? Right on sista!

And if you’re happy with your current plans you can keep it!

Yeah, what’s the point of insurance anyw– oh.

It’s all come down to this, the vote has begun.

Too bad old folks will now be transformed into some kind of super immortal race (who will apparently shoot you) with this new Healthcare reform.

The anxiety of the vote got to some people, those would would fantasize about kissing Democrats on the lips (with tongue and everything!)

Oh haha, suddenly that thing I was joking about has become reality for Tana W. Bernard.

The vote is almost at 216 now, most of the Resistnet.com members now admit they’re ready to go to jail for crimes they’re going to commit.

Suddenly the realization that most of these people have wasted the last year of their lives sending faxes to Congress, shouting at politicians, and carrying their guns to protests. Note to self: blame it on Bush.

And finally the watershed moment. The votes have been cast, the bill has passed, now we’re past the point of no return. Time to start “changing” things.

Time to pray to God the politicians die, also time to declare internet silence, mostly due to  the criminal nature of what we want to discuss.

Ok guys and gals, time to get this REVOLUTION STARTED Glenn Beck style!

Yes, F**K talking indeed.

No, we can’t say what we’re really thinking Resistnet administrator Dee because we’re really thinking someone should shoot the president.

What are we all thinking again?

Need new options? Tactics? Winning the War? What ever are they referring to?

Mmmmm KFC.

Tana W. Bernard the lawmakers are going to die soon? Why? It can’t be due to inadequate health coverage can it?

If you turn your protest flag upside down does that mean you’re no longer protesting what the flag represents?

PLANT! EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT AGREE WITH ME IS A PLANT! OBAMA AGENT PLANT!

It’s a slippery slope towards smae sex marriages everyone!

How evil of you!

Linn is too good for a socialist Federal prison.

I think you guys have had this end of times mentality for a while.

Yeah, down with Whitey!

The plants are getting to Moondog6

And on and on and on it goes. At this point in the evening I decided to go outside to smoke a cigarette and eat the rest of the bacon in my house in honor of the historic passage of Healthcare reform. This chat log was long, but long for a reason (there is just so much crazy out there, we need to be aware of it). I’m also sure this is not the end of this kind of rhetoric, nor the end of the Tea Party, Birther, Resistneters or their schemes.

However, no matter how batty, racist, anti-semetic, or violent these people get you can be sure that here at TarsTarkas.net we will be bringing you the raw information you need to know what these people are up to. You can be sure that this is only the beginning of something. It’s sure as hell the beginning of me being able to get affordable and fair healthcare coverage and not get reamed up the ass by insurance companies, but for some others it may as well be the beginning of the end. We can’t say how far any of these people will go to express their outrage against the government but we can only hope that the passing of Healthcare reform will mean a better and healthier life for so many Americans who work hard and deserve to be helped in their darkest hours. Cheers!

EDIT: This is Tars Tarkas with a quick edit, a person claiming to be the real Dr. James Lawrenzi has written us saying the guy on the Resistnet chat is a fake who is stealing his identity. I have no way to verify this fact, but it adds more drama to the mix and I figure it is at least fair to mention it. The other James Lawrenzi claims to be pro-HCR and is very upset.

SECOND EDIT: upon further review, there is no evidence that Dr. James Lawrenzi’s identity was stolen at this time. We are disappointed that there isn’t a vast conspiracy of fake identity trolls on Resistnet.com to expose.

Wingnut Web – KKK Teabagging Edition

As we reported earlier, the RED ALERT health care protests that the teabaggers were at today was a hotbed of dumb. From racial slurs to morons protesting against people being healthy, it was bad for all. I am sure that killing the bill required yelling nasty stuff. Oh, wait, it didn’t, these people are frakking insane. A story about the racial slurs was publish, which soon became a FreeRepublic thread.

FreeRepublic is on the scene. Denying everything and claiming it was all plants.
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Imagine this like 70 times and you have half of the thread. As for the rest…

“So what” and a call for a “cleansing”. Hmmm…
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CNN could never be that clever
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We’re gonna be shooting you libs, so ignore our racial quips!
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It’s true! Why am I racist over the truth!
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That’s not the word they were yelling, moron
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zerosix needs some therapy
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It’s my right to hang congressmen from my tree
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Wah, wah, us whites are so oppressed
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He IS a negro! What’s the problem again?
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The true purpose was to spew hate without spewing racial slurs, just coded racial slurs…
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Let me get you some diapers, nhwingnut
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things that didn’t happen.txt
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His two sons will be gay liberals.
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It could be our own black teabaggers! Either Rick or that other one…
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At this point, I’m burning crosses in the lawns of tan people.
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Blacks being equal is socialism!!! Also Nazis were for equal rights for all races or something. Basically, Renegade is one of the top 10 dumbest Freepers.
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Blacks just got to get used to me calling them dirty n-s!
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Renegade’s war against helping people (the Jesus way!) continues
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It’s Obama’s fault we’re racist! Wah!
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mojitojoe with the DEAL WITH IT!
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Remember how none of the Freepers would believe this because there was no video?
A video of one of the racial taunts has appeared online:

Planet Hulk

Planet Hulk (Review)

Planet Hulk


2010
Directed by Sam Liu
Written by Greg Johnson (screenplay) and Greg Pak (comic)

Planet Hulk is a storyline from the Incredible Hulk series where our favorite giant green monster gets rocketed to another planet, where he becomes a slave, a gladiator, a rebel, and finally a king, smashing things all the while. It was very popular, for good reason, because it was freaking awesome! It spawned sequels, spin-offs, and this DTV animated film. The storyline was mainly written by Greg Pak, or Robot Stories fame. Planet Hulk brings about memories of stories such as the John Carter of Mars series, Gladiator, and Conan the Barbarian. If you have the time, I highly recommend reading the story, collected in graphic novel form. It helped get me back into reading comics for a while, which was pretty difficult to do thanks to Marvel ruining things with stupid Spider-clones and crap.

The DTV film which is the subject of this review differs from the original story in several ways. One of the main differences is the fact the Silver Surfer is nowhere to be found, instead replaced by Beta Ray Bill (which is pretty random, sort of like the Silver Surfer’s original appearance in the story!) Surfer’s non-appearance is apparently due to licensing reasons. The story is also missing the Warbound Brood character No-Name, so I guess all those Brood fans will be disappointed. As the film is not so long, the story is sped up and most of the last act is hurriedly paced, even if I hadn’t of read the original story it would have felt rushed. Along with that, many subplots die by the wayside. Finally, the tragic ending of the original storyline does not occur, probably due to them wanting to end the story on a positive note and leaving the rest for a possible sequel. Hulk may be green, but Marvel wants the other green, money!

So since I loved the original story so much, that probably means I hate this version? Not quite. Despite over-simplifying it to the point where much of the flavor is removed, the same basic story is there, and there is plenty of fighting action. There are numerous scenes with the Spikes, which show someone involved in the DTV production really liked zombie movies. Parts of it are actually creepy/scary in a way they fail to be in the comic. I didn’t hate this version, I actually liked it, but I’ll be keeping the graphic novel instead of the DVD on my bookshelf.

There are numerous cameos in the audience, including Pip the Troll, Gamora, Adam Warlock, a Skrull, Star-Lord, and some guy hiding behind the Red King who might be Grandmaster. So if you are that guy who loves Grandmaster, this is the film for you.

Hulk (Rick D. Wasserman) – Hulk smash!
Caiera (Lisa Ann Beley) – Caiera is the super-powered bodyguard of the Red King who will eventually become the Hulk’s wife. She has “Shadow Strength”, which means she can make her skin rock hard and she’s very strong.
Miek (Sam Vincent) – Miek is an unhived native with black skin so you can tell him apart from the generic insect natives there as well who will die. A loner who finally finds friends and a hive in the battle arena. Most of his story arcs in the comics are excised here, Miek doesn’t even mutate into King mode.
Korg (Kevin Michael Richardson) – A rock guy from Thor a long time ago that shows up here in Sakaar, because, rocks gotta go somewhere! By the way, my high school team was the Rocks, though no one from my high school was sucked into a vortex in space and crashed on an alien planet where they were forced to fight as gladiators. When it happened to me I had to work at Hot Dog On a Stick instead.
Hiroim (Liam O’Brien) – A castout priest who believes in the Sakaarsan so much he’s very happy when the Hulk arrives to be the Sakaarsan. Good thing for Hiroim that this movie has a different ending from the comics. And I think they killed him off later in the comics so enough of this guy.
Elloe Kaifi (Advah Soudack) – Crazy revolutionary girl who is far to revolutionary for her own good and keeps getting the team into trouble. Simmer down, girl! The way to revolt is to do it in a way where you don’t get caught.
Red King (Mark Hildreth) – The evil king of Sakaar who is evil, though the movie only shows him doing a little evil stuff and not lots and lots of evil stuff.

Come for the tea parties, stay for the N-word

At the current CODE RED ALERT OBAMACARE HOLOCAUST 2010 PATRIOT CRYBABY March happening now in DC, the teabaggers are staying classy by dropping the n-word at various black Congressmen, the f-word at Barney Frank, and spitting on at least one member of Congress. And that doesn’t count the morons carrying around signs with pictures of guns and threatening violent overthrow of the government. If I have time tonight, I will do a run down of the various crazy over-reactions on FR and Resistnet (which pushes back the fan-fiction, Census freakout, and FoxNation articles…sigh…so much crazy, so little time!)

And since when does John Amato speak internet slang?