Star Trek: Hidden Frontier Season 1 Recap
To prepare for upcoming reviews of Season 2 of Hidden Frontier, this is your Hidden Frontier Season 1 recap!
Things to know:
USS Excelsior – The USS Excelsior is a Galaxy-class III dreadnought that looks suspiciously like the Future Enterprise from the episode All Good Things…. It is the flagship for Captain Knapp as he spreads his anger across the Briar Patch and gets into fights with Blue Space Jawas.
Deep Space 12 – Deep Space 12 is the new starbase built to deal with the Ba’ku stuff. You would think one tiny planet in a nebula would be really boring…
Briar Patch – goofy nebula place the Ba’ku planet was at during Star Trek: Insurrection.
Download these episodes from HiddenFrontier.com and then read these reviews to help you better digest them. Or just read these reviews and watch the whole series later. In any event, make sure you read these reviews, probably dozens and dozens of times. You need to keep reading TarsTarkas.NET or you will get cancer.
Enemy Unknown Part 1 – We are introduced to Captain Angry and his anger, Doctor Pig, Counselor Lady, and Toby. They have an unfortunate incident with The Grey that takes place before the actual series starts during the Dominion War.
Enemy Unknown Part 2 – It is now Modern Day, and Captain Angry is captain of Deep Space 12 as well as a Future Enterprise ship, the USS Excelsior. We are introduced to every character in the show, almost all of which seemed to have went to Starfleet Academy at the same time and are best buds. Besides the introductions, absolutely nothing happens in this episode.
Enemy Unknown Part 3 – Captain Angry takes out the USS Excelsior to go frak some Greys up. But the Grey are too big of jerks to get frakked up so easily. Angry will have to lure the Grey out of the Briar Patch, as the Grey are invincible while in it, but total nerd weaklings the second they leave it. So, of course, the Grey are retarded and leave the Briar Patch and the Federation blasts them up and captures their ship. This deliberate and blatant act of war is somehow sanctioned by the Federation, who must have been replaced by their Evil Mirror Universe counterparts or something.
Two Hours – Grey, Schmey. This episode is about Joseph Johns’s magical ride back in time to the Titanic. We learn Joseph Johns’s hobby is the Titanic, and Federation Timeships are completely useless. Some bad guy messes up the timestream in order to enact some revenge, and Johns fails to correct it and many innocent people die (including some blown off of a ladder as the enemy ship attacks!) Johns then dies as does his entire crew, but not until they hit the reset button so none of this ever happened. Except for the hundreds of people who died back in time on Earth!
Perihelion – Star Trek is invaded by Star Wars, except it is just the Executor and no one is on it. Then the kid from Trekkies is captaining a ship and kills everyone on it, including himself. But the Excelsior escapes that fate thanks to some technobabble and explosions. This episode introduced Commander Shelby as the new first officer, showing that Shelby must have been frozen for a decade or so right after her appearance on Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Echoes – Wesley Crusher shows up and is bald and wearing red pajamas. Then the Grey attack a colony outside of the Briar Patch because they are stupid and forgot they are vulnerable if they attack outside the Briar Patch. So Captain Angry and the fleet blasts them the frak up. There are also some terrorists in this episode and Captain Angry gets super-angry on them. I don’t know if this was made right after 9-11, but it is interesting to speculate.
So that’s the whole season, and Season 2 takes up soon afterward, with cast changes, makeup changes, special effect changes, hair growing where the show didn’t have hair before, and strong biological urges to thrust naughty parts with fan fiction series of the opposite gender. Look out, Star Trek: Phase II!
