Rare Movie Time!!!!! – THE FANTASY OF DEER WARRIOR – 1961 (aka The Beginning of Spotted Deer)

(NOW UPDATED!)Not much is known about this 1961 film that must be the most awesome thing this side of the great wall. In what looks like a Chinese version of those Mexican Little Red Riding Hood movies, we got early Taiwanese actors prancing around in animal costumes. Seriously. Check out this sweet poster:

Chinese Deer Movie

A clip of the film:

Dianying links: English, Chinese
Cast list:
Bai Hong … Miss Deer
Lin Lin … The Fox
Lin Longsong
Xu Yu
Ou Yunlong
Liu Yunlong
Li Minlang
Yang Weixi
Wang Ge
Xiandawang
Xiaolong
Zhou Wanfen

All other information on this film is in Chinese. I have run it through babelfish, because wordpress freaks out if I try to copy Chinese characters onto it, I can’t copy them over (anyone know what to do for Chinese in wordpress??) The translations are rough, as it some of the “English” reviews. That clips of the film exist show that it must be around, in some form. Hopefully there is a release out there. I will be keeping my eye open for this one.

Here is a wikipedia page, in Chinese.

A long article on the film in Chinese

This site lists the film, and the title literally translates to “The beginning of spotted deer”
Ran Through Babelfish

Hemophagia wolf fierce and brutal, the seductress directs the wolf, the sika to revenge, Miss Lu unreasoning passion—— Is the same with all heroic story, behind each hero has an unknown start also to have the woman who audiences all know, BATMAN ” Decisive battle time ” , ” Exceeds others in ability first volume of ” , ” Night of evil spirit variant ” , spider man, X-man…. Each people want to ask these heroes before being engaged in the heroic enterprise to make anything, the BATMAN is the wealthy family shopkeeper’s children who parents double perish (approves! Looks for the husband is must select this kind), the superhuman is the outside star baby who parents double perish usually works as reporter, the night of evil spirit variant is blind person attorney who parents double perish and has not raised the seeing-eye dog, the spider man is parents double perishes the student who looks after depending on the aunt, X-man too many people omits, not wrong, you discovered that by the above several examples, surpasses 80% heroes is since childhood the dead parents, although with bursts into tears sowing seeds, must like the harvest to describe that is not too appropriate, no matter but how saying that the story always like this starts. Also has how many people to know that now the chivalrous person sika’s story

I wanted already not to be possible to test, let us from the playbill title, was returning to same year’s scene with me (this is some television news station habitually using grammar), the words said the chivalrous person sika or fawn’s time (personal servant compared to almost great time, but nose was black), the one day of forest had the fire, Lu Balu the mother escaped without enough time has been burnt, grew up day-by-day along with the fawn, it changed is stronger, a on silique, (development process please have also referred to lion king), one day of he had no intention to discover, originally in the pastThat fire is not an accident, is the hemophagia wolf to eat roasts the ripe meat to put intentionally, is only to satisfy desire of the own food and drink to kill many innocent micro-organisms unexpectedly, the chivalrous person sika decides to revenge, to complete inside the eradication forest evil animal—The hemophagia wolf, he decided that is also cooperating according to the BATMAN pattern with also evil animal fox young lady (looks like cat female), he planned that (this which tempts the hemophagia wolf using the seductress decolorization to tempt well him starts nearby Shan ? who is worth mentioning is the entire play’s essence, idea is meticulous, fox with wolf appearance, size only has not missed likely many, if asked hippopotamus young lady to develop does has pounded, moreover hippopotamus could not leave water to be too long, also possibly first rolled to Shan ?bian), all were being planned, silique’s male deer in spring

Has the fall time is very fierce, casual for goes against the hemophagia wolf descends the mountain ?, the story had finished, this story also has an important role is ” Lu Yeshi ” Was also Miss Lu (audiences all knows has been all wet, came in quickly), he was the chivalrous person sika’s friends from childhood, the sika also likes him, but he will be a vase will only cause trouble, therefore did not waste the length to give unnecessary detail, you knew behind all heroes had the woman who held back, but on the other hand, these heroes because these women are really not a hero, this was the chivalrous person sika’s origin—-Let us cheer the slogan together: Natural scenery, animal attire, chivalrous person sika!!!!

This makes a lot of sense. Okay, how about another viewpoint…

Here is some info on a site that I can’t find the link to anywhere:

THE FANTACY OF DEER WORRIER
CHANG Ing
1961 Taiwan 35mm B&W 87mins

The happy lives of animals in the forest are stirred by the sudden attack of a pack of wolves. Following the chaos, new drama and complications are introduced and the forest is forever changed. This is not a children’s animation film but a film in which a group of the most popular actors in the 50s and 60s dressed up in animal suits to play out this slapstick comedy.

Note the bad translation of the name, but I think that is how it was marketed. Some older Chinese films don’t have English translations at all, and many other are just literal translations.

Older poster:
Chinese Deer Movie

Ace Ventura Jr – This is the face of horror

Ace Ventura 3 - What the Frak???

Proof society has decayed past the point of no return has been found, in the form of the fourth Jim Carrey-less sequel to a Jim Carrey movie, Ace Ventura Jr. Just looks at that frakking kid. I want to murder him. He is the obnoxious oaf from the Nancy Drew bomb, and thanks to some sixties-ish producer having a hard on for him, he keeps getting work. The plot for this travesty:

Allrighty-then. After his African adventure in “Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls,” Ace returned to Florida, married girlfriend Melissa (Ann Cusack) and became the doting father of a baby boy. Never one to sit still, Ace’s curious nature took him on another remote case. The goofball gumshoe was never to be seen or heard from again.

Single mom Melissa couldn’t fully put the past behind her. Now a zookeeper, she and Ace Jr. (Flitter) have made a life carrying on without her husband. Much to Melissa’s chagrin, however, 12-year-old Ace Jr. has begun to follow in his father’s comic footsteps. He has recently become a pet detective for the 7th grade set, often trying to recover classmates’ missing pets, and always with big mishaps.

But when a master animal thief abducts a baby panda and his mom is wrongly arrested of the crime, Ace Jr. must jump into action. Now, with the help of pals Laura and tech wizard A-Plus, young Ace must bring the thief to justice and do his inane and lovable dad’s memory justice

Courtney Cox refused to return as well, so the third Cusack will now be the girlfriend. And can we talk about naming the tech whiz kid (read=nerd) A-Plus? Why not just name him Chip or IQ? I already give this film an F-Minus.

Directed by David Mickey Evans admits , who made the terrific Sandlot, but the average Sandlot 2, as well as Beethoven 3 and 4. He let his kids pick this movie. Seriously. Sometimes, kids need to be drowned in the bathtub.

Here is the trailer

Kizil Maske (1968 Dir. – Tolgay Ziyal)

Kizil Maske

aka The Red Mask aka Turkish Phantom

1968Sinematurk Link
Directed by Tolgay Ziyal
Written by Alpay Ziyal


Another Turkish version of the Phantom, and another film called Kizil Maske! It looks like Turkey was so busy ripping off intellectual property that they started double-dipping! A different movie means everything changes, so now Kizil Maske is actually in Africa like the comic. We know this thanks to the very racist African natives who beat drums. Kizil Maske’s costume is completely different, and now he has a loyal dog companion instead of several employees. Kizil Maske changes into three costumes through the course of the film, which is two more than the other Kizil Maske.

As I mentioned in the last Turkish Phantom review, there are three Turkish versions of the Phantom, two of which are entitled Kizil Maske and were released in 1968, the third is KIZIL MASKE’NIN INTIKAMI, which came out in 1971. As the third movie has little to no information about it, I cannot say if it is directly related to either of the originals. As this is the second Kizil Maske, it is sometimes designated Kizil Maske 2 or Kizil Maske (2) when both are listed. We live to be confusing, so we won’t. Nyeh! Director Tolgay Ziyal also directed the Turkish version of Captain America called Binbasi Tayfun (1968). His sister Tora Ziyal was Gul Dukat’s daughter, but was killed by Damar during the Dominion retreat from Terok Nor. And now you know the rest of the story.

If you want to learn more about the real Phantom comics, go to Google or something, we have better things to do than be your personal information specialists. Okay, maybe we don’t, but we still ain’t gonna do your work for you! Just kidding. Time for some more patented Phantom Phacts: The Phantom’s Skull cave is guarded by members of the Bandar tribe, who shoot people with poisoned arrows. Totally not racist. The Phantom’s costume is colored blue in Scandinavia, red in Italy, Turkey, and formerly in Brazil, and brown in New Zealand. Celebrate diversity. Kit Walker is the given name of the current Phantom (Number 21). One more Phantom and they go bust, so the Dealer will win. There is a Phantom TV series that was produced in India in 1997 called Betaal Pachisi. Okay, that’s enough Phantom Phacts. Thank goodness.

With a whole new cast, we get a whole new plot, in which Kizil Maske is recruited to help after something gets stolen and it turns out to be a conspiracy. What is stolen? I have no idea. It is very hard to tell, and the lack of subtitles kept the plot from being explained. So my theory is they stole the MySQL database for TarsTarkas.NET, because that is very valuable and worth hiring a super hero from another continent to sort out the mess. I remember when The Jokester stole our database in 2005, luckily we hired Starman to kick his butt!

So the plot explanation will be filled with conjecture, speculation, and outright lies due to the lack of subtitles. Just like usual! At TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Kizil Maske aka Fantom (Ismet Erten) – They will call him both Kizil Maske and Fantom in this film, but we will stick with Kizil Maske because it is used most often, and using a consistent name is less confusing. He is a different character than the other Kizil Maske, most noticeably he keeps his secret identity secret, instead of parading around his face like an idiot. He also has a completely different costume, and a secondary costume for detective work (plus a aquatic third costume seen at the end.) Got to make those different actions figures. Kizil Maske brings his faithful dog Sheeta with him, because dogs are cool.
Diana (Nebahat Çehre) – Diana is some hot chick who knows Kizil Maske somehow, gets him hired, and gets kidnapped by the bad guys who are really people she trusts. Then Kizil Maske leaves her to go back to Africa. Sorry, Diana, you were just this week’s woman.
Semih Bey (Erol Tas) – Semih Bey is a friend of Diana and involved in the plot somehow. His house had a safe that gets robbed, you see. Erol Tas not playing the villain? That can’t be right!
Gülgün (???) – He is sleepy a lot. He also uses a gun because he is one of the villains in disguise. Not that I was fooled. You can’t trick me, Gulgun! I see through your niceness. Just handcuff yourself and go to the police station.
Ahtapot (???It is a Mystery!!??) – The evil villain who is secretly one of the other characters! Another film with a mysterious bad guy who’s face isn’t seen (because he is a main character) with a hot babe in skimpy clothing. We have seen this before. All he needs is a cat…
Crazy Girl (Gulgun Erdem) – Ahtapot’s main squeeze, and a bona fide psychopath. Enjoys hanging out in a bikini, petting the cat, and burning tied up girls with cigarettes! She also enjoys getting killed by her boyfriend, at least I hope so because that’s what happens…
Cat (???) – YES!! All villains need a cat! Ahtapot became 10% cooler, which I admit only puts him at 3.28% cool, but still… The cat is so cool he just gets petted by the hot chick all day. Yes, this film has hot chicks petting pussy! (Here come the weird Google search strings…) The secret joke there is cats like to play with string. Okay, it isn’t a joke, but just pretend it is.
Sheeta (???) – Sheeta (I think that is the name) is Kizil Maske’s loyal dog, who doesn’t really do anything in the film. I believe he is supposed to be the mountain wolf named Devil from the comic strip.