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Godzilla Island Story Arc 20
InBad, Movie Reviews

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 20

June 23, 2008By

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 20


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Spies are not cool. Unless they are James Bond, Spy vs. Spy, dead Bothan spies, or Bart Fargo. Okay, maybe spies are cool. So of course spies will factor into the story of Godzilla Island, because when you think plastic monsters, you think spies. Camero goes undercover into G-Guard HQ, Lucas gets ignored, and we all learn a lesson to not accept random packages from the Earth’s Government. Earth’s Government is like Nigerian Bank Transfers – Stay away! But we got some monster fights, anyway. So let’s hop to it! Newbies hop to Godzilla Island Story Arc 1, the rest of us can laugh at the N3wbs and start reading away.

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Megalon fighting Dororin or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Godzilla Island Story Arc 19
InBad, Movie Reviews

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 19

June 20, 2008By

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 19


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Welcome to another installment of March of Godzilla Island! This time, things will get a bit trippy, because we got mushrooms on the brain! We’re ‘shroomin’ because the latest kaiju to invade Godzilla Island is a revamped Hedorah rechristened “Neo Hedorah”! This doesn’t mean he’s a master of the Matrix, but instead is all new, with a pink and blue tie-dye job. Neo Hedorah is also a fungus among us, because he makes mushrooms grow. I am not sure what pollution has to do with mushrooms, but I bet it makes perfect sense if you are on mushrooms. Which also makes Japanese cinema make more since. Only someone on mushrooms would think to set Rodan on fire, so he becomes Fire Rodan and defeats the power of evil mushrooms. Ah, the Japanese and their wackery! Anyway, for you newbies, hop on over to Godzilla Island Story Arc 1 to get started, while everyone else (including our visitor from Mexico who checks every day for updates – Hello, sir!) continue on with our tale of mushrooms, smog monsters, and flaming kaiju.

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Godzilla fighting Weird Godzilla or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

InBiology, Science

I didn't knock up that sea dragon!

June 20, 2008By

Drop the lawsuits, please! I totally didn’t knock up that sea dragon guy, using artificial eggs and sperm to make him pregnant. He isn’t breeding an army of sea dragons which I will use to threaten offshore oil rigs in exchange for extortion money. There will not be a herd of giant sea dragons roaming the ocean that will attack shipping lanes for cheap goods, hijack oil tankers, and sink Greenpeace vessels for fun. And any news reports you see to the contrary are all a pack of lies. Trust your Dr. Mobusu!

weedyseadragon

Endangered sea dragon at Ga. aquarium pregnant

Thu Jun 12, 3:19 PM ET

ATLANTA – A weedy sea dragon at the Georgia Aquarium has something to celebrate this Father’s Day. One of the rare creatures is pregnant for only the third time ever at a U.S. aquarium, aquarium officials said. But don’t look for the expectant mom — dads carry the eggs in this family.

The aquarium’s sea dragon has about 70 fertilized eggs — which look like small red grapes — attached to his tail. He is expected to give birth in early to mid-July, said Kerry Gladish, a biologist at the aquarium.

InScience

I didn't steal two of the Milky Way's arms

June 19, 2008By

Sure, some of my space superweapons devour stars for energy, and have been on a feeding frenzy lately, but there hasn’t been enough of a chow time to wipe out two whole arms of a galaxy! It’s just a realignment by astronomers, honest! It is definitely not some sort of conspiracy to redesign the galaxy, working in tangent with the committees to reclassify Pluto as not a planet to drive down its real estate prices. So don’t be spreading any false rumors, or Dr. Mobusu will be hunting you down!

New Images: Milky Way Loses Two Arms

Jeanna Bryner
Staff Writer
SPACE.com Tue Jun 3, 1:15 PM ET

ST. LOUIS — For decades, astronomers have pictured our galaxy as sporting four major, spiral arms, however new images effectively sever two appendages, revealing the Milky Way has just two major arms.

“We’re not proposing that they change the positions of the arms,” said Robert Benjamin of the University of Wisconsin, Whitewater. “What we’re proposing is a change in the emphasis of the arms.” Benjamin will present his team’s results today here at a meeting of the American Astronomical Society (AAS).

The results are among a handful of presentations at the meeting to paint an evolving picture of our galactic home base.

For instance, other results presented here this week suggest a completely new arm of stars wraps around one side of the galactic bulge. And another group has identified with more accuracy the location and relative distance of the spiral arms.

InBiology, Science

Unicorn is not a random mutation

June 18, 2008By

He was made a unicorn on purpose, for one reason: for kicks! That’s right, what’s better than making freaks of nature? NOTHING! The freakier the better, and this guy is totally freaked up! It rules. Even that new game Spore is all about making freaks of nature. Freaks rule, normals drool. Expect a bunch more unicorns to pop up in the animal kingdom pretty soon, as long as the pregnancies come to term. Nothing burst my bubble faster than spontaneous abortions of my freaks of natures. So many freaks who shall never get to get their freak on. 🙁

unicorn

Single-horned ‘Unicorn’ deer found in Italy

By MARTA FALCONI, Associated Press Writer Wed Jun 11, 3:06 PM ET

ROME – A deer with a single horn in the center of its head — much like the fabled, mythical unicorn — has been spotted in a nature preserve in Italy, park officials said Wednesday.

“This is fantasy becoming reality,” Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, told The Associated Press. “The unicorn has always been a mythological animal.”

The 1-year-old Roe Deer — nicknamed “Unicorn” — was born in captivity in the research center’s park in the Tuscan town of Prato, near Florence, Tozzi said.

He is believed to have been born with a genetic flaw; his twin has two horns.

InBiology, Science

I didn't kill the Caribbean monk seal

June 18, 2008By

Okay, so maybe I ate a few of them from time to time on special occasions. It wasn’t that many! I can’t help it if they are delicious! They should evolve worst tasting meat. How hard is that? Stupid monk seals. Maybe they shouldn’t have taken a vow of celibacy. I do have a pack of DNA for these monk seals so I can clone replacements, but that’s just standard DNA hording on my part. Don’t expect me to create any new Caribbean monk seals anytime soon, unless I get the urge for a midnight snack. Mmmmm…. Carribbean Monk Seal BBQ.

caribbeanmonkseal
via MSNBC

After five years of futile efforts to find or confirm sightings of any Caribbean monk seals — even just one — the U.S. government on Friday announced that the species is officially extinct and the only seal to vanish due to human causes.

“Humans left the Caribbean monk seal population unsustainable after overhunting them,” Kyle Baker, a biologist for the National Marine Fisheries Service, said in a statement. “Unfortunately, this led to their demise and labels the species as the only seal to go extinct from human causes.”

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